₦airaland Forum

Good evening ma,

I dont know if I am over reacting but let me tell you what is going on first. And please ,feel free to tell me if you think I am over reacting. My wife is giving me serious problems because of her insecurities. Abigail is on the plum side. I think she didnt even belief I was going to actually marry her. When I proposed to her,she asked me why her,of all the slim girls around. Well,for me as a man,I really didnt find anyone who I thought was a wife material like Abigail. Abigail is a good cook. A good home maker. She takes care of the house,everywhere is always clean and tidy. She knows how to pray and she is also trying in the other room department.

My only problem with her is that since we got married,she is always feeling insecure with her weight. And once she sees any lady around me,she begins to get jealous. Initially,i told her to relax that I married her not the girls she is afraid of. But this woman cat stop. It got to point,she would start invading my space on social media. She practically told every facebook friend that is female that I am married and therefore stay away. Some people were embarrassed by her actions. Even me,I was embarrassed.

She has gotten to a point where anytime a lady calls me,she wants to know who the person is,why are they calling,dont they know you are married. I tried talking to her to boost her confidence. I also tried to encourage her to loose some weight if thats her issue cos me I dont mind the weight. But she only went to the gym three times and said she couldnt continue.

Anytime we have a misunderstanding,she always cries and says its because I dont like her because she is heavy. That she knows I will leave her one day. Again,I ignored her but she has continued. And I am beginning to think that one day I might leave her if she continues like this. I mean,I admit she is not that attractive but I didnt marry her because of her looks. I wanted someone to keep my home in peace. My job makes me meet alot of ladies,I work in an advertising firm. So I work with alot of ladies that are models. But Ii dont mess around wth the models even though some want to sleep with you just to get a job.

My wife was so sick when she was pregnant with our child. She had diabetes cos of her weight. Also high blood pressure. So I suggested she...


http://livelystones.com.ng/my-wifes-insecurities-will-soon-destroy-our-marriage/

hmmm

Who is your MA?

The dude is trying to make it look like she's the only problem in the marriage. I mean the negativity is glaring even though he is trying so hard to sugarcoat it. "She's TRYING in the bedroom", "She's not that attractive". Doesn't sound like the words of a very loving husband to me. More like a narcissistic somebody who married a woman for all the wrong reasons & is now trying to shift the blame on her.

Kindly go do unthinkable, nasty things to yourself, sir.

Remind her how much you love her everyday.

Leave a note for when u leaving for work or text her when you at work.

I'm also the insecured type but I feel very much better when my boyfrnd reminds me how much he loves me.

She's possibly using her weight and big look as a tool to manipulate, control and over monitor you, and you are falling for it. I doubt if an insecure married woman will deny her spouse sexual intercourse.

OR

We cannot totally conclude her attitude being prompted by the word "Insecurity" alone, I think she'v also got some atom of low self esteem, believing that you did her a favour by marrying her, thinking that she doesn't worth you, feeling that you married her for "home making" sake, not for love and attraction sake, hence prompting her being scared of loosing you.

I would have advised you to make her feel loved and show her the you love her.
But, the questions is

DO YOU ACTUALLY LOVE HER AS A WOMAN or AS A WIFE ?

Fake stories to get traffic

Picture of ur woman or super story.

The insecurity ruins your marriage if you let it.

Three things women crave most: security, love/affection and protection. Quote me anywhere.


Unless she has deep psych issues, the problem of her insecurity is partly your problem. You can solve this problem with time, patience and a lot of TLC.

Others have mentioned it:

-remind her everyday, every hour (if thats what it takes) that you genuinely love, care about her and her health.
- make her feel sexy and wanted ( whatever that is for her).
- communicate with her how she wants to be loved, or her love language and then do them.
-help her loose weight or eat right.
-reduce her insecurity by curtailing your interaction with other women.

Just use common sense! How did you woo her when you were dating? Begin to “date/court” her again.

This isnt hardwork, just takes some effort and romance.

You have a point there . If he truly loves her,he won't use the word ," not attractive "

XhosaNostra:
The dude is trying to make it look like she's the only problem in the marriage. I mean the negativity is glaring even though he is trying so hard to sugarcoat it. "She's TRYING in the bedroom", "She's not that attractive". Doesn't sound like the words of a very loving husband to me. More like a narcissistic somebody who married a woman for all the wrong reasons & is now trying to shift the blame on her.

Kindly go do unthinkable, nasty things to yourself, sir.

Perfect !!

Xiadnat:
The insecurity ruins your marriage if you let it.

Three things women crave most: security, love/affection and protection. Quote me anywhere.


Unless she has deep psych issues, the problem of her insecurity is partly your problem. You can solve this problem with time, patience and a lot of TLC.

Others have mentioned it:

-remind her everyday, every hour (if thats what it takes) that you genuinely love, care about her and her health.
- make her feel sexy and wanted ( whatever that is for her).
- communicate with her how she wants to be loved, or her love language and then do them.
-help her loose weight or eat right.
-reduce her insecurity by curtailing your interaction with other women.

Just use common sense! How did you woo her when you were dating? Begin to “date/court” her again.

This isnt hardwork, just takes some effort and romance.

preciousluv2018:
You have a point there . If he truly loves her,he won't use the word ," not attractive "

Exactly. Also note that not even once did he say he loves her. She's better off without HIM.

Yes. I noticed that too.

He should not blame the wife rather ,look out for a way to love her and help her out.

XhosaNostra:
Exactly. Also note that not even once did he say he loves her. She's better off without HIM.

XhosaNostra:
The dude is trying to make it look like she's the only problem in the marriage. I mean the negativity is glaring even though he is trying so hard to sugarcoat it. "She's TRYING in the bedroom", "She's not that attractive". Doesn't sound like the words of a very loving husband to me. More like a narcissistic somebody who married a woman for all the wrong reasons & is now trying to shift the blame on her.

Kindly go do unthinkable, nasty things to yourself, sir.

you just spoke my thoughts. Imagine nonsense, "she's not that attractive" when I read that part I just got pissed off. The guy is just a proud and stupid nig**. I just blame the poor wife cos he's just emotionally tormenting her, he just wants to make that poor lady feel that she's very lucky to have him because of looks. Talk about someone that claims to love his wife. My advice to him is that he should quit feeling like prince charming and start respecting his wife feelings

Tell her to join Keto

Anytime i want to swallow eba and i remember that an ordinary snake swallowed 36 million,i just loss appatite

sweerychick:
you just spoke my thoughts. Imagine nonsense, "she's not that attractive" when I read that part I just got pissed off. The guy is just a proud and stupid nig**. I just blame the poor wife cos he's just emotionally tormenting her, he just wants to make that poor lady feel that she's very lucky to have him because of looks. Talk about someone that claims to love his wife. My advice to him is that he should quit feeling like prince charming and start respecting his wife feelings

Exactly! Or better yet, leave her alone. It's not the end of the world if he leaves. He's so full of himself it's nauseating.

okay

Lol!

Xinjin:
Who is your MA?