This is because women have forgotten the purpose there were created. The American culture and live style is should not be use to build a sustainable home. The man is the head, the woman must be under the man cause she is the helper. Anything more than that will bring issuse. The bible say a woman that keeps her home is wise. Women must read der bible

alkanes1:
Nurses are well made in the us. I for read nursing sef. It's a sad tale

It never to late bro.
You can do it online

naijafeminist:


God bless you mightily. This has always bothered me too. Can men please make me understand their undying need to control another living, breathing, adult human being with brains who has the capacity to reason? Do they think it's that easy to follow someone's every other without thinking of self? Like, I don't get it. What do you gain?

in every life facet, there is control...even in animal Kingdom. Why do companies have span of control and not let everybody act with his/her discretion since we all reasonable and matured adult as colleagues?
A man must have authority over his home that include his wife...am not canversing for dictatorship in the home, rather mutual respect based on our roles and man and wife at home. The pro-women law in western society is the reason of too many broken homes. We continue to read horrible stories like this as long as the fat earning salaried wives employ the female chauvinistic laws to torture their hubbys. It is sad.

pickabeau1:


Why not just marry a lady there already or even use a surrogate

Why suggest deliberately leaving apart from your partner

I doubt with the age of some of the men mentioned, if they did not already marry a black or white American lady to secure kpali.

People often know why the chose to marry from home.
One major reason is the future. Lots of men have the desire to return home in the future. The idea is if at least you marry a woman from 9ja, better still from your area of ethnicity, planning to return home together 20 or 30 years later would be easier. Though increasingly, women are becoming less inclined to return home permanently. People also dream that being from same place, the kids can be imparted with some of our traditional culture, language, together more easily. People hold on to 9ja values a lot. Whatever the level of education.

Some of those men also already have a bad experience with discrimination (having arrived in the days of more serious racism) or bad experience with a Yankee lady. A 9ja lady who's supposed to at least know our culture, if she now disappoints the hubby, it becomes double painful.

There's actually much logic behind the step of marrying from home. But fact is when empowered, human behaviour hardly follows logic.
Sometimes, you need to have seen how things happen abroad over a long period of time to really appreciate my point.

Compare Tinubu versus Buhari, OBJ versus GEJ.

As for living apart, won't you prefer your friend alive & well in 9ja than dead in America? It is not ideal, neither is death.

Bollinger:


They actually have more cognitive sense in their finger than what you have on your entire brain.

According to you? Lol! Well, good for you and them. Now get the fvck off my mention.

Chanchit:



According to you? Lol! Well, good for you and them. Now get the fvck off my mention.

Not according to me. They definitely have more sense than to make s.tupid comments like this;

Chanchit:
Moral if this story? Keep your family in Nigeria and let her father pay for her education.

Abiagirl777:
I just wish it'd stop happening, if you are tired of your marriage just walk away and pls don't leave a man penniless,its suicidal.
just recently my mum told me about our church girl,she just came back from rural Cameron to stay with one of our church brothers,very dirty,illiterate poor girl this family brushed up.unfortunately one of our deacons son fell in luv with this girl to the point of marrying her.just 3 mths later his papers arrived and he travelled abroad,his family was just managing and rily looked up to this guy.he later came back to take this girl abroad,put her in school she is about graduating as a nurse this year but the news came that she is threatening the guy with divorce if he doesn't allow her mother to come and live with them.
the guys parents are late now and the church board tried to settle the issue and the girl opened her mouth to insult the same church that helped to cater for her welfare while in Nigeria.
As it stands my guy is putting up with this girl just because of the 2 boys and the idea of starting all over again and yes mama is now living there.life can be cruel at times.

Well, if the church had not been insulted too I doubt if people would have understood what the hubby is putting up with. The guy needs to careful. The lady & her mum might finish him off finally & kick him out. The handwriting is on the wall already.

abike12:


The answer to your simple question is in the original post. I'm not responsible for your comprehension issues. Bye.

Smh ..when I was thinking of asking you out

OlajumokeBread:
Another rubbish

Who is the MOD that pushed this stinky shiit to front page ??


You said Nigerian men living in the USA that killed their imported wives and you just mentioned only 4 people

Mention another 4 Nigerian men that killed their "imported wives" and i will deactivate my account


And why wouldn't a man kill his wife when the American government favors women, if you divorce a woman, she takes everything you hand you also pay her every month

Somtn dt wld hv bn solved if u as a man made ur wife sign a prenuptial agreement b4 marriage. Get a gud lawyer 2 draw 1 up & in d event of divorce tender it if she tries 2 breach d agreement. It's called planning ahead. Shikena.

Humans are unpredictable. Or perhaps all-too predictable.

People will be cruel, ungrateful and combustible.

The main culprit here is the gynocentric social and legal system that encourages female misbehaviour
and deprives the male of any reasonable legal protection or redress.

This result is to replace the man as domestic head, and in time, to destroy the traditional family.

This is part of the Antichrist agenda.

Everything in the world is to be set opposite to the Will of God.

Homosexuality at par, or above heterosexuality in status.

Fornication now a source of pride, and not shame.

Territorial borders and identities eroded in favour of document-based nationality.

Perversion called free speech, religion called hate speech.

And on it goes.

These little tragedies are but tiny flashpoints in the takeover of the new (actually, very old) order.

Nah was oo

PunterTim:
Gory!

Lesson: Never let a woman be in control

That is Lesson Number 1!

Lesson number 2: The day your wife/woman is able to WEIGH you, SUM-YOU-UP and PREDICT YOU, is the day you SURRENDER AUTHORITY to her.

Dont blame her afterwards, blame yourself for surrendering authority to her.

In Nigeria, the call it "SEE FINISH".


Love her, treat her right but NEVER put her in a position to "see you finish".
Keep her guessing and unsure of what your "reaction" will be. Let her know that she is DISPENSABLE.... and you are ALWAYS better-off, without her.

Judging from this story, i believe that those women didn't love the men they married. Rather they followed the men because of affluence, exposure and success they dreamed of achieving, through their nursing sponsored carrear. Once they achieve their dream, arrogance and insubordination will creep in, because the union was never built on love.

Yes I get the points

I was asking why you think leaving your wife in naija with kids was better than bringing them over so that she does not go over to the dark side thus living apart?

AreaFada2:


I doubt with the age of some of the men mentioned, if they did not already marry a black or white American lady to secure kpali.

People often know why the chose to marry from home.
One major reason is the future. Lots of men have the desire to return home in the future. The idea is if at least you marry a woman from 9ja, better still from your area of ethnicity, planning to return home together 20 or 30 years later would be easier. Though increasingly, women are becoming less inclined to return home permanently. People also dream that being from same place, the kids can be imparted with some of our traditional culture, language, together more easily. People hold on to 9ja values a lot. Whatever the level of education.

Some of those men also already have a bad experience with discrimination (having arrived in the days of more serious racism) or bad experience with a Yankee lady. A 9ja lady who's supposed to at least know our culture, if she now disappoints the hubby, it becomes double painful.

There's actually much logic behind the step of marrying from home. But fact is when empowered, human behaviour hardly follows logic.
Sometimes, you need to have seen how things happen abroad over a long period of time to really appreciate my point.

Compare Tinubu versus Buhari, OBJ versus GEJ.

As for living apart, won't you prefer your friend alive & well in 9ja than dead in America? It is not ideal, neither is death.

don't even know who should get the greater blame BTW both parties, the earlier we realize it only takes a moment to die, the better! now to all the f**lish women who felt they are on top of the world cuz of their changed financial status and made life miserable for their husbands, obviously they are dead,buried and gone, where is all the riches and wealth? wonder why money, n fame tends to change humans drastically, the man/woman you once knew would be an entirely different being when money and fame comes in, live and let's live, its just money for Pete's sake!! and the husbands would certainly have a jail term/death sentence to serve, leaving no winner in the game, just two losers and their miserable kids,marriage really ain't a must!

Bollinger:


Not according to me. They definitely have more sense than to make s.tupid comments like this;

Now I know you are mentally unstable, when I made the comment I wasn't talking to you, if my comment sounds stvpid to you then deal with it, now for the last time, GTFO my mention.

Chanchit:



Now I know you are mentally unstable, when I made the comment I wasn't talking to you, if my comment sounds stvpid to you then deal with it, now for the last time, GTFO my mention.

Then stop making ridiculously s.tupid comments. Or better still, tell seun to deactivate the "quote" tab on your account.

TruthHurts1:
No wonder they refused to pass the Gender Equality Law. Nigerian men are too insecure to manage a woman who's more successful than them.

In Nigeria society tells a woman to "humble yourself" before her husband, when in actual fact they mean "humiliate yourself".

Because the only virtuous woman in the eyes of a Nigerian man is a timid, emotionally and financially dependent woman. If you're an educated, wealthy, intelligent and outspoken woman, its like a warning system goes on in the mind of an average Nigerian man. He will do everything to "tame" you and when he fails he will tell everyone that you are "proud" and "stubborn".

Forget about becoming a Proverbs 31 woman because the primitive mind of your typical African man is too sub-evolved to understand such a concept.

You are so wrong and so one-sided!

Let me use a few examples to illustrate how wrong your assertions are:

1.) take the case of divorced Nigerian couple and Divorced Western Couple:
In most cases, the divorced Western Couple (DWC) still maintain a level of decency between them. The ex-wife does not pick enmity with the new wife while the ex-husband can even play golf with the new husband. The dont see their "going separate ways" as a do or die affair! These set of people seem better to manage the "emotions' of a break-up

Now, take the Divorced Nigerian Couple (DNC) scenario: The divorce is so bitter that they remain an enemy for life. this enmity is even transferred to friends and other family members! The ex-wife must not see the new wife anywhere without making trouble, all her life, she blames the new wife for her divorce and seeks to do her harm, till she dies! She poisons the mind of the children against their father and more-so against the new wife of her ex-husband. these set of people seem not to be able to manage a break-up. It is CULTURAL.

2.) Again, let us see the case of Western Couples (WC) and our Nigerian Couple (NC) in a marriage setting:

In the Western Couple, the wife may be the primary bread winner in the family, it makes no difference since in most cases, all their expenses, from mortgage to groceries, is spent from a joint account (those who have lived outside Nigeria will attest to how the Government/Banks force you to have a joint account, without which Mortgage you can get). The WC dont fight over such things. In terms of Education, it is free so none of the couple can say "l educated you" with my money! If they are not married and live together, they both contribute to the cost of rent and Bills. The go to restaurants and both pay their way.

Now, come to the NC situation: The man is expected (culturally) to provide all financial requirement, even before he considers marriage! he is expected to pay bride price, which the WC dont pay (in some parts of Nigeria, the cost of that Bride price is enough to buy a house! ).
In a marriage setting, the "husband" is expected to provide all the money (even if the wife is working, its a matter of culture and honor!). Education is not free hence some parents see the husband as an "extension" of their parental responsibilities - he must "train" his wife and this cost much.
Another dimension is that the Nigerian wife is not able to manage "success", unlike her Western counterpart.
While a Western woman will still maintain the "cultural, marital norms" in her marriage, even if she becomes wealthier than her husband, the Nigerian wife see her "new financial status" as a sort of "Liberation and Power to revolt".

She sees it as an opportunity to "turn the table" and "re-order the cultural and marital norms" of the marriage.
She does this in the most arrogant and audacious manner, daring the man to do his worst!

What she forgets is that marriage is like a CONTRACT, it is consummated with an "UNDERSTANDING OF THE APPLICABLE RULES AND NORMS", based on the cultural environment (Nigerian) the couples embrace.
Problem starts when the woman runs into MONEY/POWER and then seeks to change the "status-quo" or "Terms and Conditions" of the marriage contract!
The Husband naturally, will say NO!
More-so, the change which the wife seeks, is ALIEN to their culture.
But notwithstanding, because of where she is (America), she is able to FORCE her wish on the husband, and even goes further to PUNISH him by stripping him of all his assets and his dignity.
The end -result is why some Husbands take law into their hands.

So, the problem is not that of the Nigerian man but that of the Nigerian Culture, which most women (and their parents) seem to enjoy and buy into, only for the woman to want to "change the contract", once she is in the Western world.

BTW, Men need to understand that the "Standard Nigerian wife" is long-gone!
The world is a global village now and the women in Nigeria are actually worse (in this regard) than their counterpart born into the "Western Culture".
A Black Woman born and bred in America grows up with the American culture (including respect for anyone carrying a gun! ).
Such women cannot stand a Black man born and bred in Nigeria, due to the cultural differences.
Such women MUST marry from the pool of Black men (if they chose Black) in their environment

Same goes for the Nigerian man born and bred in Nigeria. He should marry form the pool of Nigerian women..... but he must KEEP HER in Nigeria!
The problem arises when he carries his Nigerian culture abroad, (He is still a Nigerian man, mentally and psychologically), then in other to continue to perpetuate his Nigerian mentality/Culture in his new domain, he erroneously think it will work-out if he IMPORTS and marries a Nigerian woman (who is a Nigerian, psychologically and mentally) into the new domain.
The "Imported wife" then realise that she can CHANGE her culture, change the norm of the marriage, by ADOPTING the CULTURE of her new domain, to the chagrin of the Husband who still holds dear to his Nigerian culture (since that is what he hopes to live by, upon importing a Nigerian wife).

Solution: if you want to live abroad, marry a woman born and bred there. It wont guarantee you "anything better" but it will ensure you know what you are getting into, from the onset, so that you are not duped in your marriage contract, as the imported wives like to do.

Pidggin:


And what if one of those women was your mother, will she still deserve to be killed?

It seems your mother did all this things to your father too and he killed her savagely.

foladara777:
See an idiot justifying murder ooh...

You're very stupid.

justplainpaul:
[s]
It seems your mother did all this things to your father too and he killed her savagely[/s].

What if your mother was bludgeoned, her throat was slit or she was axed by your father, will you support such killings? Learn to put yourself in others shoes. Takre

Ngokafor:






.....Okay sorry about the 'get a life' statement..it was uncalled for..

......but you are still wrong with your postulations..This news is more of a dent on the Nigerian males rep than the other way round cis i know that foreigners read all we post on Nairaland and form their opinions about us from here too.A good number of them do not excuse gruesome murder like the average Nigerians does as you can see from this thread...fact.

..The truth of the matter is that it is only a wicked,controlling man who maltreats women or his wife that will be cautious like you said..there are countless Nigerian couples living amicably in the US because they respect eachother and the men are not control-freaks the way many are here, even those who do not contribute a dime to the up-keep of the home.


....because of the toxic environment in the name of culture in which the average Nigerian males are used to here which favours them...most of them find it difficult to cope and behave well in sane,normal soceity.They just seems to have a problem with everyone and everything!!...

..They come back home to marry because they believe that home girls are more amiable and can be bossed around easily than tear eye 'akatas' or oyinbo...fact!...and ofcourse their homebased wives have to study Nursing or be a Nurse when she gets to America simply because of the earning power of nurses in America...is that not predatory?.

..Anyway as Nigerian males are migrating to the US ,i can assure you that Nigerian ladies are too(i know a lot who will leave by December this year,both married and single)...


...Rather than whining about how they brought their wives to America only for her to 'misbehave'..i am of the opinion that Nigerian males should change their mindset about marriage giving them the 'lord and master title' regardless of how bad they are


....I know that most marriages of American women and Nigerian males ends in divorce as well..hence their(and the singles) rush back home,only to have same problems again..the fault is in you guys and not Nigerian women.

..have a good day.

This post is the real explanation for why Nigerian men murder their wives in the US. They don't want to give equal respect to women as human beings.

kid7soccer:
This is because women have forgotten the purpose there were created. The American culture and live style is should not be use to build a sustainable home. The man is the head, the woman must be under the man cause she is the helper. Anything more than that will bring issuse. The bible say a woman that keeps her home is wise. Women must read der bible

And this is why Nigerian society cannot progress... No one wants to be under your foot! Women have the same emotions as men. You should be helping each other and respecting each other. Once women obtain equal rights, they exercise their right to having equal respect as a human being, not as a slave to a man. No one is going to wear shackles when freedom is given to them. The Nigerian mentality is crippling to our society.

Some women deserve to be beaten and killed to make the world a better place.

teeghurl:
seriously?

Wait i am not condoning the act i am only explaining the reasons why such act happen, because I've read articles where the husband mostly kills the wife to avoid alimony.

justplainpaul:
Some women deserve to be beaten and killed to make the world a better place.

that's kinda radical

kid7soccer:
This is because women have forgotten the purpose there were created. The American culture and live style is should not be use to build a sustainable home. The man is the head, the woman must be under the man cause she is the helper. Anything more than that will bring issuse. The bible say a woman that keeps her home is wise. Women must read der bible

Misguided much

davidif:


But my sister, most naija girls abroad are not attractive or at least not as attractive as the ones at home.

That's not true. Shine your eyes

You are a fvcking liar.


Human beings have always been ungrateful, man or woman. Deal with it.

ABJ4Real:
From time immemorial, women are known to have bitten the fingers that fed them, but the intensity at which they continue to bite those fingers today is worrisome. Why they are wired like this beats all imaginations.
Men should always realize that a woman's critical nature doesn't disappear on her wedding day. Rather, the potential of becoming a demon or monster increases. As male leadership in marriage today is seen as 'unmerited and unwarranted dominion' which must be resisted, marriage will continue to be slavery for men. Especially men in the U.S.A. Unfair as the situation may be, that is what the society has painted.
While condemning the brutal murders, women should be mindful of their excessive expectations and men should not allow emotion to destroy all they have laboured for. Also, some men need to stop thinking with their dicks. Please use brain.

naijafeminist:


God bless you mightily. This has always bothered me too. Can men please make me understand their undying need to control another living, breathing, adult human being with brains who has the capacity to reason? Do they think it's that easy to follow someone's every other without thinking of self? Like, I don't get it. What do you gain?

I don't support killing ur spouse cos of cheap things like control but I see u are getting the stuff wrong. I think its more than that. I think the problem emanates from both people involved. Just months back a NLer posted a story of a woman that turned her husband into their house boy just cos she was the bread winner. I keep telling men who are too hard on their wife that if the case is turned around don't they think their wife would be hard on them? The problem is that people always want to do back, "vengeance is mine" says the lord but most couples forget that.
I know a man who has 5 children and was collecting social money on the kids for years before the wife challenged it in court after she was adviced by her click of friends to do so. When she found out she had won she sued for divorce and completely wipped the man out without out pity. When asked why she cited all the atrocities and hardship she bore under the man.

davidif:


Wow! The woman gets the house? What if they got married in Naija?

I think it's different in Nigeria. I don't believe a Naija court would throw a man out of the house.