My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post - Family (6) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post (79260 Views)
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| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Nobody: 11:20am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Niyi6:she will do worst ....she cant even read ,write or speak ...married to Phd student they belong to different world |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by ibkayee(f): 11:21am On Nov 26, 2017 |
sirfee: ibkayee: |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Xisnin(m): 11:23am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Since you live in the UK, I have a very strong advice for you. Only stay in the marriage if you can overlook her flaw but if you can't prepare to quit the marriage first. Because making life difficult for her can make her turn against you and giving the country you live in, you might end up in jail or lose all your assets to her. Be wise! |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by elegantslayer(f): 11:23am On Nov 26, 2017 |
betafuture:op,i read ur story bit by bit.....but plz for d sake of your son pls forgive her, at least she was remorseful.pls I plead on her behalf with God's name |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Afonjanightmare(m): 11:24am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Mznaett:A man is a male human, a natural leader and the head of every "normal" family. My parents are still married after 36yrs, my mother still brings my dad his meal and carries the plate to the kitchen till date, my mom stands in front of my dad when he's talking (my dad is seated o!) note: my mom is a masters degree holder and an Assistant director in the federal ministry of labor and employment, no power tussle @ all in the family, everyone knows their place. See, this feminist movement brought by the whites won't work in Africa, quote me anywhere, let women submit to their husbands just as the Bible says, in Islam, you are allowed to marry 4wives hence you can take care of them. In summary, the op is a weak and effeminated male who is not only a disgrace to humanity but a disgrace to other male species in the animal kingdom. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by frankwyte: 11:24am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Sorry bro! But listenup , the truth is that you are not yet mature to handle a home..... Maturity is keeping a home together and taking best decision that bothers on Family. coming to public forum and telling us your family challenge is something i considered childish to say the least. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Jman06(m): 11:24am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I would have sympathized with you but since you also cheated on her i think you deserve what you got. Cheating men deserve cheating wives and i wish ladies will start paying back and not just sit back and suck up all the cheating by their men. You will be surprised how those men would go on defensive and stop cheating. But make sure you have a means of livelihood before you do that. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by IAmSkinny: 11:24am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Well it is so unfortunate. All I learned from this story is how to travel to UK cus that's all I wanna do mehn. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by sirfee(m): 11:25am On Nov 26, 2017 |
[quote author=ibkayee post=62726269][/quote] Noted,no hard feelings.Cheers |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by ibkayee(f): 11:25am On Nov 26, 2017 |
sirfee: ![]() |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Offpoint: 11:26am On Nov 26, 2017 |
betafuture:for the sake of your kid forgive her, you were wrong before, she's wrong now... but for sake of your kid future... forgive Her. I know what effect a broken family can have on a child. I was from one |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Orlins: 11:26am On Nov 26, 2017 |
When you cheated, you denied, she didn't catch you in the act. She only had to let the initial thoughts of you doing it fade away. Talk to your wife and ask her to come clean, if she has had any sexual relationship during the 3months before she joined you, she should tell you and be ready to forgive her. Now what prompted your wife to have a lover outside her marriage? Have you checked yourself? You may have focused too deep in your PhD degree and forgotten how you used to treat her. Try to fix it all. For your son to speak for her, she really is good wife and mother. I'm glad you are passionate about sex, I urge you to have a make-up passionate sex with her and remain happily in love. Bless up |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by crisycent: 11:27am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I took time to read your story; I feel for you bro. Especially when you’re in a country that you cannot SLAP her brain to default setting. The lord is your strength. Forgiveness is entirely up to you! I will say consider your son in whatever decision you take. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by AngelicBeing: 11:28am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Yawns, Next story jare ![]() |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Nobody: 11:29am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Divorce her. This is crazy |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by chimeziedickson: 11:29am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Do find a place in your heart to forgive her for the sake of d little boy,if she is really remorseful and repentant..it is not worth dieing for..... |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by lionness(f): 11:29am On Nov 26, 2017 |
women are completely complex beings unlike most men. Sometimes it's really hard to even explain how our mind works, but one thing is certain, you wife has been sleeping with that guy. The proof you need was the fact she wasn't enjoying sex with you. Once another man is sleeping with a married woman, we start getting attached to them. Thats the cold and sad truth. I didn't want to confirm this because of the hate it would rile up in you, but you still need to forgive her, but don't make it easy for her. Make her life completely miserable for as long as you could, and then finally let her in. Because if she could start nurturing love for the man who isn't even with her, and keep messaging him after all this time she's been with you, and punish you with not giving you good sex, she's really intending of meeting her lover again. And the only way to get the man out of her system is to threaten everything she holds dear. I am a woman, and I know how we think and the only time we really appreciate a husband we've fallen out of love with is when he's taking a second wife, or when he's threatening to leave us. Let her suffer, let her cry for over a month or more. After all, it's not like you came to London to cheat on her, you worked your ass off to get her and your son over there. Let her regret ever cheating so much that the thought of ever trying it in the future would be a no no... |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by BumbleBee2ice(f): 11:30am On Nov 26, 2017 |
@ Op, I wouldn't chastise u neither will I commend u but what I can tell u is, what is happening in ur marriage now u r d architect, though I don't support ur wife's flirting too in d least. Most women starts cheating in marriage only if they perceive or they have caught their spouse doing d same nd it's mostly done as an act of retribution which is later regretted. Some women will av full knowledge of ur cheating acts but instead of confronting u with it they feel paying u back in ur own coin will be d only reasonable thing to do @ d moment which I believe to be very wrong if u ask me... She must have known this person d time she was still in Nigeria wen she felt u were also been unfaithful wit her. Nevertheless Uncle betafuture , it's a good thing u caught her @ her game now nd she showed considerable amount of remorse/regret nd as d whole reality av since dawned on her, I'm sure she won't be so proud to ever engage in such again.Pls think of dat Lil man nd reconsider given ur wife that second chance. ![]() |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by CaesarDon(m): 11:31am On Nov 26, 2017*. Modified: 11:50am On Nov 26, 2017 |
@ betafuture to be Frank I feel ur pain. when a guy cheats he isn't most times emotionally attached to his mistress, the same cannot be said for a lady, her spouse or boyfriend suffers, that is why she denied you sex cos her heart cannot be with 2 men at the same time I don't think she loves u cos she had the effonterry to deny u sex after all you've done 4 her Bros u don't need a magician to tell u dat she cheated and trust me a cheating lady would most likely always cheat, which is very evident dat she still had dat audacity to make contact with d guy even after leaving the nigeria bros a cheating wife can kill my advice betafuture is don't buy that emotional blackmail crap she's selling ,do not entrust her with anything from finance to ur life, tread softly when dealing with her and don't let her know ur plans strat looking at the possibility of leaving without her in fact leave ur place for some days or weeks u may even call d attention of her family do not take this matter with levity hands |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by traeces(m): 11:32am On Nov 26, 2017 |
The idea of a cheating wife is one of the most difficult things for a man to process in a marriage but you are not the first and you won't be the last unfortunately. At least she is sorry and grieving. For a working class wife in the UK where she could easily have called the police on you for the violent behavior of shoving her against the wall and breaking her phone, that is something. Forgive her and save your marriage |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by joshuatop1313: 11:33am On Nov 26, 2017 |
once a woman admits dat she's guilty n wrong , I don't see any reason behind you smashing her phone on ground or going extra mile of doing otherwise... fine, you yourself av confessed that u cheat in d time past... so, forgive and forget everything. I don't see any reason of you monitoring ur wife up n down..it is not ideal, totally wrong. stop checking her Facebook account is none of ur business bro, am sorry abt dat...build ur trust n understand her..Ask her series of qtn why she's acting so strange n u guyz shd settle it amicably... Buh sir, u're too jealous... I pray God will uphold ur family ijn... |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by sirfee(m): 11:34am On Nov 26, 2017 |
ibkayee:The only advice I have for the op is forgiveness,he should let go of his anger and bitterness (though it is easier said than done).I believe the game is balance...Mr Adams 1:1 Mrs Adam. Moral lessons:Cheating is bad especially for married couples,karma is also a b*tch. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by valentineuwakwe(m): 11:35am On Nov 26, 2017 |
my man i understand you and only men who are married will understand this so boys should not comment. .all your actions are supported by me but you should have waited and control your emotions until you get that evidence you said you were loking for. .i had been in this shoe before. ?mine cheated on me with a pastor here in nigeria....but i handle the whole thing well and save self, my wife and marriage from scandals and village people story story. .we are yet to have any kids and would have sent her parking but i did not..i forgive her after she pleaded. .we are all guilty and you yourself is not a saint. .stop hurting your self by not letting go or forgiving her. .let it go and pretend as if nothing happen. .give her another chance. .life in the UK is not the same as here in nigeria. .besides you dnt have any evidence that she slept with the guy, just a Facebook chats. . just be discrete n pretend you dnt care about his social media life like say 6months, then come back to check, then you can access her...but pls don't push her away or consider a divorce. ...cheers Valentine Uwakwe |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by holusormi(m): 11:35am On Nov 26, 2017 |
dingbang:How old are you ?? |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by positivetaught: 11:35am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I'm very sorry if I sound mean,but my candid advice to you is,if truly you can't trust her again then just take heart n your time complete your studies n come back home n divorce her to avoid had I know,a woman cheating can do anything to protect her interest including murder, take it or leave it but be very very careful with her. |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Nickymichy(m): 11:35am On Nov 26, 2017 |
I must say i understand ur plight man... But at d same time u must understand d meaning of for better fir worse... Giv her another chance... Remember u once cheated on her and she forgave u...women are feeble vessel...persistent plea and disturbancefrm a man can bring dem down...stop hurting urself by having so much hate 4 her... She is still d woman u once loved... Draw her close and fix ur family... Prayer is d key.. In ds world der are many tribulations...God will c u through... |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by ibkayee(f): 11:36am On Nov 26, 2017 |
sirfee:True, he should also not be a hypocrite ![]() |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by benjsniper33: 11:36am On Nov 26, 2017 |
dingbang:Shut the hell up and stop Judging, either you are faithful or not trails and tribulations must occur. If things work that way who will be left alive? Put yourself in his shoes and show some empathy |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by Yameater(m): 11:36am On Nov 26, 2017 |
at op reply this post and i will tell you something |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by ayobamiakinrind(m): 11:36am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Apina:And you had to quote the whole thing because of your scanty 4-word sentence? Kwantinu |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by farihafaheemah(m): 11:36am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Young man, you have to forgive your wife, she was remorseful on this issue, which mean she has realised her mistake. Pls give her second chance. For the sake of ur son, though I may be difficult to forget but try as much as possible to let it go. Be a man and move. Remember we seek forgiveness from our creator and HE forgives us and turn us to new creator, who are we not to forgive those who offended us. Give her second chance |
| Re: My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post by farihafaheemah(m): 11:38am On Nov 26, 2017 |
Young man, you have to forgive your wife, she was remorseful on this issue, which mean she has realised her mistake. Pls give her second chance. For the sake of ur son, though It may be difficult to forget but try as much as possible to let it go. Be a man and move on. Remember we seek forgiveness from our creator and HE forgives us and turn us to new creation, who are we not to forgive those who offended us. Give her second chance |
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Noted,no hard feelings.
, it's a good thing u caught her @ her game now nd she showed considerable amount of remorse/regret nd as d whole reality av since dawned on her, I'm sure she won't be so proud to ever engage in such again.