₦airaland Forum

Immatured couples that prolly don't love themselves is all I see here.

Laeroy:
Thanks for your advise

And if you must do that, you have to be very careful and be ready to face the result if he eventually catches you.

Laeroy:
Exactly my thoughts......I do not have a problem assisting the home with my finances, the problem I have with him is his incessant threats,

Yes he carries me along his plans and everything, but dat one Na for mouth.......After one small fight as usual, the next utterance is, If u can't work according to my plans, it's The usual phrase, Leave and go, I can't count the number of times I have knelt and begged him about it, I also remembered while I was p pregnant with my child, I was idle and this same man starved me for several weeks just becos I didn't ask him money for food.....I cried out to my friends and dey all came out to support me...


U think If i had a major contribution on the possessions he has, he will be threatening me Everytime,No He won't dare try dat with me..


So this morning he said I'm being proud and rude to him becos of the shikini money I have, we have always had same argument even when I didn't have 1 naira, I don't even consider what I have Money, as money is bound to finish with time, what I hate bout men is always blackmailing u cheaply and always wanting women to always be at their mercy.....I hate it....Call it ego or whatever....I'll rather walk away dan stay around a man who wants me to always be at his mercy.....ill rather drink garri and have my self respect or even die dan beg for crumbs like Lazarus and the rich man....

He thinks you being at his mercy is submissiveness. He needs a mentor to talk to him, his ideologies is the problem. There's no witch behind your marital issues, your hubbies' ideologies is the problem



You don't know me but i think the punishment or re-balancing tool God is giivng you in your marriage is your financial prowess. Your husband want you to completely live off him so he can manipulate and control you. He wants to emasculate you, and your not following the script makes you unsubmissive, you will need plenty of patience to remain with this man.I dont advocate divorce, neither will i ever condemn him, it's just how he sees life and what he has been exposed to that's the problem

fabulous85:
he should go? from his house? WOW am sure if you were in america you would have purseud this man from his house. my sister calm down

But she can go abi

tritritri:
My brother i thought women r only wicked to there house maid.never knew to her own kids.

Save ur money and turn ur child to illiterate . U didnt even pity ur husband ..he is trying to build a comfortable home for u and ur child . ur trying to rub shoulder to ur husband . 2-3yr now if that man finally make it and go marry a new young pretty wife .u will say he is wicked u suffered with him.. Look at the stress ur giving him ? U knew HE DON'T av d money for Daughter schl fee. and U have but u refuse to pay. Giving the man high blood pressure..let me ask u a simple question..

even if u divorced , will you be able to bear it knowing well ur child is at home all day with u ?

You're Very Stupid

Zykod:
You are not seeing it the way it's happening. I'm a man let me explain, the man doesn't give two hoots about the daughter, he also cares less about the family.

The man is all about the money, he wants the woman to make the money, give to him and he'll do what he wants to do, anything less than this is a NO-NO for him. He can't afford the woman making decisions and ascribes it as pride the woman may be willing to work with him, but he wants none of it.


I've seen this kinds before, they want to be the one dishing out goodies at all time and won't settle for being a beneficiary of anyone's goodies, she married a man who needs some psychological re-adjustment if the home will standb Little wonder why single lades are not taking some of serious. If i have a wife that can bring something to the table,i'll gladly accept it, call her to the dining table, and discuss, this and that is the way forward this is what's gonna happen.

I'm too-rich for now, but you take the lead, while i go hustle, but na lie, the pride-demon in him will not let him to the right thing, she should be helpless while he should be the one doing the sepnding is his fixated ideology about marriage. This woman here has no issue oh, her hands are clean, its the man that needs to grow up..


Not a prophet of doom, but the only way this woman can enjoy her marriage is only if the man earns more money, which wont happen, no be curse, God seeing and knowing the kind of man he is will bless this woman more and more, and more. She will keep earning more and more than him, and if he can't deal with it, it's going to create more tension between them....Divorce is not the case here, i suggest oP settles for a long term rocky relationship. This is not a happy union obviously....She married a wrong man.


Give me a woman that earns more than me, and i'll happily pull my chair saw woman kneel down, pray for her to continue to earn more, ask her to make me chicken peppersoup every night, while i hustle, i'll enjoy her success without envying it. Marriage is not a battle ground. Competiton creates strife even in marriage, the both genders are meant to complement one another and not try to kill one another in the name of you earn more than me and i can't take it. God give me a millionaire wife, i will gladly accept it, as long as it comes with humility, submissiveness and Godliness...

Nice points.

jaszplus12:
I beg can you throw more light on...."he said lailai I should go the same way I came"?
where you not legally married? did he pay a bride price? has he no relations? and what about your relations?

Got married at the registry, Traditionally and even in church.....He has relations and they stay very close to us, His father is presently down with an ailment i would not like to mention, so I decided I won't be going to bug him with our marital woes, besides the said man has on two different occasions settled our differences and I won't like to disturb him ever again...

NoToPile:
Nice points.

I'm humbled. Thanks

See oP, let's treat this issue like a family matter so we can get head way, this issue doesn't warrant a divroce. The man wants to " feel like the boss ", you cna give him the feeling or make him experince it without necessarily giving him your money. By not taking decisions first but going to him, my husband, this , that and that, we need to do this , that and that, and he comes but you know how finances are, then you chip in sheepishly, it's okay, i understand, i have this, that and that, what do you think. Make him feel his the one taking the decision, it's a subtle control technique to make him do your will without force. It works 100%, it works on any human being, just make him feel he's the one taking the deicison even when your finances are involved and he'll assume greater control, respect and need which he doesn't want to lose to you, and watch things change for the better


oP, i hope you know this struggle is about your money sha. Don't hand it to him o.Do not ever ever try it.

Laeroy:
Got married at the registry, Traditionally and even in church.....He has relations and they stay very close to us, His father is presently down with an ailment i would not like to mention, so I decided I won't be going to bug him with our marital woes, besides the said man has on two different occasions settled our differences and I won't like to disturb him ever again...

good...now here's the situation: if you report at that registry he's bound to know he has a responsibility in this situation... they will settle the case amicably ...is registry not as good as court marriage? did he read the "terms and conditions" of registry before signing the dotted lines?
please see a responsible barrister at law on this issue...he will let you know and have your rights.

Zykod:
He thinks you being at his mercy is submissiveness. He needs a mentor to talk to him, his ideologies is the problem. There's no witch behind your marital issues, your hubbies' ideologies is the problem



You don't know me but i think the punishment or re-balancing tool God is giivng you in your marriage is your financial prowess. Your husband want you to completely live off him so he can manipulate and control you. He wants to emasculate you, and your not following the script makes you unsubmissive, you will need plenty of patience to remain with this man.I dont advocate divorce, neither will i ever condemn him, it's just how he sees life and what he has been exposed to that's the problem

The funniest thing is that he accuses me of same, He said my ideologies bout marriage are now obsolete and that I must discard them, This is majorly the cause of the never ending issues btw us, But each time he wants to make me feel guilty, he reminds me of Ephesians 5:22-23, (The submission Tales), however I also remind him of christ being the head of the church , which he is to submit to, which makes me ask him all the time.,,.Daniel, Do u submit to Christ in everything you do

jaszplus12:
good...now here's the situation: if you report at that registry he's bound to know he has a responsibility in this situation... they will settle the case amicably ...is registry not as good as court marriage? did he read the "terms and conditions" of registry before signing the dotted lines?
please see a responsible barrister at law on this issue...he will let you know and have your rights.

All right bro.......

Laeroy:
The funniest thing is that he accuses me of same, He said my ideologies bout marriage are now obsolete and that I must discard them, This is majorly the cause of the never ending issues btw us, But each time he wants to make me feel guilty, he reminds me of Ephesians 5:22-23, (The submission Tales), however I also remind him of christ being the head of the church , which he is to submit to, which makes me ask him all the time.,,.Daniel, Do u submit to Christ in everything you do

Submission took many of our mothers into conditions they didnt like. Yes, Christ advocates submission to husbands, but there's an unwritten clause in that scripture that gives a woman the right to " withdraw " not rebel, notice my choice of word, to withdraw when she senses the man isn't following a safe course. You're both incompatible, you have ideological incompatibility, but you just didn't check or overlooked it before marriage.


What is in your heart madam? I perceive in my spirit, the relationship is far from healthy, but what do you really want yourself



Making a woman enslaved to a man's will is not submissiveness Christ spoke about. Submissiveness implies supporting the man, being this pillar of strength when needs arises, trusting him to make the right judgement and willign your decision in line with his to make the right calls for you both, not individually. Do you discuss and plan together? Do we work out how to carry out projects with one another? Is it a sergent lead and you must follow even if you have that gut-feeling you shouldn't follow relationship? Truth is a woman should follow her man, but if and when he persistently make the wrong calls, no woman with her right senses will want to remain on such track 100%


Whatever you do, do not hand him the control of your life.

Zykod:
You are not seeing it the way it's happening. I'm a man let me explain, the man doesn't give two hoots about the daughter, he also cares less about the family.

The man is all about the money, he wants the woman to make the money, give to him and he'll do what he wants to do, anything less than this is a NO-NO for him. He can't afford the woman making decisions and ascribes it as pride, the woman may be willing to work with him, but he wants none of it.


I've seen this kinds before, they want to be the one dishing out goodies at all time and won't settle for being a beneficiary of anyone's goodies, she married a man who needs some psychological re-adjustment if the home will stand. Little wonder why single lades are not taking some of serious. If i have a wife that can bring something to the table,i'll gladly accept it, call her to the dining table, and discuss, this and that is the way forward this is what's gonna happen.

I'm too-rich for now, but you take the lead, while i go hustle, but na lie, the pride-demon in him will not let him to the right thing, she should be helpless while he should be the one doing the sepnding is his fixated ideology about marriage. This woman here has no issue oh, her hands are clean, its the man that needs to grow up..


Not a prophet of doom, but the only way this woman can enjoy her marriage is only if the man earns more money, which wont happen, no be curse, God seeing and knowing the kind of man he is will bless this woman more and more, and more. She will keep earning more and more than him, and if he can't deal with it, it's going to create more tension between them....Divorce is not the case here, i suggest oP settles for a long term rocky relationship. This is not a happy union obviously....She married a wrong man.


Give me a woman that earns more than me, and i'll happily pull my chair saw woman kneel down, pray for her to continue to earn more, ask her to make me chicken peppersoup every night, while i hustle, i'll enjoy her success without envying it. Marriage is not a battle ground. Competiton creates strife even in marriage, the both genders are meant to complement one another and not try to kill one another in the name of you earn more than me and i can't take it. God give me a millionaire wife, i will gladly accept it, as long as it comes with humility, submissiveness and Godliness...

yea man...I like your analysis! kudos...

jaszplus12:
yea man...I like your analysis! kudos...

I'm just a small boy. Thanks Sir

pocohantas:
That is the last thing I will ever do!! Never!

I think OP's marriage can still be salvaged. They both have to calm down a bit,though I understand her anger.

The child should go to school too, he/she doesn't have to be punished for the sins of the father.

it can be salvaged if they are both willing to make it work. Takes two to tango.

Zykod:
I'm just a small boy. Thanks Sir

no small boy for ability o! I'm impressed all the same! cheers.

jaszplus12:
no small boy for ability o! I'm impressed all the same! cheers.

Tushe. Thank you Sir.

Zykod:
Submission took many of our mothers into conditions they didnt like. Yes, Christ advocates submission to husbands, but there's an unwritten clause in that scripture that gives a woman the right to " withdraw " not rebel, notice my choice of word, to withdraw when she senses the man isn't following a safe course. You're both incompatible, you have ideological incompatibility, but you just didn't check or overlooked it before marriage.


What is in your heart madam? I perceive in my spirit, the relationship is far from healthy, but what do you really want yourself



Making a woman enslaved to a man's will is not submissiveness Christ spoke about. Submissiveness implies supporting the man, being this pillar of strength when needs arises, trusting him to make the right judgement and willign your decision in line with his to make the right calls for you both, not individually. Do you discuss and plan together? Do we work out how to carry out projects with one another? Is it a sergent lead and you must follow even if you have that gut-feeling you shouldn't follow relationship? Truth is a woman should follow her man, but if and when he persistently make the wrong calls, no woman with her right senses will want to remain on such track 100%


Whatever you do, do not hand him the control of your life.

Yes bro, we have plans, We have finance consuming plans, The problem is who foots the bills, So this year I told him wT i wanted to do wt d savings, he didn't object neither did he support me, but he wanted to use the money for ( buy and sell used cars business), I agreed to lend him the money but then he knows he must return it, unfortunately the plan didn't workout until D's fight came up.....

Update--- He's presently in the living room, while I'm at the bedroom.... Both pressing fones away
..

Laeroy:
Yes bro, we have plans, We have finance consuming plans, The problem is who foots the bills, So this year I told him wT i wanted to do wt d savings, he didn't object neither did he support me, but he wanted to use the money for ( buy and sell used cars business), I agreed to lend him the money but then he knows he must return it, unfortunately the plan didn't workout until D's fight came up.....

Update--- He's presently in the living room, while I'm at the bedroom.... Both pressing fones away
..

I asked you a question Madam, i'll ask again, what do you want in your heart? Do you want to win him back? Divorce? What exactly do you want?


You both need to speak with a counselor, i recommend speaking to a senior pastor in your church or someone you both respect. You have differences that can be easily addressed if there's a matured handler to mediate in this crisis

Zykod:
I asked you a question Madam, i'll ask again, what do you want in your heart? Do you want to win him back? Divorce? What exactly do you want?


You both need to speak with a counselor, i recommend speaking to a senior pastor in your church or someone you both respect. You ha differences that can be easily addressed if there's a matured handler to mediate in this crisis

Yes I do love him, but if I can turn bk the clocks hand I'll be with a person who is more understanding and open minded, I wouldn't want divorce cos of the way it's been viewed in this part of the world, and also for the child's sake but then I'm opened to it as I can't always ba at the receiving end of a man's constant psychological and emotional abuse....

Laeroy:
Yes I do love him, but if I can turn bk the clocks hand I'll be with a person who is more understanding and open minded, I wouldn't want divorce cos of the way it's been viewed in this part of the world, and also for the child's sake but then I'm opened to it as I can't always ba at the receiving end of a man's constant psychological and emotional abuse....

My spirit is telling me there's life in this marriage and you shouldn't leave. I want you to accord him the respect he craves for. Especially now he's at his lows, he needs it, he needs that affirmation that you respect him, especially since his business failed. It wasn't his fault, please can you look over the business failure. Funny thing is, he's remorseful but won't tell you.You can spice up things in this marriage by :

1.According him more respect, elt him feel something has changed

2. Discuss with him and seek his approval especially if you will be using your money for stuffs that affects both of you,make him know his the head and you believe it is right to get his approval before doing anything. He's not made of stone, he'll come back and love you more, trust me.

3. Get an elder to mentor your relationship, but of you are almost equals, by getting an elder(pastor), you can be both more open and discuss what's in both of your hearts to one another. In the end, what you both hid in your hearts takes a significant part of what's eating you both up.


Finally, i counsel making him his fav meals, tell him you want to remember how you both started, and you both need to discuss, and talk with him, he's not a demon, have an heart to heart talk, he'll open up to you. From there, you can both find your way

Laeroy:
Yes I do love him, but if I can turn bk the clocks hand I'll be with a person who is more understanding and open minded, I wouldn't want divorce cos of the way it's been viewed in this part of the world, and also for the child's sake but then I'm opened to it as I can't always ba at the receiving end of a man's constant psychological and emotional abuse....

Madam, just like someone mentioned, you come off as someone that is strong headed. You mind seem made up and some inexperienced, unmarried, or divorced folks on this thread have reinforced your plans which seem to be going well for you but here is the thing; they won't be there the moment you leave and you try finding your footings, nah.

Interestingly, I noticed you didn't mention a thing about him not trying to get jobs or work. Rather, your grouse is that he doesn't share the workload with you. The man has a battered ego already and you have done what a typical, average Nigerian woman would (apologies to all women); strip him of respect and worth. You have stamped your authority on his face which seems to annoy him a lot and he believes you leaving would make him feel better.

See, life has taught me that there are ways you can call a man stupid without him being offended. Sadly, your tactfulness is missing.

I understand that you gave a lot to have a home and you are prolly frustrated over financial matters simply because the man you married isn't in charge financially. However, there are certain things that begs for answers here which I wouldn't want to point out.

This isn't me supporting another man. This is me understanding that lack of money can deal a man tons of blow, so much so that his psyche would be thoroughly affected. I am sure he isn't happy that he cannot take care of his immediate family. You have a source of income, albeit little. Use it to the best of your advantage without having to rub it in his face.

If you claim you are ready to divorce him just because you don't want to be the subject of emotional abuse then take it from me that you are not entirely a wise woman. If your sole purpose of settling for divorce is just so because you want to equally have a day when he threatens you, then there something is amiss. You are his wife, supposedly his manager.

Your episode makes me question if you ever had had marriage counselling sessions prior your wedding. You guys need to see one urgently.

Laeroy:
Yes as I do no have a choice given his constant Threats , what if he dies today, I'll be left a widow with nothing ....

The issue is and has always being Finance, Initially I used to support him very well with the Money I had, Infact I gave him my everything, The problem started when he asked me to resign my job ,I used to work with a FMCG company in Lagos, I resigned and relocated to where he stays, I gave him all the savings I had on me, But being a woman with needs I'll complain, the complains often leads to argument in which he will say If im not ready to cope , I should leave, And so being used to dat constant threat , I decided to start saving from any earnings I made, he prefers dat I work and use my earnings to run the home, yle his net income is nothing to write home about, cos he sometimes last year collected loan to build his house, yle the house suffers...

This man does not include me in his plan, he will only just say it literally dat all that he is doing is for my kid and I but when there's an issue he is usually quick to use the phrase "If u can't submit to me, GO"...

So dat made me stubborn about my decisions, I started saving from my earning, I saved About 450,000 from Laundry and my online business...Ever since I had the money in my account, he has been behaving funny, he said I'm being rude to him cos of the money I have and dat he gives me just dis year, I'll squander the money and asks me to leave if I can't key into his goals and dreams......

so I told him to let us make it official, The truth is dat, I have supported him in the past, I still do support him but with very little.....

Our child is at home......but supposed to be in school now, he doesn't have the money to take her to school, and I'm not ready to remove from my savings....I've told him he is the man of the house and A man is supposed to provide necessary things for the upkeep of the family, he said my duties in the house can't be limited to domestic chores alone but to assist with everything I have, And im hell bent on not doing dat, That is and has always been the Bone of contention between us....

I think what your family needs is counselling, And I don't understand how you can comfortably allow your child stay away from school when you can do something about it all because you want to make a point.That you are considering terminating your widely role doesn't mean you should also terminate your motherly role

Am I the only one seeing that the husband said she should do most of the laundry work ( washing, ironing and starching) plus the house responsibilities and taking care of the child.

Is it too much for her to ask for the laundry work to be shared equally between them, yes any woman would ask for that noow?

Is laundry that easy a job to do for a woman at a commercial scale? What man would want to overwork his woman to that extent, I am almost certain it's being ironed and starched by hand.




That's where I had a problem with this whole story.

Zykod:
My spirit is telling me there's life in this marriage and you shouldn't leave. I want you to accord him the respect he craves for. Especially now he's at his lows, he needs it, he needs that affirmation that you respect him, especially since his business failed. It wasn't his fault, please can you look over the business failure. Funny thing is, he's remorseful but won't tell you.You can spice up things in this marriage by :

1.According him more respect, elt him feel something has changed

I do respect him to the best of my ability....I guess I'll have to be utterly silent now when he speaks so as to avoid further commotion..

2. Discuss with him and seek his approval especially if you will be using your money for stuffs that affects both of you,make him know his the head and you believe it is right to get his approval before doing anything. He's not made of stone, he'll come back and love you more, trust me.[/quote]Zykod, I used to be that way, this is someone who has access to my atm card and pin but I do not have access to his even when he had money in his account, When he discussed the issue of changing the car, It wasn't convenient for me, but I had to oblige his request of getting it, There are still so much more I have done here dat I can't even mention, My pain is the (Park and Go threat and also not doing everything to include me in his will), God forbid he dies tomorrow, do u think it will be easy for me to have access to whatever he owned, I have spent my income on frivolities in the past but he spends his on Assets, Education yle I'm supposed to be at his Mercy......All my efforts on the family are not seen yle his are seen...

Just the other day, One sister in my church was sent parking from her husband house, if the lady didn't have a second plan( she was building her house), she will prolly be the only one at the receiving end of the marriage break up....

3. Get an elder to mentor your relationship, but of you are almost equals, by getting an elder(pastor), you can be both more open and discuss what's in both of your hearts to one another. In the end, what you both hid in your hearts takes a significant part of what's eating you both up.

I can open all that is in my heart, initially I was like dat, I told him that I love being blunt and cos we are one he should be able to know everything going on in me, but everytime we have a fight, he will use my words against me always....So I have decided to keep secrets to myself alone, but then most times I can't help, I'll just be forced to tell him but he still ends up using them against me...


To tell the truth, My husband looks very cool, infact his reputation in church is per excellence. (he holds some crucial post in the church and used to be the president of the youth forum) but people view me to be the No nonsense kind of person, so no one would believe me when I tell dem dat he is very adamant, governed by policies (especially submission policy), and would not change it ever for anything........I told him to his time one time dat he is an asslicker and full of eye service, he always love to be seen in good light....dats why most time in church, sometimes people talk anyhow to him but he will be dere laughing like a fool, but try dat with him at home.....all hell will be let loose......



Finally, i counsel making him his fav meals, tell him you want to remember how you both started, and you both need to discuss, and talk with him, he's not a demon, have an heart to heart talk, he'll open up to you. From there, you can both find your way[/quote]For countless number of times i have made him his fav. meal after a fight but after finished meal, we will need money to buy another meal, Na there fight go come start again.....
This year alone he has more than 500k debt to clear.....He has gone to borrow money from the bank again to clear the tuition fee of his younger sister who is still in an higher institution but his own child can't go to school just becos he Feels dat his wife has money and must use dat on her....

Zykod, I have heard all that u said......I'll treat him with all the respect he wants, But I'll not foolishly hand over my investments to him, even if I do it will be for major investments....Not eat and run (lol).....

Laeroy:
....

Yes, please be silent. Don't talk about issues that led to your quarrels anymore.

Please forget about the loan, it's not his fault the business didn't go as planned.

PLEASE MADAM, DO NOT INSULT YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE A THIRD PARTY ANYMORE, OR CHALLENGE HIM EVEN WHEN HES WRONG. FIND A TACTFUL WAY OF DELIVERING THE MESSAGE IN YOUR HEART TO HIM.


THIS IS WRONG@

.I told him to his time one time dat he is an asslicker and full of eye service, he always love to be seen in good light....dats why most time in church, sometimes people talk anyhow to him but he will be dere laughing like a fool, but try dat with him at home.....all hell will be let loose......


IF THEPROBLEM PERSISTS, I STRONGLY ADVICEYOU VISIT AN ELDER PASTOR IN YOUR CHURCH FOR SPIRITUAL OVERSIGHT. BUT I SEE LOTS OF INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES BETWEEN YOU BOTH, IT'S PROBABLY ONE OR BOTH OF YOU CHANGED IN THE MARRIAGE. IN THE END, YOU BOTH NEED REGULAR MENTORSHIP, SOMEONE TO MENTOR YOUR MARRIAGE SO YOU BOTH CAN NAVIGATE THE STRAIT BEFORE YOU. THIS MARRIAGE CAN STILL PULL THROUGH....I DON'T SEE THE NEED FOR A DIVORCE, BUT LIKE I SAID EARLIER, PREPARE FOR AVERY LONG ROCKY RELATIONSHIP...

DearPeople:
Madam, just like someone mentioned, you come off as someone that is strong headed. You mind seem made up and some inexperienced, unmarried, or divorced folks on this thread have reinforced your plans which seem to be going well for you but here is the thing; they won't be there the moment you leave and you try finding your footings, nah.

Interestingly, I noticed you didn't mention a thing about him not trying to get jobs or work. Rather, your grouse is that he doesn't share the workload with you. The man has a battered ego already and you have done what a typical, average Nigerian woman would (apologies to all women); strip him of respect and worth. You have stamped your authority on his face which seems to annoy him a lot and he believes you leaving would make him feel better.

See, life has taught me that there are ways you can call a man stupid without him being offended. Sadly, your tactfulness is missing.

I understand that you gave a lot to have a home and you are prolly frustrated over financial matters simply because the man you married isn't in charge financially. However, there are certain things that begs for answers here which I wouldn't want to point out.

This isn't me supporting another man. This is me understanding that lack of money can deal a man tons of blow, so much so that his psyche would be thoroughly affected. I am sure he isn't happy that he cannot take care of his immediate family. You have a source of income, albeit little. Use it to the best of your advantage without having to rub it in his face.

If you claim you are ready to divorce him just because you don't want to be the subject of emotional abuse then take it from me that you are not entirely a wise woman. If your sole purpose of settling for divorce is just so because you want to equally have a day when he threatens you, then there something is amiss. You are his wife, supposedly his manager.

Your episode makes me question if you ever had had marriage counselling sessions prior your wedding. You guys need to see one urgently.

Nice one

Oh dear! Biko take things easy. Don't pack out. Don't go to court. You may want to take a short trip. Maybe go to another town for holiday. Then have a heart to heart with him. The house is for you two.

Yes, I totally agree that it is important we make our money too. Pack out of my house ke? Dearest Lord, give me a husband that is sane enough not to threaten me with that which I abhor. I don't wanna be pushed to call his bluff cos I'm a bull that don't fight, pushed to fight, I do so with vigor...it is well.

U go fear na. Annoying guy is even asking her to leave with the kid. Mchewww

ImaIma1:
But she can go abi

Laeroy:
The only job I have is the laundry service which I offer.....I really don't earn much from it. dats my pain......On an average i only earn 25,000 every month....but I'm ready to leave and start life somewhere else...I only want a share of my possessions for the past years I have been with him....I feel he used me in the past and must pay for it....

v

Just be submissive.. If you love him, you should stay. The reason you rant is just because you are more financial stable than him.

Remix10:
v

Just be submissive.. If you love him, you should stay. The reason you rant is just because you are more financial stable than him.

I love him so much, meanwhile I said before in my previous post that we have always argued and fought about this issue even wen I was idle and had no kobo on me....Anyways thanks for the advice sir or ma...