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This Is The Way Introverts Pick Their Person

Introverts start by admiring someone from afar. They will silently watch their crush for weeks or even months before actually initiating a conversation.
They’re spending all of their time trying to determine whether or not that person would be worth the risk — because introverts hate wasting their time. They hate opening up to someone who is only going to leave.
Luckily, introverts never stop thinking, never stop people watching, so they’re skilled at telling when someone is worth their time and when someone is a waste of their time. They’re good judges of character.
Introverts take things slow. They don’t like to talk to strangers, let alone be touched by strangers, so they try to develop a deep connection with the person they’re interested in dating. They aim to form an intellectual or emotional bond before creating a physical one.
Introverts take a while to open up, but once they do, they cling on tightly. They trust you with their whole hearts and love you with their whole souls.
Introverts feel more comfortable expressing their thoughts on paper than in person, which is why they need someone who will send them good morning texts before they even wake up. Someone who will ask them about their work day during their train commute home.
Introverts need someone who reaches out to them, who isn’t afraid to send the first message or ask the first question. Someone who is willing to take the lead when it comes to saying, I miss you and I love you.
Introverts are old souls. They want to spend their free time reading or napping or walking their dogs. They aren’t involved in the party scene. They prefer old fashioned dates with milkshakes and drive-in movies.
Introverts want someone similar to them. Someone who is happy to spend the night inside cuddling on the couch instead of searching for a packed bar to get wasted. Someone who values quality time with a loved one over the chance to mingle with strangers.
Introverts only date people they feel comfortable around. People that they don’t feel awkward taking on a first date. People that they can sit side-by-side with in silence.
Introverts are gifted. Good listeners. Good boyfriends/girlfriends.
If an introvert falls in love with you, you can consider yourself lucky. They are going to expand your mind by teaching you something new each day.
They are going to make you feel loved with their kind, giving nature.
And they dislike most people, which means they aren’t going to leave you for someone else. They’re going to appreciate that they’ve found you, someone they can truly say that they love.
Introverts are not the kind to settle. They enjoy being alone, so they don’t feel pressured to enter into a relationship. They don’t put themselves into toxic situations just so they can feel like they fit in.
Introverts only enter into serious relationships once they’ve found someone special. Once they’ve found their forever person.

RICKYMARIO:
wow, its good to be bk to d family. I must say that I've been able to work on myself over the
last few months. Even though I'm still an introvert, I've been able to work on
aspects such as discussion with d opp sex, maintaining eye contact, general relationship
with people etc (in fact I fear I'm turning into a talkative especially when with my coursemates).

gidjah:
good to hear someone is been improving lately , it pays to let people around you that care about you know that you seriously care about them in return too. yourlittle bit of positive response when ever they open up to you and not the normal 'boring cold outlook 'we usually throw back at them!.just know when to draw the line my Dr, and dont go beyond a fair limit in any conversation, you need to keep who you truly are and guard your person jealously, you still wanna be respected and honored so watch it.people hardly take talkactive very seriously , sure you do know that.

RICKYMARIO:
yea thanks

9 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT THE ISTJ PERSONALITY TYPE

What really sets an ISTJ apart?
If you’re lucky enough to have an ISTJ as a friend, family member, or coworker, you know firsthand what makes these special individuals so likable. And chances are good you do know an ISTJ, considering 16 percent of men and 7 percent of women fit this personality type.

I can personally testify that my life would be sadder without these steady, dependable companions. My wife, dad, and several of my close friends are all ISTJs.
What makes an ISTJ awesome? There’s a lot to love about the ISTJ personality type. Here are nine things that make ISTJs charming.

1. They’re industrious.
An ISTJ is happiest when she’s cranking out to-dos. As many ISTJs do, my wife keeps a long list of chores and projects she wants to accomplish. A good day is one in which she checks most of the items off her list.
If you want to find an ISTJ, just listen for the sound of work getting done in the background and follow it to the source.

2. They’re candid.
If you want a down-to-earth, honest appraisal of your ideas, circumstances, or current conundrum, seek out an ISTJ. They’ll tell you how it is without beating around the bush. And they won’t waste any words.
When I want honest feedback on a blog post or a song I’ve written, I ask my wife or dad. They’ll tell me if my work wasn’t so hot. But the flip side of that coin is that, if they say it’s any good at all, I feel like a million bucks. I know they’re speaking the truth and not just trying to make me feel good.

3. They’re predictable.
ISTJs are creatures of habit. Don’t believe me? Just look in my dad’s cereal closet. The amount of Raisin Bran in there could have supplied the Mayflower on its maiden voyage across the Atlantic.
If you ever want to upset an ISTJ, move his favorite coffee mug and napkin. Tell her that you’re not going to be celebrating Christmas by decorating a tree. Or serve him a foreign food that he’s never tried before. These people like to keep things “the same as it always was.”

4. They’re knowledgeable.
I don’t know where they keep them, but ISTJs have got facts like you wouldn’t believe – especially on topics that interest them. They can tell you about the Sherman Antitrust Act they learned about in their high school history class. And they know that Michael Jordan paid a $5,000 fine every game of his rookie career for wearing shoes that were different than his teammates’ shoes.
Their minds are veritable filing cabinets for facts and details. I can’t get over my wife’s ability to recall and share a previous conversation in almost word-for-word detail. It’s uncanny. One of the greatest strengths any ISTJ possesses is his memory and recall of stored data.

5. They’re dependable.
ISTJs demonstrate their love for others by being there for them. My wife always makes sure meals are cooked, the chores are done, and the laundry is folded. I can’t remember a time that I came home from high school and the lights weren’t on. Dad always flipped the switch for me and then proceeded to launder my disgusting basketball uniform.
If an ISTJ gives you her word, it’s as good as gold. It’s a signature on a contract. ISTJs take pride in doing what they say they’re going to do, no matter how the commitments tire or inconvenience them. There’s a lot to admire about that!

6. They’re steady.
Some people need the pressure of a deadline or the excitement of a new project to do their best work – but not ISTJs. They’re finishers through and through. ISTJs will show up and work on a project hour after hour, day after day, when other people would have long since quit. They’re committed to getting the job done.
They’re also emotionally stable. As an INFJ , my feelings are volatile and, consequently, my mood can soar or plummet in a short amount of time. While ISTJs get excited and depressed as others do, their emotions are more tempered. It’s almost as if they’ve got a built-in compressor for emotions to regulate their feelings. You can count on them being the same people today – and tomorrow – as they were yesterday.

7. They’re quiet.
I had to mention this one. After all, this is a website for introverts. ISTJs love quiet. And because they’re easily overstimulated, they appreciate calm environments free from interruptions and distractions. These are ideal circumstances where they can get a lot of work done.
ISTJs also need downtime to recharge. I used to think something was wrong with my dad when he would watch baseball alone in the basement with the lights down low. Now, I realize he was just recuperating. He needed peace. So don’t take it personally when the ISTJ in your life slips away for some much needed and well deserved quiet time.

8. They’re safe.
My dad taught my sister that your heart should be a graveyard: When someone shares personal information with you, it should stay inside you, as though it had died there. Dad lived by those words. I could trust him with what was bothering me without ever having to worry about him telling others. If you want a stellar confidant, befriend a quality ISTJ.

9. They’re particular.
If the job’s not perfect, it’s not done. That, my friend, is the ISTJ motto. More than once, I’ve heard ISTJ friends bemoan a poor paint job or ill-kept house. You see, ISTJs are wired to find what’s wrong and substandard; no mistake is safe in their presence. They are error detection machines!
When my wife reads something I’ve written, often the first words I hear from her when she finishes concern the errors I’ve made. “This link doesn’t open in a new window,” or, “You forgot a comma.”
She is not trying to be critical. Her brain just operates that way. And as a result, you have the pleasure of reading more finely edited prose.

This article was gotten from introvertdear.com ....
I've made a successful attempt to curb no. 3 though

GloryIsaac:
This article was gotten from introvertdear.com ....
I've made a successful attempt to curb no. 3 though

Giel:
Care to share how? It can be annoying sometimes,

i have a question though, don't we all become a bit predictable to our friends in our behaviour after a while? or that's not the point of the article?

In relation to the example used in no3, I will try the new food though, I do like trying new things, I'm the kind of person that will try every thing once.

It's quite simple but it takes time and patience to master it... the secret is to create an air of suspense, react differently to the way you normally would in the same situation, it keeps the offender tensed b'cos this time around, he/she doesn't know your next move unlike before when he/she could predict everything you would do......
I was a victim of bullying back in high school, the bullies just wouldn't stop, they would purposely hit me or run with my stuff just b'cos they derived joy in seeing me jump and cry in anger , with time i changed my tactic, no jumping or crying, just smile or laugh (though i was burning inside)... this really put them off, they often wondered why i ain't crying and cursing them again (though whenever opportunity arose to deal with them, i did it perfectly ), with time fear began to creep in (no one likes dealing with maniacs), bullying didn't end but it reduced drastically.........
Same goes for friends, you don't get to respond to everything they say or do, that way they're kept on their toes...
You only react how they want if it's in a positive scenario e.g they get you a cake for birthday etc.

Creating an air of suspense can be a dangerous game especially if you're surrounded by very smart people though so once in a blue moon, deliberately react how they want.....

My view of trying new things depends on what those things may be.

[quote author= GloryIsaac post=57766915] It's quite simple but it takes time and patience to master it... the secret is to create an air of suspense, react differently to the way you normally would in the same situation, it keeps the offender tensed b'cos this time around, he/she doesn't know your next move unlike before when he/she could predict everything you would do......

Thanks,

I was a victim of bullying back in high school, the bullies just wouldn't stop, they would purposely hit me or run with my stuff just b'cos they derived joy in seeing me jump and cry in anger , with time i changed my tactic, no jumping or crying, just smile or laugh (though i was burning inside)... this really put them off, they often wondered why i ain't crying and cursing them again (though whenever opportunity arose to deal with them, i did it perfectly ), with time fear began to creep in (no one likes dealing with maniacs), bullying didn't end but it reduced drastically.........

,

Same goes for friends, you don't get to respond to everything they say or do, that way they're kept on their toes...
You only react how they want if it's in a positive scenario e.g they get you a cake for birthday etc.

All right

Creating an air of suspense can be a dangerous game especially if you're surrounded by very smart people though so once in a blue moon, deliberately react how they want.....

Hmmmm,

My view of trying new things depends on what those things may be.

Krasid:
How do y'all deal with those that naturally dislike you? I once had someone who told me he doesn't want to hate me, but my non-verbal/taciturn attitude was making him loathe me. Well, I tried to explain that I didn't have any ill feelings towards him and was just the typical introvert. I once caught him looking at me with malice another day( it was so obvious as he was gnashing his teeth, with the look lasting for about a minute); I just smiled and looked away.

Benteazaa:
I just act like the dont exist. in my compound everybody thinks am too proud and one particular lady hates me so much that she cant hide it. the only person that understands me is my landlord and always try to defend me when neccessary. my dear is not easy being an introvert

Krasid:
Walahi. There have been a cornucopia of guesses as to why I would prefer solitude and silence to being loud and extroverted; ranging from 'he is proud and arrogant' to 'he is stupid, aloof and dull'.

Krasid:
How do y'all deal with those that naturally dislike you? I once had someone who told me he doesn't want to hate me, but my non-verbal/taciturn attitude was making him loathe me. Well, I tried to explain that I didn't have any ill feelings towards him and was just the typical introvert. I once caught him looking at me with malice another day( it was so obvious as he was gnashing his teeth, with the look lasting for about a minute); I just smiled and looked away.

Krasid:
Walahi. There have been a cornucopia of guesses as to why I would prefer solitude and silence to being loud and extroverted; ranging from 'he is proud and arrogant' to 'he is stupid, aloof and dull'.

Benteazaa:
i just try to be as friendly as i can. but at the end of the day i only end up with my best pal which is my fone and lock my slf inside my room. for me i dnt care abt de hating i just live my life de way GOD designed it

Boole3:
I'm having suicidal thoughts because of my poor grades in school.
I'm so tired.. i read for more than 8hours daily but I still fail... 200l sitting on a 1.8 cgpa with loads of carryover courses. I feel like a complete failure.
At the rate at which I'm having suicidal thoughts these days I'm scared that one day I might just do it ... I need your help I don't want to kill myself.
I cant even think straight anymore

GloryIsaac:
This article was gotten from introvertdear.com ....
I've made a successful attempt to curb no. 3 though

Giel:
Care to share how? It can be annoying sometimes,

i have a question though, don't we all become a bit predictable to our friends in our behaviour after a while? or that's not the point of the article?

In relation to the example used in no3, I will try the new food though, I do like trying new things, I'm the kind of person that will try every thing once.

Olarewajub:
Matric picture na manage and the pics are usually weird because you don't have any ideal how you are going to pose. Lol @ djtm

Sard:
I'll advise you guys to learn to be a bit "friendly" to people around you. You don't have to sit down with them while they're doing their small talks, but you can learn to greet them each time you see them.
I used to be like you guys, but I've learnt recently that there's only a thin line between being an introvert and being socially awkward. Through your actions, let people know you are not a sadist, but just an introvert.
Smiling when people talk, greeting them when you see them, checking on those that matter without necessarily spending lots of time there, and listening to people while they talk won't really hurt you. Those things make them understand that you're a great and nice person, but just not into unending and irrelevant small talks. There are lots of things you can gain from being a bit relaxed and friendly to people.
Nowadays, I let people do the talking while I just listen and smile. They would have uttered 50 words before I utter 5 words, but I've noticed that they are usually happy when I do. It is not about satisfying people, it's about improving your social skills and learning to be comfortable around people. The 20/30 minutes you spend with people (not your family) each day won't kill you. It will only make you a better social being.

Boole3:
I've already created a topic on this but thought I should post it here.... being an introvert et all

I'm having suicidal thoughts because of my poor grades in school.
I'm so tired.. i read for more than 8hours daily but I still fail... 200l sitting on a 1.8 cgpa with loads of carryover courses. I feel like a complete failure.
At the rate at which I'm having suicidal thoughts these days I'm scared that one day I might just do it ... I need your help I don't want to kill myself.
I cant even think straight anymore

DonOms:
Boole3, I tried to look through your thread to see what you have been told and if you have shed more light on your situation. I however decided to reply your post here instead of the thread.

I think it is clear you're studying a course you don't feel passionate about...although that's not the cause of your low grades. Passion only ensures 'ease' and 'consistency', it isn't the primary requirement for academic success.
I know people who studied courses they were "given" by their university and still came out with flying colours so here are things you should seriously consider:

1) Study Effectively: Now, this term means two things here - OBSERVE & STUDY. Observe patterns and styles your lecturers use and that which your individual courses have. Don't skip class as those lectures are more important than your reading sometimes. Then Study and not just read. If you study for 1 hour, even if it is just one concept in one page of your note, make sure you understand it enough to teach it. If you can do this for all your courses and cover at least 80% of your course syllabus, your grades will definitely improve.

2) Develop Interest: If you don't develop genuine interest in your course of study, there might be no improvement. Read things beyond your text book and notes leisurely and get some drive to succeed at your study.

3) Pray: I don't know if you believe in prayers (though you say you're doubting God's existence, that's kinda normal when one passes through difficulties). But I know prayer works. Just as @Margy said on your thread, there is the need for spiritual back-up in some situations. I for example had only one single course all through university where I had grades below what I expected after my first-year exams. When that happened and I couldn't possibly explain it (I saw my script later and I did exceptionally well but had a low but passable grade), I simply prayed about it. It never happened again ever.

4) Consider your Options: I read some people telling you to switch course or change school or leave school or get a job... And you seem too opened to all these. Please, take a break, go some place and sit down to consider what your options really are and what you'd want to do (write them down) - mark the best option that pleases you the most. Then do it. That way, you'd have less regret and you'd be happy for it hence no more suicidal thoughts. Even if the choice is to take JAMB again, don't be scared. Do it! And make it count! Don't do things to please anyone else...not your mom or the society. It's your life after all. Explain your choice to them with reasons and hope for support.

Finally, be involved in a variety of interesting things that interest you or you're passionate about. If your passions rise above your existence, you'll forever bid suicide thoughts farewell. You can also get a trustworthy adult/shrink you can talk to if need be. Discuss your issues and interests...this helps with the depression and suicidal thoughts. I pray you get better pretty soon.

Boole3:
thanks a lot!.... I don't want to start all over again I want to continue with the course... and hopefully my grades will get better

Ezigboune:
Love my fantasy world so much, where everything is possible

Vivipop:
Exactly what I had in mind.
My fantasy world is so perfect and quiet. It is very private and contented.
Unlike my younger sister, I have hard time making friends, not like I try because I don't buy into the reason for making new friends.
Call me shy but I like to keep it very distant, that way, I can avoid you when I don't feel like it. Admire me from afar but don't try to connect because i won't have it and you are gonna ruin it all. I am scared and shy of having to bring up something during conversations, not because i don't have anything to say but i am always bothered about the other person liking or buying into what i may bring up. That awkward moment when he/she says "hi" and you say "hello, how have you been? How has your day been?" at the end of the line, what next? Maybe I should wait for you to start up another discussion, maybe I should ask what you ate today, no maybe you have not eaten, maybe I should rather ask you what you are doing. Arghhh! The whole thing freak me out. I'll rather keep to myself. Privacy is a sacred deity for me, i love watching other people from behind the curtain. I am much more comfortable there. Once in a while i try and let myself feel the attention but just for a little time and nothing more I hate too close attention, I love black colour or any other dull colour. Most times I put my phone on flight mode, so I don't get to answer calls from my few friends. A habit I love so much. If I see you coming towards me, I would give anything to take the next road so you don't get to see me and we start "catching up" with God knows what.


I hate chatting on social media, same reason I quit Facebook, too crowded and public for me.
Most time I go on my WhatsApp, I put off my data so people don't get to know I'm online. I creep in very quickly to check my contact's dps and I creep out almost immediately.


I love staying indoors.
If I must breath in fresh air outside or put in a little alcohol into the system, I go to a very private place with a close and trusted friend, in house parties are the best. Mask wearing wouldn't be a bad treat. LOL.
In all these, the few friends I have come to make, have grown on me, I try most times not to appear too clingy. Anyways, they are the ones who wouldn't mind a long time of silence when i am with them, i don't feel awkward when I have nothing more to say, I don't feel the need to always bring up something around them.
I feel contented watching other people from the sidelines while fulfilling my aspirations.
Oh I love introverted guys, they are so cute. I feel I can always have an upper hand when dealing with them. I act like an extrovert around them, seeing myself in them gives me a butterfly feeling in my stomach.