Princewell2012:


@op.
First and formost you have accepted you nag.

which I don't agree with you. Hmmm dictionary may have different meaning to different words it now depend on what you actually wanted.

for my wife to tell me am nagging is a complete insult on my personality and shouldn't be accepted.

The problem we were having today in our marriages is because we are copping the europeans system otherwise a man suppose to be the head of the family.
Eg.
There re people who don't like salt in their meals either on doctors advice or personal issue best known to them.

Ok wait a minute does she want to kill? if she trully loves you why is she disobeying you on that area. Honestly am angry here.

Listen man it is time for you to get to work and stop campaining to her. you have done that when you re still dating each others. but now you should talk to her man to man. that's what mariage relationship entails. I have married for ten years or thereabout I think am talking from experience.

you re having two major issue here.

1: Disobedient.
2: She don't like appologising.

Hmmm that's a serious case if you ask me.

These are my own litle sugestions.

1 Talk to her about it and let her know how you feels about.

2 if there still no changes do have your own pot. Do you understand me?

3 if after this dia still no changes.

4 Stop eating her food. Case closed.

Do this and come and thank me latter.

mrk74:

I've really learnt from your post. Thanks.

But do you have something to say about someone not acting as expected even when they had promised to. Especially where they have not cared to air their reservation/objection. The issue here actually stemmed from not acting as expected. Some of the other instances had even not doing things I suggested which were for her own good because she had reservations but didn't care to bring up her reservations.

--Modified--
For the bolded. I hope you realize that our identities are protected. No one knows us here.
I won't share this on Facebook and I'm not even using my regular NL account.

TheArchangel:
He doesn't want the best for his wife, he wants the best for himself. He want her to live like him not minding that she is a full fledged adult that has her own opinion. You want food to be cooked the way you want it not minding her own preferences. He is selfish and can't compromise. And a fuc.king nag too.

Taryur3:

So an intelligent lady like you still exist? May God bless the brain behind your sense

seyoops4u:

This is it...

samuelchimmy:
chai,see correct answer!!!!! kudos joor

its

crazenaijadude

mrk74:

Ok. It's the suggestion that I'm comparing us with them that made me express that. I've never said this to anyone before and won't say it to the hearing of anyone that knows us. I don't look down on anyone. We are good friends for a very long time.

kingphilip:
so how's it between you and her now

mrk74:

I don't mind getting your proposed solution.
As for the bolded. This is a faceless forum & no one knows us.

Maximus85:
.
If she sees this story, she will know.

mrk74:

I intended for her to see this thread and I had drawn her attention to it.
What I meant is that others viewing this won't know. Most especially those who know us won't know it's about us.
She just told me now that the thread should be on front page by now and I told her it is and observed that it has reached 10 pages and she is laughing about it.

TheArchangel:
He doesn't want the best for his wife, he wants the best for himself. He want her to live like him not minding that she is a full fledged adult that has her own opinion. You want food to be cooked the way you want it not minding her own preferences. He is selfish and can't compromise. And a fuc.king nag too.

Will it be wrong for him to cookit and show her how it is done instead of salivating and comparing her with his neighbour? What a childish behavior.
Sometimes people lose it. We are talking about a young family...a wife... a husband....is this even an issue.?

Anonylander:
Just December 2015? You guys really have to seat down and trash it out cos when the kids come there' would be more. I sense lack of tolerance and immaturity and would advise that you prepare or buy your own food for a while and hope she comes around.
Or....
Stay with her while cooking and when she's about to add the quarrelling ingredient, remove your own portion of food and continue cooking

mrk74:

I intended for her to see this thread and I had drawn her attention to it.
What I meant is that others viewing this won't know. Most especially those who know us won't know it's about us.
She just told me now that the thread should be on front page by now and I told her it is and observed that it has reached 10 pages and she is laughing about it.

Maximus85:


Keep an open mind. Visit this link. It has helped millions, you're next to be enlightened.

https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/couples-parents/

God is the originator of marriage and if you want to enjoy marriage, he's the best person to show you how.

mrk74:

Thank you very much for this input. Even though she is not really arrogant she does have a bit of ego and seems to hold a view that apology should not be necessary. This is something I want her to change. And I'm hoping that when she see's other people's opinion on this she will be more inclined to adjust.

mrk74:

Thanks

holysaint1:


I don't think that is the situation here... I think the part about the women reserving or withholding her thoughts
Is of paramount importance here and not the man's reaction..

A child.... Even when the Bible stated it clearly that wife's should respect their hubbies...

Well from my point of view.. All I see is a women not ready or willing to understand, further, the partner she is already married to..

mrk74:

We had a little talk though we didn't really agree where she claimed she is the vulnerable one in the relationship which is a surprise to me. I asked her to substantiate that and she said I'm always expecting her to be the one to apologize whenever we have issues. To that I asked if I should apologize when she does something that offends me and she couldn't answer. She then insisted she had apologized by telling me to stop being angry with her but it's like I don't accept that as an apology. I told her she should forget about it and she can continue using the item since it means too much to her. The issue has already been overblown. I've decided to give her more space. For now, if she is not comfortable on anything I will just let her be and I'll also only take her suggestion that I'm comfortable with.

I think the ease with which I adjust makes her take it for granted. When we've gone on like this for a while I think she will realize that I also used to take inconvenience to please her at several instances.

engrelvis:
@op.I v been married for d past 12yrs n one thing I v notice is DAT marriage is in phases. What u r looking at as a big deal now in few years from now u will laugh about it.dnt b treating yr wife like child.dis is because I c a lot of obey n disobedience in yr write up.learn to relax.u too upright in quest for her to obey u.listen sometimes form mugu for sake of peace.den when she is relax n in a good mood correct her with love n care.u seem to v attitude problem. Listen two of u come from different family background so u can never reason d same.n NEVER think yr reason is superior to her.if u r xtians pray together always. It helps.is well my bro

mrk74:

I don't think its a major change here. At least she is not really arrogant. It's more like not taking something serious.

vicbummadu:


MY BEST OPINION ON THIS MATTER SO FAR! How can we adopt our imperfections with zero efforts to learn and improve in areas of "disaster" in our lives? Everyone in life has one thing or the other they need to adjust to, to strive towards a place/personality called "better". You strive for excellence in your career, worship, physical looks and all...why not in your character? there is no excuse for this please, not even the education, healthy career or exposure we make so much about. Even God demands remorse and repentance when we go astray, why should a mortal NEVER feel such a burden no matter the gravity of what they have committed? IT IS UTTERLY WRONG and is not justifiable by any "word acrobatics". Just show genuine remorse of wrong, however poorly transmitted, the offended will catch the message. why would it hurt?
I am in no position to advise on a marriage I am not privy to, nor do I value cyberspace as the rightful place to seek such advise. I have expunged the matter of apology and commented on same as a separate matter, applicable to everyone irrespective of tribe, religion, status, sex and any other classifications. I believe the world would be better if we said "I'm sorry" and "thank you" more, and mean it from our hearts.

Trapnews:

[s]Mumu, keep deceiving your self, you think you know everything about men, including your husband. I know your type, your husbands marry secretly outside to seek the happiness they require while forming angel at home, many men have created two families outside because of your shallow thinking. It is easier for a man to have 2 separate wives and never possible for a woman to do same. Why not avoid that and submit to your husbands to avoid all these stories that has been leading to suicides. You compelled your husband to change and you think he's happy about that, continue, your husband's new wife is closer than you ever imagine , i dey wait[/s]

mrk74:


I don't know why you choose to focus on the food issue when I had also pointed out even things that were for her own good. I believe being her husband also places a responsibility on me about her success and wellbeing. How am I selfish in resisting her insistence in using bleaching cream when I know it will hurt her? Or is it asking her to apply for sponsorship of her MSc project by an International Organization part of being selfish? Or you only wish to note what makes for your feminism? You won't even see the part where I stated that stopping her use of the item out rightly is not really the objective but to extract commitment to reduce the quantity?
You don't need to sound this way to get your point through. You are entitled to your opinion though.

TheArchangel:
You don't have to respond to me na. Just stop reminding her or NAGGING about it unless you are married to a child.
You sound so domineering, wTH.

metallisc:



oh.. quite unlike you, i don't have a comprehension/understanding problem. I have looked through and seen i'm not the only one trying to guide you back to the essence of the OP's issue (seeing that one flew over the cuckoo's nest ). I know you want to contribute to the topic in an intelligent manner, but unfortunately for you, you can't give what you don't have in the first place.

try having an open mind towards issues and life for better understanding- you come off as a spiteful wan.ker full of resentment... i only pity the male that will get entangled with you - if you haven't snared one into your trap that is...

mrk74:

TheArchangel:

mrk74:

Lol

TheArchangel:
.

mrk74:

She'll have a good laugh at these. Lol

TheArchangel:
What's that??
You can't just leave it. Urrgh!
I barf on your behalf.