If he cant come to your home, then you should report yourself to their home! yeah its freeworld, what a man can do a woman can do, go and pay his groom price.

you can as well take your parents to his house. and introduce them to him. play boy everywhere you goooo

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

ur lucky ur not my sister, I would have given u a very dirty slap for this.

deepwater:


Are you guys from same tribe?



The guy might genuinely love her but his parent might frown at her tribe I. E if she is from another tribe.

Many people meet love far from their root, maybe at church or in school or perhaps another town where they grow up and chances of the partner being from another tribe is very high. (myself a perfect example)

It becomes jolly and rosy at the start since it is bf and gf things but when the time of settling comes they might be opposed by reality of folks not accepting tribe.

For my case, it wasn't an issue, but it is less significant as I have seen so many true love thwarted due to tribal difference.

The guy needs to man up and face his fears.

Another point is what is the age difference, people don't consider this fact when dating but it is very important in Marriage I

True but 6 years haba the guy should have freed her if he had no plan. anything relationship more than 3 years is a waste of time, by then you should be able to tell whether you're marrying or not, My brother too is in one like that, both AS, deep down am just like they are wasting each other's time but wetin concern me, I can't warn someone 3 times

You expect him to go and see your parents when you are already living like married folks.. hian! Sorry he won't, he will keep posting you till he find someone better Than you and then kick you out. So it's better you do the first kicking so that his brain can function well if he truly loves you.

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

Since u said finance isn't the problem then get to know what his fears are, if he is still dragging you back then give him some space and act like you don't care, try to meet other people and give him the notion that if he isn't interested anymore some people are. You can't wait for him forever and don't make the mistake of moving in with him cos if you do so forget the wedding u longed for...

the earlier you start a nu relationship, the better for you..if aftr six years he is still thinking about it...then it's not worth waiting

What is the feminist opinion about this?

Let me go str8 to d 'solution' whenever he vist u or u visit him, after some discussion, enjoyment and funny stuff together, tell him boldly THAT DADDY AM NOT GETTING YOUNGER AGAIN AND ANY BREAK-UP FROM NOW WILL BE THE END, JUST PLEASE COME AND SEE MY PARENT, OR AM I JUST UR DULL, OR MAYBE UR DONT LOVE ME AS U CLAIM, then observe his mood, if he is ready u will no(real love wont hesitate to reply positely) if his reply positive, make him more happy but if it negative then ask him boldly WHY? If the reason is reasonable, both of should decide, if is not(excuse like financial aspect, the fear of marriage problem, children isue, or how to mentain and put the family in order) then kindly advice him that man cant have everything in the world to build a home, and promise him that u will be submissive and help him in ur own little way(everything nobe fight and quarrel, litle explain and advice will do)

6yrs! You bera move

makydebbie:
So I don't know what you're waiting for. After all these years. You better wake up and tell the guy you both aint getting younger. And you guys are more like a couple so that's why he's relaxed. How can you be with a guy for six years and your parents haven't met him?



My dear you cannot eat your cake and have it. It's either he makes up his mind for door knocking or he takes the exit. Tell him what he should do and you're not about to wait another six years before you guys break up and you understand he's not ready.

Oh, so women NEED marriage more than men?

Why can't women wait indefinitely until whenever the 'spirit' or 'circumstances' tell them to marry?

Yet they want to force men to be faithful, or threaten men that they too can be unfaithful too in marriage (imagine the konkonbility!).

You people are ridiculous. If you don't understand why men (especially financially capable men who know how to enjoy their hard earned money) hesitate to get married to you "modern' over-entitled things, then you need deliverance.

being together for 6+ Years is not d issue here, one thing that you should have figured out all these years from him is "if u're d kind of woman dat he dreamt of spending his life with"

A guy may spend several years dating u and feel comfortable all around you but he may not consider u to be d ideal wife material for him. dat is why pple date. we date to find out things about our partner and to discover if they see us as d ideal one for dem.

whenever a guy or a lady refuses to commit to d one he/she claims to love and has been dating for a long time without any cogent reason, then he/she may not be seeing such partner as his/her ideal marriage mate.

u wasted over six Years of ur life with him without having an idea of who his ideal woman is. don't pressure him to give u what he doesn't want to give u willingly because he may use such pressure from u as an excuse to make ur life a living hell should things no work out the way he expects.

op ,u opened a new nairaland account for this, people like u go to opera winfery show wearing mask,
when will Nairaland start using their original moniker to open a new thread and post?

ScotFree:
[b]IS IT BY FORCE [/b]Move on! Were you tied down there? Later you'll be looking for he village aunty that has tied your destiny. And some men of God will collect your tithe and still put you punishment of fasting while they eat chicken and wine with youe tithe. Have sense and move, or be moved!

Ama'm

OP, after 6 years of dating you should've gone past the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. You shouldn't have to be begging a man to see your parents. Even with all your efforts to get him to go, he's not yielding. Actions or lack thereof, speaks louder than words. He might have another woman somewhere that he wants to marry. Please don't listen to anyone who says you should get pregnant for him to manipulate him into marrying you.

Billyonaire:


Very simple. Get pregnant and keep the pregnancy.

This is terrible advice. Having a baby for a man doesn't mean he will stay. It's people like you who advice women to get pregnant for men who're obviously not ready to take on the responsibility and end up leaving them to be single mothers. If he's not ready for marriage, what makes you think he's ready for a baby?

KingRex1:
Invite your parents over, invite him too.. Start from there

hummm...quite unafrican na. lol.

professional:
lets work for you, engage us for your M&E designs

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

Please what can I do ??

You're a silly naive girl for a 30+ year old. Never ever ask a man for marriage. Never. You've sold yourself cheap in the first place. No remedy for you. Your boo is only looking for someone better while using you to pass time. Better move on. Smh.

Jst tell him that a guy with his family came to see yr parent about u that thy want to marry u nd yr parent called u in there midst nd u told them to give 3 month, frm there u can get his reaction then u decide wht next to do with yr life

Hedonistically:


Oh, so women NEED marriage more than men?

Why can't women wait indefinitely until whenever the 'spirit' or 'circumstances' tell them to marry?

Yet they want to force men to be faithful, or threaten men that they too can be unfaithful too in marriage (imagine the konkonbility!).

You people are ridiculous. If you don't understand why men (including financially capable men) hesitate to get married to you "modern' over-entitled things, then you need deliverance.

Bro, you're confused.

Not0fThis:

This is terrible advice. Having a baby for a man doesn't mean he will stay. It's people like you who advice women to get pregnant for men who're obviously not ready to take on the responsibility and end up leaving them to be single mothers. If he's not ready for marriage, what makes you think he's ready for a baby?

It is my opinion, and should be respected.

thesicilian:
He feels too comfortable with you, that's why. Set him up to make it look like other serious guys are coming around and you are seriously considering accepting their offer. In that way he'll either let you go, or take the relationship to the next level. And that is exactly what you need now: a firm decision. Don't be afraid of losing him. Life is too short to waste 6yrs in one spot.

i bet u, he will let her go.

ceejay80s:
op ,u opened a new nairaland account for this, people like u go to opera winfery show wearing mask,
when will Nairaland start using their original moniker to open a new thread and post?

That is not your business. What an unintelligent way to address the issue on ground!

makydebbie:
Bro, you're confused.

Lol. I rather be confused than be a "modern" Nigerian girl. God forbid.

Girl use yr head, u r above 30, better get pregnant for him n let him know after5 /6 months then he will know option. If he ask of yr period pretend as though u r seeing . after much tell him u mixed yr period. Then go for test n get him d result. Inform yr people immediately too. Then go n give testimony. Make no girl do am to me though I go soon marry

I think the guy might want you to take in before marriage.

so you have been giving him free kpomo all these 6 years
without him booking your flight?

Hedonistically:

Lol I rather be confused than be a "modern" Nigerian girl.

Good. At least I'm not a nigerian girl. So you can transfer your aggression to someone else.

macphilip:
so you have been giving him free kpomo all these 6 years
without him booking your flight?

Honestly. Most brains stop working when they fall in love.

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

Forget any advise, just get pregnant for him

The chances are that if you stand your ground of making him commit himself or letting go of you, he'll take a stand which will clearly show you his motives and intention towards you. As it stands, you dont know his mind. AND i think it is better for you to know where you are going, so that you can avoid a situation where you are neither going forward nor backward.