₦airaland Forum

All this hypocrite fvck boys wey full everywhere dey follow give advice

If u haven't given your girlfriend or fvck partner money for abortion before,then u can cast the 1st stone nonsense...

zed7:
You don't love her. You are just longing for what you are yet to taste. Marriage is not a game. If you can have a sexual relationship with her before marriage and you still feel like marrying her, then go for it!

shes not a virgin. you aren't one either. you guys should start having sex. if afterwards, the feelings still remain same, marry her.

As the dude above me rightly said, you may be longing for what you haven't had. you need to fine out by applying my first paragraph.

I don talk my own. I no put water for mouth​ talk am.

If your decision to marry her is based on what people tell from this York story, then you are not ready to get married.

Water101:
Well may be she is ready to give into wat u have bn ask of her all this while(getting into her pa^nt)but she also want u to knw she's gone on d ride already so that u won't be in 4 a surprise when u find out dat d gate is already open.nw dat u knw maybe u needn't ask her anymore or she may still play had to get so as nt to lose u 4 fear of bn dump.both of u shud Repent and give ur life to christ stop 'fornication'....i doubt if ur relationship is ripe 4 marriage yet.

This ur advice dey one kyn!

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

to say this to u means shes matured...how about other attributes like her character, the way she reasons. If positive go for her. Shes better that d ones u dont even know about

Nerdg:
You're capturing the part you like. However, I wish you can understand the theme rather than a paragraph. Let me help, we had many break-ups only because I tried to have sex with her. Meanwhile she's already sexually active. That's the problem not the stillbirth

then maybe you should listen to the person that said she's not sexually attracted to you. Why not initiate sex again to see if she will respond to you. You're doing neither of you a favour by getting married to someone who's not sexually attracted to you. (not that I'm pro premarital sex but how will you know if you guys are sexually compatible?).

If you have to ask strangers when you should be confident at this stage(proposal) about how you feel about her then you're not ready.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Oyindidi:
You know nothing about sex and marriage. She does not find him attractive.

miss, you are the one that knows everything about sex and marriage now. Miss relationship expert Mtcheewwwwww

OP, my candid opinion on your case; that girl is a manipulator, take it or leave it. She only stocked to you just for the financial and other benefits she's been getting from you, not love. In short, she detest you for real, that's why she's been denying you SX all the while. She gets other benefits from you then get SXual satisfaction from the one she truly loves. You're nothing but her Plan-B, the next best option when others fail. Run for your life and get a wife, not a milf!.. this piece is straight outta my similar xperience with ma EX. They never change, even when they get married, they become worse off, look elsewhere for a wife bro, this one will stagnate your happiness with her manipulative ways. All the best.

lovelygurl:
I don't get it. I came here looking for a super dark secret and found none.

I don't even know or understand why you are now thinking of not marrying her. It wasn't like she got pregnant WHILE you guys were dating. She had a stillbirth, so what? Is it her fault? You and your ex did worse, you ABORTED a child who was unfortunate to be yours.

I also don't get how sex is related to she having a stillbirth, and you aborting. It seems that's the real problem here: "sex"

Almost all comments by females mirrors yours. But try to understand where Op was coming from.

His annoyance or rather concern was that why the girl in question was refusing him sex and they broke up as a result few times. She was busy getting it by the side giving to other guys and forming hard babe to the guy.

Recall, since she didn't let him have it, he went around, first to her neighbour and other girls. The guy on his side could have a plausible argument say, had she allowed him to have it, he wouldn't be sleeping around.

Without argument, both of them messed up in their own different ways and the issue here is not who's was greater but the guys concern was, why would the girl deny him access and grant access to others Could this be love

I don't have any opinion about whether or not he should marry her, not that I am campaigning for premarital sex but I totally understand the guys concern. I would feel the same way too... We are all human.

Cc: Nerdg

saasala:
Then fvck her and dump her. If she doesnt allow you go into her pant, still dump her. She doesnt deserve you. She was getting serviced by some dirty guys and refused you sex, she now wants you as a husband after you have gotten a good job, still refusing you sex. Marry her at your own peril.

Oh boy go back and read!

Op got her RELATIVE pregnant and aborted the pregnancy!

preetyb:
@Op
First of all ask yourself, what love is, then may be you will get the answer you seek.

Love is something that covers multitude of sin.
No one is without a dark past not even you.

Your story is similar to what happened to me and my fiance but he forgave me and even love me more than he used too, not because it didn't hurt him but because he loves me he decided not to even worry himself about it. Instead he told Me never to mention it again and that I should try and forget it. And then he told me the most important thing is the fact that we have now decided to be with each other again till the end and never to repeat the same mistakes we made before.

@OP, do you really love her and does she loves you as much?. if you answer is yes then take her to the alter.

Op is not concerned of the pregnancy for the other man pe say but the rational behind denying him sex and having it with another to the point of getting pregnant.

He is worried that she may not have a genuine attraction to him which he fears that may rear its head in the future should he marry her.

However, I disagree with the Op on the emphasis he laid on naming her confession (which himself had had a similar experience) to him "dark".

[color=#006600][/color]

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Op i think i understand your point.

You are wondering why she will refuse you sex in your relationship with her yet she still goes ahead and give it to other guys. Right?

As for me i think she is not telling you the whole truth. Spend some time with her, have a heart to heart discussion with her and if possible ask her the following questions.

1) why did she insist on a no sex relationship with you yet have a very active sexual relationship with others ?

2) did she accept to marry you base on love or because you are the only one available for now. ?

From her response you will get the answers you're looking for.

And also have it in mind that she might be testing you. To see how mature you are mentally and emotionally

saasala:
Then fvck her and dump her. If she doesnt allow you go into her pant, still dump her. She doesnt deserve you. She was getting serviced by some dirty guys and refused you sex, she now wants you as a husband after you have gotten a good job, still refusing you sex. Marry her at your own peril.

In ur mind, you have given the best advice so far


Clap for yourself

lovelygurl:
Oh boy go back and read!

Op got her RELATIVE pregnant and aborted the pregnancy!

That's inaccurate. Maybe you need to read yourself.

According to the story, Op had sex with her neighbour who is the girl's relation when the girl refused her sex.. This caused their first break up.

Along the line, Op got a different girl pregnant and they aborted.

lovelygurl:
Oh boy go back and read!

Op got her RELATIVE pregnant and aborted the pregnancy!

you the one that should read back, he didn't impregnate the relative

Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship

A wise man sighted. on behalf of op I say thank you bro!

My opinion!! One of the best ways to enjoy your marriage is when your wife or husband to be is your best friend as a result of that, there's nothing you cannot discuss being your past, present & future. Don't feel discontinued because she mean well by telling you her past so you won't need to find out yourself & she doesn't want her past to ruin her future {marriage}. If you truly you love her you should appreciate the fact that she confided in you because she want a new life. After all, you both made same mistake.

Dumbae13:
I told my fiancee that I got pregnant in school for my bf then we both wanted to keep it, he was working just doing MSC in my school when I met him,but I had a miscarriage due to using bike to meet up with lectures and all, i regretted telling him,anyways its good you guys are opening up to yourselves for me its Not a topic

Why did you regret telling him?

Badgers14:
Almost all comments by females mirrors yours. But try to understand where Op was coming from.

His annoyance or rather concern was that why the girl in question was refusing him sex and they broke up as a result few times. She was busy getting it by the side giving to other guys and forming hard babe to the guy.

Recall, since she didn't let him have it, he went around, first to her neighbour and other girls. The guy on his side could have a plausible argument say, had she allowed him to have it, he wouldn't be sleeping around.

Without argument, both of them messed up in their own different ways and the issue here is not who's was greater but the guys concern was, why would the girl deny him access and grant access to others Could this be love

I don't have any opinion about whether or not he should marry her, not that I am campaigning for premarital sex but I totally understand the guys concern. I would feel the same way too... We are all human.

My problem with op is, he should have said it's all about sex and should not come here whining about a stillbirth. Besides he didn't only just go to her neighbour, her neighbour happens to be her RELATIVE. He got another girl pregnant. Yet he claims to love her and even break up with her because of SEX ?

She AFTER he broke up with her, she got pregnant and had a stillbirth- Should that be considered a DARK secret?


She might have even gotten pregnant because she felt her new guy would leave her just like op, if she refuses to have sex with him.

Getting pregnant and having a stillbirth might result to her not wanting to have sex before marriage

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

like they say

everybody plays the fool

few exception to the rule

just let the past pass, go ahead with her and never allow the past come up

cc:onyindidi

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

I see no reasons why you shouldn't marry her.

kongobros:
You see, my problem here is she denied him sex each time he asked for it but she gave it to some persons even up to 4yrs and then another for pregnancy. Please, let us call a spade its name.

Are you calling a hoe a spade ? i'm lost

Op, how did she reject your sexual moves in ur time together with her?

Did she allow pre-intimacy before turning you down? Did she allow any form of romance in d times you both were together? If she did, then she PROBABLY loves and finds you sexually attractive but was holding back for reasons best known to her.

But if everytime you reduce d distance between d two of U, she looks suspiciously at you, and says, " Akpan, what do you think you are trying to do? "-- my Broda abeg collect your "proposal" from her and return her "yes" back to her oo b4 u end up cheating on her after marriage which might lead to oda things.

Badgers14:
That's inaccurate. Maybe you need to read yourself.

According to the story, Op had sex with her neighbour who is the girl's relation when the girl refused her sex.. This caused their first break up.

Along the line, Op got a different girl pregnant and they aborted.

Even worse. There were even multiple girls? What a man wh*re

The girl should dump his silly ass. All a guy like him can think of will just be sex. His type will even cheat on you after marriage. If his interpretation of sex = love, what is she still doing with him? Jeez, when there are many men out there who would cherish her

Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship

Complete and perfectly surmised gospel. The highlighted especially relevant to this particular case. Thank you for volunteering your wisdom for the reorientation of these betas. They need to know.

I can bet my pant that this was so called girlfriend is a yoruba girl.let me tell you why I said so.
She is pretending.
Sleeps around like dogs.
Just dump her,yoruba girls don't change is their lifestyle.if you don't she will soon sleep with your neighbors and you people will make up as usual

Nerdg:
I truly love her and had stopped talking about sex long before this time

if you truly love enough and you know she loves you too. ..then marry her.
I don't support sex prior marriage....though

Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship

Nerdg, I hate to state this, but this is the answer to your plight.

fumiswtpusy:
I can bet my pant that this was so called girlfriend is a yoruba girl.let me tell you why I said so.
She is pretending.
Sleeps around like dogs.
Just dump her,yoruba girls don't change is their lifestyle.if you don't she will soon sleep with your neighbors and you people will make up as usual

Why are you bringing a tribe into this?

The facts here are staggering.

8abe refused to have sex with you. But had a boyfriend of 4 Years who probably shagged his way through Varsity via her. And she didnt even get pregnant for the said boyfriend but for another Man.

and with all these history that will cause a gynaecologist heart ache...she committs you to a no Sex relationship?!!?

Thank Mary its not my Business

my take is that a repented ashawo Is always better than a sinful virgin. more also, the devil you know is better than The angel you don't know. everyone has got a past, as long as you are convince she's changed and ready to remain like that then there's no need for worries.