Hello Websurfer,

How are you doing today? I hope good.

As promised, I am writing this because of you after reading your lamentations for the past few days now. Funny enough, you created another one today.

I have been following you since last year after the engagement thread. We seem to share something in common...we are both lover boys, the kind described in romantic movies, the kind women claim that they want but I learned sadly rather unfortunately that in reality, they do not deserve this, majority.

Another thing I can deduce from your position and series of threads is that you are too soft, especially with women.

You like flashy pretty girls, you have good eyes for pretty women... I am same too. At least if your engagement pics is anything to go by, that girl there was really beautiful.

I have vowed I will NEVER marry a lady who is not above average pretty. Though I prefer really pretty face and do not attached much importance to the body as long as she is not fat but moderately built, tall slim with a bit of figure is a stunner, at least I am tall, just 0.2 less than 6 ft.

In fact a friend noticed and told me that I like girls who are very stunning (but he can not date or marry such girls for fear lol), which is true but sadly, as I found out, you can not handle such girls being soft... bro. When you add to the fact that they are center of attraction from other guys, you can imagine the pride and ego that goes with it.

An average Nigerian can not handle power or influence with humility, so how do you expect a pretty Nigerian girl who get attention from a lot of guys to be stable without being proud? It practically throws them into more confusion. Only the one who knows what she wants due to discipline and good home training can handle but they are very very very RARE!

And that is why you need to re-invent yourself. You are an entrepreneur and you need as much focus as possible. How about working expanding your business?

Just like me, you are quick to start spending money on a girl or buying her gift. I have stopped doing that when I discovered something...

The problem we have as lover boys is that we think being nice to a girl is all that we need to do make them stay and love us... ERROR 404. It is NOT. It goes beyond being NICE...

You have to, after making your intention known that you want her, step back and observe... FIND OUT WHAT SHE WANTS! FORK emotions, FORK her pretty face... I learned long ago that how you start a relationship with a girl is VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT! If you start by spending money, they will abuse it, especially those ones with lots of fun loving female friends. ladies are their own enemies and they give bad advises to each other and how do you hope to cope?

You love her, you like her, you want to give her your best.. eh, bros, we have heard all that... what does she wants? Do you know what she wants? Look, you had better spend over 80% of your time finding out IF SHE WANTS you or what she wants to give than anything else. A lot of Nigerian girls are parasites, leeches and opportunist...

They do not want you and they will not tell you but will keep collecting what you give them. I learned this lesson the hard way. How can you buy that girl iphone 7? Did you find out if she is really worth doing that for? Bro, to be honest, the problem is not them, it IS you. I used to do all that... I even know a friend whose account of over 25Million Naira was reduced to nothing because of a girl who didn't want him and he kept spending and even bought Honda Pilot for her around 2014.

They always leave clues but we ignore them and the clues are in their actions. Frankly, if a girl does not love you, bros, there is nothing you can do. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and no amount of money , as my friend later found out late, in the world can change that

Look, every girl has that guy they respect... any girl that disrespect you in any form is NOT FOR YOU, she belongs to someone else.

So bro, if you really want to stop all these cry all over Nairaland, you have to focus your light on more important things by finding out IF SHE REALLY wants you and what you want to offer, what she is willing to sacrifice for it. From all I have seen you wrote, bro, those girls are not interested in you. THEY ARE NOT! Find another one and kick that slowpoke who came back to wherever she came from.

I know you are focus, I know you just want ONE GIRL to call yours... but you have to know that your kind is also rare to come by and so, bury that nice guy... STOP BEING NICE. When they complain about being in need, feign deafness and even promise and FAIL. Trust me, you will gain some respect that way... than the one who succumb to their every demands. You are too nice bro. STOP IT! You are too soft... STOP IT.

It is not like you are ugly why let these girls keep taking you for granted... in fact start an undefined relationship with anyone you like... do not take them serious. Ladies like SUSPENSE.. give them overdose of it.

You are focusing too much energy on the wrong thing... In business every success obey one rule: Find out what people want, give them and watch your bank account swell astronomically and if you have little or no competitor while doing that, bro, you will be stinking rich!

dnt mind dat dude, he falls in2 d specie of guys Dat thinks a woman wl luv dem bc of material tins, dey luv getting material tins from u doesn't mean dey luv u actually, stop Wat u gv 2 dem and see dia real colors, he is d one falling his own hands after he wl com here 2 tag all girls being d same. He needs 2 change his pattern. Use his brain and nt money

When they do not want you, they give flimsy excuses, roping the blame on you, subtly telling you that you are not what they want as if they are any better.

IAMSASHY:
dnt mind dat dude, he falls in2 d specie of guys Dat thinks a woman wl luv dem bc of material tins, dey luv getting material tins from u doesn't mean dey luv u actually, stop Wat u gv 2 dem and see dia real colors, he is d one falling his own hands after he wl com here 2 tag all girls being d same. He needs 2 change his pattern. Use his brain and nt money

I am like him... it is not the way you see it. He is not trying to use money to keep them.It is just his ideology about relationship and dating, which is a woman should be taken care of. Trust me, guys like these make the BEST DAD / HUSBAND. What he fails to realize is that ONLY a girl YOUR ARE SURE OF where you stand or a wife DESERVE such treatment.

robotix:
Hello Websurfer,

How are you doing today? I hope good.

As promised, I am writing this because of you after reading your lamentations for the past few days now. Funny enough, you created another one today.

I have been following you since last year after the engagement thread. We seem to share something in common...we are both lover boys, the kind described in romantic movies, the kind women claim that they want but I learned sadly rather unfortunately that in reality, they do not deserve this, majority.

Another thing I can deduce from your position and series of threads is that you are too soft, especially with women.

You like flashy pretty girls, you have good eyes for pretty women... I am same too. At least if your engagement pics is anything to go by, that girl there was really beautiful.

I have vowed I will NEVER marry a lady who is not above average pretty. Though I prefer really pretty face and do not attached much importance to the body as long as she is not fat but moderately built, tall slim with a bit of figure is a stunner, at least I am tall, just 0.2 less than 6 ft.

In fact a friend noticed and told me that I like girls who are very stunning (but he can not date or marry such girls for fear lol), which is true but sadly, as I found out, you can not handle such girls being soft... bro. When you add to the fact that they are center of attraction from other guys, you can imagine the pride and ego that goes with it.

An average Nigerian can not handle power or influence with humility, so how do you expect a pretty Nigerian girl who get attention from a lot of guys to be stable without being proud? It practically throws them into more confusion. Only the one who knows what she wants due to discipline and good home training can handle but they are very very very RARE!

And that is why you need to re-invent yourself. You are an entrepreneur and you need as much focus as possible. How about working expanding your business?

Just like me, you are quick to start spending money on a girl or buying her gift. I have stopped doing that when I discovered something...

The problem we have as lover boys is that we think being nice to a girl is all that we need to do make them stay and love us... ERROR 404. It is NOT. It goes beyond being NICE...

You have to, after making your intention known that you want her, step back and observe... FIND OUT WHAT SHE WANTS! FORK emotions, FORK her pretty face... I learned long ago that how you start a relationship with a girl is VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT! If you start by spending money, they will abuse it, especially those ones with lots of fun loving female friends. ladies are their own enemies and they give bad advises to each other and how do you hope to cope?

You love her, you like her, you want to give her your best.. eh, bros, we have heard all that... what does she wants? Do you know what she wants? Look, you had better spend over 80% of your time finding out IF SHE WANTS you or what she wants to give than anything else. A lot of Nigerian girls are parasites, leeches and opportunist...

They do not want you and they will not tell you but will keep collecting what you give them. I learned this lesson the hard way. How can you buy that girl iphone 7? Did you find out if she is really worth doing that for? Bro, to be honest, the problem is not them, it IS you. I used to do all that... I even know a friend whose account of over 25Million Naira was reduced to nothing because of a girl who didn't want him and he kept spending and even bought Honda Pilot for her around 2014.

They always leave clues but we ignore them and the clues are in their actions. Frankly, if a girl does not love you, bros, there is nothing you can do. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and no amount of money , as my friend later found out late, in the world can change that

Look, every girl has that guy they respect... any girl that disrespect you in any form is NOT FOR YOU, she belongs to someone else.

So bro, if you really want to stop all these cry all over Nairaland, you have to focus your light on more important things by finding out IF SHE REALLY wants you and what you want to offer, what she is willing to sacrifice for it. From all I have seen you wrote, bro, those girls are not interested in you. THEY ARE NOT! Find another one and kick that slowpoke who came back to wherever she came from.

I know you are focus, I know you just want ONE GIRL to call yours... but you have to know that your kind is also rare to come by and so, bury that nice guy... STOP BEING NICE. When they complain about being in need, feign deafness and even promise and FAIL. Trust me, you will gain some respect that way... than the one who succumb to their every demands. You are too nice bro. STOP IT! You are too soft... STOP IT.

It is not like you are ugly why let these girls keep taking you for granted... in fact start an undefined relationship with anyone you like... do not take them serious. Ladies like SUSPENSE.. give them overdose of it.

You are focusing too much energy on the wrong thing... In business every success obey one rule: Find out what people want, give them and watch your bank account swell astronomically and if you have little or no competitor while doing that, bro, you will be stinking rich!

tears ran down my cheeks reading this bro.
i should have read it yesterday before sending her 200k to get another phone


i'll try my best from now on..
infact, i promised myfelf this after finding out that i told you last night,

she called this morning to come cook for me and all that but i'll try to keep her at a distance

though i already started talking to someone else but i'll take my time

you are really right about the girls i fancy, {the current is way more beautiful than the one i engaged earlier this year} always extremely too beautiful that i get warned, but i ignore.. not that i dont have girls come to me on their own (average looking) but i dont give a chance cos im used to pretty ones, maybe it makes me feel like im settling for less. maybe but its reality



i really thank you for taking your time to talk to me

i will try my best

WebSurfer:

tears ran down my cheeks reading this bro.
i should have read it yesterday before sending her 200k to get another phone


i'll try my best from now on..
infact, i promised myfelf this after finding out that i told you last night,

she called this morning to come cook for me and all that but i'll try to keep her at a distance

though i already started talking to someone else but i'll take my time

you are really right about the girls i fancy, {the current is way more beautiful than the one i engaged earlier this year} always extremely too beautiful that i get warned, but i ignore.. not that i dont have girls come to me on their own (average looking) but i dont give a chance cos im used to pretty ones, maybe it makes me feel like im settling for less. maybe but its reality


I really thank you for taking your time to talk to me

i will try my best

Which one did you send 200k again? The one you engaged in 2016 that came back? SMH... You are just trying to buy love. You are buying love bro. STOP IT. STOP IT PLEASE. It makes you appear too needy and clingy and sadly, weakling.

See, women are smart. They are not dumb as dumb as we assume. They understand a man's emotion and they rule such men. If they don't understand you, they fear you.

When you are too available they abuse it. How about you tell that girl that wants to come and cook for you that you will be busy? How about you tell her you are not around and that would be less busy next weekend?

Look a girl once told me she does not understand me. The girl loves me to bit and I know it but I no send her. She has been angry because she hardly gets attention from me but if I beg her now I form one story give her she go accept.

I am sure she has other guys giving her attention but I know I am her top priority. Every girl is like that. They have that guy the so much want.

Cant you see these girls know your weak point and her preying on it?

You need as much male friends as possible bro to really groom you. Stay away from relationship as much as possible.

The average looking ones, yeah I know those too. It does not mean you can't get stunner but you just have to be everything a bit opposite of the current websurfer. Yeah., if that requires hiding your personality.

A girl I was even chasing late last year to early this year no send me and I stopped. While I focus on myself. In fact while at it then, my productivity level dropped. That's the effect of some of these girls with mami water beauty... She got that bad looking pretty face and fair skinned too. Her facebook account generate friend request faster than light and she accepts them all. In fact if that girl creates a new facebook account, give her like 1 month and she would have garnered over 3000 friends.

But when I stopped showing interest, what happened? Na she begin give me likes on my post more frequent than before. Even called me boss in one of my pictures uploaded. I had no idea as I was offline but a friend who knew about my relationship with her drew my attention to it.

Does this mean you can't get the girl you want? Certainly not. You can but I don't think you can achieve that with current personality.

If it's the girl you engage in 2016 that you gave that 200k, doesn't that send a message to you that it is not easy to find a guy that gives her money like you do? I mean since then to now, why hasn't she bought another phone? Doesn't that make you see your kind is hard to find? Or you think some ducks hasn't forked her all these while? Why didnt they buy her a phone?

They know your weak point and they are taking advantage of it. Sadly lover boys who like stunning beauty hardly ever control themselves. You have got to watch it bro... It is not their fault that you can't control yourself. Making such girls look like a demigod is your greatest weakness and undoing. Put an end to it all by being firm as MAN and watch, them fall in line.

If they offer you sex reject it... Reject them and make them feel they are NOTHING more than an ordinary human being. By the time you start making them feel like they are too special, you create problems for yourself. Why? Because every other guy does same... So they tend to see you as one of those whom they can lord it over. Can a god serve people who worship him? You make them feel like they are a god and you at the same time expect them to be loyal. You make them feel they are your master and at the same time want them to listen to you.

Things will change when you begin to make them feel there is nothing special about them.

robotix:


Which one did you send 200k again? The one you engaged in 2016 that came back? SMH... You are just trying to buy love. You are buying love bro. STOP IT. STOP IT PLEASE. It makes you appear too needy and clingy and sadly, weakling.

See, women are smart. They are not dumb as dumb as we assume. They understand a man's emotion and they rule such men. If they don't understand you, they fear you.

When you are too available they abuse it. How about you tell that girl that wants to come and cook for you that you will be busy? How about you tell her you are not around and that would be less busy next weekend?

Look a girl once told me she does not understand me. The girl loves me to bit and I know it but I no send her. She has been angry because she hardly gets attention from me but if I beg her now I form one story give her she go accept.

I am sure she has other guys giving her attention but I know I am her top priority. Every girl is like that. They have that guy the so much want.

Cant you see these girls know your weak point and her preying on it?

You need as much male friends as possible bro to really groom you. Stay away from relationship as much as possible.

The average looking ones, yeah I know those too. It does not mean you can't get stunner but you just have to be everything a bit opposite of the current websurfer. Yeah., if that requires hiding your personality.

A girl I was even chasing late last year to early this year no send me and I stopped. While I focus on myself. In fact while at it then, my productivity level dropped. That's the effect of some of these girls with mami water beauty... She got that bad looking pretty face and fair skinned too. Her facebook account generate friend request faster than light and she accepts them all. In fact if that girl creates a new facebook account, give her like 1 month and she would have garnered over 3000 friends.

But when I stopped showing interest, what happened? Na she begin give me likes on my post more frequent than before. Even called me boss in one of my pictures uploaded. I had no idea as I was offline but a friend who knew about my relationship with her drew my attention to it.

Does this mean you can't get the girl you want? Certainly not. You can but I don't think you can achieve that with current personality.

If it's the girl you engage in 2016 that you gave that 200k, doesn't that send a message to you that it is not easy to find a guy that gives her money like you do? I mean since then to now, why hasn't she bought another phone? Doesn't that make you see your kind is hard to find? Or you think some ducks hasn't forked her all these while? Why didnt they buy her a phone?

They know your weak point and they are taking advantage of it. Sadly lover boys who like stunning beauty hardly ever control themselves. You have got to watch it bro... It is not their fault that you can't control yourself. Making such girls look like a demigod is your greatest weakness and undoing. Put an end to it all by being firm as MAN and watch, them fall in line.

If they offer you sex reject it... Reject them and make them feel they are NOTHING more than an ordinary human being. By the time you start making them feel like they are too special, you create problems for yourself. Why? Because every other guy does same... So they tend to see you as one of those whom they can lord it over. Can a god serve people who worship him? You make them feel like they are a god and you at the same time expect them to be loyal. You make them feel they are your master and at the same time want them to listen to you.

Things will change when you begin to make them feel there is nothing special about them.

It wasnt the one i engaged, im sworn enemies with that one, she wouldnt even attempt cos too much happened.. it was the one i collected my iphone 7 plus i gave 200k to buy another phone probably because i promised her..

Nevertheless, she came to cook but i didnt give her any attention so she left without any discusion..

Moreover its a sad thing i have only one male friend entirely here and he is departing for law school soon..

My decision to stay away from friends are also based on experiences i have had with them.. so its just me alone plus i hardly or barely go out.

I really got tired of friends because i discover at the end they are just very annoying and opportunist , or living lives i can't handle (girls, achohol, drugs) without making any impact on me.

Though i have some female friends but not really that close

WebSurfer:

It wasnt the one i engaged, im sworn enemies with that one, she wouldnt even attempt cos too much happened.. it was the one i collected my iphone 7 plus i gave 200k to buy another phone probably because i promised her..

Nevertheless, she came to cook but i didnt give her any attention so she left without any discusion..

Moreover its a sad thing i have only one male friend entirely here and he is departing for law school soon..

My decision to stay away from friends are also based on experiences i have had with them.. so its just me alone plus i hardly or barely go out.

It's okay bro. You seems like an introvert to me and if yes, I will say a bit of the problem is due to lack of exposure. You should please and please man up.

The world is dog eat dog... People will use you and continue to use you till you die because you allow them... Even when they had begged you at their lowest ebb that they need your help, they will cross the line and take advantage of you when you let them.

Humans are selfish...

There is nothing bad about getting a stunner... But if you must, please let it be someone that is working. There are many of them.

Personally an extremely pretty lady that is not working or striving on her own is a turn off for me. I can almost bet that these girls you have been dealing with do not have any job. They are flashy and pretty but do not have anything meaningful that fetches them income and that is why they depend on men to foot their bills.

Bro, look for a lady that has handwork... I have come realise that ladies in this category are bit more reasonable in thoughts and deeds. Stop looking for those ones that looks like models in musical videos or movies.

There is nothing bad about that... But let it be someone that is at least making effort to make her own income.

You can find women in Church if you attend any or you can drive to Mall and engage in some convo with ladies, even bank. Just go out more. Dude you are not ugly, you are dark, tall and handsome...so where is all the problems coming from? Self esteem and how you carry yourself or see your self.

I don't know about you but I am very sensitive person. If a girl wants me, I will know. always look for signs. They should be the one fighting to be with you and not the other way round and you can make this happen.

With all these money being wasted on girls who don't give a flying fork about you, don't you think it is rather good to invest the money in your business or your own house building?

If I knew you were gonna give 200k, I would have stopped you. That's too much for girl you are not even sure of bro. Trust me, you may think that giving her that money to will earn you respect but honestly that shiiit just sent you 200,000 feet below in rank.

That money is enough to mould quite a lot of blocks bro.

Forget what you watch in movies... Forget all the bulshiiit girls tell you about wanting a caring man... In most cases, they respect a guy that does the opposite.

Let me use my friend as an example... The one he was spending his money on didnt love him or cared about him but the one while the one he wasn't giving attention to cared more about him. He even told me that he has never given her a dime in more than 3 years but she kept coming.

I read here on nairaland some months ago that women will respect you more when you show them you have money but don't give them. It's true to some extent, at least 80% of the time.


I will rather even act like I am a pauper in my current state and I am a good actor at that. That's how one girl was rating me based on my phone... In fact, within 20 minutes of our convo, I knew she was not interested in me... And I did well to end things as quick as possible.

Love yourself more.

Only hook up with a girl who is interested in YOU.

WebSurfer:
I really got tired of friends because i discover at the end they are just very annoying and opportunist , or living lives i can't handle (girls, achohol, drugs) without making any impact on me.

Though i have some female friends but not really that close

having friends is not a bad thing bro. Learn to pick them wisely don't let them pick you. I am an expert at that since I have been on earth. I do not have much friends but the ones I consider my friends ate worth their weight in gold and diamonds. No jokes.

Currently I have a very very very close relationship with a guy who sells housing stuffs and together we are pushing some bad asss idea offline... Dude is street smart but I am the creator of the whole plans while he is the field Marshall.

So bro... You can have friends if you pick wisely. I have never really had much sad tales when it comes to making friends because I pick them myself.

I don't make friends easily and weird thing is that i can talk to someone for a year but would never ask their name or phone number.

Counselor
Dude knows what he's suppose to do, but he's not doing it...
He's about making same mistake he did the first time..

Divay22:
Counselor
Dude knows what he's suppose to do, but he's not doing it...
He's about making same mistake he did the first time..

He is just being emotional... And ladies don't want such guys who make them feel like a god.

robotix:



It's okay bro. You seems like an introvert to me and if yes, I will say a bit of the problem is due to lack of exposure. You should please and please man up.

The world is dog eat dog... People will use you and continue to use you till you die because you allow them... Even when they had begged you at their lowest ebb that they need your help, they will cross the line and take advantage of you when you let them.

Humans are selfish...

There is nothing bad about getting a stunner... But if you must, please let it be someone that is working. There are many of them.

Personally an extremely pretty lady that is not working or striving on her own is a turn off for me. I can almost bet that these girls you have been dealing with do not have any job. They are flashy and pretty but do not have anything meaningful that fetches them income and that is why they depend on men to foot their bills.

Bro, look for a lady that has handwork... I have come realise that ladies in this category are bit more reasonable in thoughts and deeds. Stop looking for those ones that looks like models in musical videos or movies.

There is nothing bad about that... But let it be someone that is at least making effort to make her own income.

You can find women in Church if you attend any or you can drive to Mall and engage in some convo with ladies, even bank. Just go out more. Dude you are not ugly, you are dark, tall and handsome...so where is all the problems coming from? Self esteem and how you carry yourself or see your self.

I don't know about you but I am very sensitive person. If a girl wants me, I will know. always look for signs. They should be the one fighting to be with you and not the other way round and you can make this happen.

With all these money being wasted on girls who don't give a flying fork about you, don't you think it is rather good to invest the money in your business or your own house building?

If I knew you were gonna give 200k, I would have stopped you. That's too much for girl you are not even sure of bro. Trust me, you may think that giving her that money to will earn you respect but honestly that shiiit just sent you 200,000 feet below in rank.

That money is enough to mould quite a lot of blocks bro.

Forget what you watch in movies... Forget all the bulshiiit girls tell you about wanting a caring man... In most cases, they respect a guy that does the opposite.

Let me use my friend as an example... The one he was spending his money on didnt love him or cared about him but the one while the one he wasn't giving attention to cared more about him. He even told me that he has never given her a dime in more than 3 years but she kept coming.

I read here on nairaland some months ago that women will respect you more when you show them you have money but don't give them. It's true to some extent, at least 80% of the time.


I will rather even act like I am a pauper in my current state and I am a good actor at that. That's how one girl was eating me based on my phone... In fact, within 20 minutes of our convo, I knew she was not interested in me... And I did well to end things as quick as possible.

Love yourself more.

Only hook up with a girl who is interested in YOU.

Thanks bro.
You have really made up alot of sense.

Honestly speaking, maybe it has to do with the age bracket, not that i dont have this type of ladies who want me and are independent, but they are mostly either older or similar.. my closest female friend is a very good person.. im pretty sure shes the type who wants me just like i want her and same time independent...


Thing is that either age or location end up being a barrier .. i think most of the things you thiink i should go for are way too dificult to find below my age bracket
.
How do i really find an independent lady below 25 or 26 at least since i am 26?

Same time im under pressure from my family to get married in a way because im the only son and they think i have all it takes

Divay22:
Counselor
Dude knows what he's suppose to do, but he's not doing it...
He's about making same mistake he did the first time..

Always very easy to say, I can't blame you much

robotix:
He is just being emotional... And ladies don't want such guys who make them feel like a god.

Okay o.
I can only wish him the best.

WebSurfer:

Thanks bro.
You have really made up alot of sense.

Honestly speaking, maybe it has to do with the age bracket, not that i dont have this type of ladies who want me and are independent, but they are mostly either older or similar.. my closest female friend is a very good person.. im pretty sure shes the type who wants me just like i want her and same time independent...


Thing is that either age or location end up being a barrier .. i think most of the things you thiink i should go for are way too dificult to find below my age bracket
.
How do i really find an independent lady below 25 or 26 at least since i am 26?

Same time im under pressure from my family to get married in a way because im the only son and they think i have all it takes

You got to take it easy bro. 26 and you are allowing pressure from your parents to push like this. Now I can see why you are a bit desperate.

You are a man and you have to let your parents know you are a man. Look, if you follow the pressure from your parents to push you into a ditch with this headless morons, you will be the one to suffer in the long run.... At best your parents will only give you advise and it will end there, while you would just be there alone bearing all the mysteries and burdens.

I know why I am telling you focus on a girl that has interest in you.

Basically it all depends on what a girl wants. For a guy, it is easy for but for a girl, her emotions has to be in sync. What matter is what she wants. It doesn't matter if the person she wants is less better than you, even if she stands a better prospects with you than the other guy. It is what she wants and you have got to let her have it.

For instance a girl I liked but didn't want me kept telling me she does not want me... We dated in the past but she ended it within 4 months. But I kept trying to have her. Now when she would come back she said she has someone but when I would check out the guy the day she uploaded his pic, in looks and otherwise, I am better. But that's what she wants.

Her phone was bad for 3 months and she needed just 7k to get it fixed... Whether she inflated the price o, I don't know anyway, I gave her the money. And she was back online but along the line I found out she doesn't really want me.... Even though the other guy couldn't give her the money to fix her phone for 3 months... She still chose him either way. I did spend in other areas too.

It is same thing that happened to my friend. He had better prospects than the guy his then ex cheated with... Even in finances he was ahead but she chose the other guy over him. Sadly the Honda pilot he bought for her is gone lol.

So bros, keep your money... Winning and keep a woman goes beyond that.

At this stage have fun... You are still young. You are thinking of marriage because they money is available or because you come a from a well to do family. What about us who don't have such luxury?

I have to hustle every dime I make, even while at it, I do not have any time to waste on people who don't want me...
Another thing is that you tend to make these girl's feel it is only them you have. Look, rejection make these girl's sit up...

Go out and pick as much as 3 girls... You can run them all if you want. You know what you want and so stick to the one that gives you the most attention.

Look women are more than men in population. FACT!

while typing this on my phone, a girl worked passed us and you know what? She has that pretty face I talked about. In body, she is okay. But the face is extremely beautiful.. And your boy is hooked

Hey, I am going out to try my chance bro. No time to worry about any other girl. I have another I really like and she has been playing hard to get and my steam is depleting already, unknown to her. It will get to a point where she would not get any attention from me anymore by the time she makes up her mind...but should I wail and wait for her just because she does not want to give in easily? Boy, women outnumbered us already.. For every man, there are about 4-5 women.

I told my friend that the girl that just walked passed us is very pretty. And he said he is gonna get her for me through the younger sister as they are friends since I am new around here.

Bros, no time to let any girl spoil your joy ooo. Go out and have fun. Stop being too serious with these girls.

Marriage is a long journey and you have got to be really really careful. Don't let anyone pressure you into marriage. Do it at your own pace.

robotix:
Hello Websurfer,

How are you doing today? I hope good.

As promised, I am writing this because of you after reading your lamentations for the past few days now. Funny enough, you created another one today.

I have been following you since last year after the engagement thread. We seem to share something in common...we are both lover boys, the kind described in romantic movies, the kind women claim that they want but I learned sadly rather unfortunately that in reality, they do not deserve this, majority.

Another thing I can deduce from your position and series of threads is that you are too soft, especially with women.

You like flashy pretty girls, you have good eyes for pretty women... I am same too. At least if your engagement pics is anything to go by, that girl there was really beautiful.

I have vowed I will NEVER marry a lady who is not above average pretty. Though I prefer really pretty face and do not attached much importance to the body as long as she is not fat but moderately built, tall slim with a bit of figure is a stunner, at least I am tall, just 0.2 less than 6 ft.

In fact a friend noticed and told me that I like girls who are very stunning (but he can not date or marry such girls for fear lol), which is true but sadly, as I found out, you can not handle such girls being soft... bro. When you add to the fact that they are center of attraction from other guys, you can imagine the pride and ego that goes with it.

An average Nigerian can not handle power or influence with humility, so how do you expect a pretty Nigerian girl who get attention from a lot of guys to be stable without being proud? It practically throws them into more confusion. Only the one who knows what she wants due to discipline and good home training can handle but they are very very very RARE!

And that is why you need to re-invent yourself. You are an entrepreneur and you need as much focus as possible. How about working expanding your business?

Just like me, you are quick to start spending money on a girl or buying her gift. I have stopped doing that when I discovered something...

The problem we have as lover boys is that we think being nice to a girl is all that we need to do make them stay and love us... ERROR 404. It is NOT. It goes beyond being NICE...

You have to, after making your intention known that you want her, step back and observe... FIND OUT WHAT SHE WANTS! FORK emotions, FORK her pretty face... I learned long ago that how you start a relationship with a girl is VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT! If you start by spending money, they will abuse it, especially those ones with lots of fun loving female friends. ladies are their own enemies and they give bad advises to each other and how do you hope to cope?

You love her, you like her, you want to give her your best.. eh, bros, we have heard all that... what does she wants? Do you know what she wants? Look, you had better spend over 80% of your time finding out IF SHE WANTS you or what she wants to give than anything else. A lot of Nigerian girls are parasites, leeches and opportunist...

They do not want you and they will not tell you but will keep collecting what you give them. I learned this lesson the hard way. How can you buy that girl iphone 7? Did you find out if she is really worth doing that for? Bro, to be honest, the problem is not them, it IS you. I used to do all that... I even know a friend whose account of over 25Million Naira was reduced to nothing because of a girl who didn't want him and he kept spending and even bought Honda Pilot for her around 2014.

They always leave clues but we ignore them and the clues are in their actions. Frankly, if a girl does not love you, bros, there is nothing you can do. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and no amount of money , as my friend later found out late, in the world can change that

Look, every girl has that guy they respect... any girl that disrespect you in any form is NOT FOR YOU, she belongs to someone else.

So bro, if you really want to stop all these cry all over Nairaland, you have to focus your light on more important things by finding out IF SHE REALLY wants you and what you want to offer, what she is willing to sacrifice for it. From all I have seen you wrote, bro, those girls are not interested in you. THEY ARE NOT! Find another one and kick that slowpoke who came back to wherever she came from.

I know you are focus, I know you just want ONE GIRL to call yours... but you have to know that your kind is also rare to come by and so, bury that nice guy... STOP BEING NICE. When they complain about being in need, feign deafness and even promise and FAIL. Trust me, you will gain some respect that way... than the one who succumb to their every demands. You are too nice bro. STOP IT! You are too soft... STOP IT.

It is not like you are ugly why let these girls keep taking you for granted... in fact start an undefined relationship with anyone you like... do not take them serious. Ladies like SUSPENSE.. give them overdose of it.

You are focusing too much energy on the wrong thing... In business every success obey one rule: Find out what people want, give them and watch your bank account swell astronomically and if you have little or no competitor while doing that, bro, you will be stinking rich!

Best advice I have seen on nairaland so far !
Kudos bro.

OK now I understand what websurfer is going through. So dude even posted pre-wedding pictures?
Websurfer be wiser and stick to robotix advise.

robotix:


You got to take it easy bro. 26 and you are allowing pressure from your parents to push like this. Now I can see why you are a bit desperate.

You are a man and you have to let your parents know you are a man. Look, if you follow the pressure from your parents to push you into a ditch with this headless morons, you will be the one to suffer in the long run.... At best your parents will only give you advise and it will end there, while you would just be there alone bearing all the mysteries and burdens.

I know why I am telling you focus on a girl that has interest in you.

Basically it all depends on what a girl wants. For a guy, it is easy for but for a girl, her emotions has to be in sync. What matter is what she wants. It doesn't matter if the person she wants is less better than you, even if she stands a better prospects with you than the other guy. It is what she wants and you have got to let her have it.

For instance a girl I liked but didn't want me kept telling me she does not want me... We dated in the past but she ended it within 4 months. But I kept trying to have her. Now when she would come back she said she has someone but when I would check out the guy the day she uploaded his pic, in looks and otherwise, I am better. But that's what she wants.

Her phone was bad for 3 months and she needed just 7k to get it fixed... Whether she inflated the price o, I don't know anyway, I gave her the money. And she was back online but along the line I found out she doesn't really want me.... Even though the other guy couldn't give her the money to fix her phone for 3 months... She still chose him either way. I did spend in other areas too.

It is same thing that happened to my friend. He had better prospects than the guy his then ex cheated with... Even in finances he was ahead but she chose the other guy over him. Sadly the Honda pilot he bought for her is gone lol.

So bros, keep your money... Winning and keep a woman goes beyond that.

At this stage have fun... You are still young. You are thinking of marriage because they money is available or because you come a from a well to do family. What about us who don't have such luxury?

I have to hustle every dime I make, even while at it, I do not have any time to waste on people who don't want me...
Another thing is that you tend to make these girl's feel it is only them you have. Look, rejection make these girl's sit up...

Go out and pick as much as 3 girls... You can run them all if you want. You know what you want and so stick to the one that gives you the most attention.

Look women are more than men in population. FACT!

while typing this on my phone, a girl worked passed us and you know what? She has that pretty face I talked about. In body, she is okay. But the face is extremely beautiful.. And your boy is hooked

Hey, I am going out to try my chance bro. No time to worry about any other girl. I have another I really like and she has been playing hard to get and my steam is depleting already, unknown to her. It will get to a point where she would not get any attention from me anymore by the time she makes up her mind...but should I wail and wait for her just because she does not want to give in easily? Boy, women outnumbered us already.. For every man, there are about 4-5 women.

I told my friend that the girl that just walked passed us is very pretty. And he said he is gonna get her for me through the younger sister as they are friends since I am new around here.

Bros, no time to let any girl spoil your joy ooo. Go out and have fun. Stop being too serious with these girls.

Marriage is a long journey and you have got to be really really careful. Don't let anyone pressure you into marriage. Do it at your own pace.

This story reminds me of an ex...

She was the girl i dated before the one i engaged..

A medical lab scientist who i dated for around 3-4 months before calling it a quit..

Why?
I suspected she was double dating, a guy i actually knew at the end of the day as we were former coursemates at the University before i changed course.

Unfortunately, it had to do with what you just said.. the guy would treat her badly and all sorts of wrong doings but she prefered him over myself,
Ending the relationship, she sticked to the guy... dude has chronic cheating issues (which she was sure i never did and truly), constantly embarasses her in public including beating her up most times..
I never knew all these until last week or so when she came back to me..


Till we speak this girl is seriously waiting me to invite her over as shes and hoping we could come back together, (she planned to visit me when i return from my trip till whenever but i told her i would br travelling cos of course im not ready for such)

Bro to be frank with you, the dude no be mate with me for anything at all..

Except maybe age mates or an average look just like myself..
I remember her saying something like she is ready to get married now and settle down but inside me i laughed at her...

Adaumunocha:
OK now I understand what websurfer is going through. So dude even posted pre-wedding pictures?
Websurfer be wiser and stick to robotix advise.

Seriously i will

Wasn't this guy engaged? They broke up? Sorry dude. Sometimes love hurts.

Ginaz:
Wasn't this guy engaged? They broke up? Sorry dude. Sometimes love hurts.

yeah. That's right?

Somebody say robotix !!!!!... yeah yeah✌ love this thread. Websurfer, you need to pay robotix for the high level advice he is giving here. Robotix.. how much is the bill?

mctowel01:
Somebody say robotix !!!!!... yeah yeah✌ love this thread. Websurfer, you need to pay robotix for the high level advice he is giving here. Robotix.. how much is the bill?

man, I speak from experience because I and websurfer share a lot in common as far as women is concern.

WebSurfer:

tears ran down my cheeks reading this bro.
i should have read it yesterday before sending her 200k to get another phone


i'll try my best from now on..
infact, i promised myfelf this after finding out that i told you last night,

she called this morning to come cook for me and all that but i'll try to keep her at a distance

though i already started talking to someone else but i'll take my time

you are really right about the girls i fancy, {the current is way more beautiful than the one i engaged earlier this year} always extremely too beautiful that i get warned, but i ignore.. not that i dont have girls come to me on their own (average looking) but i dont give a chance cos im used to pretty ones, maybe it makes me feel like im settling for less. maybe but its reality



i really thank you for taking your time to talk to me

i will try my best

When you say settling for less under what context? Bros, you only say such words when a woman bring in more value than JUST BEAUTY. You seem to hold a woman's beauty so highly that you fail to equate or factor in other elements such as communication, good cook, pay bills... yes, taking proper care of you out of her own money too... and most importantly, show you REAL love and care.

BEAUTY is CRAP without the things listed above... So watch it. In business, when you have something that does not put money in your hand, we call it liability and when you have something that put money in your hand, we call it asset.

Is it a crime IF she takes you on a date to buy you meals, all paid for from her own sweat? What about a case where she buys you shoes, wrist watch or fuel your car? It has to go both ways...

WebSurfer:

Thanks bro.
You have really made up alot of sense.

Honestly speaking, maybe it has to do with the age bracket, not that i dont have this type of ladies who want me and are independent, but they are mostly either older or similar.. my closest female friend is a very good person.. im pretty sure shes the type who wants me just like i want her and same time independent...


Thing is that either age or location end up being a barrier .. i think most of the things you thiink i should go for are way too dificult to find below my age bracket
.
How do i really find an independent lady below 25 or 26 at least since i am 26?

Same time im under pressure from my family to get married in a way because im the only son and they think i have all it takes

Okay, here is the post I wanted to address yesterday. I was in doldrums over a business deal I had been working on and seems we are just close to killing it off and then came what looks like an obstacle..

Now back to your matter.

I should have addressed the first emboldened in my maiden post but I forgot. YES, AGE is a huge factor with these Nigerian girls. Their counter part in Western Worlds are the real definition of "women grow faster than men of same age", but certainly not in Nigeria. Majority, over 80 % of them act so weird in relationship when they are young... they only start to get WISE when the are approaching 24-25, because that is when they are looking for husband

To the second emboldened part, I would say it is not too difficult when done rightly. It depends on your approach. You are doing it all wrong and that is why you have all the bad tales to tell.

For me when I meet a lady I am interested in, beauty is not enough... I take into cognizance her intellectual capacity or the potential of that. Personal a girl who run around celebrity gossip like I see on nairaland, too focus on eatery, latest clothes, watch Kim Kardashian and her their wise family while she gets nothing income-wise are not in my bracket interest even if she as beautiful as beyonce... at best we get to FORK and it end there.

What you need to do is examine her back ground... beauty is not a enough, it is just the start but not the end.

Now let me show you how worthless most of these girls you have had break you are... They are beautiful... congratulations bro. Now, take their beauty away from them, what do they have that will keep you? Let me guess? Your mind went blank right? What you have are nothing worthless trophy wife as some men who married them call it.

What if they had the best value to cap that their beauty? I am sure you would be quick to mention them when I asked take their beauty away and what else can keep you attached.

Most times the kind of words that comes out of a girl's mouth are very IMPORTANT. I mean the things she talks about often. Gauge everything she says or does and make your assessment. In the past what I do when I start out with a girl is mark them 100%... then gradually start deducting marks from them. Of course, they always fail because they have dumb brains. When they fork up below 50% it is time to say good bye.

Control your obsession for a woman's beauty, it is unhealthy as a man... (I used to do that sha.. )You can get a lady with wow beauty but you need that extra value for happiness to reign. What is the point of having a mami water beauty that torments your soul with sorrow?

Above all, watch her background, the kind of home she comes from is very important too.

You can find a working class lady in that age bracket or at worst a career oriented person. The reason why you feel it is hard is because you have been focusing solely on beauty, skin colour, hip, boobbs, booty... bros, all those are superficial and means nothing to a REAL MAN!. I have reach the stage where those kind of things do not move me anymore, including their NAK.EDNESS. Though right from time, sex has never been the way to might heart... unlike what many ladies think.

Do you also know that women fear men whom they know that they can not use sex to control? I have done this test and I know it...The lady I told was shocked.

She does not need to be working if the age is the problem yet BUT She ought be talking about building a career around something worthwhile

robotix:


Okay, here is the post I wanted to address yesterday. I was in doldrums over a business deal I had been working on and seems we are just close to killing it off and then came what looks like an obstacle..

Now back to your matter.

I should have addressed the first emboldened in my maiden post but I forgot. YES, AGE is a huge factor with these Nigerian girls. Their counter part in Western Worlds are the real definition of "women grow faster than men of same age", but certainly not in Nigeria. Majority, over 80 % of them act so weird in relationship when they are young... they only start to get WISE when the are approaching 24-25, because that is when they are looking for husband

To the second emboldened part, I would say it is not too difficult when done rightly. It depends on your approach. You are doing it all wrong and that is why you have all the bad tales to tell.

For me when I meet a lady I am interested in, beauty is not enough... I take into cognizance her intellectual capacity or the potential of that. Personal a girl who run around celebrity gossip like I see on nairaland, too focus on eatery, latest clothes, watch Kim Kardashian and her their wise family while she gets nothing income-wise are not in my bracket interest even if she as beautiful as beyonce... at best we get to FORK and it end there.

What you need to do is examine her back ground... beauty is not a enough, it is just the start but not the end.

Now let me show you how worthless most of these girls you have had break you are... They are beautiful... congratulations bro. Now, take their beauty away from them, what do they have that will keep you? Let me guess? Your mind went blank right? What you have are nothing worthless trophy wife as some men who married them call it.

What if they had the best value to cap that their beauty? I am sure you would be quick to mention them when I asked take their beauty away and what else can keep you attached.

Most times the kind of words that comes out of a girl's mouth are very IMPORTANT. I mean the things she talks about often. Gauge everything she says or does and make your assessment. In the past what I do when I start out with a girl is mark them 100%... then gradually start deducting marks from them. Of course, they always fail because they have dumb brains. When they fork up below 50% it is time to say good bye.

Control your obsession for a woman's beauty, it is unhealthy as a man... (I used to do that sha.. )You can get a lady with wow beauty but you need that extra value for happiness to reign. What is the point of having a mami water beauty that torments your soul with sorrow?

Above all, watch her background, the kind of home she comes from is very important too.

You can find a working class lady in that age bracket or at worst a career oriented person. The reason why you feel it is hard is because you have been focusing solely on beauty, skin colour, hip, boobbs, booty... bros, all those are superficial and means nothing to a REAL MAN!. I have reach the stage where those kind of things do not move me anymore, including their NAK.EDNESS. Though right from time, sex has never been the way to might heart... unlike what many ladies think.

Do you also know that women fear men whom they know that they can not use sex to control? I have done this test and I know it...The lady I told was shocked.

She does not need to be working if the age is the problem yet BUT She ought be talking about building a career around something worthwhile

I totally get your message here..

But on this very case study , it's not like she's not an aspiring career person but either ways, career I can't really trust fully because I am also part of it of which I know exactly what it entails

[sub][/sub]

WebSurfer:

I totally get your message here..

But on this very case study , it's not like she's not an aspiring career person but either ways, career I can't really trust fully because I am also part of it of which I know exactly what it entails

This current girl, did you share your experience with her on nairaland? I mean full details. If yes, let me see it. I want to read

WebSurfer:

I totally get your message here..

But on this very case study , it's not like she's not an aspiring career person but either ways, career I can't really trust fully because I am also part of it of which I know exactly what it entails

See this? Always remember you are a rare breed.

robotix:


See this? Always remember you are a rare breed.

You can imagine

WebSurfer:

You can imagine

lol... Women are not what we assume they are.

robotix:
lol... Women are not what we assume they are.

I was just reading a post now about how a girl pretended for over 6 years friendship, 2 years relationship and after marriage, boom.. this was almost same case with the one I engaged.. just that I forcefully brought out the violence from her by chance



https://www.nairaland.com/4133663/beat-wife-what-done-differently