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How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Elseductive: 8:29pm On Sep 14, 2017
WhiteKettle:
I think he's considering your age. His people might prefer he gets a younger person as a wife not one who is almost his age mate. I think you've lost this one. Girls date your elders not your mates.

Wrong approach dear, do whatever that rocks your boat, if dating your elders is what av worked for you that doesn't mean dating ones mate can't work out, until the OP spills out more details on the issue one can never be assertive as to what's really holding d guy back, lots of unanswered questions OP needs to answer.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Ishilove: 8:29pm On Sep 14, 2017
Billyonaire:


Very simple. Get pregnant and keep the pregnancy.
Yasmina85, ignore this destiny wasting advice.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by braine: 8:32pm On Sep 14, 2017
Hedonistically:
But for real, for a successful Nigerian man, it is a scam and an injustice to yourself to be in a so-called "serious" relationship with any of these over-entitled Nigerian slay queen minded females. You would fritter away your life's work or your blessings on a random, useless bitch.

Get a girl that is old-fashioned in her orientation about marriage/relationships, and assess her to be one that knows how the game should be. It's really very simple. Most guys don't understand this, and it makes me sad to see.

If you don't know how to meet and assess a homely, presentable, wife-material Nigerian girl, send me a message and I'll put you thorough. I have one, and she is my madam (lol). I even wash her nighties when I feel like, and I'm very happy to do that on my own terms. Cos I set the rules and we're clear on the critical non-negotiables.

Then again, life is what it is, for those who understand it.


Please enlighten us more on this.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by hartson(m): 8:32pm On Sep 14, 2017
You can do a lot.Only you can do it.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by thestevens: 8:35pm On Sep 14, 2017
you're over 30 and you're still doing boyfriend?, you need to give him an ultimatum, later now he will dissapointe you and you will go and join the long queue in Shiloh and redemption camp.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by sharpwriter(m): 8:35pm On Sep 14, 2017
pcguru1:


True but 6 years haba the guy should have freed her if he had no plan. anything relationship more than 3 years is a waste of time, by then you should be able to tell whether you're marrying or not, My brother too is in one like that, both AS, deep down am just like they are wasting each other's time but wetin concern me, I can't warn someone 3 times
Both AS shocked ? pls. do everything to convince them tha it cant wrk. Is it wen doctors tel dem that they will know? Or they want to be crying in future over a SS child? It hurts, byt make dem see reason to part quickly.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by perdollar(m): 8:38pm On Sep 14, 2017
sister!! of all places na for nairaland u come seek for advice? OK o, make I give u my own. ds ur bobo go see ur parent wen buhari decide to visit south east. if u get sense just begin put strategy wey go make him leave u dts exactly wat we, the indigenous people of biafraland r doing, we WL excise Nigeria n dump her in history
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Ranchojesus(m): 8:38pm On Sep 14, 2017
The same way he gets you to bed....

Don't know why people keep coming here and start asking stupid questions.....!poo..

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by pcguru1(m): 8:43pm On Sep 14, 2017
sharpwriter:

Both AS shocked ? pls. do everything to convince them tha it cant wrk. Is it wen doctors tel dem that they will know? Or they want to be crying in future over a SS child? It hurts, byt make dem see reason to part quickly.

He knew when it happened to me, and when I knew they were both AS I kept telling them my story , my brother doesn't know how to break her heart and the girl is in love. Will talk to him again sha

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Montaque(m): 8:45pm On Sep 14, 2017
Op. I feel your situation. Can you discuss with him on a specific issue. I did something like 5 reasons why marriage with you will work and 5 reasons why it won't work. Be both sincere in your answers and ruminate over it together. As a man, he may consider age difference, tribe, denomination, money, your family setting, etc. One of these may show up in his reasons why it won't work. When u consider his reasons and it is something you can't get around with, just quit amicably. It's not a do or die affair. He loves you but u need to find his fears.
Talking from experience.

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by diransom: 8:46pm On Sep 14, 2017
let me ask you one important question and point non have make mentioned do guy have skin to skin fun if yes he is waiting may u can take in or not
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by platinumventure: 8:47pm On Sep 14, 2017
Madam dat guy is actually ur hubby....don't give him any goddamn ultimatum or scamish competition from oda guyz cos u will only b wasting ur tym....he only came back to u after a year because he has gone to browse around n found emptiness in oda ladies....he came back simply cos he finds peace in u which is only factor men consider d so called love is over rated...so madam just stop being desperate or allow ur oda female married friends pressurize u even tho I know nae isn't on ur side...both me n women r same before God n we mn also have our doubtz n weaknesses and moreover nobody has a right to judge ur man yet cs he hasn't stated his own side of d story.....just try n.wake ur Homie up by 2am n have heart to heart talk wit him n u will get wat u seek for....bless!!!

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by shineeye1: 8:49pm On Sep 14, 2017
Humanity is unwilling to believe or obey the Word of their God but they want SOLUTION in their rebellion. What delusion! They will continue in damage control for the rest of their unruly lives. Bitter truth.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Coldfeets: 8:50pm On Sep 14, 2017
Everybody is blaming the guy.

No one has bothered to ask if the girl is of marriage material.

Truth is, men already know whom they want to keep as side chic and whom they want to marry.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Zionprincess(f): 8:50pm On Sep 14, 2017
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided

My dear your mistake was when you settle back with him without addressing the cause of the break up. you are not suppose to accept him back if he is not coming to marry you.

3 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by adatemi: 8:51pm On Sep 14, 2017
My dear! Don't be surprised if this guy meets another woman and is ready to settle down with her. I've heard of situations where a guy is in a long relationship and he meets someone else and within 3 months they are married.

Could it be that he's not all that into you? Think about it! Your man is out there, so keep searching.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by nwokoyepraise: 8:52pm On Sep 14, 2017
Keep your pride, don't force him and let him be till when he thinks that the time is right. By the way, take the time and reflect whether he is the man you truly want to marry.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Youngkingz(m): 8:52pm On Sep 14, 2017
[quote author=yasmina85 post=60454983]My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided

my advice to u is simple and it works like magic

follow this step
step 1.
invite the boy over tell him u have important issues to discuss with him, or if the boy refuse to come u go and meet him
step 2.
when u guys are together u make it spiritual, u tell him let us pray
step 3.
u tell him we have been dating for six good years now and u no am not getting any younger I just want to know how far?
is better he love and he don't what to loose your relationship he don't know whether if he purpose to he will loose your friendship or he don't have u in mind.

so place a value on yourself babe
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by YelloweWest: 8:54pm On Sep 14, 2017
soberdrunk:
My dear i am going to be blunt and honest with you, dont listen to all these 'aunty feminists' screaming 'give him deadline', that is what put you in this situation in the first place because no man likes to be pressured to do anything, especially 'marriage'. '6 years' is a long time to throw away and it is obvious you truly love him so read the following tips very carefully and follow them if you want to marry this year. Normally i will have charged you one crate of gulder for advice but am feeling generous----


1) kill the topic--- Dont mention anything about marriage again, dont even think of giving him deadline beacause even if it works it might still come up later in the marriage how you pressured him into marriage and whenever you guys have issues you will always hear it.

2)Operation become unavailable!!-- It is no secret that absence makes the heart grow fonder so you have to reduce the time you spend with him, let him crave you more. Let him realize how much he needs you, it is not everytime he dials ur number you will deliver like dominos pizza

3)Competition---- It is time you create competition whether 'imaginary' or 'real', show him that your 'market is selling' and that he has to fight to keep you. We men tend to take women for granted when we realize that there is no competition. Let him no there are options and he is expendable.

4) Go spiritual--- whatever way you worship, you need to talk to the higher force about it


If you do all these any he doesnt marry you in the next 6months-1 year then there is more to the situation than the ordinary eyes can see.... angry
She should put in another year in an already 6year failed relationship

Na wa o. Woman menopause no dey hard o!

I told myself I won't date until I'm ready for marriage. I also won't date a guy not ready to settle down. So my time goal for relationship was 6months!
No proposal or serious move for marriage and I'm out!
I married my second bf.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by sharpwriter(m): 8:55pm On Sep 14, 2017
pcguru1:


He knew when it happened to me, and when I knew they were both AS I kept telling them my story , my brother doesn't know how to break her heart and the girl is in love. Will talk to him again sha
Hmmn...it is well. I pray they listen.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by soberdrunk(m): 9:02pm On Sep 14, 2017
YelloweWest:

She should put in another year in an already 6year failed relationship

Na wa o. Woman menopause no dey hard o!

I told myself I won't date until I'm ready for marriage. I also won't date a guy not ready to settle down. So my time goal for relationship was 6months!
No proposal or serious move for marriage and I'm out!
I married my second bf.

Well she has already done 6 years= Bsc and Msc , she might as well just do Phd rather than starting another course.......
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Obaf1(m): 9:05pm On Sep 14, 2017
jadyclem:


bro do u know what they call what u wrote up there? "MANIPULATION". babe, don't ever manipulate a man to marry u. when d manipulation fades from his eyes, what do u think will happen to u and d marriage?

so many marriages are suffering today because both partners didn't go into it willingly. if a man thinks you will be a great support to his life, he will quickly rush to commit to u before someone else does.

marriage is a union between two pple dat WILLINGLY decide to spend d rest of their lives together. if he is not willingly 'knocking on d door', let him be and go on with ur life. Though, it's so sad u wasted such a long time of ur life with someone without discovering what u are to him.
the problem here is ENGLISH, we all find one english word to destroy ourself, MANIPUALATION, (who is manipunating who) read my post again and tell me, what u quoted is wrong? Again tell me which "willingly" (as u put it) marriage is not having problem then later settle it? Read my post carefully, if she try to make him more happy tins might work out fine for them, no marriage is perfect, (for what she said, she said they need to go on break close to one year or more before been together, WHY? Becorz the guy in question didnt meet-up to the time/date limit given to him by her 'dat anger') u are right in ur opinion, likewise am right also, (but the issue i dat if we leave pride aside our dream might come through) d last word in bracket not for the op thou
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Truepee(m): 9:05pm On Sep 14, 2017
otitokoroleti:

if a woman open her puna for you now, what will you do?
Start Calling HolyGhost..
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by GOFRONT(m): 9:05pm On Sep 14, 2017
Or he wants to wait till he start Earning 700k per month b4 he knock at d door?
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Aboguede(m): 9:05pm On Sep 14, 2017
Respect to SOBEEDRUNK,
boy u are mentally high being, am niaja nigar but grew up in india and when i read from fellow niajas, it is most shamful to see the height of their average iq but the truth is that there are really very smart and bright ones among the plenty dumbs. OP, just copy and paste the advise from soberdrunk and read it every morning, afternoon abd night and probs are over. but just to add, if you are sex frick, learn to control becus it is odd for a lady and two, learn to be a natural lady DICENCY soft spoken, scared kind, slow to angar and respect all men. gudluck

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by shineeye1: 9:08pm On Sep 14, 2017
Humanity is unwilling to believe or obey the Word of their God but they want SOLUTION in their rebellion. What delusion! They will continue in damage control for the rest of their unruly lives. Bitter truth.

In the good days gone by when girls reserved themselves till when they and their families were honoured by a bride price , men knew how to hustle for a wife even with their little earnings. But since the open-eyed ones of today have chosen to dishonour themselves and their parents due to over-active-libido and greed, they should manage the damage.

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by YelloweWest: 9:12pm On Sep 14, 2017
soberdrunk:


Well she has already done 6 years= Bsc and Msc , she might as well just do Phd rather than starting another course.......
That logic is faulty.
In a university course you stand to gain for the years of hard work put in.

What does this woman stand to gain by remaining in a relationship with a man who clearly dose not want to marry her?
She has everything to loose. Marriage is not by force. So I can't say the man must marry her.
Tomorrow you will hear I dated him for 7yeaes and he dumbed me. Meanwhile he has been giving u the highlight that he is not interested in a future with her but u refused to open ur eyes...
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by freshinko: 9:15pm On Sep 14, 2017
yasmina85:
@KingRex1: he actually already met my parents on "casual" occasions.The problem is that he never came "officialy" with his own family.

@eezeribe: he never proposed "movie like" for sure but when he talks about us starting a family all the time, makes plans about our future life together...He actually wan'ts a child and I told him to marry me before.

@ariyebaba: maybe i'm not marriage material. if that's the case, I would really want to know why because I think I've done everything a young lady is supposed to do to fit the "good catch" category
About that "buying the cow..." if you're talking about intimacy, I don't think that's the problem. 99% of my married GF had sex with their husbands before and still got married.

maybe he's just not that into me after a cryll
Eeii yaaa.. God please do the needful. A sister needs to be happy.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by oruma19: 9:16pm On Sep 14, 2017
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided
ode, mumu. What does he wana see ur parents for when e gets ur pussy at will. Girls Og our generation are so useless that I thank God everyday that I have been married 10 years already so I am lucky, if not, I for nor tink marriage lailai cos e for hard to choose by now. Idiot coming here to ask stupid question. That's how a young girl i know has defied her parents to get pregnant for a boy her parents said she should not marry. Imagine such nonsense and cheap way of forcing oneself into marriage. I shall come back to Nairaland to relate the scores when the problem starts with her. Stupid girls of this generation.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by bellville: 9:19pm On Sep 14, 2017
itohanphait:
Guys like this are the ones that get married to a new Lady less than a year after meeting them when you guys finally part ways... If he needs Six years to make up his mind then he is not the one
You are very correct. You will just see him get married to someone you've never seen him with.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by Ifedith(m): 9:19pm On Sep 14, 2017
yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met smiley

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ?? undecided
I can understand how you feel. I'll have to be sincere with you. If he loves you like you say and obviously you love him too, since you two are both well to do, i see no reason why he's not going to see your parents. But the truth shall make you free. So here's the truth,He's afraid. Talk to him and let him tell you the truth. Let him tell you why he's afraid, let him reveal his deepest fears about the marriage issue. Then you can pick it up from there.
Re: How Can I Get My Man To Do The "Door Knocking"? by beautiful232(f): 9:23pm On Sep 14, 2017
my sister run for your heart

if his not doing well,like having a good job,I would have listen to you.but his well to do.

Don't be surprise his planing his wedding in the village already

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