₦airaland Forum

It's awesome. That's women for you; they are full of frustrations.

Titilayooni:
thank you jare,foolish advice from mummy GO,some christians are going tru this scenarios in their homes and they have forgotten no marriage in heaven,so why can't one enjoy your marriage here on earth. So many marriages,romance has flown away.. God pls make me become a virtuous woman.

By learning from others mistake, building relationship based on understanding and not allowing your decision to be the steering

Lord, please give me the strength to bear the challenges that come with marriage. Help me to stay faithful to my wife, and above all, help me to understand your word so I me and my wife can have a balance marriage, sex and spiritual wise. Amen.

Benbisco:
Support her ke. When he dey vex say wetin she no gree give am upon all the begging somebody don come chop am for free, beat her join self.

Beat her upon the rape... Taah.. You're heartless.. She was wrong.. But... She's human.. Satan creeped in to make matters worse.. But it's not her fault.. She was misled and obviously ignorant..

akintho:
support what na? the lady who angrily left her matrimonial home while husband was still in pain?..ladies are selfish mehn

He made her leave.. With those hurtful words.. She was just giving him space..

She wasn't selfish.. She was doing what she thought was good for her family.. I don't blame her at all.. She's a victim of ignorance.. She tried on her part..

Op God bless you for this enlighening story.

borntoexcel2000:
PART TWO (Battle 2)


I could not believe my eyes and I immediately sent him a text saying,
” Where are you? Why wont you come home?”
His reply made me burst into tears. ”Please ask the holy spirit to reveal it to you in prayer”.
My marriage is in trouble.

lol...see the epic reply from the husband

Benbisco:
Infact , you deserve an award for your observations.

You forgot to add snake, pre-wedding shoot and Jumoke.

if I add snake, somebody will get annoyed,

Amen.

BlackAfrican:
Lord, please give me the strength to bear the challenges that come with marriage. Help me to stay faithful to my wife, and above all, help me to understand your word so I me and my wife can have a balance marriage, sex and spiritual wise. Amen.

Jodha:
Beat her upon the rape... Taah.. You're heartless.. She was wrong.. But... She's human.. Satan creeped in to make matters worse.. But it's not her fault.. She was misled and obviously ignorant..

Aunty, biko I am not heartless and I did not say "beat her upon the rape" what I wrote and meant was the robbers "beat her join the rape", not that her husband should "beat her upon the rape".

Thanks to God

Wow, wonderful comments from all, am really impressed. Expecting more comments, as I have also learnt enough from these beautiful comments, and am still learning. Thanks

Titilayooni:
GOd bless you Op,I REALLY learnt a lot fron this story,it just made me to understand that marriage is not a bed of roses,you need wisdom to be successful in that school. As for the couple,its a step by step healing process,the wife has more to do than the husband..a woman that can be submissive and respectful to her husband shouldn't think abt marriage. GOd will bless their home,the devil isn't happy when a home is filled with joy,they won't allow that..

Thanks and may we not be victim of the above as explained in the story

I know some gals will support the gal..birds of the same feather.. It is because of things like this that baby mama day reign now..it is well

The mouth shouldn't be faster than the head which controls it but in this case, Lola has acted so particularly in Part 8 where she's still arguing before her mum shut her up. You see, when you get to the courts and find out how silly issues split marriages, you would think it's a Nollywood script.

Communication, trust and respect are the key ingredients to any relationship. If one of them is missing, the others will crumble. They all work together.

Lola is stubborn about her ideas as she has forgotten that it's not just about her alone, there are two people involved. She did not communicate well with him or respect his needs, left him angered and that's where the distrust crept in. People have egos and Kenny played out some shakara moves just to get attention and this is where a lot get it wrong. Sometimes, people do not mean to take an action but the ego in us does not want to belittle us, hence we wait for the other party to beg us.

Once a third party is saying your spouse is the problem without talking to the other party, then such person is not a neutrally reliable party to discuss issues with. The 'Mummy' talking about the devil in Kenny is really divisive and this is where our people need to apply common sense in the midst of nonsensical ideas.

I know Islam does not permit a woman to fast voluntarily except with her husband's permission but here, Kenny went extreme with this. In fact, a discussion between them will have solved this - in just 5 months, you already made a decision to fast in the next 3 months (100 days) Common! Don't make a monster out of a mommy's boy! This decision to go spiritual ought to be mutual otherwise, one party sees the other as an obstacle.

So, to summarily execute this, communicate effectively to earn the trust and respect of your partner. Your body language (and actions) also communicates to the other party how much trust and respect they'll invest in you. Who anger epp?

Mustay:
Communication, trust and respect are the key ingredients to any relationship. If one of them is missing, the others will crumble. They all work together.



Communicate effectively to earn the trust and respect of your partner. Your body language (and actions) also communicates to the other party how much trust and respect they'll invest in you. Who anger epp?

Thanks a lot

borntoexcel2000:
​PART 8
After a whole month of daily calls to Kenny with no response, I finally gave up. I knew my marriage was over. I had gone through the full cycle from tears to pain in my heart to anger to being just blank. I have finally resigned myself to fate. Even the strength to pray had left me. I have tried interpreting Kenny’s silence in different ways but my conclusion was that he just didn’t love me enough to fight for us. I sent him different text messages and not once did he humour me and respond. I just could not understand why a man will be silent after hearing his wife was raped.
As always my mum walked into my bedroom that Friday afternoon once again to ask what happened between my husband and I. She had soon figured out something was wrong but I always refused to tell her.
”Lola, you know what? Your father and I have tried. You have stayed in our house for over a month and we have been caring. You can’t keep saying there is nothing wrong when I have been married for thirty five years and I know more than you”
”Mum, please I don’t have the strength to argue”.
”Okay then, your father and I have decided you can’t live here anymore. We will not harbour a married woman in our home. Since you and your husband don’t respect us enough to seek for advice. Please go back to him or wherever you want but you cannot stay under my roof”.
Still shocked at what she was saying, ”Mum?”
”Daughter!!! Yes?”
I finally relented. I didn’t even have a plan B.” Mum, Kenny and I have serious problems. Our marriage is not even up to a year and we don’t even know how to move forward”.
”Okay tell me everything”.
So I sat for over an hour and told my mum every single detail from my wedding night to the day I left Kenny’s house. Surprisingly, my mum did not interrupt or blow up at me. I expected her to start screaming but her calmness amazed me.
”Heeeeeeee Omolola, O ti ba ye je ( you have spoilt the world)” She said in Yoruba language when I was finally done.
”Mummy haba, what did I do wrong? How can Kenny just abandon me here? His love is fleeting mum, it can’t even stand the test of time”. I said with deep anger and disappointment.
”hmmmmm, first of all, you are changing your church. The kind of pastor’s wife that will give you such advise is not who you should be listening to. Why didn’t you call me? Why did you go to an outsider?”
”Mum, you are the one that said I should keep our matters private”.
”Not when it is crumbling my dear, we all need help once in a while”.
”Okay mum, what do we do now? Do you think there is any chance for Kenny and I”.
”Of course, your father and I have had greater battles that we have overcome. Marriage is filled with battles, we fight, win, conquer and fight another day. We never give up. It only ends the day you stop fighting for it. Lola, you keep fighting till you conquer. There is no end. You made some terrible decisions and took some wrong steps”.
”Mum, what about Kenny? He took a lot of wrong steps too”.
”Yes, I will face Kenny but I need to talk to you first. I told you not to kill yourself over not having a child yet. It will come. You shouldn’t have fasted and deprived your husband without his full consent. Moreso, you should have given him his marital rights between 6pm when you break your fast and midnight when the next day starts. You shouldn’t have run from your home without his consent and come hide here. To tell you the truth, it will take God for Kenny to be able to sleep with you again. Both of you, your actions have spoilt a lot of things. This matter should not have generated to this level. First thing tomorrow morning, I am going back to Abuja with you, we are going to see your husband”

True to her word, by 11 am on Saturday, which was the next day, we had arrived my house. As soon as I saw Kenny’s car parked in the compound, my heart started beating fast. I wished he was not home even though mum had called earlier and told him she was coming to see him. He opened the door as soon as we were approaching and I assumed he had seen us through the window and prostrated, greeting my mum in yoruba language. Kenny totally ignored me and my mum just smiled at us. I left them in the sitting room and went into the room. Everything was just as I left it and my investigation as to whether somebody else had been living with him came up empty. I heard my mum call me from the living room and I quickly dropped my bag and went back to join them.
”Mummy, Lola does not want to be married. In less than a year of marriage she has shown blatant disregard and disrespect both for me and this home and I am sick of it. Does she think if it was another man, he won’t have started womanizing by now? I stayed faithful even when she refused to be faithful to our marriage vows”. Kenny said with so much anger.
”Please don’t threaten us with tales of unfaithfulness. So you want an award because you didn’t cheat? I said.
”Keep your mouth shut Lola, just shut up” my mum shouted while Kenny just shook his head. I instantly felt remorseful.
I listened as my mum and Kenny started talking. I truly listened to his hurts and pains as he opened up to my mum and for the first time I understood the gravity of where we were. By the time they started talking about the rape incident, Kenny shed tears. He just kept quiet while tears fell from his eyes and I was broken for both of us.
”Mummy, I warned Lola, I warned her not to go. I haven’t been able to get that image out of my head ever since Daddy told me. Where do we start from? She refused to sleep with me all in the name of prayers and freely gave it to a thief?”
”Kenny, don’t say she freely gave it. We all still feel the pains of that night most especially your wife. The pain she is still in as a result of that incident is great. She needs a lot of time to heal”. My mum said.
”I warned her, I warned her mummy” Kenny insisted.
My mum began to talk to Kenny about us communicating better, about understanding each other and being quick to forgive. She spoke and fear gripped my heart as I looked at Kenny’s face.
After so much advise from mum, Kenny began to calm down.
”Both of you need to pray, be patient and communicate” mum said again.
”Mummy, truth be told, I am not sure if this marriage still exists. I don’t even know where to start with Lola” Kenny said.
”You both start with forgiving each other and then take it one step at a time. You start with conversations, heart to heart ones, share your pains and fears and with time the intimacy will come and with time you will heal”.
”Okay mummy, thank you ma.” Kenny said.
About an hour later, mum left our home in a cab, headed to the airport for her flight back home. She refused to stay the night despite all our pleas. As soon as she left, I turned to Kenny to apologize.
”Baby, I am sorry”.I said to Kenny as he went back to sit on the sofa and I sat beside him.
He turned to me, ”Omololami, I am sorry too, I am sorry I wasn’t with you during this painful period. Truth is, I don’t even know if we can fix this”.
”We will babe”, I said with renewed confidence, ”we will, one day at a time”.
THE END!!!

OP can I copy this?

chigoziri2403:
OP can I copy this?

Sure, you can

borntoexcel2000:
Sure, you can

and post it on facebook?

chigoziri2403:
and post it on facebook?

Do as it pleases you bro

borntoexcel2000:
Do as it pleases you bro

thanks, can I quote you as the author?

This is a nice story but OP, you should have given credit to the writer.
The writer is my friend on Facebook and she, yes she wrote this last year.
Don't claim what's not urs. Ok?
If u take this the wrong way, I'll post screenshots of her posts.
Smh

chigoziri2403:
thanks, can I quote you as the author?

OP isn't the author.
The author is a girl sef...
I know cos I read it since October last year.
But even if she isn't, I'm very sure OP isn't.
Story wey don finish since na hin dey give pple suspense...smh.
Pple be stealing people's works since the days of Adam.
If u need the proof, I'll give u her Facebook account name (after I seek her consent of course)

SpeedndAccuracy:
OP isn't the author.
The author is a girl sef...
I know cos I read it since October last year.
But even if she isn't, I'm very sure OP isn't.
Story wey don finish since na hin dey give pple suspense...smh.
Pple be stealing people's works since the days of Adam.
If u need the proof, I'll give u her Facebook account name (after I seek her consent of course)

am waiting please

Op nice one......keep it up

borntoexcel2000:
Dedicated this thread to every active member of this forum, especially those who are great readers. Cheers

Credit goes to dayilcletus.

Did you read this on the first page, for those claiming I took credit? I saw it somewhere and quoted the name of the person who posted it? Sometimes I wonder how we Nigerians think??

SpeedndAccuracy:
OP isn't the author.
The author is a girl sef...
I know cos I read it since October last year.
But even if she isn't, I'm very sure OP isn't.
Story wey don finish since na hin dey give pple suspense...smh.
Pple be stealing people's works since the days of Adam.
If u need the proof, I'll give u her Facebook account name (after I seek her consent of course)

I wonder how you reason.... anyway read always before you adjudged issues

borntoexcel2000. God bless you with more wisdom. I really enjoyed your work. please how can I be get copies of some of your work as I love it.

That you are fasting does not mean you should deny your husband sex,when breaking your fast take out time to be with your husband,that way you will be causing your prayers and fasting to become even more fruitful and effective

borntoexcel2000:
Did you read this on the first page, for those claiming I took credit? I saw it somewhere and quoted the name of the person who posted it? Sometimes I wonder how we Nigerians think??

The wonders of the "modify" button.

That sure wasn't there before...

Not gonna abuse you...

Just conquer urself bro...

Be good.

PS: if indeed it was an oversight on my part, I'm sorry.

SpeedndAccuracy:
The wonders of the "modify" button.

That sure wasn't there before...

Not gonna abuse you...

Just conquer urself bro...

Be good.

PS: if indeed it was an oversight on my part, I'm sorry.

I won't say more words, but you are amazed me, you think I will modify my post to gain points Am bigger than that bro, and I have integrity. It is well

borntoexcel2000:
Dedicated this thread to every active member of this forum, especially those who are great readers. Cheers

Credit goes to dayilcletus.

Found this series interesting and thought of sharing in the next 8 days. Pray it will bless you.

*PART ONE*

As soon as I cleared out the dinner table, I went into the bedroom, not bothering to say goodnight to Kenny in the living room. I knew he was going to be coming to bed soon enough. I needed him to think I was fast asleep by the time he came to bed. I quickly got into the bathroom and had a quick shower before climbing into bed. I made sure I put on my long pyjamas so there was no way he could have easy access to my body. About an hour later when I heard him climb into bed and turn the other way, I finally let out the breath I was holding. I managed to escape the sex tonight.
By the time I woke up the next morning, I knew we were going to have another round of noise and fight and I quickly said a silent prayer to God for strength. I could feel his hand roaming round my body relentlessly and there was no doubt in my mind what the expected end result to be. I opened my eyes and took a glimpse at the clock on the wall. It was just 6.am. I turned and removed his hands from my body and tried to get up only to be pulled back. By the third time of going through the same motion, he finally spoke up.
”Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be happy if you won’t even have sex with me?” He said with obvious frustration in his voice.
”So your happiness is now tied to sex? You still don’t get it do you? I am doing this for us. For our home and our future. I told you before I started that this was going to happen and you agreed and now you want to make me feel guilty. Seriously I am confused.”
”Omololami, you know I am not opposed to prayer and fasting. I love God too and I go to church but you cannot honestly expect me not to have sex for the next 100 days just because you want to fast”
I was so angry at that statement and I flared up,
”Seriously Kenny, are you kidding me right now? What happened to self control? This just shows how far you have fallen from the faith. Is this not the same you that used to fast with me all the time before we got married? So all that spirituality was a lie? Did we not court for two years without sex? So you must have been cheating on me.”
”What? How can you say that? Are you crazy? How can you even compare both scenarios? I was single then now I am married. Why did I get married if I can’t have sex?”
”Oh so now I am a sex machine? You married me for the sex?” I asked
”You know what, I wont waste my time having this fruitless conversation with you. I am warning you for the last time. I wont take this your fasting bullshit and you will learn to respect me in this house. If this is the rubbish they are teaching you in church, I will ban you from going there”
”You wont dare Kehinde Ayorinde. You will not dare. If I ever have to choose between you and my God, trust me, you will loose. It is God first and you second. That devil that is trying to use you, will not find a place”.
”Try me, Lola, just try me” he said as he walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny’s lunch that he usually takes to work I was so sad. I didn’t understand Kenny’s bitterness towards my relationship with God. I didn’t expect to have these kind of issues just 6 months after marriage. He knew how much I loved God and how much that relationship means to me and he was proving so difficult. We even talked about this while we were courting and he used to tell me how much he loved my passion for God. We have tried getting pregnant for the past 5 months and nothing has happened and I knew I needed to tackle it in prayer before 5 months turned to 15 years and I told him I decided to join the 100 days fast in church. Initially, he had agreed to join me but 3 days after he stopped. I didn’t get offended. I decided to do the prayers myself, I just did not expect him to be so bitter about it. As I finished packing his lunch about 30 minutes later, Kenny came out fully dressed and just walked past me without picking up his food as usual. I quickly ran after him and caught up with him just as he was getting into his car.
”You didn’t take your food” I said.
”Take that rubbish food and get out of my sight. I don’t want your food, now or ever until you learn to respect me and until you decide what is more important to you” he said and slammed the door, driving away while I stood there mouth agape.
We had a lot of disagreements over sex in the last two weeks but I had never seen Kenny so bitter before. I knew there and then I needed to pray for my home. Casting out every demon that suddenly possessed my husband………

Hello bro, hope you’re doing good. Please can you share the survey site where make little income from. Thanks.