You need to find out what kinda ceremony he wants. Are you both on the same page as regards big wedding vs small wedding? V

Tosinex:
You expect him to go and see your parents when you are already living like married folks.. hian! Sorry he won't, he will keep posting you till he find someone better Than you and then kick you out. So it's better you do the first kicking so that his brain can function well if he truly loves you.

I wonder!


on thing with women is that them don't use there sense to reason anymore!

why will I marry you while I'm sexing ya?

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

Funny world I swear, and here I am wanting to know my boo's parents......she no gree. I wish I could control love n emotions......

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

Stop giving him all the benefits of HAVING A WIFE.....

BT THIS ONE U TAGGED HIM "MY MAN" I DOUBT IT....


I DONT SEE WHY I SHOULD SPEND MONEY GETTING WHAT I ALREADY HAVE(SEEEEEXXXXXX)

You are not the one

otitokoroleti:

if a woman open her puna for you now, what will you do?

Dis 1 weak me. shey na wetin dem dy use qualify who reach to gv advice be dat?

Lol! Even 12 years hold knows wat to do next

my honest truth, start double dating, he will be on his feet,u don't stay n wait for a guy, let mi tell you a guy can marry someone else just in one week he met her but it isn't like that for women,u have to wait for d process to complete, if u start looking out u will hold him down,but if u allow him do that to u,u are finished, quote me.

Some guys don't have the heart to take that bold step. Force him do it,he will later appreciate the decision. I wasn't that ready but I thank God she made me take the decision. Now I'm happy with the decision. I even regretted I didn't take the step on time. It's 5yrs now.... And I'm still counting

Obaf1:
Let me go str8 to d 'solution' whenever he vist u or u visit him, after some discussion, enjoyment and funny stuff together, tell him boldly THAT DADDY AM NOT GETTING YOUNGER AGAIN AND ANY BREAK-UP FROM NOW WILL BE THE END, JUST PLEASE COME AND SEE MY PARENT, OR AM I JUST UR DULL, OR MAYBE UR DONT LOVE ME AS U CLAIM, then observe his mood, if he is ready u will no(real love wont hesitate to reply positely) if his reply positive, make him more happy but if it negative then ask him boldly WHY? If the reason is reasonable, both of should decide, if is not(excuse like financial aspect, the fear of marriage problem, children isue, or how to mentain and put the family in order) then kindly advice him that man cant have everything in the world to build a home, and promise him that u will be submissive and help him in ur own little way(everything nobe fight and quarrel, litle explain and advice will do)

bro do u know what they call what u wrote up there? "MANIPULATION". babe, don't ever manipulate a man to marry u. when d manipulation fades from his eyes, what do u think will happen to u and d marriage?

so many marriages are suffering today because both partners didn't go into it willingly. if a man thinks you will be a great support to his life, he will quickly rush to commit to u before someone else does.

marriage is a union between two pple dat WILLINGLY decide to spend d rest of their lives together. if he is not willingly 'knocking on d door', let him be and go on with ur life. Though, it's so sad u wasted such a long time of ur life with someone without discovering what u are to him.

But for real, for a successful Nigerian man, it is a scam and an injustice to yourself to be in a so-called "serious" relationship with any of these over-entitled Nigerian slay queen minded females. You would fritter away your life's work or your blessings on a random, useless bitch.

Get a girl that is old-fashioned in her orientation about marriage/relationships, and assess her to be one that knows how the game should be. It's really very simple. Most guys don't understand this, and it makes me sad to see.

If you don't know how to meet and assess a homely, presentable, wife-material Nigerian girl, send me a message and I'll put you thorough. I have one, and she is my madam (lol). I even wash her nighties when I feel like, and I'm very happy to do that on my own terms. Cos I set the rules and we're clear on the critical non-negotiables.

Then again, life is what it is, for those who understand it.

You gave him wifey duties so now he's having no need to make it official.

1. Consider other options, if there are other men that are asking you for marriage pls begin to consider them.
2. Please stop wifey activities, sex etc etc.


Whatever you do don't pressure him

Nazeren:


That is not your business. What an unintelligent way to address the issue on ground!

fraudulent people, u DAT is intelligent, what are u hiding by changing ur identity

and I'm here looking for the woman who I would agree for me to let me know where she lives or do the traditional rites and she moves in with me


Chai such is life

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

pls my sister if you all have a good job what prevent you from marriage every blessed day you getting older not younger

I just want remind you of what we call *menopause* at 6o that man can still marry and have children and you.... If your unlucky to have early menopause, at 40 -45 the door has closed for you. My advice, since Money is not the problem here, quite the relationship, if he is actually interested in you he start marriage process otherwise, move ahead dear, when a particular door closes a better one will surely open. I wish I have such opportunity by now oh! Money why me �

That's the dangers of CoHABITATION . Living together either at his place or yours have made him benefit all the wifely duties for the 6years and now he has nothing to look forward to.

The spark is there now simply because you both were apart for a period of time. You can't force him to marry him. and at your age I know you will be under pressure to find a boo. The only thing you can do to spur him to action. is by faking to him that other Suitors are interested in you. Also you will have to stop sleeping at his place and resist having him come over at your place. Time to accord a little respect for yourself if you must be taken serious..

By the time he sees he can loose you to others, he will do the necessary if he indeed likes you.

cheers

Papiikush:
I knew this was going to make Frontpage..

If you are worth it, you wouldn't be the one begging to get married. What you guys need to understand is there are always two sides to a story...but that doesn't mean anything once a women is the "victim"



What If she is not the kindda woman worth settling down with?

God bless you this write up....

SUPOL:
i bet u, he will let her go.

If he let's her go then it means he doesn't want her anymore.

I think he's considering your age. His people might prefer he gets a younger person as a wife not one who is almost his age mate. I think you've lost this one. Girls date your elders not your mates.

Madam, you cannot get a dude to come your parents for marriage IF he doesn't want to. No way, no how.

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

Not every relationship ends in marriage

Prepare for the worst and hope for d best

This may not end well especially given ur age. U are not assertive enough at this stage in ur life you shld be assertive u r not younger anymore. I personally will not marry a woman above 30 yrs, I consider them too old. He can dump u at 35 n marry a 24 yr old in less than 6 months moves on easily leaving u shattered.

You can't force a horse to drink water. If you see a serious suitor, my dear marry him before this ur bf of 6 years shatters ur hope to pieces. Oge adilokwa.

yasmina85:
@KingRex1: he actually already met my parents on "casual" occasions.The problem is that he never came "officialy" with his own family.

@eezeribe: he never proposed "movie like" for sure but when he talks about us starting a family all the time, makes plans about our future life together...He actually wan'ts a child and I told him to marry me before.

@ariyebaba: maybe i'm not marriage material. if that's the case, I would really want to know why because I think I've done everything a young lady is supposed to do to fit the "good catch" category
About that "buying the cow..." if you're talking about intimacy, I don't think that's the problem. 99% of my married GF had sex with their husbands before and still got married.

maybe he's just not that into me after a ll

Op. "milking a cow vs. buying a cow" analogy doesn't necessarily mean sexual congress. It is the "comfort" you provide and that he feels with you. Like "you are there" and his "go to" person etc.. emotional blanket and fall back....A fake gucci handbag but it will do while he hunts for real gucci.

He can talk the talk, but actions speak louder.

Don't devalue yourself please. You are a good catch. Maybe he isn't "good enough" or "adequate" for you. Maybe he isn't "the catch".

Bawse lady...please please..... respect yourself and dissolve whatever "relationship" you think you have.

You are too old for "Boy/girl friends". Tell him to man up, put a ring on it, sign on the dotted line OR bounce out.

Good luck.

KingRex1:
Invite your parents over, invite him too.. Start from there

LoL. More like: if the mountain can't go to muhammed, he should go to the m.....

ceejay80s:

fraudulent people, u DAT is intelligent, what are u hiding by changing ur identity

You are silly. Which identity are you changing? I'm just teaching how to mind your biz cos for outside na slap you go collect.

Perhaps he is hesitant because of "packaging" of faking. But, 6+ years tho ? You cannot fake a very bad character or personality for 6 years especially if they spent all 6 plus in the same locale etc...

If the guy is observant, he would have detected hints of disapproval and at least he should make his fears and reservations known to the poor girl.

Unless of course, this isn't the whole story--as I suspect, and as in most cases, there are three sides to every story. (story A, story B and the truth).

OP whatever you do, do not agree to be a baby mama w/o a ring and a piece of certificate. It will not solve the problem.

yhemster:
Honestly, I sympathise with the OP, from ur writeup, I deduced ur boyfriend doesn't trust you 100%. He may be of the mindset that you're packaging urself as a good potential bride which unfortunately my ladies cannot keep up after marriage. Many ladies change after the wedding and settled (guys too are guilty of this) to their true self and their husband get shocked and unhappy as they question themselves that "this girl doesn't do this while dating" . So to avoid this kind shock, many dudes like to test the waters by cohabiting, have a baby etc. B4 finally deciding if you're the bride they've always wanted to marry.

**To be honest, many married dude nowadays lives with regret

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??

lemme be blunt.....


Have U aborted for him b4



If Yes, then he probably myt be afraid of U getting pregnant, so U av no option dat to gt pregnant sinx dats wat U av reduce ursef to....

But if u havnt aborted for him THEN U PROBABLY HAVE A BAD CHARACTER....


DOES HIS SIMBLINGS AND PARENTS LIKE YOU

@OP: do you know his genotype? Maybe he knew yours already and don't know how to come clean if you guys are not compatible medically. My opinion

Billyonaire:


Very simple. Get pregnant and keep the pregnancy.

I don't see how this will work.

yasmina85:
@KingRex1: he actually already met my parents on "casual" occasions.The problem is that he never came "officialy" with his own family.

@eezeribe: he never proposed "movie like" for sure but when he talks about us starting a family all the time, makes plans about our future life together...He actually wan'ts a child and I told him to marry me before.

@ariyebaba: maybe i'm not marriage material. if that's the case, I would really want to know why because I think I've done everything a young lady is supposed to do to fit the "good catch" category
About that "buying the cow..." if you're talking about intimacy, I don't think that's the problem. 99% of my married GF had sex with their husbands before and still got married.

maybe he's just not that into me after a ll

don't rush into conclusion, I think what you both need to have is a heart to heart talk.. ask him his fears...honey don't be deceived we're man and the society labelled us "strong" so we claim to be strong even when we are weak..we have our share ofweakness and fear too.
Am sure he's aware of his age and also sure he's aware of the fact that his colleagues are happily married and having kids,am sure he love those thing and that he want to do it too...
don't give up without fighting...
am young but I believe that will be helpful
I'll be looking forward to seeing your pre-wedding photoshoot anytime soon.
God bless your relationship,
God bless your Man
God bless You,
God bless the work of your hands and your unborn kids too.

My Dear! Do not pressure any man into marrying you. If he was a serious man he would have already proposed and gone to see your parents ohhh 6 years nor be moi moi... don't let him waste your time anymore. listen to me!! MEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT! A serious man will even ask for your hand in marriage after one year. Your BF is too comfortable because he knows you are not going anywhere. CUT All ties!! and see what he does... if not my dear walk away and find your God ordained husband.

-Good Luck

yasmina85:
My BF and I have been together fo years (6+). We both have good jobs, we're both well in our 30s, I think we love each other (I sure do) and we get along fine.

3 years ago, he wanted me to move in but I said no, not before marriage.
Since then, it's been the status quo. We spend time together either at his place or mine.
When I bring up going to my father he deflects with something like "don't worry, it's coming"; "I'll go when I'm ready, be patient"...

Last year, I got mad and sort of gave him an ultimatum.He said he would but was still draging his feet.
I became bitter, he felt over pressured and we started fighting and arguing for everything.
We eventually broke up and spent almost a year appart. He came back 6 months ago and things are like when we first met

The problem is, I feel like for him, it's a whole new relationship and we have to let it mature like any new RS.
For me, we just took up where we left so we've been dating long enough. He either commit or leave me alone.

I don't want to lose him but I can't do this anymore. I really don't know why he can't bring himself to at least do the door knocking.

Please what can I do ??