Immatex:
If I should lend a voice.

Your husband living apart from you and your kids provided good grounds for infidelity.

Those moments he returns home from work with no one to talk to, no warmth, affection and properly no strength to do himself a nice meal.

Those times you had to care for your work and kids in your other residence, he would surf the net, think of the attractive soft spoken ladies all around then his defense gets weakened every passing day.

He begins to see nothing wrong in a having a friend less busy as his wife. He presumes a little hi won't hurt and so sow the seed he is now harvesting bringing devastation to his home.

But woman, you share in the blame even though innocent for now. You must accept to make more sacrifices before giving up on him. You must also forgive him if he shows true remorse and repentance.

I recommend you live at the same home as your husband- the kids will keep him busy and you will keep an eye on him.

This act of he's should not make you forget the past from the beginning. You have kids, so think of their stability before reaching a conclusion.

I will also advice you against becoming the judge on the ladies relationship. Just mind your family and drive her away from to where she came from.

Hope my advice would meet you well.

Mindfulness:


And then what? He will be extra nice to you again so you will open your legs or he will transfer the blame onto you so you will be the one to apologize at the end of it all.

Take revenge on the mistress if you feel like it. Maybe, just maybe, it will help you in the licking of your wounds.

supersystemsng:


You have a fixated mindset that's why i chose not to quote you.

I still maintain my position, which is that a man cheats doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife..

Any other thing you asked is too technical for me....I told you howmy folks divorced when i was Nine and the effects it had on me..

I believe my simple positions clarifies everything...

The beans don don, make i go harvest cassava i want take chop am

Lisaflex:


It would be really nice if u would gv ds same advice if it wer 2 be d oda way round.

Guitarlife:


Your assumption that the distance caused the infidelity is fallacious.

We have countless men working far away from home and are faithfull.

Its not everyone that is married that has that priedge of staying with thier families so try to expand your horizon.

People work offshore and are transferred to different locations and its normal so lets not excuse the mans infidelity.

Now to the OP. Stop listening to some fools here who wanna ruin your home.
Some of the women here asking you to divorce ypur husband take far more bullshit from their huabands to secure thier home.

From ur write up, your husband is apologetic so just be wise. This is the time to win him over. Let him know the implication and negative exposure his infidelity causes.

Do not leave your home after 3 children , that will be very stupid and the other lady would have achieved her aim if you did that.

Lastly some people will argue that if the tables were turned people would have advised the ma to leave the woman . YES! I would not hesitate to advise a man to divorce his cheating wife. Its not chauvinism its simply nature . A married woman cheating has far more dangerous repercussion than a married man cheating like risk of fathering a bastard because when multiple men sleep with a woman it becomes difficult to know whom the real father of the child is also men are not as emotionally vulnerable as women.

So OP be wise.

generationz:
Eez well
Op watch your back, be very careful the lady is capable of anything as long as you have her secrets

Things dey happen. Op this thing you have just said is nothing new under the sun, there are thousands of ladies who are engaged or in relationships screwing their best friends, CO workers, boss or some random married man.
it seems ladies cheat much more than guys these days.

There is no good person, we all have some demented, dark, part of us that is being suppress for two reasons
We are naive on how to release it or
We are scared of how society will see us.

To your topic,


What if you release the evidence and they later reconcile and get married, the thrill of revenge would have died and you'll end up looking stupid.

You shouldn't leave your husband but you can brilliantly use what you have to blackmail him and even cash out on it(maybe buying you a land or car) because at the end of the day you'll still forgive your husband at least get something from the guilty feeling while it lasts. You are a God right now, your decision can make or Mar destinies take advantage of the situation to be appeased.

You can also blackmail the lady for your silence ( if your mind reach that one), after all what's the guarantee that the fiance won't forgive her.

fmorrah:
If her life actually depend on that marriage ND her fiance, ND u destroy it, she won't hesitate to destroy ur life too, when she has notn to loose again, why don't u let the Kama serve round, and it's ur marriage for many years back, why don't you fight to save it, u don't have to fight ur husband, it's the devil's work,at this junction, any action of urs can take u down (destroy ur life) or set it right for you.. God lead u thru.

FemiEddy:

My wife has three kids for me, And commits adultery, I get to know, firstly, dna test of my kids, secondly, I sit her down and ask her why.......u might kill urs, but that's what I will do.....tanx

Lisaflex:





Blackmail is a vry dangerous game...U mk urslf a target, n der's no way of knwing d length a persn wld go 2 protect his/her secrets.

Lisaflex:



@ last paragraph....2 slap u jes dey hungry me

honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know. So with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

honestwife:
Hello house,
..
my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

STARGREEN:

It is wrong quite sure, but sometimes mistake Occurs. Remember without you in your family it is no longer complete.

Mindfulness:
By the way, I would not inform her fiancé immediately. I would inform her that I have delicate material that I will use against her and tell her that I will leak it in due time so that she will torment herself. And then I would decide when and if I would leak it but I would take my time. Some enemies must die a slow death.

Evaberry:
Send those stuffs to her fiance so that the young man can avoid making the biggest mistake of his life.

but as for your husband meeting you at home, My dear please leave that marriage it's not safe.

your husband can even resort to physical abuse because of anger.

Cheaters should not be given second chances.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

but op sha you are a correct hacker o, see the way you monitored the man just so you can catch him, lol.

This is why women should always be independent in marriage, so that when your husband screws up, you can leave without thinking of how to take care of yourself and kids.

Let's be honest if it was the husband who caught his wife cheating would you advise the husband to stay with her, why the hypocrisy and double standard? some1 above even advise the op to give the cheating dimwit a good treat. is it when your husband starts giving you numerous std Or impregnates another woman is that when you will leave?

Stallione:
So ua advising her to leave her marriage.U see ur life,bad advice/friend...

kennygee:
Your husband is the problem. If you're able to deal with this mistress, there will be other mistresses and your husband will get smarter in hiding his infidelities from you.

The issue is, there are more books and talks and advice and seminars preparing women to be the ideal wives and less materials or even almost non existent ones to teach men how to be good husbands.

It takes two to make a marriage work.

FemiEddy:

That is the first mistake of you ladies, men are not animals......u just posted what I don't even have an adjective to qualify.....its your opinion tho, but leaving marriage with three kids isn't a good one from u, have u seen vision that the husband will beat her or what

kennypedia:

Madam I will never insult your mum and am not the type. And you started the shit first saying I am not from a good home tantamount to you insulting my parents but I have seen you're sentimental. I mean no harm to you but you showed otherwise. I only wanted you to see marriage more than ordinary conflict blames don't move it forward, agreement to overcome certain trials does.

kennygee:
Your husband is the problem. If you're able to deal with this mistress, there will be other mistresses and your husband will get smarter in hiding his infidelities from you.

The issue is, there are more books and talks and advice and seminars preparing women to be the ideal wives and less materials or even almost non existent ones to teach men how to be good husbands.
Hmmm, u r funny. If d cheating lady is ur sister, will u give d wife d same advice of telling d fiancée abt d incident? Think b4 u write pls!
It takes two to make a marriage work.

FemiEddy:
I am not married yet, so am not fit to give you an advice, but at least I can reason well and have seen things so this is my opinion
Firstly, Leave the lady and her husband alone, Karma always comes back to hunt it's victim, she will reap the fruit of her labour, mind ur business and give ursef peace of mind.
Secondly, ur husband, u know his weak point, maybe pounded yam, or one food, or maybe d oda room, give him a good treat, after he is calm and relaxed, confront him, just ask him why he did it, he will tell u , don't raise your voice o, u already have three kids, those are ur treasure. If you indeed love ur husband, please try, it's hard, but try for the sake of the kids
My opinion

honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know. So with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home