₦airaland Forum

If u date rich guy, nah wahala... poor guy na Gobe # sha leave us, live and let's live...

sekxy:
Ithappened to two of my friends but lem me talk about one..

Their relationship started this time last 5years. When this my girlfriend was just in her under 20's. So this guy came to her when he had nothing. Though it took this my gf time to actually accept him. Then I would advice her to at least date when she turns 20 at least to know a lot about relationship but due to her love for the guy she accepted him.

Then the guy graduated from university and luckily for him he went for his NYSC shortly when my gf accepted his proposal.. Then this guy would visit her without giving her anything, they were loved up and she was cool with it..she loved him so much that nothing about him pisses her off..

hmmm, so many times this my gf would go to visit him but because he doesn't have money she would transport herself...the guy then loved her.. Maybe because he was still broke.. I would then ask this bae if she cheats on him but she would say no, even to the extend that she doesn't club or do any social stuff because of his guy, she prays and encouraged him.

Fast forward to this time last year, the guy started making money ..bought cars and started building ..he has many investments.

Just last two months she called and was crying that the guy had broken up with her and I was like ...please calm down and tell me what transpired. .she said that the guy chatted her up to tell her that he likes light skinned ladies...and that he doesn't love her enough to marry her because of her skin colour..

I called the supposed bf and the guy was actually telling me he Will cheat on her if he eventually marries her...but this bae suffered with him all this while for 4years and he didn't notice her dark colour until he started making money.

Me sef i like fair ladies... Will u date me?

Dated him when he was poor then that means marriage?

And a man must give a woman money anytime she visits?

If I do not have sisters I would have believed this twisted representation of women...

Cos what you painted here is a cheap, thoughtless and pathetic version of a woman.

VargasVee:
No pun intended, but this sounds like a load of Bullshiit.


She's not light-skinned?

Lamest reason I ever heard, Or he didn't see her before when he was broke?


Ask Your friend, she is yet to tell you what she did.

But the girl called the bf and heard from the horses mouth na. What then is there to ask again
Must we blame the gurl


Sometimes I think these things are more spiritual

There are men and women that people will just forget when things get better

Kondomatic:
No guy leaves a GOOD woman who stood by him when he was poor.

Lemme Highlight Some Things.

1. Dating a broke guy doesn't mean you are a good woman

2. Dating a broke guy and building a future with a broke guy are not the same

3. Dating a guy because you've looked into his future and seen that he will turn out great is not love, dating, support or whatever you girls take it to be. It is an investment into his blessing with nothing and every investor losses.

4. If you date a guy when he was broke but didn't invest in him or support him(and prayer isn't the support I am talking about here, his mama prayers for him even in sleep) , he owe you nothing and can break up with you anytime

5. Dating a broke guy is like sponsoring a lady's education when she is not married to you, they come back with another guy instead of certificate most times.

If he says the girl has bad character, or is a cheat or is a liar I would still understand

But skin color?
Really nigga

Of all excuses it's her skin colour.

It shows the true intentions of the guy
It's not just about money, I wasted five years with you now you are saying I'm too black chai

I will swear for the guy if it's me

Dating A Broke Guy/Girl Is Different From Supporting Him Or Her

generationz:
But the girl called the bf and heard from the horses mouth na. What then is there to ask again
Must we blame the gurl


Sometimes I think these things are more spiritual

There are men and women that people will just forget when things get better

I think there's more to the story the Op isn't telling.

Have you heard such a silly excuse before?

Funkybabee:
So because of abused, he need to repay her back with that.after 4or5 years op mentioned,after sufferness with him,after wasting her precious time that can't turn back again


bro say another thing.

I am sorry if this is all you saw in all I wrote.

Could you explain to me cases where a guy would sponsor a girl's university education in an expensive private school, only for her to come home to tell him she was no longer interested? My ex had an uncle who sponsored a girl's university education at Afe Babalola. She got her bachelor's and even did a professional masters, all on the expense of the miserable man. I can remember this uncle vividly. Then, I was in medical school. This man almost ran mad. A man close to 40, crying like a baby.

MissRaine69:
No one is going to say " I was dumped because I constantly reminded him of the help I was giving him!" Some women will help a broke guy out but she will remind him daily that she is helping him out and that if it were not for her help he would be nothing!
No one wants to hear that.
Based on the OP's attitude if birds of a feather flock together I can see why the friend was dumped.

exactly!!! u just spoke my mind...girls helping broke guys shuld try and help themselves as well... dey should stop depending on d guy..

sekxy:
Ithappened to two of my friends but lem me talk about one..

Their relationship started this time last 5years. When this my girlfriend was just in her under 20's. So this guy came to her when he had nothing. Though it took this my gf time to actually accept him. Then I would advice her to at least date when she turns 20 at least to know a lot about relationship but due to her love for the guy she accepted him.

Then the guy graduated from university and luckily for him he went for his NYSC shortly when my gf accepted his proposal.. Then this guy would visit her without giving her anything, they were loved up and she was cool with it..she loved him so much that nothing about him pisses her off..

hmmm, so many times this my gf would go to visit him but because he doesn't have money she would transport herself...the guy then loved her.. Maybe because he was still broke.. I would then ask this bae if she cheats on him but she would say no, even to the extend that she doesn't club or do any social stuff because of his guy, she prays and encouraged him.

Fast forward to this time last year, the guy started making money ..bought cars and started building ..he has many investments.

Just last two months she called and was crying that the guy had broken up with her and I was like ...please calm down and tell me what transpired. .she said that the guy chatted her up to tell her that he likes light skinned ladies...and that he doesn't love her enough to marry her because of her skin colour..

I called the supposed bf and the guy was actually telling me he Will cheat on her if he eventually marries her...but this bae suffered with him all this while for 4years and he didn't notice her dark colour until he started making money.

Op I'm not playing

If your story is true, ask your friend if there is a recurrence of promise and fail in her life
Some people have that in them oo

Tell her to start praying seriously and while at it she should work at being a better person.

This is not news.
Them boys do it all the time.

sekxy:
the guy actually confirms that the lady was too good for him..but his problem is that he is attracted to fair ladies...he told me that the lady was so nice to him that he feels bad whenever he wants to flirt........just that good ladies end up with bad guys

On a scale of 1-10.

Hiw cute is that your friend? Is she slim like you? I like slim ladies

If she is at least 6 on that scale. I don't mind, I will brush her up to be 10.

But you know some girls no matter how u take care of them ugly runs in their vein.



My current gf says she doesn't want to get married until 4 years time because of her career. Told her I don't think I can wait. So I am looking for another option.

If she is good, I will fill in

KevMitnick:
There is something wrong with your story. It appears incomplete. If we hear the guy's side of the story, we'll be able to assess the situation better.

He said he likes fair girls, chai

bethyz:
I dated a guy when he had nothing . Though I was in school. when I graduated I told him 4years in school you didnt achieve anything. 5 years into the relationship I told him if after 5years you are still not ready no more. I moved on with my life. Now he is in Malaysia, showing me his houses and stuff he has now.
At a time i felt if I knew.
But then I am married to a man I love so much. I think all he showed me was just lies.

Are you a gay

sekxy:
Lol. .love is blind as they say

Truly blind.... I prefer to use my sight shaa

Erums:
Truly blind.... I prefer to use my sight shaa

lol

sekxy:
Ithappened to two of my friends but lem me talk about one..

Their relationship started this time last 5years. When this my girlfriend was just in her under 20's. So this guy came to her when he had nothing. Though it took this my gf time to actually accept him. Then I would advice her to at least date when she turns 20 at least to know a lot about relationship but due to her love for the guy she accepted him.

Then the guy graduated from university and luckily for him he went for his NYSC shortly when my gf accepted his proposal.. Then this guy would visit her without giving her anything, they were loved up and she was cool with it..she loved him so much that nothing about him pisses her off..

hmmm, so many times this my gf would go to visit him but because he doesn't have money she would transport herself...the guy then loved her.. Maybe because he was still broke.. I would then ask this bae if she cheats on him but she would say no, even to the extend that she doesn't club or do any social stuff because of his guy, she prays and encouraged him.

Fast forward to this time last year, the guy started making money ..bought cars and started building ..he has many investments.

Just last two months she called and was crying that the guy had broken up with her and I was like ...please calm down and tell me what transpired. .she said that the guy chatted her up to tell her that he likes light skinned ladies...and that he doesn't love her enough to marry her because of her skin colour..

I called the supposed bf and the guy was actually telling me he Will cheat on her if he eventually marries her...but this bae suffered with him all this while for 4years and he didn't notice her dark colour until he started making money.

let me ask, what about the men who train a lady from secondary school days to university days and all of a sudden she tells him I can't marry you I love someone else?

why is it that when things happen to a woman the whole world tumbles, but when something happens to a man he keeps quiet. Issues come up once in a while in everyone's life, how you handle it is what defines you.

now

1. No normal sensible guy will be with a woman who invested in him, spiritually, emotionally, physically and to an extent IF SHE CAN financially when he's broke and wake up one morning to dump her, it is either she has a questionable character he's being trying to make her change and she couldn't.

2. A broke man who struggled in life with a woman, when he sees the light, the first person he celebrates is that woman. I'm not being biased but this is the unprotected truth. no man will want to marry a liability in this era and keep her at home.

3. If you give a man sex, it doesn't warrant he is yours, I mean go to Owerri, Lagos, Port Harcourt, Italy and see men who sleep with women for money or impregnate these women for them to be paid..The same men who foot the bills of women who abandon them still give them mind blowing sex..

My verdict your friend has something sinister that happened which you're not telling us or she didn't tell you....

the nature of humans is to tell the world what someone did to them, without saying what they did forgetting that action breeds reaction

sekxy:
Ithappened to two of my friends but lem me talk about one..

Their relationship started this time last 5years. When this my girlfriend was just in her under 20's. So this guy came to her when he had nothing. Though it took this my gf time to actually accept him. Then I would advice her to at least date when she turns 20 at least to know a lot about relationship but due to her love for the guy she accepted him.

Then the guy graduated from university and luckily for him he went for his NYSC shortly when my gf accepted his proposal.. Then this guy would visit her without giving her anything, they were loved up and she was cool with it..she loved him so much that nothing about him pisses her off..

hmmm, so many times this my gf would go to visit him but because he doesn't have money she would transport herself...the guy then loved her.. Maybe because he was still broke.. I would then ask this bae if she cheats on him but she would say no, even to the extend that she doesn't club or do any social stuff because of his guy, she prays and encouraged him.

Fast forward to this time last year, the guy started making money ..bought cars and started building ..he has many investments.

Just last two months she called and was crying that the guy had broken up with her and I was like ...please calm down and tell me what transpired. .she said that the guy chatted her up to tell her that he likes light skinned ladies...and that he doesn't love her enough to marry her because of her skin colour..

I called the supposed bf and the guy was actually telling me he Will cheat on her if he eventually marries her...but this bae suffered with him all this while for 4years and he didn't notice her dark colour until he started making money.

Well first I would advice that you seriously work on your mindset cos it is apparent that you are one of the myopic ladies who think dating a broke guy is tantamount to doing him a favor.

If you are dating a broke guy and you feel he is not what you want and you also feel your livelihood is hinged on a rich guy please take a walk without second guessing

A lady should be in an affair with a man because she wants him whether he is broke or not and most times it is very absurd that ladies who never contributed and physical resources into the guy's life except manage the little he sweated to give them will also start ranting about being there for him.

Every affair is a win or lose game so let her move on and be independent financially so that a rich or broke guy will never be a criterion for her.

Please change your mindset before it's too late.

sekxy:
the guy actually confirms that the lady was too good for him..but his problem is that he is attracted to fair ladies...he told me that the lady was so nice to him that he feels bad whenever he wants to flirt........just that good ladies end up with bad guys

and good guys end up with bad ladies... simply because a balance in nature has to be created...

cococandy:
This is not news.
Them boys do it all the time.

sweetheart that every fire is red and too hot, does it mean that you can't see blue colored fire on a gas cooker?

that water drowns people does it mean we can't find drinkable water?

the knife kills, but can't that same knife aid in your cooking?

misconceptions come from generalizing....

y3mi:
First of all, there's nothing bad when females express an ordeal of this nature, be it the jilted or a girlfriend who does it on her behalf, but what I hate is whenever such lamentation is presented with so much INDIGNATION..like WTF! Sometimes Nigerian babes just makes me angry with their phony sob stories as if guys aren't the ones who get used and dumped the most. Is it because males in that same shoe your friend was don't voice out., I've being lovelorned, jilted and emotionally barbecued in 3 short-lived relationships so much that I'd begun to think love is a forsaken thing in this part of the world. I invested emotionally, physically and financially in the hopes of building a future together with someone you believe is your significant order, but only for me to turn out PUNKED...see Sexkyw abi na Sexksi sef...there are numerous authentic stories I can tell you that are bordered on this same premise wherein guy(s) are the ones who got torpedoed but there's this particular one that I've always wanted to share with guys here on Nairaland because it is so heart-wrenching and cruel it makes your fake or incomplete story sound like an Alice got lost wandering in Wonderland. It's a story every guy should read. As in you yourself go fear women after reading it. I was even contemplating whether if it deserves a thread on its own or to post it here upon reading what you shared on your GF's behalf, but I chose the former, however which, I shall remember to mention you as soon as I find time to write and thread it. And like I said, it's a must-read for every guy-in-love out there.

Getting back to the issue of what happened to your girlfriend, I have this to say before leaving you with a story that transpired several years ago.

Provided certain factors are satisfied, no guy/man, and I repeat no guy/man WILL EVER abandon his soul-mate for anyone else. Right now, I wish but I can't afford the time to start explaining why I'm so adamant on that position, but I can say it's simply because there are metaphysical impossibility attached to it, if such a guy per chance does that, his success is bound to crumble fast and sometimes irrecoverable even without her needing to haul imprecations at him.

Only if you had stumble on certain posts and write-ups I've written in a long past here on NL wherein I approach issues from the esoteric angle (not with this username) then you may agree. Most don't understand what it means to be with one soul-mate or to find one's significant order as a certain Yoruba proverb prays.
What happened to your girlfriend MAY have nothing to do with the guy as both of them may or may not be aware of what they were in it for, but along the line while she definitely took certain things for granted and her expectation grew bigger as the opportunistic 'Good-Bad Guy' latches on to enjoy her amusement park while her stock last and to process Kondomatic's first three point into a law applicable in her case, my verdict goes - she had it coming. Tell her to cry us a river.

Late night radio talk shows even made a serious topic out of it with various revamping for listeners to call in and air their views. I don't remember the full detail but it was about this abroad-based, already successful Nigerian guy who has being in a love-made-in-heaven relationship with a Nigeria babe for donkey years. In fact from the way the whole thing was being talked about you'd wonder - of all the damsels in France or USA where I think he is said to usually comes from to meet and court this said Nigerian babe, why her in particular. It must indeed be 'True Love'. On that fateful day, as the story goes - this guy just popped up unannounced to surprise her, greeted her girlfriends, dropped her a nylon bag and told her he want to see some folks around, he will be back soon but assures her as he takes his leave that she will enjoy what's inside as it's different in taste from all the Nigerian ones she's used to, before taking off in his ride. As the OAP narrate the story: facing her girlfriends all of whom who reside together, she protested "...can you imagine, of all the thing he has bought and done for me, it is this big bread he thinks I'm hungry for...I can't believe this, I feel insulted" She dumped it in the bin. The Good-Good Guy came back only to find what had happened, he just went straight to the trash and brought the nylon, opened and tore it up, brought out the diamond ring concealed inside the bread, and showed it to her as his means of stunning her with a proposal. It was said she knelt down begging and apologizing. I thought the whole story was fabricated until I saw it on other gossip sites and even spread like wildfire on FB & Twitter, this happened couple of years back before the coming of Instagram.

Wouldn't you say the Good-Good guy has being a sucker while the relationship lasted all that long only for him to find out he's being in love with a greedy, materialistic, unemotional, pretentious, gold-digging skank. It was even rumored that it was the guy who bought her the car she drives and pays for her accomodation too.

Point here is you gals have got to stop making this whole ish appear as though it's a one way thing. Guys too always gets fvcked over, if not the most.

Were you actually wanting to pass a message or just show good you are in English language

Couldn't have said this better

Amarabae:
Thank you OP.
Feminism remains a very import concept for wome,
it opens a lady's eye and prepares you in know your rights and priority.
Desperation to get married is most time due to societal pressure and it has pushed many ladies to do some silly things and later get emotional hurt.
Staying with a guy when he is broke and you are hoping for him to use wedding ring as thank you is a bad calculation.
Stay with him when he is broke just because you love him and not be hoping for marriage.
Desperation for marriage makes a woman to be soft target for opportunists.
AND ALSO.
I believe that a lady should focus FIRST on being independent financially before looking for A Broke guy to help carry his broke cross.

are you sure the name of the girl isn't Tope,
cause if it is,
this story is a fat lie,
she never came to my house without me giving her 3k in return, and we never kissed not to even talk of sex,
she never invested a dime in me oo

I pray her name isn't Tope

All i can say is "the dude is a d*ck"

VargasVee:
I think there's more to the story the Op isn't telling.
Have you heard such a silly excuse before?

Nothing surprises me any more
People get tired of their marriages for no good reason
At least he gave a reason

Eyaa op... sorry oh, it happened to someone i knew once. men dump good girls all the time for no particular reason dear.
don't mind those people trying to paint your friend black. men are just wired like that, we like to explore new things when we have money. i believe your story... tell your friend to take heart.

LordOfNaira:
I am sorry if this is all I saw in all I wrote.

Could you explain to me cases where a guy would sponsor a girl's university education in an expensive private school, only for her to come home to tell him she was no longer interested? My ex had an uncle who sponsored a girl's university education at Afe Babalola. She got her bachelor's and even did a professional masters, all on the expense of the miserable man. I can remember this uncle vividly. Then, I was in medical school. This man almost ran mad. A man close to 40, crying like a baby.

U done see how this world people are.same thing happen to men and women in this world,we just have to accept it in any situation will find ourselves. but saying because of abused or what I totally disagree about it because if a women keep bragging or abused u that doesn't mean u too don't have what u normally do or say in that relationship which is annoyed


May God just don't let us fall to the hand of our enemy because dating a lady that stand with u in time of tribulation and u still dump her, that's mean she hasn't find her own friend,her heart

cococandy:
Couldn't have said this better

hello beauty how are u

sekxy:
Ithappened to two of my friends but lem me talk about one..

Their relationship started this time last 5years. When this my girlfriend was just in her under 20's. So this guy came to her when he had nothing. Though it took this my gf time to actually accept him. Then I would advice her to at least date when she turns 20 at least to know a lot about relationship but due to her love for the guy she accepted him.

Then the guy graduated from university and luckily for him he went for his NYSC shortly when my gf accepted his proposal.. Then this guy would visit her without giving her anything, they were loved up and she was cool with it..she loved him so much that nothing about him pisses her off..

hmmm, so many times this my gf would go to visit him but because he doesn't have money she would transport herself...the guy then loved her.. Maybe because he was still broke.. I would then ask this bae if she cheats on him but she would say no, even to the extend that she doesn't club or do any social stuff because of his guy, she prays and encouraged him.

Fast forward to this time last year, the guy started making money ..bought cars and started building ..he has many investments.

Just last two months she called and was crying that the guy had broken up with her and I was like ...please calm down and tell me what transpired. .she said that the guy chatted her up to tell her that he likes light skinned ladies...and that he doesn't love her enough to marry her because of her skin colour..

I called the supposed bf and the guy was actually telling me he Will cheat on her if he eventually marries her...but this bae suffered with him all this while for 4years and he didn't notice her dark colour until he started making money.

Your "friend" never talk wetin she do. How are we sure its not your true life story sef?

By the way, I thought Slay Mamas said they were not bothered about marriage? Why the noise?

heheheehehehe #justpassingby

Kondomatic:
No guy leaves a GOOD woman who stood by him when he was poor.

Lemme Highlight Some Things.

1. Dating a broke guy doesn't mean you are a good woman

2. Dating a broke guy and building a future with a broke guy are not the same

3. Dating a guy because you've looked into his future and seen that he will turn out great is not love, dating, support or whatever you girls take it to be. It is an investment into his blessing with nothing and every investor losses.

4. If you date a guy when he was broke but didn't invest in him or support him(and prayer isn't the support I am talking about here, his mama prayers for him even in sleep) , he owe you nothing and can break up with you anytime

5. Dating a broke guy is like sponsoring a lady's education when she is not married to you, they come back with another guy instead of certificate most times.

i kinda agree with u a bit buh then again, the guh is a total nincompoop.....he didn't knw she ws black before abi. He just wasted 5yrs of her life knowingly

A lot of Nigerian men have low self-esteem. Can you imagine an African man saying he doesn't want a woman because she's not light skin? That is the definition of low self-esteem and self hate. This is why I tell women to not date broke men. Do not even let them BEEATHE on you. Unless the man is able to provide something, flee from his presence. Having money changes a lot of people, especially when they never had it in the first place.