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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) (645340 Views)
10 Myths About Introverts / Strictly Extroverts Whatsapp Group / 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by coveredchic(f): 4:18pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
Apus:Lol at the fact that you had to pretend to be extroverted. I wouldn't survive that. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by ghanc23(f): 5:42pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
being an introvert has some disadvantages
I can start a conservation or maintain it
people tink am not easy going, proud and can't be discussed with
presently is affecting my marriage cos I need communication to keep going |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 6:16pm On Jul 23, 2017 |
ghanc23: If people think you're proud and difficult to communicate with, despite being able to start and maintain conversations, then maybe the 'problem' isn't you but these people around you. Almost all introverts get that "proud label" but the truth is other people don't understand us is all. As for what is affecting your marriage, it's not clear how your need for communication is important to keep you going. I think you may have a certain misunderstanding about the word communication so it may be better if you make it clear. By the way, I posted on your thread and I still feel you're not making the whole communication issue clear. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 10:27am On Jul 25, 2017 |
Following the thread from the beginning with the argument that ensued, I decided to keep mute until everywhere was calm enough before I would post this piece (with modifications by me) that covers all that both parties here have been saying without igniting another battle. Hope you're patient enough to read it. The Modified Introvert A.k.a Extroverted Introvert Ref: https://lonerwolf.com/the-extroverted-introvert Sorry if this piece seems to long, I wrote it from a laptop. PS: Don't quote it, just mention the moniker for any contributions or questions 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by bubbleam: 10:39am On Jul 25, 2017 |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 11:12am On Jul 25, 2017 |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 11:21am On Jul 25, 2017 |
GloryIsaac: It's very nice of you to share the article. I, too, refrained from contributing to that little argument because I knew it was mostly a matter of opinion, choice-of-words and experience - all of which are relatively easily misinterpreted compared to facts. I'm glad everyone eventually made themselves clearer. Speaking partly on your post and drawing general conclusions, I think it might make sense to agree that firstly, degree of introversion determines how much change (or acting) an introvert can embrace. And this then further break down to "finally" locating one's true 'identity position' on the continuum scale. Secondly, introversion is introversion. It has its core nature but it also has peripheral attributes easily associated with it (e.g. Shyness, social anxiety, social withdrawal e.t.c.). While its core can never be changed nor outgrown (such as the need to recharge, and easily draining out in loud/large gatherings), some of the peripheral attributes get somewhat modified with change in personality, age, responsibility and/or environment. So as a summary, yes, Introverts can get to act differently or change some things about them with time (as coping mechanisms) but cannot exactly 'outgrow' introversion in its core sense. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by ariklawani(f): 9:19pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Am an Introvert. am not outgoing ,yet I always stay indoor watching Tv and making use of my phone when am not Working....I always need my time alone.Am often misunderstood .am quiet and private...plz,is there a lounge In Lagos for Introverts.?It will take an Introvert to understand me.. 1 Like |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by ariklawani(f): 9:24pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
corisande:Me too.thanks to my colleagues.that usually force me to mingle, |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by ariklawani(f): 9:27pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Being an Introvert is by nature. Most introverts are born in October and Mostly November. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 10:32pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
I was always of the opinion that shyness and introversion were separate things, so to see here that shyness is being thought of as an attribute or a trait of introversion is surprising, likewise with social anxiety. Introversion does not come with shyness and/or social anxiety, i don't think they are attributes or traits of introversion, Anyone (Extroverts and introverts) can be shy or have social anxiety. These are not traits nor attributes of introversion. 2 Likes |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 10:43pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
Giel:hmmmmmmm, this one is thought provoking sis, wanna lay more clarity on that, I can't remember ever meeting any 'shy extrovert'(though dosent mean they wouldn't be existing sha) |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 10:54pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
ghanc23:it can be q bit complex for a lady in a marriage, she is gonna have lots of people to deal with,, lots of wars to conquer, and battles to fight beginning with her husband (if he is not the temperament understanding type), then in-laws.....then she will also need to deal with her kids...I have been talking with various homes with temperament kinds of mixtures, lots of homes have broken up through this chqllenges .but you are expected to improve with modificqtions gradually as kids begin to set in . |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 10:56pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
DonOms: Exactly.. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 11:14pm On Jul 25, 2017 |
gidjah:Are you asking me to elucidate on why I said shyness and social anxiety aren't the same thing with introversion or are you asking me to explain why I said there anyone (extroverts included) can be shy? or on both? I'm sorry for asking, I need to understand you better to be able to explain well, |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by SaintMog(m): 2:29am On Jul 26, 2017 |
I will describe myself as 50/50. I start conversation well. I keep relationship but I hardly visit or go out on socials. Luckily for me, I'm a part time pastor in rccg. My being introverted assist me in study hence I have other commitments. But I'm trying now to up the 50% extro because I have just launched into entrepreneurship. 1 Like |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 4:58pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
Giel:both please, thanks |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by realtem(m): 5:17pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
Giel:kai, these introverts self , you're sorry for asking 1 Like |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 6:15pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
realtem: It's not an introvert behaviour jare, has nothing to do with introversion, it's a nairaland/chatting thing, I don't want anyone to misunderstand me and therefore reply me with anger or aggression. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by realtem(m): 6:33pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
Giel:Yeah, wise... Still i can't help but laugh when i read it. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 6:35pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
realtem: Lol, it's allowed, laugh away 1 Like |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 7:17pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
gidjah:All right coming up |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Weezybaby: 10:21pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
Hello All, newbie here!! Searched for this thread cos I jus lost yet another friend ... needed something to show me am normal.. That's by the way.. hoping for some realness here!! |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 10:29pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
Giel: Yes, your opinion is very correct and it is also 100% my opinion which I have shared here a number of times in the past (my previous posts on shyness and social anxiety are proof). To repeat, Introversion does not directly cause shyness and social anxiety, and are therefore not the same thing. Extroverts can very well suffer from shyness and social anxiety. My post (response to GloryIsaac) associated introversion with shyness and social anxiety, but I didn't say shyness and social anxiety are characteristics of introversion. DonOms: As quoted again, I mentioned shyness and social anxiety are peripheral attributes (i.e. related to but not central to) EASILY ASSOCIATED (i.e. though not a part of, but commonly found together). I intentionally used the term "peripheral attributes" because studies have shown over the years that more introverts than extroverts tend to suffer those things. And also to make clear to those saying "they outgrew introversion" that they were outgrowing something else and not exactly the 'bio-mental' nature of introversion in itself. I did stress introversion in itself cannot be outgrown or changed but shyness and social anxiety can be 'outgrown' given certain factors. I hope I have made my take clearer. 3 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 10:57pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
Weezybaby: Many introverts are notorious at losing friends as much as they are at not easily making them. You're as real as real comes even though you're among the minority in a loud extroverted world. Welcome aboard! |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 10:59pm On Jul 26, 2017 |
realtem: Lol. She's just being very polite. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by ekele99(m): 12:51am On Jul 27, 2017 |
7 money lessons to learn from jay-z http://www.wealth9ja.com.ng/2017/07/7-money-lessons-we-can-learn-from-jay-z.html |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Dsholla: 8:52am On Jul 27, 2017 |
Haylo my introv family! I guess we cld create a whatsapp forum to enable us pour our heartache, memories and experiences for closer monitoring and advices.... more like i cnt relate with any sort of pple except those who understand and knws how I feel |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jul 27, 2017 |
Yes.... Hello all... been seeing this thread but just read through some few pages of late. didnt know it was this interesting I am a newbie... 1 Like |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 3:58pm On Jul 27, 2017 |
Because Introversion has almost always been mistaken for social awkwardness Shyness and some disorders such as Social Anxiety Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder and even Social Phobia, I thought it cool to do a concise expository on the matter. The latin words from which Introversion was derived is translated as "To turn Inwards." And this means to "withdraw from the world and keep one own's company and focus on internal thoughts and feelings." While extroverts gain energy in social gatherings, introverts expend (use up) energy. This is why introverts tend to quickly retreat to solitude at every opportunity; it's often referred to as "to recharge." The reason for this is largely attributed to the Reticular Activating System in the brain which is responsible for arousal levels. In introverts, arousal levels are very high compared to extroverts. This means the introvert absorbs plenty information from the environment whereas the extrovert doesn't as much. Dopamine also plays its role too but this will get longer if it is discussed. The cause of the biggest confusion about introversion is probably because people think everyone has to be either fully introverted or fully extroverted. This has never been so. According to Dr. Carl G. Jung, no human can be completely introvert or completely extrovert. It is also rumoured that Dr. Jung said anyone who thinks otherwise is probably mad. We all exist along a continuum. So the idea is that introversion has degree. Traits of introversion include Thoughtfulness, Self-Awareness, Private Emotions, Observant, Enjoys Solitude and Quiet around unfamiliar people/environment. Shyness is defined as the social awkwardness characterised by fear and embarrassment while in the company of other people. Shy people avoid interactions wth other people just like introverts but for different reasons. The introvert can interact just fine without fear, anxiety or embarrassment but simply avoids it because it is demanding and tedious and "seems unnecessary." So the shy person wants company but finds it difficult to make it happen while the introvert CAN INTERACT JUST FINE BUT DOESN'T WANT TO - He/She simply doesn't want it and doesn't secretly crave it (this is why an introvert is completely fine with being confined to a room for weeks without feeling a lack of company). Just as leadership is easily associated to extroverts (though introverts can be excellent leaders too) it is in similar way that shyness is associated with introverts (yes, there are plenty shy extroverts). So introverts are neither inherently shy nor socially anxious. Almost all extroverts find it hard to grasp the introversion concept and hence call introverts all sorts like shy, awkward, social disordered etc. They also can hardly understand why an introvert locks him/herself up in a room for hours or even days without missing other's company. You should know though, many introverts like being around people they are close to and interact well with them. More importantly, they enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with familiar people. In the hope that this doesn't look ridiculously too long, I hope I have been able to put clarity into the differences between introversion and shyness; and why the confusion about introverts seems to persist. References: https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-origin-of-the-word-introversion https://www.verywell.com/signs-you-are-an-introvert-2795427 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 12:13pm On Jul 28, 2017 |
Dsholla: Hello Dsholla, The What'sApp group had often been suggested here but unfortunately, a number of us feel it isn't necessary since many introverts like it private and also because this thread seem adequate enough. However, if you do create such group and announce here, those who do not mind can join. |
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 12:14pm On Jul 28, 2017 |
wonderfulwonder: It can be very interesting and informative, yes. You're welcome. |
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