₦airaland Forum

tensazangetsu20:
The man tried. The woman even calling me a pig is enough for a divorce. I don't know why Nigerians are scared of divorce. I will never eat shit in a marriage.

pocohantas:
So, what of the women enduring emotional abuse...being cheating husbands. Would you rather they walk away, leading to an increase in divorce rate or pour him hot water?

Walking away remains my best option.
I'm not interested in hurting anyone.

ImaIma1:
But it would pain the woman more if the guy ignored her and walked away. Some women are extremely troublesome

luminouz:
Yeaaaaaaahhhhh....
Oya dance shoki!!!!

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

LordIsaac:
Permit me to steal ƴour moɗus operandi in future...

fire on! Ensure you write an explanation about the fight test on a piece of paper and place I where she can find it when shes sulking all alone, that way you can always press the return button in case she passed the test

dicefrost:
I totally disagree with you. If there is no justification for a man hitting a woman, then there is no justification for a woman to verbally abuse a man. If he continues to walk away from the insult, it ll only be eating him up inside. I find it offensive that you tactfully excused the woman's madness and blame the man for not walking away. You are in effect saying that men should continuously endure domestic abuse because they are physically stronger? You think that a woman's words do not do emotional harm? Is it just the man who should be understanding and reasonable? Should the woman not learn to respect her head?

EgunMogaji:
I'm glad that you had this education.

While I'm not naive to think that some Men are not truly bad but it is my opinion that a lot of this DV stuff is propagated by women.

Your neighbor is lucky. Were this to happen in the US here is what's going to happen to your neighbor

1) He'll be arrested immediately, no waiver, he'll go to jail

2) He'll be charged with domestic violence and face a felony charge, State Vs Neighbor

3) He'll need to come up with bail (here bail is not free, not at all)

4) In some locales, his pictures will be on the jail website and in local newspaper

5) He may loose his job

6) He may get a restraining order filed against him to stay away from his house, his kids, his kids schools and anywhere where his wife may known to visit

7) The wife cannot withdraw the charge, his case is with the state as its a criminal case

Many men never recover from this

9[b]) Many men go on and kill the wive then themselves.

10) Many men go nutbats and kill the woman, her friends, her coworkers, actually travel to other cities to continue to kill her family. Why? Because he knows his life/career is practically finished with a DV charge on his record.[/b]

11) I won't bother listing the collateral damage in erm sof loosing hi sjob, losing his house, loosing part of his future income.

So I've been where you got today, the part of not just taking the silly my husband beat me story. It takes two to tango.

If your neighbor is smart he'll pack out of that house today and leave the she devil aloen for another man to deal with. But he must take care of any kids that exists in the marriage, no question about that.

I personally don't take bullshit from women. I'm on my 3rd marraige because of this no willing to deal with women trouble. There are lots of issues and trouble out there in the world and no one needs his own wife to be another source of that issue. So I bounce immediately.

I don't even know how your neighbor can face the other people in your building now.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

dicefrost:
Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

luminouz:
Poco baby...u can just pour me d hot water!!!

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

jumzzy448:
Thank you op. I could remember the first time I heard that my sister's hubby slapped her. I got so furious and told the husband never to talk to me. He had to apologize to the whole family before everything died down.

Now another time, something like that happened again. Fortunate/unfortunately for my sister, my younger sister was at her house for holiday when the whole ish went down.

My younger sister had to call my mum that we should talk to my sister cos the whole things could have been avoided cos when the heat was much, the husband decided to leave the house to go cool off, but my sister locked the door, held him by his clothe and told him we wasn't going anywhere.. her mother in law was also around. Everyone was begging her to let go of her husband but she refused to listen not until the man gave her one hot slap.

What I'm saying in essence is, not all men are beast, rather their wives bring out the beast in them.

pocohantas:
No, I won't.
When I see such stories, first thing that comes to my mind is, why not leave! Tell me, didn't this man know his wife is troublesome?

All the people supporting OP, are only doing that because the woman is still alive and a woman was the victim. Let OP change the victim to a cheating man, who was poured hot water and we will see emotions flooding here.

jumzzy448:
Thank you op. I could remember the first time I heard that my sister's hubby slapped her. I got so furious and told the husband never to talk to me. He had to apologize to the whole family before everything died down.

Now another time, something like that happened again. Fortunate/unfortunately for my sister, my younger sister was at her house for holiday when the whole ish went down.

My younger sister had to call my mum that we should talk to my sister cos the whole things could have been avoided cos when the heat was much, the husband decided to leave the house to go cool off, but my sister locked the door, held him by his clothe and told him we wasn't going anywhere.. her mother in law was also around. Everyone was begging her to let go of her husband but she refused to listen not until the man gave her one hot slap.

What I'm saying in essence is, not all men are beast, rather their wives bring out the beast in them.

That is called a factory reset

LordIsaac:
Goɗ forbiɗ...on this grounɗs, I accept I'm whatever...I will simplƴ parƙ my ɓags, resign from worƙ anɗ relocate to another region. Whƴ woulɗ I ɗie in the name of enɗurance anɗ ɓeing a man? It's onlƴ one life ooo. A laɗy has tormenteɗ me too sha...ɓut she will never forget me.

dicefrost:
I totally disagree with you. If there is no justification for a man hitting a woman, then there is no justification for a woman to verbally abuse a man. If he continues to walk away from the insult, it ll only be eating him up inside. I find it offensive that you tactfully excused the woman's madness and blame the man for not walking away. You are in effect saying that men should continuously endure domestic abuse because they are physically stronger? You think that a woman's words do not do emotional harm? Is it just the man who should be understanding and reasonable? Should the woman not learn to respect her head?

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

luminouz:
U sound sensible...jumzziii or jumia or whatever u call ursef

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

kimbraa:
Mr op, this story doesn't add up.

betty616:
We ladies should mind our mouth. Just as we expect a man to have self control not to hit us, we should also have self control when it comes to talking to men and daring them. Weaker vessels or not, we both should respect each other.

luminouz:
*sighs* so many possible outcomes n scenarios in this marital issue sef?
Its tiring o.......

KevinDein:
I, for one, see a manipulative and troublesome woman from a mile away and I do myself a huge favor by avoiding them.

Can't deal man

luminouz:
Yeah hitting a woman is wrong but what d fvck made d woman an irrational monster who talked about her husband joystick n bedgame in front of other neighbours Did u even condemn d woman

KevinDein:
Horrible, @ the emboldened.

So in a bit to empower and protect women they end up putting the lives of the women, her family and the society in general in jeopardy.

The most dangerous man is one who has nothing to lose.