My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. - Family (9) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. (64703 Views)
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| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by shumuel(m): 10:55pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Omotayor123:Amen, Thanks and God bless you too Ma ![]() |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Jahblessme: 10:56pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
I don't really understand you OP. Your wife asked for cash which you don't want to give at this point,she said she would get a loan and asks for your support you refused and told her you wouldn't even lend moral support.Then she had a slip of tongue or you misheard her saying B J and you started calling her a wh ore? Then you guys are now planning to divorce and she's not begging as you xpected.I don't really get it. Why did you get overtly suspicious because she said BJ? Have you been suspicious of her before then or are you also cheating and hypervigilant? People who cheat are usually paranoid.Plus you have no evidence that's the worst part so no leg to stand on except instinct- which may be right or wrong. 1. No matter what,name calling isn't on.how can you call your wife a who re so your kids are children of a who re and you are the husband of a who re.People who namecall are uncouth-sorey to say. 2. You have good reason not to give her the cash,you could've supported her to go out and get a loan and see how it feels to lose cash and learn lessons from there There's obviously no love here as she's happy to leave you without batting an eye and I'm pretty sure that's hitting your ego hard and annoying you further.The babe no get your time at all. However,if she was cheating,your lack of evidence will make her smarter and she will never be caught again.You have to learn to control your emotions Oga. I also hope your hands are clean cos the way you've jumped to cheating accusation is really suspicious. If you are an innocent man,sorry.if you are not ,now is the time to re-evaluate and work harder at your marriage if you are interested cos your marriage is still too young and there's still loads of time to get to know each other better. Either that or you both move on. Good luck. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by klexycole(m): 11:02pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Arijude:Honestly, he married out of pressure/pity. I pray God reshape his home. ![]() |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by deavicky(m): 11:03pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:if u really consider the "face of her parents"(shame) as a pastor, u might as well don't think of divorce |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by shumuel(m): 11:04pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Omotayor123:Amen, Thanks and God bless you too Ma ![]() |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by augustine: 11:04pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Hmmn. Are you sure that the child from that pregnancy is your? |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by klexycole(m): 11:05pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
bamidelee:It's not only the issue of courtship here, but the true reflection of who she is. ![]() |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by ChiefSweetus: 11:05pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Hehehehe. Love love LOVE how hoës defend their own 100% of the time. If a man is onto their hoeish shenanigans, they start accusing him of being what? INSECURE. ![]() Chai! Umu nwoke atago afufu shaaa! Men have really suffered! Baba, I feel your pain, I'm not here to advice you, but i can help you tell several fooolZ on this thread to shut the entire fück up! Ndi igbo si na mbelede nyili dike, mana mbelede ka eji ama dike (adversity overwhelm the warrior, but it is overcoming adversity they use to know a true warrior). Stay strong bros. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by ladykolly(f): 11:07pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Cheatin wife!!! I would ask u dis simple question hv u eva cheated on ha,if yes, do 4give ha nd if no stil do 4give ha,,,der should b room for repentance nd 4give.confront ha nd c if she is rily sorry of ha actions |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by ladykolly(f): 11:08pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Cheatin wife!!! I would ask u dis simple question hv u eva cheated on ha,if yes, do 4give ha nd if no stil do 4give ha,,,der should b room for repentance nd 4give.confront ha nd c if she is rily sorry of ha actions. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by VeeVeeMyLuv(f): 11:11pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
djfiki:brilliant on point! bulls eye! |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Burgerlomo: 11:11pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
CzarChris:Epele oo Mr retired street, Mr Badoo's neh the second ![]() |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Izen: 11:14pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Err.....I'm isolating my comment to this particular reply. Actually, when you gift someone something, you buy it in their name if it is truly a gift. E.g. when my parents bought me a laptop, they did so in my name. If the giftee doesn't have full authority over the item, then it is something that can be taken back hence not a gift. Now I'm about to sell the said laptop and I don't have to take permission from them to do that because it was bought in my name. So in this case your wife is actually right only that she should have thanked you sincerely first. Just note this in case of next time. On a side note: it was very WRONG of you to call your wife a hoe without any concrete evidence. There's no justification you come up with that will make it right. But why is it that the first insult Nigerian men have for women is HOE? And to your wife for that matter. It's a word you can never take back. Haba. Bridle your tongue man. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by TayoT: 11:17pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Wow, this is the root cause. You would have rejected the offer. But that is past now. Staying happy is paramount. Ask her stylishly to confess maybe you may forgive her, to have concrete evidence. Secure your kids and let her go. That shame your parents were trying to avoid is now in a worse form. We should never be pressured into marriage under any guise. Stay strong bro. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Adecks01(m): 11:17pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:my dear please !please! Please! I am begging you with the name of God to apologise to your wife for three reasons 1.thinking that she's ungrateful"your marriage is not suppose to be "parasitism" but "mutualism " you guyz suppose to share things together so is not being ungrateful when she said besides you spent less than 2million for the last shop I am sure you didn't tell her grand total expenditure or she forgot but not ungrateful.if one is being ungrateful it's you-gore not knowing the value of what you have- 2,for calling her names"if you truely love your wife,you'll have ask her why she is making secret calls instead of your baseless assumption.calling your own wife a "hoe" is wrong of you.you even threaten to divorce her. 3.Traumatizing her" please this is the most serious aspect.relive your wife from the physical,physichological,emotional and even spiritual trauma. It is Harmful to both her health and spirituality and it my result to suicide. PLEASE IF NOT FOR HER SAKE BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE LOVE YOU ONES SHARE AND THE FRUIT OF THE RIPE LOVE (CHILDREN). GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU GRANT MY REQUEST,GOD WILL ALSO GRANT YOURS. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Bibors(m): 11:20pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Bros, there is really no hard and fast rule to marriage just go ahead with whatever rocks your boat and ensure you don't regret any action you take now like you have a bit of regret of what happened at 27. But if I am to give you a bit of advice, then consider the following. 1. People rarely change, so don't expect any change from her and don't expect too much. 2. If you divorce or separate, what atmosphere will your kids grow in?. This leads to generational reoccurring errors and it's in your power to avoid that now. 3. Never talk like a woman to a woman, by accusing without evidence even when you are 100% sure your instincts are right. 4. If you can't get yourself to relax this situation, then just act normal and don't talk about this again except she brings it up in which case you will have to say that the situation is behind you. 5. Don't make her leave the home but if she decides to leave , allow her. 6. Remember you are not also flawless and you probably also do your outside runs. This is the reality of the world we live in now. Forget some male gra gra wey we dey do and consider the kids. 7. Most sweet homes/ couple wey you dey see, have conquered infidelity and moved on. 8. This is the point your marriage will either break or be better. Make the choice to make it better. The next woman may probably be worse. Whatever decision you take , it's still you who will enjoy the outcome or regret it. I have had similar situations in the past but I can boldly say now that my marriage is the best coz I forget the past and press on to what is ahead. Life is too short to carry a burden that a positive attitude can knock out. Cheers. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 11:20pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Sir. With all said and done... Kudos to everyone here. Adam500hr marriage is not bed of roses alone, there is a time to feel stressed. First, I most say you have made a serious mistake by calling your WIFE a name. She's your half and from the story you gave us there are potholes left to be smoothen, when she demanded for money to get a new store and also she told you, it is an opportunity to rent such space and from your words the present business is not yielding. Sir, have you ever call your wife to analyzed the business and see how well or bad the business is doing plus device a possible means to get things to be better? Secondly, you've negate the importance of communication in marriage, from what you've said you are not a good communicator sorry to say but it is the truth, our inaction or lack of constructive communication destroys healthy relationship or marriage. If you've invested quality time to share ideas and Rob minds or brainstorm properly before you established your wife you (both of you) would have had a set objective and modus operandi for the business and the communication would have been the key to successfully love. Thirdly, you are not a good friend with each other, friendship with your wife makes things easier and to confide in each other would be a problems, she want a new space you decline because the business is yet to materialized shows your commitment level is questionable. You notice your sex life is not as before, sit her down, pet her, apologies to her...... One golden principle of marriage is for the man to learn to say "I am sorry" even when you are not wrong to your wife. There life would be easier sir. Fourthly, never invite third party into your marriage when you've not explore all other options. Please go back to your wife and apologies to her for calling her name. Let her know you're not a quitter and the marriage must become a success.. You're just facing a little trial now... It will pass. About the "Blow Jobs" sir cheat happens oo.... Every family possess their own secret and they protect each other at all cost, that's how to building an empire. Don't feed your mind with wrong thought about your wife not until you've tried all available options to make things works. Divorce is not an accolades or national honour not write your name for it. Trust could be scattered for real but endurance makes life goods on. We will not make your decision for you. It is yours to make. Your marriage will work and your family will excel. Work it out sir. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by sniper77(m): 11:24pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:Take your kids to a reputable hospital and conduct a DNA test. Once that hurdle is cleared you can now plan on how to clear the next hurdle. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by macaranta(m): 11:25pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Well your story really didn't add up, however if she's decided to leave there's really nothing more you can do... |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by princessayesha(f): 11:27pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Snipes009:Why do u think I should remove it? Thats exactly how i want it to look ![]() |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by pepperniks: 11:28pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
she is seeing someone |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by pepperniks: 11:32pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
adam500hr:leave the marriage |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by sidonlook: 11:32pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
sebod:You spoke my mind. It is suspicious but never mind because it is your responsibility as the man to keep your house together. Bye her gift and try to bring her back home psychologically. You need to talk to her with sense of a man. I am touched because it has happened to me, but your Wife's seems terrible. You need GOD right now more than before. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by PresidentBuhari: 11:34pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
If she doesn't change position her on the baby mama lane, firstly find a decent/better woman to take her place and move on. She is the one to lose. adam500hr: |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by jamesbridget13(f): 11:36pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
How old is ur marriage sir if I may ask. N yes sir ur wife is seeing someone. May be an ex or a new guy. It might not be sexual yet but she is sure seeing someone. Hmmmmm ur wife is so ungrateful. Make she thank God for where she dey . Op I don't like dat u called her a "hoe" its bad op. What we are all wrong abt her. It ll hurt so bad. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 11:39pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
dangotesmummy:wat abt d person weh use her mouth shout Mouth Action? |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 11:43pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
cruchenuti:please help me with d app |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 11:45pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
NnamdiiKanu:And it takes a brainless goat to know another one. You can relay your message without the insults, you know. It only makes you look immature. Cheers. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 11:46pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
YelloweWest:I agree. lol |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by Nobody: 11:49pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
beautiful232:So u finally changed d pic. Maybe wen we get married,we will undstnd beta. |
| Re: My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. by PeacenLove2: 11:56pm On Apr 30, 2017 |
Op, you seemed to have made up your mind on what you want to do. You just want people here to validate your decision based on the weak evidence you have. Brother, I'm sorry to tell you that evidence is very weak and it cries narcissistic tendencies on your part. You obviously don't trust your wife. You didn't really know her well like you said before you married her, you probably believed she trapped you with pregnancy, another idiotic excuse. I apologize for that word idiot, it's just what it is. If you don't see a woman being the mother of your kids, not ready to be a father, maybe you shouldn't be having sex with her in the first place. We blame the women but not the men. Some men handle their homes as the real Alpha, being the sole provider even if their wives makes good income. It seems you are one of these men and your wife is so settled with that idea, having the expectations that you will always provide for her needs. We don't know your financial status and your lifestyle but this sense of entitlements as you call it, even if true should have been managed better. You bring your wife, your home to social media where it crawling with misfits and expect to get good advice. You came searching for whips and that you got. Brother, have a rethink. I don't know you and your madam but you have children to protect. Go and straighten your affairs. Sit down with your wife, have that heart to heart again without pretence. Let both parties be sincere and voice out their expectations, see how to meet halfway on issues where interests clash. Let her know your stance on adultery very well just so she knows. Lastly, please let love win. Try again and again. Pray together and support each other. You are family. That's your family, man. Treasure it. |
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