nanauju:
Happy birthday to me peeps

nanauju:
Happy birthday to me peeps

nanauju:
Happy birthday to me peeps

ItsQuinn:
HELL NO!

Career is a top priority and must come first before any other thing like a relationship. We ladies must learn to put career first before, during and after a relationship if you want what is best for you

plavic:


You wouldn't say that if you were 40,with a job worth millions and without husband nor children.

Oma307:
let me use this opportunity to invite vampireeM into this matter

please are we acquainted??

Me I want to have both. Yes marriage and career can work hand in hand. its best to marry an understanding partner who shares the same values/aspiration as you in order to help have a balance esp relationship/family... but when it comes to decisions, family first before career.
When it comes to bf/gf relationship it depends on the level of commitment.

Newbeginnings:
Talk2bella ..... Please who are you?

Timbuktou:
Well, it would depend on what type of relationship it is. If its just a dating relationship, then I'd advise that career be chosen, dates are a dime a dozen, and breakups could occur. If it's a marriage relationship, however, family comes first.

Talk2Bella, I would also advise you to get someone who loves you now while you're coming up in the world. When your success can no longer be hidden, you'll look back on the times when you could vouch for some guy's true intentions but blew him off because you wanted to "build a career". If you haven't found such a person thats quite different, but closing out everybody because of career development will come back to bite you in the ass. Of course, assuming you have plans to settle and have a family in the future. Otherwise, fire away, nuttin do you.

Talk2Bella:


Bella

nanauju:
Happy birthday to me peeps

DarkRebel101:
Working with the assumption that the relationship has culminated in the knot of Holy Matrimony: I would not and cannot throw away my career for a relationship, especially if the reasons that necessitate my forfeiture are of the facile variety: like a neurotic wife entertaining hairline cracks of doubt as regards my faithfulness to her -- assuming my line of work involves a lot of contact with members of the opposite sex --, and putting the squeeze on me to give up the job in order to burst the suspension-of-suspicion-bubble that she is trapped in.

Bottom line, I would never renege on my career to placate the vagaries of my significant other. That would only make me the proverbial reed which bends in humble servility to the north wind bearing the wishes, whims and caprices of others.

...

But, in extremis and in dire straits, in case scenarios when the boat is adrift on rough waters and things are beginning to fall apart, only then would I sacrifice and give up my job for the sake of the relationship and in fulfilment of my marital vows: "in health and in sickness; for better or for worse".

Say, by an ill stroke of fate, my wife became paraplegic and can no longer make use of her limbs, or say my child suffered a macabre experience that begs for my undivided attention and presence, then yay, I would happily be that quisling who betrayed his career for thirty pieces of silver.

[...]

Talk2bella, conflict of interests are a commonplace in relationships, but I have seen couples by dint of determination, by way of compromise; by the laudable virtues of selflessness and large-spritedness; by sacrifice and by trust, worked hand in glove in ensuring that they stay well above water level.

After much rigour of observation, I think Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva could be said to be appropriate byspels and the ne plus ultra of a couple who knows how to compromise.

Talk2Bella:

Valid points you have made their, its mostly about trust and understanding but today's relationships are soaked in envy, jealousy and competition of who should be the head and also the tail.

As for Olu and Joke, they have their issues also, they show the public what they need to see and not what's really going on in their home, and they both being in the same line of career helps

DarkRebel101:


There are no heads or tails in relationships, there are only equals. My belief anyway.

Bible-thumping enthusiasts are perennially on the qui vive to adduce a grab bag of scriptural verses to shore up their assertions that men are the head and women should submit unconditionally, but it never trips their analytic red flags that the Bible never fell like manna from Heaven, and was matter-of-factly written by flawed men, men like you and I , and in an era where male chauvinism was the norm in practice.
Let us not even talk about the individual cognitive biases that must manifested in the writing of the Holy Book.

Men being seen as the heads and women as lower in rank is the brainchild of societal conventions and social conditioning, and not as a result of some preternatural mandate from the lips of the Most High.

...

Of course, we do not know what happens behind the curtains of their private home, and they have in fact had some skirmishes in the past, but if we extrapolate from their "body language" in public and the longevity of their marriage, we could reason by induction that they have found a way to keep the wheels of their marriage rolling smoothly.

MzMayD:
Career first......



Relationship can come later