₦airaland Forum

ChangeIsCostant:
A counselor and writer, Victor Ibeh, has shared a story of how he dated an older lady which lasted for two weeks before she broke up with him. Victor Ibeh, who revealed that he "had" an attraction to older women for some reasons - narrated his ordeal in order to warn people to stop testing or threatening their partners with breakup. Below is what he shared on Facebook;

At a certain time last year, I had a relationship that lasted for two weeks. We were friends before we suddenly got romantically involved. We looked like we could do so much together, so I was excited about the relationship.

She was older and that was a plus for me. I "had" this attraction to older ladies. Apart from the fact that sex with them is usually extraordinary, there is also the absence of drama and childishness. When it comes to drama, I am very impatient. I believe that an adult should know what he/she wants and avoid instability, pranks and mind games.

This is not to say that younger ladies are not gifted with these same qualities, but from experience, younger ladies can be very unrealistic. I have had so much experiences in life. I think it is beneath me at this time to have some kind of mundane romance with ineptitude. So, I just seek after people like me who have also had experiences and have advanced beyond that childish state.

However, because there is really no hard and fast rule of love and emotional transactions, I have seen so-called adults seeking succour in high school love wherein they abdicate responsibilities and immerse themselves in the muddy waters of immaturity.

The allusion to high school love, above, is just an obiter in this submission. I do not possess the intentions of expanding it's meaning and ambit in this write-up. But, on a later date, I will do a more detailed teaching or say, an explanation on that subject.

Everything about our relationship was going as we desire until one day. I called her in the morning as usual, she didn't take calls. I called 5 times but there was no response. I assumed that she was very busy with work.

I tried to send a message on Whatsapp, but I realised she had blocked me on Whatsapp. I just calmed my pussy and went to work.

At noon, I put another call across and she picked. She sounded like someone in the midst of something. I greeted her and asked how she was. She responded. Then I told her that I have been trying to reach her on the phone to no avail. I quickly mentioned that she blocked me on whatsapp. She replied that she did it intentionally, that she wasn't interested in the relationship any longer. I was shocked, because we didn't have any issues before that day.

I pleaded with her to tell me why she took that decision. She told me that she had made her decision and that she wasn't under any obligation to give me her reasons. I kept pleading with her on the phone. I just wanted to know why, in case there was something bad I did. I am someone who is constantly improving myself. I didn't have a problem with the breakup. I just wanted to know why, so, I can work on myself, especially if her grievance was legitimate.

I called back after some hours and met the same response. It took me 24 hours to process what happened. I was hurt, not by the break up, but the manner and then her attitude and also because I esteemed her above such childishness.

After 24 hours I let it go and moved on. I love my peace of mind. Some days later, she unblocked me on Whatsapp and sent a message. She began to reestablish some sort of friendship. It wasn't a problem for me. I was cool. We could be friends. At that time I had withdrawn my emotions totally. After a while of talking with me, she broached the subject of relationship to me. This time she was asking for the relationship and was telling me that she was sorry about her previous action. In summary, she tried everything possible to get us back into a relationship. I was adamant. I was done. That's the thing about me. When I pull out my emotions I don't send them back.

This experience is not an isolated experience. I have encountered ladies who would intentionally break up with you so you can beg them to come back to you. That is their own way of confirming their worth.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work on me. You cannot give me drama because you want me to validate your self-worth. I really can't.. If you don't believe in your worth, I can help you boost your self esteem but it doesn't have to be under an atmosphere of drama and mind games.

A time comes when you just have to let go of high school love and embrace adult love.

If there is an issue, discuss it. Look for a solution, but don't come with threats of break up. I kid you not. If you break up with me, I just accept it. I will not start begging. If you tell me my offence without threat, I will be remorseful and offer my apologies.

One of the ways people torture themselves emotionally is by breaking up physically, when they haven't detached themselves emotionally. It is torture and most of the time, you will come back to that partner. Don't be in a haste to breakup with someone if you are sure that you don't really want to break up. Stop testing people with breakup.

Very many times in my life, people have broken up with me, and I just said "thank you" and walked away.

When they saw the way I responded they went on to accuse me that I never loved them, but that's not true. I actually loved them but I love my peace and sanity more.

I am a very emotional person and I use my emotional energy for almost everything I do. So, I find it difficult dealing with drama and insanity. They will accuse me that I never valued the relationship and that was why I was quick to walk. I walked out of a marriage with just my books, piano and a few clothes. I left everything, I left my son that I loved so much, because nobody will grant me custody of a toddler. There is nothing I cannot walk away from. The most important thing for me in this world is my peace and sanity.

I place so much value on myself. It is not my fault that you place less value on yourself and are willing to accept bullshit. Don't assume that because you are willing to take rubbish, I should be willing too.

Let me find beer and drink fess. Please, if you don't agree with what I just wrote, take your disagreement to Jevinik and be useful to your stomach

Source; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2017/12/nigerian-writer-dated-older-lady-two-weeks-narrates-ordeal-photo.html

nice piece,so educating,more of this needed,thanks bro

booblacain:
The boy walked away from his son just because he wants peace of mind, will Ronaldo do that?

Ronaldo will buy his son. He bought d first son, afterall. Paid d mom, to stfu n gtfoohl!


Not everyone can afford to! Money talks.

The mere thought of anyone dating an "older woman" is perplexing. I'd sooner watch TV or read a good book, than spend the evening dating an "older woman".

Physically fit women between the ages of 18 and 23, and who have never been pregnant, are in the absolute prime of their feminine beauty. When a woman hits that milestone age of 30 years-old, her youthful beauty will begin to fade regardless of how many plastic surgery procedures she suffers in a bid to recapture vanishing attractiveness. Concurrently, systemic levels of the MALE hormone testosterone begin to climb in women age 30 and above, making older women more aggressive, confrontational, cunning, unforgiving, vengeful and deceitful in character, with each passing year.

With the notable exception of men who have been "happily" married for a number of years or decades to the same wife, I personally cannot fathom why any man, outside of marriage, would willingly select older women for companionship, unless of course there are financial reasons why such men feel unqualified to approach women aged 18 to 23, who are so obviously in the full bloom of youthful feminine allure.

A common rationale offered up to explain the motive for dating older women, purports that women make better conversation partners as they age. From my standpoint, however, my interest in any woman begins with how young and sexy she looks. If erudite conversation was my motivation for seeking female company, I would have joined the Rotary Club, which I never did.

The writer of this lament, about missing out on some old woman, is a broke-asz loser, which is why I didn't bother reading more than a couple of lines in his long dissertation describing his Oedipus complex and other mental problems he would have been far better off suffering in silence.

pocohantas:
The guy na regular nag?

An asshole with a capital A

Dirty

babablogger:
then you should know age doesn't make maturity sacrosanct

We are not talking about my opinion. We are talking bout what the chap said.

Correct. U are the mist important person.

punisha:
lamentations of a loser who's looking for who'd make his life easier. you can walk out of anything and have been dumped many times and u say u prefer ur peace n sanity....whilst ur post be making sense to your fellow losers, I suggest you go and work on yourself. you've got issues. The young lady like the others took a walk of no return. stop consoling urself with imaginary lies of how she's wanting u back. u ain't a man yet. Grow a pair of balls, find a girl your age or you're older than and date, try being responsible, stop looking for the ones that will pay your bills and u get freebies from.

If none of your exs has ever come back for you again, I'm sorry to tell you that you are the real loser because it means there is nothing special about you that could make them look back. No be today lady would dump your sorry as$ and later come back.
His post made sense to me because I could relate. I'm married, am I still a loser to you just because his post made sense to me?

Ose baddest

I like how he can pocket his emotions

Its normal with older ladies cuz many only want sex with u. Ive been there.

Love his use of words

theapeman:
you won date that fat ugly thing

If you see her picture you go start to dey rebuke your village people!

No way. Ishilove is a slim fine girl. I know the way fat girls think and talk.

olihilistic:
All this epistle on top another man Pikin wey d shine old Congo?

my brother, i weak!

ChangeIsCostant:
A counselor and writer, Victor Ibeh, has shared a story of how he dated an older lady which lasted for two weeks before she broke up with him. Victor Ibeh, who revealed that he "had" an attraction to older women for some reasons - narrated his ordeal in order to warn people to stop testing or threatening their partners with breakup. Below is what he shared on Facebook;

At a certain time last year, I had a relationship that lasted for two weeks. We were friends before we suddenly got romantically involved. We looked like we could do so much together, so I was excited about the relationship.

She was older and that was a plus for me. I "had" this attraction to older ladies. Apart from the fact that sex with them is usually extraordinary, there is also the absence of drama and childishness. When it comes to drama, I am very impatient. I believe that an adult should know what he/she wants and avoid instability, pranks and mind games.

This is not to say that younger ladies are not gifted with these same qualities, but from experience, younger ladies can be very unrealistic. I have had so much experiences in life. I think it is beneath me at this time to have some kind of mundane romance with ineptitude. So, I just seek after people like me who have also had experiences and have advanced beyond that childish state.

However, because there is really no hard and fast rule of love and emotional transactions, I have seen so-called adults seeking succour in high school love wherein they abdicate responsibilities and immerse themselves in the muddy waters of immaturity.

The allusion to high school love, above, is just an obiter in this submission. I do not possess the intentions of expanding it's meaning and ambit in this write-up. But, on a later date, I will do a more detailed teaching or say, an explanation on that subject.

Everything about our relationship was going as we desire until one day. I called her in the morning as usual, she didn't take calls. I called 5 times but there was no response. I assumed that she was very busy with work.

I tried to send a message on Whatsapp, but I realised she had blocked me on Whatsapp. I just calmed my pussy and went to work.

At noon, I put another call across and she picked. She sounded like someone in the midst of something. I greeted her and asked how she was. She responded. Then I told her that I have been trying to reach her on the phone to no avail. I quickly mentioned that she blocked me on whatsapp. She replied that she did it intentionally, that she wasn't interested in the relationship any longer. I was shocked, because we didn't have any issues before that day.

I pleaded with her to tell me why she took that decision. She told me that she had made her decision and that she wasn't under any obligation to give me her reasons. I kept pleading with her on the phone. I just wanted to know why, in case there was something bad I did. I am someone who is constantly improving myself. I didn't have a problem with the breakup. I just wanted to know why, so, I can work on myself, especially if her grievance was legitimate.

I called back after some hours and met the same response. It took me 24 hours to process what happened. I was hurt, not by the break up, but the manner and then her attitude and also because I esteemed her above such childishness.

After 24 hours I let it go and moved on. I love my peace of mind. Some days later, she unblocked me on Whatsapp and sent a message. She began to reestablish some sort of friendship. It wasn't a problem for me. I was cool. We could be friends. At that time I had withdrawn my emotions totally. After a while of talking with me, she broached the subject of relationship to me. This time she was asking for the relationship and was telling me that she was sorry about her previous action. In summary, she tried everything possible to get us back into a relationship. I was adamant. I was done. That's the thing about me. When I pull out my emotions I don't send them back.

This experience is not an isolated experience. I have encountered ladies who would intentionally break up with you so you can beg them to come back to you. That is their own way of confirming their worth.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work on me. You cannot give me drama because you want me to validate your self-worth. I really can't.. If you don't believe in your worth, I can help you boost your self esteem but it doesn't have to be under an atmosphere of drama and mind games.

A time comes when you just have to let go of high school love and embrace adult love.

If there is an issue, discuss it. Look for a solution, but don't come with threats of break up. I kid you not. If you break up with me, I just accept it. I will not start begging. If you tell me my offence without threat, I will be remorseful and offer my apologies.

One of the ways people torture themselves emotionally is by breaking up physically, when they haven't detached themselves emotionally. It is torture and most of the time, you will come back to that partner. Don't be in a haste to breakup with someone if you are sure that you don't really want to break up. Stop testing people with breakup.

Very many times in my life, people have broken up with me, and I just said "thank you" and walked away.

When they saw the way I responded they went on to accuse me that I never loved them, but that's not true. I actually loved them but I love my peace and sanity more.

I am a very emotional person and I use my emotional energy for almost everything I do. So, I find it difficult dealing with drama and insanity. They will accuse me that I never valued the relationship and that was why I was quick to walk. I walked out of a marriage with just my books, piano and a few clothes. I left everything, I left my son that I loved so much, because nobody will grant me custody of a toddler. There is nothing I cannot walk away from. The most important thing for me in this world is my peace and sanity.

I place so much value on myself. It is not my fault that you place less value on yourself and are willing to accept bullshit. Don't assume that because you are willing to take rubbish, I should be willing too.

Let me find beer and drink fess. Please, if you don't agree with what I just wrote, take your disagreement to Jevinik and be useful to your stomach


Source; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2017/12/nigerian-writer-dated-older-lady-two-weeks-narrates-ordeal-photo.html

Sincerely, I respect this guy. For his principles and his intellect.
Beyond all this, I see signs of a highly evolved personality in him.

And this is me! Dated a 29 years old lady, 2years my junior tho and she was all shit! Great sex, but excessive drama for a lady who had advanced in age. She called it off, and I moved on. Life is too short for dramas! The much younger ones are thrash! They barely know their left from right! Most are still slaying their time out on IG and snap.

Nice write up.....most of these young girls love drama too much....jxt last week ma girl texted me and was like let's break up....I instantly got fed up of de bulshit so I decided not to reply her ...I woke up the following day to see another text on ma phone saying she wasn't the on who texted the message buh it was her sister rather.....can u imagine?

I'm with this guy in every part of his writeup.

rawpadgin:
Nice write-up but dude look gay sha

If you nor know your mate then some thing is wrong somewhere

ashjay001:
True that, cruel! But, not as cruel as a bitch, using ur love for them to frustrate ur life! She doesnt love or care for them as much as u do, but takes them anyway, to get at u!


Sometimes, self preservation first!

That's true.In situations like this,he should find a way to reach out to the son.

This kind people are really blessed with BIG prick

The post made some level of sense to me.
Learn to let go of things, nothing is worth your peace and sanity.

#my2cent

Jakumo:
The mere thought of anyone dating an "older woman" is perplexing. I'd sooner watch TV or read a good book, than spend the evening dating an "older woman".

Physically fit women between the ages of 18 and 23, and who have never been pregnant, are in the absolute prime of their feminine beauty. When a woman hits that milestone age of 30 years-old, her youthful beauty will begin to fade regardless of how many plastic surgery procedures she suffers in a bid to recapture vanishing attractiveness. Concurrently, systemic levels of the MALE hormone testosterone begin to climb in women age 30 and above, making older women more aggressive, confrontational, cunning, unforgiving, vengeful and deceitful in character, with each passing year.

With the notable exception of men who have been "happily" married for a number of years or decades to the same wife, I personally cannot fathom why any man, outside of marriage, would willingly select older women for companionship, unless of course there are financial reasons why such men feel unqualified to approach women aged 18 to 23, who are so obviously in the full bloom of youthful feminine allure.

A common rationale offered up to explain the motive for dating older women, purports that women make better conversation partners as they age. From my standpoint, however, my interest in any woman begins with how young and sexy she looks. If erudite conversation was my motivation for seeking female company, I would have joined the Rotary Club, which I never did.

The writer of this lament, about missing out on some old woman, is a broke-asz loser, which is why I didn't bother reading more than a couple of lines in his long dissertation describing his Oedipus complex and other mental problems he would have been far better off suffering in silence.

*facepalm*

I never knew you are misogynist. I hope all the women you have dated/are dating have have remained 23 years without aging.

Now wey the man get blue eyes , nobody see am oo, If na babe nah dem for don make her internet sensation. Oya wia all those photoshooters dey? Make una march go Ibeh houz naw

thorpido:
That's true.In situations like this,he should find a way to reach out to the son.

He probably does, but like me, unfettered access would be d best!



The way I read him, n this holds true for most marriages, pple dont like walking out of bad marriages because of d kid/s. When they do, d pain is.........

Man, the only exception I take on your post is that issue of walking away from your son. Please don't walk away from him. He needs you. Whatever it would take, whatever the pain, look after your son. God help you.

Ishilove:
*facepalm*

I never knew you are misogynist. I hope all the women you have dated/are dating have have remained 23 years without aging.

jakumo is not misogynist.

he is however unrepentantly hugh hefnerish as far as the female body is concerned. for him, his only choice, even when he is 90, is 23 and nubile

Whats Our Business with this Sh*t... Pls there are many problems in Nigeria running through Nigerians not this

Pennywise:
No way. Ishilove is a slim fine girl. I know the way fat girls think and talk.

you know the way fat people write by!

A woman he can always sleep with. A woman who won't complain one bit, a woman who will not ask for romance, love or dates. She should also keep things clean, cook and wash well. Do the duties of a woman well.

This is what a guy wants. A sex doll that is entertaining , pleasant and useful around the house. Doesn't take much maintenance, does her job, looks good, f***s well and shuts her mouth. That's all.

This is a tale of a guy who has been dumped by a Sugar mummy. The music and art industry has earned so much inspiration from these emotional scenerios of helpless guys who pretend to be supermen when inside of them is fill with tears of a serial loser from emotional investments.

He mentioned that he has faced break up severally. That is point one.

Then he also mentioned that he instantly disconnects his emotion once hurt. That is point two

When it gets to the point that you walk away from your own son, but you remember to pick a Piano, some books and of course his cloths, then you begin to understand the dynamics behind his serial break up(s). A piano replaced his son, and the strumps of his fingers drowns out the emotional connection from himself and he drowns in the ocean of sound without thinking of the lessons that nature is trying to teach him.

The Universe is teaching this guy a lesson, he hurts others each time he disconnects despite being apologized to, despite the partner's forgiveness. There is a word like Forgiveness, and there is a word like forget'ness'. To forgive and forget is the solution to the complex cache of karma that puts this soul on a cycle of break up just to teach him forgiveness but he has not seen that aspect of life as his weakness. He actually think it is his strength and this cycle will continue until he has learnt his lesson and master his emotion instead of running away from facing the pains before the glory.

He moves around with arrogance as if his dicck is the sweetest in the world. The best relationships are the ones with breaking up and making up, it teaches patience and tolerance and makes Gods and Goddesses out of mere mortals.

Break up is supposed to teach detachment and make up is supposed to teach forgiveness. Until you learn that vital lesson from the laws of nature, you will continue in the cycle of break up, and sometimes there will be no reason for the partner breaking up, because they are just pencils in the hands of the Almighty Creator of Energy. To teach you forgiveness of yourself and others

This is my final input on this subject.

If you continue like this you won't be stable in any relationship/marriage. So much as you cherish peace you need to work hard to achieve the much needed peace . you don't know when you will miss your REAL heartthrob due to inability to bear up with drama. Real men act with reason not emotions.

nonut:
Guys who beg when women break up with them are Bleep boys.
They're not doing it because they care so much, they just wanna continue shining the Congo.
Ladies don't understand this though. They believe the guy can't do it without them, that's why he's begging.
Real men don't beg. They just take it hard and move on.

. I disagree