₦airaland Forum

Wallade:
Please educate me on where you are today

I won't answer this question of yours and take note that I used the word "we".

LordKO:
The meaning of feminism is as ambiguous as the meaning of love. Therefore, personally, I don't see one who possess the qualities you listed as a true feminist - to me those are wannabe feminists, they're simply small-minded. This class of feminists usually possess sexist, arrogant, conceited and domineering attitudes. Also, they're hypocritically disingenuous - they're like their small-minded male counterparts.

Meanwhile, true feminists are proponents and practitioners of egalitarianism, conscientiousness and first between equals in romantic relationship/marriage (with the sane/nobleman as the first of the equals). They simply abhor subjugation in any form and guise. Believe you me, they're the best set of females to associate with. They're usually not just only smart and clever but equally insightful, outspoken, selfless and unassuming.

I love real feminists.

You are a sensible man.

iRepNaija1:
OP, your first and fourth point sound the same.

As to your second point, wouldn't each, different couple deal with those questions the best way they see fit and what works for them?

To your third point, the divorce rate is high in the west but that doesn't stem from the feminist movement. Each marriage is different and people choose to end them for different reasons. But to blame the divorce rate on a group of women is irresponsible. No one should be shamed if they choose to stay in a marriage or leave it. Moreover, we Nigerians tend to believe that as long as you're married, even if it's a bad marriage, that's somehow better.

OP, you have this sad, inaccurate caricature of what a feminist is. Feminists are women and men, young and old, and rich or poor. They come from all walks of life and experiences because feminism is about the social, political, and economic equality between both men and women. Not this imaginary woman you've conjured in your head who is angry and miserable and going to fight you tooth and nail about everything, who you so earnestly believe is taking power away from you. Feminism is about choice: a man should be able to enjoy and want to cook and clean, if that's what he desires, without his masculinity being questioned. He should be able to cry without being seen as weak. A woman should be able to be as independent and as successful as she wants without having to worry about threatening the man. A woman should have equal pay to men for equal work and not be punished with a lower salary because her employer thinks she may get pregnant and start a family.

Your post is superb wonderful points and observation.

cc: lalasticlala

donstan18:
Feminist baby

Saying your re a proud feminist got me laughing

Please don't quote me again at all.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Please don't quote me again at all.

C'mon shut up, osiso

Nairaland feminist

donstan18:
C'mon shut up, osiso
Nairaland feminist

Did you see me talk?Amebo.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Did you see me talk?Amebo.

Itiboribo she thinks "Shut" v"got to do with talking alone
Proud feminist
Rolling on the floor laughing hard
U nogo kill me

donstan18:
Itiboribo she thinks "Shut" v"got to do with talking alone

Proud feminist

Rolling on the floor laughing hard

U nogo kill me

No it also has to do with typing and writing.You never wan die so nor laugh.Anyway don't quote me again and I would try to ignore you if you do so.Amebo.

Ladyhippolyta88:
No it also has to do with typing and writing.You never wan die so nor laugh.Anyway don't quote me again and I would try to ignore you if you do so.Amebo.

Nne, kindly shut up you keep making me laugh with your feminist claims

I'll keep quoting you, u go kill me?

Amoeba

donstan18:
Nne, kindly shut up you keep making me laugh with your feminist claims

I'll keep quoting you, u go kill me?

Amoeba

Amebo is not Amoeba and both meanings are different otondo.Well nor be today you start to laugh every of your quotes you have always claimed of laughing.Seriously stop it.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Amebo is not Amoeba and both meanings are different otondo.Well nor be today you start to laugh every of your quotes you have always claimed of laughing.Seriously stop it.

Is it your "Amu"? or your "Eba"? Nairaland Amoebaist be forming feminist

It's better to claim "Laugh" than to claim "vexed and mean" when you are way different in real, just like you

Itiboribo

donstan18:
Is it your "Amu"? or your "Eba"? Nairaland Amoebaist be forming feminist

It's better to claim "Laugh" than to claim "vexed and mean" when you are way different in real, just like you

Itiboribo

Why am I answering you?Well it seems you know me to my house and everything I do.Seriously donstan or whatever your name is this I know you in real life thing is annoying.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Why am I answering you?Well it seems you know me to my house and everything I do.Seriously donstan or whatever your name is this I know you in real life thing is annoying.

You re answering me because your stubbornness couldn't allow you obey me by shutting up

I know you, u re fake you de form stonch here, but obviously humble in real

Saying I'm annoying in real is an understatement, i'm a devil

Iti

MensCabal:
Men's Cabal focuses on the Nigerian man bringing out the true value of the Nigerian man, we would love to see you there as our posts are not only meant to educate, but entertain and make this Buhari regime a lot easier for Nigerian men

niceone,i have bn working on a men's blog too,but have been lazy on it,i will support your work though,men really need to come together,the world has been setting us up to destroy us in recent years,men need to wake up.

donstan 18, i see u feeding ur little ego by needling her constantly. What have you achieved? . You claim nairaland feminists are fake and cannot hold a conversation. With people like you on Nairaland, we really cant have much to say can we?

Andracarles:
donstan 18, i see u feeding ur little ego by needling her constantly. What have you achieved? . You claim nairaland feminists are fake and cannot hold a conversation. With people like you on Nairaland, we really cant have much to say can we?

What's your point ?

MensCabal:
You don't have to go to church before you can say you are a Christian and the same way with feminists. [b]Anyone can be a feminist and most guys can't identify the traits that differentiate the wannabes from the real feminists. [/b]So I write it in general for their understanding, while you who have a higher understanding can still understand.

Although, there is an article on the cabal website taht talks about 4 reasons why NIgeiran Men should date femininsts, the true feminists... YOu can check it out on www.menscabal.com

I already said in my earlier post that feminists come from all walks of life. The issue I have with your topic is that you're giving confusing and inaccurate statements about feminists and feminism (and directing people to your blog on top of that). And for those who may not understand feminism, both men and women, they should pick up a book and learn, just like I did and just like you should.

lefulefu:
hehe tied with clothes. Well i am fine.gud evenin my dear.

lol..morning to you

Ladyhippolyta88:
Your post is superb wonderful points and observation.

Thank you.

femi has come again with nists..ah les ask mugabe

trustyshoess:
Those job roles you just mentioned are already carried out by women in forward thinking societies. This is what feminism is about, giving women the right to work in whatever role they want as long as they are qualified and competent. There are male nurses and midwives, male ticket sellers, the taxi I got in 2 weeks ago was driven by a woman. Everybody should be free to do what they like and are passionate about (as long as they're qualified), not held back by archaic social norms that do nothing but make people miserable

I stand for:

Equality in Dignity irrespective of Gender, Race, Religion etc.
Equality in Opportunities irrespective of the same above.

but I believe in the concept of Gender Roles both in marriage/family and in society. I however believe that those who want to be exceptions should be allowed (given the opportunity) to do so.

Am I a feminist?

monex:
I stand for:

Equality in Dignity irrespective of Gender, Race, Religion etc.
Equality in Opportunities irrespective of the same above.

but I believe in the concept of Gender Roles both in marriage/family and in society. I however believe that those who want to be exceptions should be allowed (given the opportunity) to do so.

Am I a feminist?

What do you mean by gender roles? For example do you believe that it is a woman's job to stay at home, give birth, cook and clean, while it's the man's job to work and pay all the bills?
Could you also explain what kind of societal gender roles you believe in? Thanks

Feminists believe in CHOICE when it comes to gender roles. It should be a woman's choice (depending on how the household is set up) if she wants to be a housewife, not an expectation.
As a feminist, as much as I believe it's unfair to EXPECT a woman to be in the kitchen all day cooking and cleaning like a maid, l also think it's unfair to EXPECT a man to be the sole bread winner who pays all the bills, especially in these times where everything is expensive. That's why equal opportunities in work are important for women so that they can support their household and not have to depend on their husbands, increasing his burden.

trustyshoess:
What do you mean by gender roles? For example do you believe that it is a woman's job to stay at home, give birth, cook and clean, while it's the man's job to work and pay all the bills?
Could you also explain what kind of societal gender roles you believe in? Thanks

Feminists believe in CHOICE when it comes to gender roles. It should be a woman's choice (depending on how the household is set up) if she wants to be a housewife, not an expectation.
As a feminist, as much as I believe it's unfair to EXPECT a woman to be in the kitchen all day cooking and cleaning like a maid, l also think it's unfair to EXPECT a man to be the sole bread winner who pays all the bills, especially in these times where everything is expensive. That's why equal opportunities in work are important for women so that they can support their household and not have to depend on their husbands, increasing his burden.

gender roles means roles/behaviors that are considered desirable or appropriate for a particular gender. A lot of it stems from the perceived physiology and/or psychology of a gender and is usually defined by culture and/or religion.

for instance, a man being the head of the home/ primary provider is a gender role. A woman managing the home is equally a gender role. A man proposing to a woman is a gender behavior. A woman changing her surname to her husband's is equally a gender behavior.

A belief in gender roles by one person does not infringe on another's right to go against the percieved gender role.

A lady who proposes to her fiance has no wrong. similarly a man who changes his surname to that of his wife.

We should have an opportunity to become what we want to become. This is what society can enforce. Society cannot force people to like/support others who go against the perceived gender role.

If I (a guy) don't want to be the one to propose to my fiancee, I should find a lady who shares my mindset. I wouldnt hate ladies who expect to be proposed to.

if I (a lady) don't want to have primary responsibility for cooking, I would find a guy who does not expect me to be responsible for cooking. I wouldn't hate guys who expect their wives to be responsible for cooking.

Gender roles do not infringe on ones dignity or opportunity to become whatever one wants to become.

I have met a few who claim feminist and trust me they are bitter people.

Equal right comes with equal responsibility but our own Naija feminists don't want equal responsibility how selfish of them.

Don't mind these ones online, in real life they might be as loyal as a pet dog

babasolution:
niceone,i have bn working on a men's blog too,but have been lazy on it,i will support your work though,men really need to come together,the world has been setting us up to destroy us in recent years,men need to wake up.

Hello, Babasolution, Men' Cabal is like a project I am working on and I need guys who are really interested in bringing men together, I can think of many ways to make revenue from the site and also create impact.

If you are interested, you can join the idea and we can be the founders of the site and build it to what it should be. Just reply this mention if you are interested in building the site together.

You mean Feminazi not Feminism , There's nothing wrong with Feminism but I don't think Women in Nigeria can practice real feminism because that would mean taking as much responsibilities as men in all ramification , some ladies that but most women can't especially those whose livelihood is dependant on their womanhood. See the issue of the Grid girls case. The first test of feminism in Nigeria is deciding to break away from bride price which I feel most brides can't .

babasolution:
am very interested

ok.. where are you based?

amokeme:
The emphasis on the female gender is too blown.

one spotted