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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? (94527 Views)
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Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 7:42pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
AbdelKabir: Carrying and kissing the bride in the full glare of other men and women. [Yep, but to follow the sunnah, after the contract, they should be a waleemah, where people will be invited, to eat and celebrate with you..... This traditional wedding is what will be considered the waleemah, so avoiding it wouldn't go too well, rather trying as much as possible this avoid the haram in it would be better *I think*... The Waleemah doesnt have to be a traditional wedding. My idea of the waleemah is segregated dinner/lunch where the women have a section to eat, dance and discuss. The men can eat and discuss as well. The waleemah is not an obligation and if doesn't have to invlove sin especially if it can be avoided. I think it will be better to avoid in and start the marriage foundation on goddness especially as it is not an obligation. Now regarding the pictures, I think its better to inform ppl that phones won't be allowed in the venue so that way no one can take pics. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:06pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
snapscore: Oh! You meant this..... This is can(should) be avoided too.... The Waleemah doesnt have to be a traditional wedding. My idea of the waleemah is segregated dinner/lunch where the women have a section to eat, dance and discuss. The men can eat and discuss as well. The waleemah is not an obligation and if doesn't have to invlove sin especially if it can be avoided. I think it will be better to avoid in and start the marriage foundation on goddness especially as it is not an obligation. Yep, we are kinda saying the same, when we avoid everything haraam, it becomes what you saying, after the contract, the couple can just prepare food and invite some people to eat and thats also a waleemah... Now regarding the pictures, I think its better to inform ppl that phones won't be allowed in the venue so that way no one can take pics. And you think people won't come with it? BTW I thought you were of the opinion that if any part of the body is missing in the picture, then its no longer a picture? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:19pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:okay. I think opening the door for a traditonal wedding means opening the door for parental and societal pressure and influence. Its much easier to say, me and my wife have decided not to do trad wedding, give a billion exuses and move on, than saying we will do it but avoid music, free mixing, prostration and kneeling, kissing etc. Yep, we are kinda saying the same, when we avoid everything haraam, it becomes what you saying, after the contract, the couple can just prepare food and invite some people to eat and thats also a waleemah... Okay BTW I thought you were of the opinion that if any part of the body is missing in the picture, then its no longer a picture? Yes I do(not just any part of the body but in a way that the person cannot exist in real life. Like for example part of the head not being included or head and shoulder. I am more comfortable with part of the head not being included ). That being mentioned, I rarely take pics with people especially on a day when women will be uncovered. Now back to the topic, today my friend was telling me about a wedding she attended last night where the women were told and made to drop their phones before entering and it was made known prior to the day. I thought it would be helpful to suggest that here just in case it might be beneficial. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:31pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
snapscore: True.....but that doesn't mean you can't Cook for people to eat atleast to help celebrate your new status.....and a way of announcing that you are married... Yes I do(not just any part of the body but in a way that the person cannot exist in real life. Like for example part of the head not being included or head and shoulder. I am more comfortable with part of the head not being included ). Good.... That being mentioned, I rarely take pics with people especially on a day when women will be uncovered. OK.... Now back to the topic, today my friend was telling me about a wedding she attended last night where the women were told and made to drop their phones Really? Where is that? Definitely nor Nigeria... before entering and it was made known prior to the day. I thought it would be helpful to suggest that here just in case it might be beneficial. Thanks for the suggestion, I've never thought of this before... 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:35pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
AbdelKabir: Yeah. That's the segregated dinner/lunch taking the place of traditional wedding. Really? Where is that? Definitely nor Nigeria...I have heard about this being done in Nigeria. I think all you need is to be strict, have really good bouncers and not pick calls when people are calling to complain. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:47pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
snapscore: Toor.... I have heard about this being done in Nigeria. I think all you need is to be strict, have really good bouncers and not pick calls when people are calling to complain. Beinh strict to outsiders is pretty easy, but its not really easy with close relatives especially when your own parents don't buy the idea.....perhaps because they don't understand the sunnah.... |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:52pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
AbdelKabir: I agree which is why its easier if the couples agree together. We can always try to explain amd ask Allah to grant them understanding. After that I doubt there is much that can be done. It is important to understand thay there is no obidience if it invloves disobedience to Allah. Parents might be angry for a while but it won't last long usually especially if you show them love and care afterwards. This is another reason why I think its much easier to avoid the whole thing all together. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 8:53pm On Apr 08, 2017 |
The topic is still open for discussions from other contributors. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 3:57am On Apr 09, 2017 |
snapscore: The most important thing is the couples should have the same ideology on the matter......else there will be problems... In our times, shaytaan with the permission of Allaah has made the haraam look normal and halal look odd.... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by onegig(m): 7:53pm On Apr 10, 2017 |
Nose rings or piercing is a big turn off. As for not taking pictures or not allowing it during a weddimg procession. Personally i believe that's a bit on the extreme side of things. I understand if you want something reserved and all those ish but like seriously. ..not a single image taken? Hmm. Question is who would venerate a wedding pic or bow down to and ascribe to worship a wedding pic? Who? You aren't hanging it around the house, printing it on clothes for prayers or the likes. The hadith on images is even open to debate but It's not something i would want to even discuss as i am not really cast out for such discussion as of now. 3 Likes |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by tintingz(m): 9:51pm On Apr 10, 2017 |
onegig:Thank you for the bolded. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 12:07pm On Apr 11, 2017 |
STOLEN Someone once said, stop looking for Mr/Mrs right, look for mr/mrs wrong and drag the idiot(sorry for that word) to the right.. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by busar(m): 4:37pm On Apr 11, 2017 |
It begins with you s w |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 5:01pm On Apr 11, 2017 |
Lol...already making plans... Very soon you'll be invited insha Allaah |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by busar(m): 6:27pm On Apr 11, 2017 |
May Allah make it easy...... Finally, rice is loading..... ... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 6:31pm On Apr 11, 2017 |
Lol.....zobo(with ginger) and cabin biscuit loading.... |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 7:25pm On Apr 11, 2017 |
....This made me laughed... 2 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by busar(m): 6:33am On Apr 12, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:SMHFY.... Kuku add kulikuli too 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 6:39am On Apr 12, 2017 |
busar: You know, this is a good idea.....kuli alata would be perfect, we will also buy bags of garri ijebu, that one that "slaps" the cheeks.... Pipu will drink taya that day... |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by busar(m): 7:49am On Apr 12, 2017 |
NO GAMBLING IN MARRIAGE. . Many people think that simply because the famous hadith mentions "deen", so every muslim is now a marriage material! If that was the case, then there would be no need for istikharah and istisharah anymore, we'll just marry just anyone who prays facing the ka'bah, simple. . HELLO, As much as all that glitters is not gold, all that's fade is not also advisable to be purchased, a faded item does more harm than good. If a man has been practicing sunnah for 5years and he still says: "Astanga-fruullah" Is that a sign of a serious person who is willing to learn? Such is an unserious students of knowledge and it shows he is far away from the scholars and gatherings of knowledge. . Don't think that people will suddenly improve after marriage, the way people are before marriage is the way they will be after marriage, nothing changes overnight, except in extremely few cases. Do not take that risk. . Imran bin hittan was a scholar among the tabi'een, he was very eloquent and there is no person he admonishes except that the person would embrace islam. So he wanted to marry his cousin sister who was one of the khawarij, so that he will change her to the sunnah, but when they got married, she was the one who changed him and imran became a khawarij and later became the amir of the khawarij of their time. (Siyaaru alaamin nubalaa). . This is what we are saying, if a sister promises you that she would start wearing hijab after marriage, do not take the risk, let her start wearing it first out of the fear of Allah not for your sake, before you marry her. If a brother tells you he will stop partying or living a gangster life after marriage, don't accept his proposal, until you see the changes in him, even at that, do your istikharah, it maybe that he is only pretending for a shortwhile. . There is no management in marriage, do not marry anyone out of pity or out of mere hopes that they would change. This is why we see some niqabites married to niggas today, some brothers are married to slay babes today. You don't have the unseen knowledge, it may turn out positive or negative, the risk is not worth taking, marry a man who is better than you not worse than you. . Sheik uthaymeen said, People do say: "I will marry a woman who is not religious, perhaps Allah will guide her through me" We say: you have no knowledge of the future, it may be that you'll marry her hoping that Allah will guide her through you but she would rather change you to her wayward lifestyle (Sharh al mumti, kitabun nikah, 14) . When we buy fruits, we choose the best, when we buy clothes, we go for the best, when we cook, we prepare it well, when we take drugs, we go for the best, when we marry, we even go for blood test so that we don't endanger the health of our kids, but when it comes to religious commitment and aqeedah, we marry anyhow. We go for blood test but we don't examine the aqeedah of the person. Marriage is a lifetime contract and your partner will either mar you or make you, so do not go for anything less, there is no management in marriage. Copied |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 1:49pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
^^ Strongly agree. |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 4:02pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
What are your views on differences in financial status between couples. For example if a man is pious but extremly poor and the lady is from a rich home ( and vice versa), how will that affect the marriage? |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 4:06pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
I used to think that financial status isn't that important because they can always help each other and wealth is from Allah. There are also hadith that speak on picking piety over wealth. However, I have come to realize that finacial status plays alot more than just being able to afford and buy things. For example, it probably played a role in how they were raised and their prospective on life and it could affect their expectations of their spouse. Imagine a case where a woman who is used to her high standard of living marrying a man who is not that wealthy, therfore she finds it difficult to adapt and they start having arguments because of it. 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 4:57pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
busar:With Asun, eja panla, eja aro, egbin.... Wetin again? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 5:05pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
Demmzy15: No be only egbin na dirty......igbin 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 5:06pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:It has do woo 1 Like |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 5:08pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
Demmzy15: Gerarahia 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Demmzy15(m): 5:14pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
AbdelKabir:Go and marry!! |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
Demmzy15: No worry na, I'll soon leave the aponhood(bachelor life)... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 5:36pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
>: ( |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Coccoh(f): 5:46pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
snapscore: Extremely poor |
Re: Muslim Singles: Why Are You Not Married? by Nobody: 5:49pm On Apr 12, 2017 |
Coccoh: Okay maybe just poor but it is possible for a man to be extremely poor. Do share your views sis. |
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