Zeze06:


How can a man, a full grown adult, a responsible married man, allow his relatives (dad, mum, brother, sister, uncle, auntie or under any relationship definition) harass his wife for any reason whatsoever

Truly not all "men" are men...

most men are like that. They want to please dia family members at the cost of his nuclear family( wife and kids)

See my sister, is not too good to be close to our n laws. sorry for my proverb, Yoruba use to say something like. Ano buruku ko se ni, Omo buruku se fe meaning a bad in law is not good to have but a bad husband is allow. Please I want to tell u that adage is wrong to me, because bad in laws can be avoid but bad husband one will forever live it.I will advise that u avoid them to the call. If possible relocate. Make sure u distance urself from them. As to your husband in as much as he did not depride u of any right. Let him and his sister handle it, in fact he is the only one that can stop the insult. As for u, insulting them is add salt to the injury. But prayers and ur advise to ur husband will fight them indirectly and place them where they belong. Don't fight them, Don't insult them. Please avoid them. God will keep ur home.

Guyman02:
The reality here is that your husband is using his sisters to tame you, it seems you are of the domineering type who sees herself as being very 'smart' to be in charge and thinks of themselves as more knowledgeable than the man? He will just look away and allow his sisters to come at you and he will feign 'bitterness and frustration' at them.

Your in-laws wont speak bad of you if your husband did not give them the information to be used against you. You need to start putting your husband in front as head of the family and not try to take his place by fighting his battles for him with his siblings because you think you are capable of confronting them.

When it comes to issues of his family stay in the background and give him your suggestions behind the scene, stop exchanging words with your inlaws in your office or in public and when they talk back in the presence of your staff you feel hurt and start crying in your closet.

''There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing.''

Its probably because your in-laws dont trust you as you may have shown signs of being selfish, are you among the type of women who do things without their husbands knowledge because they want to 'protect' themselves in future?

Check yourself, there is definitely something you are not doing right in your marriage and when you start doing it right, your husband will step up to protect you as it is within his ability to call his siblings and your in-laws to order in matters concerning you.
Cheer up and learn new ways to build your home and those who speak ill of you today will be the same people to speak good of you tomorrow.
Dont quit yet!

see conclusion o

humblemikel:

all these prayer warriors in the house

prayers change a lot of things. am a living witness to this . am not the daddy GO, Bishop or apostle type. am my own prophet. and it works for me. try it.

First of all, how your husband gives out money should be your business, you need to look into his finance for real, seriously I dunno about you but if am in your shoes, I will make sure he doesn't give out huge sum of money to people for no tangle reason, talk more of those his Aunties talking shiit about you, if you play your game well, you can stop him from giving them even a dim at all and later on, you will see them coming to you for forgiveness, that's how it's works. Its psychology.

2ndly, you need to stop caring about gossip, seriously who cares about peoples opinion? they can say all they like but its at your back, don't get sleepless night over what they are saying, as it stands they are achieving their aim, let them talk but you are better than them, don't call them, don't associate with them, don't talk to them, just distance yourself completely from them, they will come running to you for forgiveness if you do all these.

Lastly, warn those his aunties to stop coming to your house or to your workplace, yes issue the warning, ban them seriously from coming and be aggressive about it.

When you show them that you are not soft, they will never take you for granted again, be than mean wife to them, they will respect you.

If they can't respect you, they should at least fear you.


cc:Mrsbimbo123

Op do not I repeat do not handle them for ur husband. If they insult u openly, keep quiet and walk out on them as a sign of proving a point. If ur husband want to give his family d whole money he has in his account, do not object. Let him do so because if u stop or try to stop him, he will use that against u someday. If he is not wise enough to handle situations, I wonder y he is d head. If any of them lay curses on u, send it back to them immediately, that is not an insult. But if it is just insults and embarrassment, then walk out on them. That is also another way of saying ' I won't take shit from u'. Some in-laws are just not it. Mother Inlaw and father inlaw wey suppose worry don die. Na agbaya oshi dey worry. Na u dey think am. If its me, I will just do as if dey don't exist. Respect is reciprocal. I respect u and expect u to know ur place. Peace

Narldon:
In-laws

so that wen you also becomes mother in law and behave like that they drop you like that too

Hello ma'am,pls dont do what ur husband told u to do.ur husband might be a good man,but i guess he loves u.he shouldnt allow any 3rd person interfere in ur marriage,may be he scolds u in their presence.like someone said,call on any other family member of ur husband and tell him or her what u are passing tru.
then talk about it to ur husband again and tell him his aunts are killing u slowly.if he loves u as u claim,he shuld do sometin against it.
and pray without ceasing.

This is small problem.

Let your husband cut them to their sizes.

Its your husband responsibility to bail you out of the rubbish.

MrsBimbo123:
My father in law is late (RIP), he was a good man and he never stressed me. When things were really rough for my husband, I didn't see any family member, in fact no one came to visit us except my father in law, my mother in law too is late.

My problem is my husband's two Aunties, for 2 years now they have been making my life miserable, always saying bad things about me to people. Someone in my husband's family told me that they are behaving like that because they think I am the one collecting my husband's money but God knows. They are always demanding large sum of money from my husband & I don't mind (it's none of business, even though my husband complain to me most times).

There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing. One thing I will never accept from any human being is someone disrespecting my mom, one of his aunt was talking anyhow to my mom few months ago (my mom is very old & she doesn't make trouble). They also talk anyhow to me in public and in the presence of my staff that I will even start crying due to the embarrassment.

I have complained to my husband several times & he told me to do whatever I wish to do to them but It's not in my nature to disrespect elderly people, they are really pushing me, if they continue behaving like this I might disrespect them.

I can remember how my husband's family members tell me that women don't stay long in their family before they go but which woman will stay long with the way they treat them.

I didn't know from the beginning, I have been with my husband for 5years now, he is a very good person, in fact he told me himself that he wish he has no family member, he also told me that he can't talk to them about the way they are behaving.

I will appreciate any good opinion, God bless you all.

No human advice can be better than Gods intervention...why not put them in the hands of God. Report them to God and you see what will happen even within a week.

Both of you need to visit a marriage counsellor who can educate you how to handle relatives.

i will advise you go and the watch the film "War Room" then come and share your testimony

MrsBimbo123:
My father in law is late (RIP), he was a good man and he never stressed me. When things were really rough for my husband, I didn't see any family member, in fact no one came to visit us except my father in law, my mother in law too is late.

My problem is my husband's two Aunties, for 2 years now they have been making my life miserable, always saying bad things about me to people. Someone in my husband's family told me that they are behaving like that because they think I am the one collecting my husband's money but God knows. They are always demanding large sum of money from my husband & I don't mind (it's none of business, even though my husband complain to me most times).

There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing. One thing I will never accept from any human being is someone disrespecting my mom, one of his aunt was talking anyhow to my mom few months ago (my mom is very old & she doesn't make trouble). They also talk anyhow to me in public and in the presence of my staff that I will even start crying due to the embarrassment.

I have complained to my husband several times & he told me to do whatever I wish to do to them but It's not in my nature to disrespect elderly people, they are really pushing me, if they continue behaving like this I might disrespect them.

I can remember how my husband's family members tell me that women don't stay long in their family before they go but which woman will stay long with the way they treat them.

I didn't know from the beginning, I have been with my husband for 5years now, he is a very good person, in fact he told me himself that he wish he has no family member, he also told me that he can't talk to them about the way they are behaving.

I will appreciate any good opinion, God bless you all.

if you don't take the courage now and confront them, you will eternally be oppressed. I guess u have prayed enough; now seek the consent of ur mum and ur siblings since ur husband has given you the go ahead, you must raise up and place them where they should be. If they threaten you, do same to them, if they insult you or your mum, insult them too and If they hit you, hit them too. Personally, I believe in Christ but I believe in the law of Moses.- you hit me, I hit twice.

highmood:
if you don't take the courage now and confront them, you will eternally be oppressed. I guess u have prayed enough; now seek the consent of ur mum and ur siblings since ur husband has given you the go ahead, you must raise up and place them where they should be. If they threaten you, do same to them, if they insult you or your mum, insult them too and If they hit you, hit them too. Personally, I believe in Christ but I believe in the law of Moses.- you hit me, I hit twice.

Its the husband's job...I wish i could get his number to speak to his senses..

.

If u love urself don't try uttering a single word back @ them bcs wateva u say nw will be held against u everytime but rather let ur hubby make his stand, until he does dat, pls neva respond bt always pray nd hand them over to God.
I tried it once nd I'm still paying d price, I wish I had kept mum dat day.
Even tho my hubby didn't see any wrong in my action bt dat family member still refers to it till 2day nd I hate been reminded of dat particular day.

eezeribe:
you also wrote that "his aunties are always demanding money from him and it's non of your business,even though he sometimes complains to you"...

'And he told you to do whatever you like to his aunties,because there is nothing he can do about it '..

Both of you are indifferent to each other's plight,and until you both come together and figure out the best way to handle the situation...
There is nothing we nairalanders can do about it....
This is my own suggestion...
#God bless you too.

you nailed it!

TKDEE:
even me...na God hand we dey even me...na God hand we dey

ah dey tell u my brother

Marriage issues. Team #babydaddy

MrsBimbo123:
My father in law is late (RIP), he was a good man and he never stressed me. When things were really rough for my husband, I didn't see any family member, in fact no one came to visit us except my father in law, my mother in law too is late.

My problem is my husband's two Aunties, for 2 years now they have been making my life miserable, always saying bad things about me to people. Someone in my husband's family told me that they are behaving like that because they think I am the one collecting my husband's money but God knows. They are always demanding large sum of money from my husband & I don't mind (it's none of business, even though my husband complain to me most times).

There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing. One thing I will never accept from any human being is someone disrespecting my mom, one of his aunt was talking anyhow to my mom few months ago (my mom is very old & she doesn't make trouble). They also talk anyhow to me in public and in the presence of my staff that I will even start crying due to the embarrassment.

I have complained to my husband several times & he told me to do whatever I wish to do to them but It's not in my nature to disrespect elderly people, they are really pushing me, if they continue behaving like this I might disrespect them.

I can remember how my husband's family members tell me that women don't stay long in their family before they go but which woman will stay long with the way they treat them.

I didn't know from the beginning, I have been with my husband for 5years now, he is a very good person, in fact he told me himself that he wish he has no family member, he also told me that he can't talk to them about the way they are behaving.

I will appreciate any good opinion, God bless you all.

Lady, grow a backbone already.

Set an example for your children, if any, that shows that one shouldn't tolerate bullies.

MrsBimbo123:
My father in law is late (RIP), he was a good man and he never stressed me. When things were really rough for my husband, I didn't see any family member, in fact no one came to visit us except my father in law, my mother in law too is late.

My problem is my husband's two Aunties, for 2 years now they have been making my life miserable, always saying bad things about me to people. Someone in my husband's family told me that they are behaving like that because they think I am the one collecting my husband's money but God knows. They are always demanding large sum of money from my husband & I don't mind (it's none of business, even though my husband complain to me most times).

There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing. One thing I will never accept from any human being is someone disrespecting my mom, one of his aunt was talking anyhow to my mom few months ago (my mom is very old & she doesn't make trouble). They also talk anyhow to me in public and in the presence of my staff that I will even start crying due to the embarrassment.

I have complained to my husband several times & he told me to do whatever I wish to do to them but It's not in my nature to disrespect elderly people, they are really pushing me, if they continue behaving like this I might disrespect them.

I can remember how my husband's family members tell me that women don't stay long in their family before they go but which woman will stay long with the way they treat them.

I didn't know from the beginning, I have been with my husband for 5years now, he is a very good person, in fact he told me himself that he wish he has no family member, he also told me that he can't talk to them about the way they are behaving.

I will appreciate any good opinion, God bless you all.

Hello ma'am, it's a simple thing just sit your man and talk sense into his head. For crying out loud he's suppose to protect you from all angle irrespective of whatever anyone has to say.

A man is suppose to protect his home from crazy family members. Its so funny seeing tall and hefty men who go shivering when relatives come into their homes causing so much confusion.

Finally, talk sense into your man to address the issue as a man and mind you it requires spiritual fortification by both of you. Pray hard, see your pastor to pray along with you as your man fixes the issue boldly because you never can tell, they (ur in-laws ) can start spiritual attack as time goes on.

Shalom!!

Headlesschicken:
Replace words wiv action yuh husband has given u d go ahead order.... or just continue taking d crap,d choice x yuhs.... U Berra man up and mark yuh territory... Choice x yuhs...

It's not her place to replace words with action or mark territory, it's her husband's place.

What's she going to fight her husband's family for when he is alive, not deaf, not blind and not dumb. It's his responsibility as the man of the house to protect her.

Her husband is afraid to act for fear of the unknown yet he is pushing her forward.

My advice is; just make sure he secures your future financially.

On the family issues, avoid his aunties like plaque, act busy when they visit. They don't live with you so it can be done. Let him sort his family.

Rorachy:
First of all, how your husband gives out money should be your business, you need to look into his finance for real, seriously I dunno about you but if am in your shoes, I will make sure he doesn't give out huge sum of money to people for no tangle reason, talk more of those his Aunties talking shiit about you, if you play your game well, you can stop him from giving them even a dim at all and later on, you will see them coming to you for forgiveness, that's how it's works. Its psychology.

2ndly, you need to stop caring about gossip, seriously who cares about peoples opinion? they can say all they like but its at your back, don't get sleepless night over what they are saying, as it stands they are achieving their aim, let them talk but you are better than them, don't call them, don't associate with them, don't talk to them, just distance yourself completely from them, they will come running to you for forgiveness if you do all these.

Lastly, warn those his aunties to stop coming to your house or to your workplace, yes issue the warning, ban them seriously from coming and be aggressive about it.

When you show them that you are not soft, they will never take you for granted again, be than mean wife to them, they will respect you.

If they can't respect you, they should at least fear you.


cc:Mrsbimbo123

Hmmm, it doesn't always work that way o sis, maybe in movies sha bcs in all seriousness no man likes seeing his family member been insulted by their wives.
D best way to treat trouble seeking inlaw(s) is to be silent nd be in good tune wit ur hubby. Later they will see hw much of a nuisance they av been.

ReneeNuttall:


Ywc,if she goes ahead and do what her husbands says,the whole blame will still fall on her.After all blood is always thicker than water.

Blood... I pray she understands

BumbleBee2ice:

Hmmm, it doesn't always work that way o sis, maybe in movies sha bcs in all seriousness no man likes seeing his family member been insulted by their wives.
D best way to treat trouble seeking inlaw(s) is to be silent nd be in good tune wit ur hubby. Later they will see hw much of a nuisance they av been.

Thank you ma...

MrsBimbo123:
My father in law is late (RIP), he was a good man and he never stressed me. When things were really rough for my husband, I didn't see any family member, in fact no one came to visit us except my father in law, my mother in law too is late.

My problem is my husband's two Aunties, for 2 years now they have been making my life miserable, always saying bad things about me to people. Someone in my husband's family told me that they are behaving like that because they think I am the one collecting my husband's money but God knows. They are always demanding large sum of money from my husband & I don't mind (it's none of business, even though my husband complain to me most times).

There was a day one of my husband's aunt told my husband to always tell them about anything he is doing. One thing I will never accept from any human being is someone disrespecting my mom, one of his aunt was talking anyhow to my mom few months ago (my mom is very old & she doesn't make trouble). They also talk anyhow to me in public and in the presence of my staff that I will even start crying due to the embarrassment.

I have complained to my husband several times & he told me to do whatever I wish to do to them but It's not in my nature to disrespect elderly people, they are really pushing me, if they continue behaving like this I might disrespect them.

I can remember how my husband's family members tell me that women don't stay long in their family before they go but which woman will stay long with the way they treat them.

I didn't know from the beginning, I have been with my husband for 5years now, he is a very good person, in fact he told me himself that he wish he has no family member, he also told me that he can't talk to them about the way they are behaving.

I will appreciate any good opinion, God bless you all.

start speaking and standing up for yourselves. Maintain a United front as a couple and use the your head.... don't be scared....use that little advice/idea popping up in your head







By the way, Sniper is now #450

orisirisi! Na you turn yourself to doormat for their face nau. Change face and attitude for the weres! Na only twice you need to treat the fotrkup for them to get the message. Change face for them , otherwise, they will eventually frustrate you like Olori Wuraola was frustrated.

It is not too late...set your rules and live by them! To start with, let them apply for visa before visiting...the can sue you for denial! Whew!

Bolustical:
My advice comes in form of a question?

Who did you get married to? Your husband or them?

Just make sure your husband keeps loving you and ignore your in-laws.

Avoid them not because you are afraid but because you cannot shout

Leave them to time and God, most wicked in-laws often go back to their vomits (sooner or later, they are coming to bow for you)

I am telling you this not because I know anything about marriage but I learnt it from my mum.

Exactly d same thing happened wit my mum too, come nd see two aunties fighting for my mum's attention nw coming wit gist they ought to av gisted her all those years they made her enemy.
They made her know their mum's (my grandma) role nd vices in my parents relationship bt God pass her.
My parents marriage is well over 30yrs nw nd still waxing stronger.

OP, looking at the way I understand ur plight I think ur husband really need to save guide u and his marriage against any extetnal forces. ur hubby must grow up and defend u to the core frm his offensive simbling. Why cant both of u make a concrete decision on how to handle them. ? They way ur husband treat u is the way his simbling wit take u. Sit ur husband down in d middle of the night. Let him know that u are his piority and ur kids too bfor his sisters. Kilodeee gan. Ur hubby suld be the one u look back nd u see him at ur back not that he will start tellin u to handle the battle on ur own. Is he so timid lik that. ? Ur peace of mind suld be his concern

supersystemsng:



Thank you ma...

Uwc