₦airaland Forum

pcguru1:
100% truth

this is why they got killed
Spitefulness

FortuneTeller:
I am sorry to inform you but many women here, including Nigerian women, do not give their husbands access to all of their money. They may pay bills jointly and put some money into a joint account, but it will not be the entire amount. I have seen this cause serious problems as some Nigerian men feel they should have control over all the woman's money, even if he earns $12/hr and she is earning $31/hr. You cannot maintain traditional family roles if your wife is breaking her back just as hard as you to earn a paycheck. The husband has to help with household duties. The husband has to help with rearing of the children. The husband has to understand he does not have free reign to cheat on a hard working woman and expect her to remain still. When that does not happen, problems arise. Next the husband will be shouting the woman changed once he took abroad. Of course she changed! Her role in the family changed and she must adjust to it. Nigerian men do not want to make the adjustment. Please understand this is not to say all Nigerian men are behaving this ways. Naija guys are truly the best when it comes to many things. However in the matter of marriage, there are SOME Nigerian men who cannot handle the necessary changes when living in a western society.

then why did the women marry them? Is not by force

FortuneTeller:
Please read what you have said. Pack your things and leave? Ignore him or divorce him? Do you think a Naija man will accept such "disrespect" from his wife? This is what has led to the murders. Due to the Nigerian mentality, there are no favorable options for the woman to have peace or leave a difficult marriage under such circumstances. She will be presented as the bad person. Please understand I am not encouraging anyone to leave a marriage based on a difference in payscle. The problem arises when some Nigerian men do not have absolute control over their wives. They immediately brand it as disrespect and resort to violent behaviors. why did the women pretend if they knew they couldn't go the whole 9 yards As I said before, Nigerian men must adjust because they put their wives in new roles once they take them abroad. agreed but that's not the ''contract '' they ''signed ''
Unfortunately many do not make the adjustment and the family is destroyed.

the girls deceived the guys hence the family got destroyed

dealslip:
Shame on men like you who think women are inferior to you and that they are your slaves. Many Nigerian men are still in their man child stages. Most of them have matured biologically but not mentally and spiritually. In a system that recognises the right of women such men can never survive.

we don't think they are inferior or our slaves but if you chop moni there is a price to play.
If you don't like then don't chop, simple
How will you like it if an impotent guy deceiver you into marriage

dealslip:
I hope you aren't a woman. You seems not to understand. There is a common denominator in all the cases. The men would not allow their wives to fly because they are insecured about their wives higher earning power. You can not control another being, you can only control yourself. Most of you think that because you facilitated that your family leave together in the same location abroad with you, then your wives must submit their dreams and aspirations to you.

why didn't you show power in Nigeria so that he can decide to look for submitter jejely?

dealslip:
Why do you act as if the women give their husband's nothing in return. Why are our parent not insisting that we must take care of them or submit orur salaries to them because they laboured and sponsored our education. The dichotomy between men and women is biology and physiology. Stop thinking, women must respect you. Respect is earned not forced. If a man is in control of himself, he won't need anybody to respect him to make himself look in control. Women are human beings too with emotions, feelings and dreams.

women must not respect us, our wives however, must

FortuneTeller:
You have made my point. You want a woman to be remain "submissive" which means giving a man all of her earnings. Most Nigerian men making $31/hr will not give their wife unrestricted access to their earnings. When the tables are turned and a woman is placed in her new role, you should expect that she will act as a human being in her new role. No one is saying they won't share money. However the high earner is already paying the majority of the bills and family expenses. The high earner is going to expect the low earner to use a portion of their own earnings for things they would like to do. When a Nigerian man builds a house, it is his house and not his wife's home. Now do you expect a Nigerian woman to give a man all of her money without building a home or providing something for her family? Do you expect her to have nothing if the man leaves or becomes unbearable? I'm sure you do because it is the Naija way. For people with an unyielding Nigerian mindset, it's best they remain in Nigeria.

this is why you should marry with sense instead of marrying beauty or wallet or green card but clearly the girls knew the guys wanted submission
That's fraud

Nobleking2000:
Do you have any proof that they never loved each other that the girl was just pretending, do you?

Dat he went to the village to marry her does not necessarily mean that they never knew each other very well.
Knowing each other very well does not necessarily translate to a long lasting and happy marriage. We have heard of people who have dated for five to eight years but later divorced. also couples that once loved and cared for each other divorcing.

What do you mean dat DE man lacked the maturity to handle the fact that her husband now earns more than him whereas he was the person brought her to the United States trained her.

Do you mean dat he was not aware that if he trains his wife to become a registered nurse that she will earn more than him

how can you know somebody in 3 weeks max

cococandy:
1500 dollars a month for five children.

That's 300 per child. Is that school fees or feeding/clothing or hospital or general maintenance money etc?

I have one child and I know how much it cost to keep her even though she's still a baby. Imagine how much it cost for one school age child how much more five. Five o.

So he's complaining about child support money that really goes nowhere when it comes to what his kids need. Does he realize his wife is carrying the brunt of the financial load of those kids?

Figures. We only always hear about what the man did. Sensationalism won't get you liars anywhere.

1500 from 2k salary o
Abi you no see dat wan
You're this kind of women

mikolo80:
1500 from 2k salary o
Abi you no see dat wan
You're this kind of women

Why does he have 5 children with an annual income of 24k dollars? Who does that? Except mor0ns who think the world owes them and will cover for them when they eff up.

Am I the one that will pay for the children's upkeep and education?
He should get a second job and supplement his income because Even if he wasn't divorced and paying child support to his wife, his income is low and that means most of the financial burden is on the wife. With or without the divorce. Even worse now. Her burden is greatly increased and he's in one corner whining like a B.

This mugu with 2k monthly income will still lie to any retardd who will believe him, that he's trained his wife in school meanwhile most people go to school with student loans and pay off when they start working. Someone that can't even support himself is lying that he trained someone in college in America as if it's beans to pay college fees here.

Y'all tell these foolish stories to those who don't know how things really are.

cococandy:
Why does he have 5 children with an annual income of 24k dollars? Who does that? Except mor0ns who think the world owes them and will cover for them when they eff up.
ah maybe him born for naija besides that's why he invested in the nursing wife but now she want to buy Brazilian hair and when he says no she says he is controlling her
Am I the one that will pay for the children's upkeep and education? no be you (her) de drag custody?
He should get a second job and supplement his income because Even if he wasn't divorced and paying child support to his wife, his income is low and that means most of the financial burden is on the wife. With or without the divorce. Even worse now. Her burden is greatly increased and he's in one corner whining like a B.
second job yes
Leave the chudren with no baby sitter
Na social services una de play with
This mugu with 2k monthly income will still lie to any retardd who will believe him, that he's trained his wife in school meanwhile most people go to school with student loans and pay off when they start working. Someone that can't even support himself is lying that he trained someone in college in America as if it's beans to pay college fees here. touche
Beht no green card no student loan so same Noni

Y'all tell these foolish stories to those who don't know how things really are.

how are they?
Is it by force to marry for green card (smart girl)
Then strip the guy of 20 years of hard labour (stupidity of the highest order cos now he has nothing to lose)
Why not do contract marriage like Russian mail order brides instead of pulling the tigers tail

cococandy:
Why does he have 5 children with an annual income of 24k dollars? Who does that? Except mor0ns who think the world owes them and will cover for them when they eff up.

Am I the one that will pay for the children's upkeep and education?
He should get a second job and supplement his income because Even if he wasn't divorced and paying child support to his wife, his income is low and that means most of the financial burden is on the wife. With or without the divorce. Even worse now. Her burden is greatly increased and he's in one corner whining like a B.

This mugu with 2k monthly income will still lie to any retardd who will believe him, that he's trained his wife in school meanwhile most people go to school with student loans and pay off when they start working. Someone that can't even support himself is lying that he trained someone in college in America as if it's beans to pay college fees here.

Y'all tell these foolish stories to those who don't know how things really are.

Wow

Did you really say amen to that? Is that really the design of God?

Amen to that

mikolo80:
how are they?
Is it by force to marry for green card (smart girl)
Then strip the guy of 20 years of hard labour (stupidity of the highest order cos now he has nothing to lose)
Why not do contract marriage like Russian mail order brides instead of pulling the tigers tail

There's no way someone with 2k monthly income can sponsor another person's college education in America. Not with rent/mortgage to pay, kids school fees, feeding etc. to name a few.
Rent alone for a family of seven people if they are managing will consume 1000-1500 a month (very tight squeeze). Very.
You obviously know nothing about what you're speaking.

They tell y'all lies garnished with half truths and you're jubilant all over the place eager to condemn the woman because that's what gives you people joy. No one wonders or even pauses to think how possible some of the stories are.
He won't tell you she worked full time to support the family while in school full time with heavy course load, while also keeping home plus pregnancies and series of childbirth stress (of course she had to or she will be labeled the evil woman who doesn't want to have a child for her husband).

When she's done, he wants to have total control over how she spends the last dime and if she's not happy with that, then the forged stories start emanating from left and right.

The Nigerian nurses in USA probably make up less than 10 percent of all the total nurse population. We wonder why men of other nations don't have the same problems y'all seem to have with your nurse wives. Figures.

cococandy:
There's no way someone with 2k monthly income can sponsor another person's college education in America. Not with rent/mortgage to pay, kids school fees, feeding etc. to name a few.
Rent alone for a family of seven people if they are managing will consume 1000-1500 a month (very tight squeeze). Very.
You obviously know nothing about what you're speaking.

They tell y'all lies garnished with half truths and you're jubilant all over the place eager to condemn the woman because that's what gives you people joy. No one wonders or even pauses to think how possible some of the stories are.
He won't tell you she worked full time to support the family while in school full time with heavy course load, while also keeping home plus pregnancies and series of childbirth stress (of course she had to or she will be labeled the evil woman who doesn't want to have a child for her husband).

When she's done, he wants to have total control over how she spends the last dime and if she's not happy with that, then the forged stories start emanating from left and right.

The Nigerian nurses in USA probably make up less than 10 percent of all the total nurse population. We wonder why men of other nations don't have the same problems y'all seem to have with your nurse wives. Figures.

You were making some good points until you generalised for Nja men and nurses wives... Some ppl here have said that there are many good nja relationships in the USA even when the women are nurses.

I remember visiting a school friend in Georgia state; she was still studying to be a nurse and the husband was a lecturer in a college. I guess after she qualifies and with experience, their salaries can come closer but at the time they had no children and the guy was not a typical Nja man - had been in the States for ever... I lost contact because I could not stand her constant complaint about racism (perhaps I shd have understood a bit more about Georgia and the South) and they were Christians... I was going to stay in the US but thought better of it - UK is better!

Now as for the incomes and sponsorship and the rest... A single man that has been careful with money can build up a nest egg even on $2000 per month and at the start of his sojourn, he might have been doing multiple jobs and earning serious amounts. This all slows down with age and with family, of course.

I do not believe that anyone will be asked to pay $1500 out of $2000 for child(ren) support... These things are capped at about 25-30% and the rest is subsidised by the government if the woman is not earning enough. Why do people have so many children - no idea? The woman is probably still not living a life of Riley even with child support money but it can be really bad for a man if he has to start again in a bedsit, with a lot of his income deducted and being an absence parent - in these situations, the mother is far better off - and we are not talking just money.

What do Nja women do with their money? I shall like to ask my mum because as a pensioner she has a lot of money coming in - far more than a sibling with 3 children and she gets money from myself and 2 other sibling abroad and yet, she still ask for money... Nja women are spendaholics and they spend on things that I have no interest - always partying, giving donations, church funding, relative and family lay-outs and just doing the big I AM.

Big Sigh!

mikolo80:
better start freezing your eggs cos you go tey dia

Back to sender.
U go tey dia without a wife or even girlfriend.. No woman will look your way. Amen.

And better go and freeze your sperm... Goat

You asked me not to generalize about naija men and nurse wives. Which is alright because there are very many who are happily married. I do know that. Thanks for the correction.

But then you went ahead and did the same about naija women being spendaholics. Are you for real? If you don't know what we do with our money, I'll give you a hint. We provide for our families too. As much and sometimes more than the man. But in the typical fashion of regular Nigerians, no one sees the good women do. The man is given praise for being a 'provider' even when their contributions are equal or the woman's is more.
If you have lived around any Nigerian woman in your whole life and still ask what they do with their money, you're part of the problem.
Because my Nigerian mother provided for me too.

chrisj2:
You were making some good points until you generalised for Nja men and nurses wives... Some ppl here have said that there are many good nja relationships in the USA even when the women are nurses.

I remember visiting a school friend in Georgia state; she was still studying to be a nurse and the husband was a lecturer in a college. I guess after she qualifies and with experience, their salaries can come closer but at the time they had no children and the guy was not a typical Nja man - had been in the States for ever... I lost contact because I could not stand her constant complaint about racism (perhaps I shd have understood a bit more about Georgia and the South) and they were Christians... I was going to stay in the US but thought better of it - UK is better!

Now as for the incomes and sponsorship and the rest... A single man that has been careful with money can build up a nest egg even on $2000 per month and at the start of his sojourn, he might have been doing multiple jobs and earning serious amounts. This all slows down with age and with family, of course.

I do not believe that anyone will be asked to pay $1500 out of $2000 for child(ren) support... These things are capped at about 25-30% and the rest is subsidised by the government if the woman is not earning enough. Why do people have so many children - no idea? The woman is probably still not living a life of Riley even with child support money but it can be really bad for a man if he has to start again in a bedsit, with a lot of his income deducted and being an absence parent - in these situations, the mother is far better off - and we are not talking just money.

What do Nja women do with their money? I shall like to ask my mum because as a pensioner she has a lot of money coming in - far more than a sibling with 3 children and she gets money from myself and 2 other sibling abroad and yet, she still ask for money... Nja women are spendaholics and they spend on things that I have no interest - always partying, giving donations, church funding, relative and family lay-outs and just doing the big I AM.

Big Sigh!

Yes, I agree that I did generalise in my comments about nja women being spendaholics - I take it back! (I realised that as soon as I pressed enter but I was on the way out...)

However, it is not the same thing with generalising about nja men being murderous, jealous and emasculated beings that cannot handle women's success...

It is funny that men like Buhari who on the surface has encouraged his very young wife to better herself and be independent could in turn be maligned for being a misogynist old dinosaur. What I am saying is that I do not accept that many of these men simply want to control their women or expect respect or servitude just because they have sponsored their spouses and in most cases laid the foundation for their success.

As for your last comment about what Nja women do with their money? My comment was half a joke especially since I personalised it but you are right I do not live with Nigerian women but have a mum, two sister, sisters-in-laws and many others including a wife of an uncle who was more successful than my uncle; it ended in divorce and nothing to do with being abroad... Go figure!

From many of the stories here, it seems that the Nigerian man is still expected to be the major breadwinner even in cases where the women work and earn money. There are lots of examples here of women that earn money feel that that money belongs to them but of course, that will not be every woman.

Lastly, I still think that a vast majority of our women folk are spendaholics - that does not mean they do not look after their families or even spoil their children or their extended family or neighbours.

Amelian:
Back to sender.
U go tey dia without a wife or even girlfriend.. No woman will look your way. Amen.

And better go and freeze your sperm... Goat

I'm a guy
My sperm is good till whenever
But you my dear have limited time to dig gold

cococandy:
There's no way someone with 2k monthly income can sponsor another person's college education in America. child support
Feeding money
Not school fees
Besides, no marriage no green card
No American free or loan education

Not with rent/mortgage to pay, kids school fees, feeding etc. to name a few.
you have all forgotten conveniently when it was that 2k that was carrying the disloyal bitches and the childre
because money Don come na
To hell with the guy
Is not their fault
Is the eediot that didn't marry them in the village and bring only his children abroad
Rent alone for a family of seven people if they are managing will consume 1000-1500 a month (very tight squeeze). Very.
You obviously know nothing about what you're speaking.

They tell y'all lies garnished with half truths and you're jubilant all over the place eager to condemn the woman because that's what gives you people joy.
where is the joy in death jail and orphans
We're just saying we understand why they snapped
But you women just want to carry the dentist torch
Is it good to deceive ppl
Is it good to take 20 years of their life
Their children
Their freedom
Their dignity
Their manhood
Is that what you're planning for your husband if you have one?
Haba think am na
He didn't cheat
He didn't abuse you
You could have left
You could have sold the house and given him half
When a person has nothin to lose
They become very dangerous
Just common sense
No joy No one wonders or even pauses to think how possible some of the stories are.
He won't tell you she worked full time to support the family while in school full time with heavy course load, while also keeping home plus pregnancies and series of childbirth stress (of course she had to or she will be labeled the evil woman who doesn't want to have a child for her husband).
is she the first woman to do it
Our mothers did it and we appreciate them for it and so do our fathers
When she's done, he wants to have total control over how she spends the last dime and if she's not happy with that, then the forged stories start emanating from left and right.
was he carrying women or doing big boy
Or was he stopping her from buying frivolous things when there are more important things to cater for
Mind you he is minding the kids so cannot get second job
The Nigerian nurses in USA probably make up less than 10 percent of all the total nurse population. We wonder why men of other nations don't have the same problems y'all seem to have with your nurse wives. Figures.

cos other men are betas
We're alphas
Why do you think other women will soon collect us from you

mikolo80:
cos other men are betas
We're alphas
Why do you think other women will soon collect us from you

yimu.

You're alphas and you can't even govern yourselves successfully. All those beta men have managed to fix their countries to an acceptable standard at least. While y'all alpha dudes keep leading yours to ruin. Proliferating the entire landmass with offspring you can't cater for. You're either running to their countries or waiting in yours for the so called beta men to come save your sorry asses and help you make a future for your children.

Shamelessness.

cococandy:
yimu.

You're alphas and you can't even govern yourselves successfully. All those beta men have managed to fix their countries to an acceptable standard at least. While y'all alpha dudes keep leading yours to ruin. Proliferating the entire landmass with offspring you can't cater for. You're either running to their countries or waiting in yours for the so called beta men to come save your sorry asses and help you make a future for your children.

Shamelessness.

Indeed, intellect trumps brute strength

cococandy:
yimu.

You're alphas and you can't even govern yourselves successfully. All those beta men have managed to fix their countries to an acceptable standard at least. While y'all alpha dudes keep leading yours to ruin. Proliferating the entire landmass with offspring you can't cater for. You're either running to their countries or waiting in yours for the so called beta men to come save your sorry asses and help you make a future for your children.

Shamelessness.

point to a beta in government
Clinton
Romney
Kerry
Hilary
Trump
Alphas lead betas follow
It's betas that get pushed around by their women
We're talking domestic matters
Don't change goalpost

Ok let me get it. You're alpha in your homes and beta where it matters (the society).
Na for your woman body you get power.

Smh.

mikolo80:
point to a beta in government
Clinton
Romney
Kerry
Hilary
Trump
Alphas lead betas follow
It's betas that get pushed around by their women
We're talking domestic matters
Don't change goalpost

CFCman:
Indeed, intellect trumps brute strength

indeed

mikolo80:
I'm a guy
My sperm is good till whenever
But you my dear have limited time to dig gold

You need this desperately

Amelian:
You need this desperately

be consoling yourself
You de enjoy Oyinbo
Poshu your mate dem
Na cougar you de do upandan
Don't worry
You will learn
D hard way d only way

cococandy:
Why does he have 5 children with an annual income of 24k dollars? Who does that? Except mor0ns who think the world owes them and will cover for them when they eff up.

Am I the one that will pay for the children's upkeep and education?
He should get a second job and supplement his income because Even if he wasn't divorced and paying child support to his wife, his income is low and that means most of the financial burden is on the wife. With or without the divorce. Even worse now. Her burden is greatly increased and he's in one corner whining like a B.

This mugu with 2k monthly income will still lie to any retardd who will believe him, that he's trained his wife in school meanwhile most people go to school with student loans and pay off when they start working. Someone that can't even support himself is lying that he trained someone in college in America as if it's beans to pay college fees here.

Y'all tell these foolish stories to those who don't know how things really are.

I wonder o.
How many people living abroad can afford to go to school without resorting to student loans? Talkless of a low income earner sending someone else to school.
Some people are so gullible and highly impressionable.

cococandy:
Ok let me get it. You're alpha in your homes and beta where it matters (the society).
Na for your woman body you get power.

Smh.

yes na
Shebi na Wetin you wan hia
Call me if you wan hia d full explanation
Too long to type

mikolo80:
be consoling yourself
You de enjoy Oyinbo
Poshu your mate dem
Na cougar you de do upandan
Don't worry
You will learn
D hard way d only way

Are you done?
Taking panadol for another person
No focus on your life.. Before frustration go kill you..
You go just die throway
Am here making money, enjoying my life with my boo.....u are there barking like a diseased demented dog.

Continue ode!

eyinjuege:
I wonder o.
How many people living abroad can afford to go to school without resorting to student loans? Talkless of a low income earner sending someone else to school.
Some people are so gullible and highly impressionable.

You can say that again. I just shudder at some people's naivety.

That said, it's possible for the husband to finance about 15-20% of his wife's nursing school tuition if he saved massively within 10-12 yrs of working. Still, it doesn't translate to "I paid her school fees".