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How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by refreshrate: 5:50pm On Oct 17, 2017
AlexCk:
Its actually their lives, their decision too, the family shouldn't interfere.

But as much as it's their life to live, family consent/blessing can really be encouraging too.
I wouldnt wanna marry, and my family and in-laws won't warm up to my better-half and I, even though it shouldn't bother me.

The best way to convince them is to let the know u guys are really meant for eachother, & na God make am possible for una two. grin.

But honestly, it can be difficult convincing some families about inter-tribe marriage. Mehn, i hope they over look this archaic intermarrying ish and rejoice with ur friends shaa

Guy forget that thing
Anything wey hot must cool after - Mugabe's second law of thermodynamics.
Let them not like you with time dem go chill no be today we begin hear this type thing. Eventually, they always cool down

OP two options
1. Both of them (even though I know it's you but no wahala) should get two friends each to stand as witnesses then face ikoyi registry abeg. After that send whatsapp message to her popsi with scanned copy of the certificate. He can't do squat!

2. Knack the babe enter pregnancy, send message to her mumsi, that OK o you've heard they can take their daughter but your consignment that she's holding nothing must happen to it. Make sure you're pulling one ear and squinting one eye when telling her mumsi for good measure

Tosyne2much baba no too para for these people jare, na so so to dey fear dem sabi. Meanwhile if I hear say you do nikkah I no get IV walahi I go find you do you strong something grin
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Chukazu: 5:53pm On Oct 17, 2017
stopthecycle:
nairalanders, your advice please, someone needs your help. a friend of mine from the east wants to get married to a yoruba guy, both families are against it cuz they both want their children to marry from their tribe, my friend tells me they want to run away and get married in court...do you support this? what advice would you give them please...


my problem with this kind of selfish and myopic parents is...if it's a white man that want to marry that lady ,the parents would never object to it ,so that tells me that our problem is "familiarity"
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by refreshrate: 5:54pm On Oct 17, 2017
ALOWONLE419:
.TRIBE MATTERS A LOT TO ME O angry AS A MUSLIM, I CAN NEVER MARRY OFF MY DAUGHTER TO MY TRIBES MAN WHO IS A CHRISTIAN OR IPODS MEMBERS angry

With this your type grammar & ideology one can almost certainly identify how the girl sef must be.

Keep priding baba nothing do you
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Bruno3000(m): 5:54pm On Oct 17, 2017
slam7000:


You look like the "very annoying set of homosapiens" too?? May God purge and help your diseased mind.
Guy no vex, its the kind of people I've encountered so far. 90% of them are VERY ANNOYING!
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Bruno3000(m): 5:56pm On Oct 17, 2017
Nword22:


Apes are even mistaken, God forbid.
Shey u see what I mean? Very annoying set of people.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by zicoraads: 6:02pm On Oct 17, 2017
tosyne2much:
I still don't understand why A GROWN UP MAN will give his family members the chance to sit down to decide or discredit whom he should marry or what tribe he should marry, on the ground of stereotypes and tribalism . It's nauseating I must say
Tosin, I used to think this way too, until now embarassed
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:03pm On Oct 17, 2017
PAGAN9JA:


thata his personal choice. none of your business. dont be a typical leftist

although he shouldnt have insulted the Igbos.

I don't care if he doesn't want to end with Igbo's but to go as far as to say sh.it, anyway am guessing it's a common thing here so you right not my biz.

1 Like

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by prince123(m): 6:05pm On Oct 17, 2017
But am trying to see where bible supports all this.Because we always quote bible.My own bible says Who finds a wife finds a good thing.It didnt say who finds a wife and the family approved.Find your wife.And stand your decision.When i want to get married.I have siblings.uncles saying you cant marry from outside your tribe.But honestly they married same tribe but they have the worst marriage.They aint even qualified to advice.

3 Likes

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tosyne2much(m): 6:10pm On Oct 17, 2017
zicoraads:

Tosin, I used to think this way too, until now embarassed
You don't mean it? So what changed your thinking?
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by zicoraads: 6:12pm On Oct 17, 2017
tosyne2much:
You don't mean it? So what changed your thinking?
Nothing did. But, just hope you are not the first son, and your parents ain't the 'He must marry from the tribe type.' Because when the family decides not to support your choice, trust me, it takes the grace of God. Man or not.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tosyne2much(m): 6:14pm On Oct 17, 2017
zicoraads:

Nothing did. But, just hope you are not the first son, and your parents ain't the 'He must marry from the tribe type.' Because when the family decides not to support your choice, trust me, it takes the grace of God. Man or not.
Hmmmm
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tossie101(f): 6:15pm On Oct 17, 2017
bigpicture001:
...belive me when I say what I say..dou we don't know ourselfs...I hv lives as both a yoruba person and as an igbo person...when I was a yoruba person...we were taught to hate the igbos and the girls told not to marry them...when I became an igbo person..in the inner circles...I noticed a deep hate for the hausa from the igbo angle and a simple un seriousness about the yorubas..they will always hails the yorubas cuz of thier education,criticize them for allege dirtiness,criticised them for being too fearful,criticicise them for too much oil in thier soup, praise them for thier respect for elders, praise them for thier constant use of thier language..in all..they will tell you the yorubas are good ppl but they have to also respond to them insulting the igbos with equal insult..you are seeing peace and love across tribal line cuz your nu dad is igbo...he it were the other way round..you would hv left the family cuz of marginalization and insult...jumoke mä gf..a gal from lag..whom mum is igbo.. and dad yoruba would tell you better

U have said it all... he found that love because his step dad is igbo.


Are u igbo?
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tosyne2much(m): 6:17pm On Oct 17, 2017
ALOWONLE419:
.TRIBE MATTERS A LOT TO ME O angry AS A MUSLIM, I CAN NEVER MARRY OFF MY DAUGHTER TO MY TRIBES MAN WHO IS A CHRISTIAN OR IPODS MEMBERS angry
IPOB are coming for your head tongue
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tommynico(m): 6:19pm On Oct 17, 2017
tossie101:


U have said it all... he found that love because his step dad is igbo.


Are u igbo?

But still I will remain a Yoruba man, I grew up with the psyche that it's all thesame every where, in each society or tribe, we are only different in our tongue.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Horlufemi(m): 6:22pm On Oct 17, 2017
PAGAN9JA:



love is just temptation and illusion.

if you focus hars you can even fall in love with a lifeless chair.

just like many ppl fall in love with dogs , jesus, allah etc.


tribe is important.

marriage ia the union of two families . tribe is culture language religion everything.

.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tossie101(f): 6:22pm On Oct 17, 2017
tommynico:


But still I will remain a Yoruba man, I grew up with the psyche that it's all thesame every where, in each society or tribe, we are only different in our tongue.

Lol ok o.
but If ur step dat was Yoruba and ur mum igbo.
He wouldnt show u that love.

Thats just the fact.

2 Likes

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Ritberry: 6:23pm On Oct 17, 2017
The bottom line is not the culture, color in marriage or whatever. Everyone, regardless of their cultural heritage, should ask themselves this question: "Is this person the one God has put in your life to help you get to heaven,no matter what color,tribe you are?. Even though they come from different culture, if the important things in life are the same, they can transcend their differences. The thing that binds inter tribal couples together and what helps them bridge the divides they face,is having the same values and shared vision of life. "Despite having different families of origin, our values are aligned, our priorities all align despite our different upbringing and heritage that's what make it work.

3 Likes

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Horlufemi(m): 6:24pm On Oct 17, 2017
PAGAN9JA:



love is just temptation and illusion.

if you focus hars you can even fall in love with a lifeless chair.

just like many ppl fall in love with dogs , jesus, allah etc.


tribe is important.

marriage ia the union of two families . tribe is culture language religion everything.

How is tribe important. As far as I am concerned there's no such thing as tribe. Igbo, Yoruba, black white are nothing but labels. We are all the same.

Only bigots and racists and tribalistic think labels are important. If it were inter unions won't be fruitful. We carry what is unimportant and dash it a "matter of life and death" meaning.

Before we labelled ourselves Igbo Hausa Yoruba black white we were human. We are Human and our mandate is to be fruitful and multiply.

2 Likes

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Olabestonic001(m): 6:28pm On Oct 17, 2017
Nword22:


Lies from pit of hell.

Proof that its a lie. Otherwise, keep quiet forever.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Olabestonic001(m): 6:30pm On Oct 17, 2017
Apina:

You are very stupid(bolded). Did u come across the words yoruba or igbo from my write-up? Or is it d case that u hv mental issues undecided

Apen abi what's your name
Go and read your comment again and get your head checked.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Dainikel(m): 6:38pm On Oct 17, 2017
stopthecycle:
nairalanders, your advice please, someone needs your help. a friend of mine from the east wants to get married to a yoruba guy, both families are against it cuz they both want their children to marry from their tribe, my friend tells me they want to run away and get married in court...do you support this? what advice would you give them please...

Op there's just one thing that causes this kinda rejection; its simply missing affluence. I'm not just typing this because I feel that's the reason but because I've seen cases where money answered the question.
I'm yet to see a well financially capable & successful dude get rejected by parents of the fiancee because of tribe.

1 Like

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by bigpicture001: 6:42pm On Oct 17, 2017
tossie101:


U have said it all... he found that love because his step dad is igbo.


Are u igbo?
..i am now igbo...I lived with ma yoruba family for 16 years...now am.with ma igbo family...ma dad is igbo mum,yoruba..i was born out of wedlock. nd stayed with ma mum nd her family till ss2

1 Like

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Dainikel(m): 6:44pm On Oct 17, 2017
Infact from where I stand inter-tribal marriages are becoming innumerable which sometimes make me doubt people are been rejected from getting married to their choice partner because of tribe
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Best1708(f): 6:45pm On Oct 17, 2017
Just take their hearts to the Lord in prayer,and you will be surprise that they will be the one asking when to meet with their in-laws to-be,I experienced same thing,as a Yoruba lady my parent has warned us not to bring another tribe home.Flashback to my previous relationship with Yoruba guys,none of it work out.There was this cool and God fearing guy that i met but not my tribe, he asked me out and i agreed to date him but scared of commitments.After series of fasting and prayers plus vigils,my parent asked me who i intend marrying and i told them he's an Ebira guy,they kept quiet and said they will pray about it.Before i know it they asked me to bring the guy for interview, on the D-day they called us for almost twenty times asking about our movement, on getting home we met delicious African dishes already prepared as if the president is coming to visit them.Everything went well and they asked him to come with his parent soon.That is little out of what our God can do.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by everozone: 6:50pm On Oct 17, 2017
Tribe means nothing.Love and understanding are the crucial essentials for a successful marriage.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Sike(m): 6:50pm On Oct 17, 2017
This one hard oh
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Opiletool(m): 6:56pm On Oct 17, 2017
tossie101:


U have said it all... he found that love because his step dad is igbo.


Are u igbo?

No, he found that love because his step dad is human. Once you view others from the concept of humanism and individualism, your sense of judgement would improve greatly.

1 Like

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:56pm On Oct 17, 2017
pcguru1:


Wow this is highly offensive even as a Yoruba man, it's disgusting. That's a terrible mindset

Then you're not a real Yoruba man. Go and ask your mother who your father is.

1 Like

Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Horlufemi(m): 7:09pm On Oct 17, 2017
blackbeau1:
bigots or not, you need your parents blessings . Marriage isn't a joke. It's not bf/gf.

Parents blessings. What if you're the only two people remaining. You'll still not marry because of parents blessings?
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Ugosample(m): 7:10pm On Oct 17, 2017
TruePass:
Not worth the stress.
Love dey sweet when u start new. But over time there will hurdles and problems, mind you it must come.
So who will u fall to cheesy
That's when u look back and see u walking alone like Liverpool.
Even the Bible says go to your tribe n marry grin
No love, marriage or relationship without problems on d long run.

Op na TruePass I give u so, if u like play enter throwing grin
The bible NEVER said that.
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by Nobody: 7:12pm On Oct 17, 2017
tosyne2much:
If her family members are against it, just try your best to erase any stereotypical belief they hold against your tribe but if things remain the same, kindly go for another lady to save yourself from family wahala
can hausa/ fulani lady aggree to Marry a southerner?
Re: How To Convince Parents That Tribe Doesn't Matter In Marriage? by tossie101(f): 7:15pm On Oct 17, 2017
bigpicture001:
..i am now igbo...I lived with ma yoruba family for 16 years...now am.with ma igbo family...ma dad is igbo mum,yoruba..i was born out of wedlock. nd stayed with ma mum nd her family till ss2

I see,
Seriously ur post shoulbe 2hat everyone should look up to yo know the real truth.

Right from my childhood till now my par3nts n3va taught me to discriminate YORUBAS.
Not even for one day day, but coming to .
Not juste thats how an average igbo child is brought up.
the tribalism u see from some igbos today we learned it from yorubas i can tell u.

yorubaland n opened my eyes that they dont like igbos..
Normally igbos are not trained to hate yorubas.
Its the other way round.

1 Like

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