Lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship-

Is it ever ok to seek out another person if your boyfriend or husband doesn't show you any affection no cuddle /kisses nothing or says they are tired and unwilling to engage in ANY intimacy? Ongoing long term?

What would you do in this situation? ? We are recently married my husband is from Nigeria I'm British citizen.

Why would you seek someone else?

If you haven't talked to your husband, do so. If you have talked to him repeatedly and he refuses to see reason, then decide if you want to leave the marriage or if you can do without sex.

Some hoes on NL will advice you to cheat, but don't do it. I repeat, don't do it.

I have spoken to him and promises he will change.
Feels like he's deliberately not wanting to change but not sure other reasoning.

maybe he is so busy making money or maybe he does not find u sexually attractive.either of them.

Nene05:
Lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship-

Is it ever ok to seek out another person if your boyfriend or husband doesn't show you any affection no cuddle /kisses nothing or says they are tired and unwilling to engage in ANY intimacy? Ongoing long term?

What would you do in this situation? ? We are recently married my husband is from Nigeria I'm British citizen.

Hope u don't have mouth odour or vg odour, could be d poor n!gga x still going through the trauma he passed through d last time he slept wiv u... I wonder y most couples now complain unnecessarily didn't u guys date at all?

Have you discussed the issue with him?

Is he going through a difficult time?
talk to him since he's your husband,if the problem persist then seek external help.

For now COMMUNICATION is very important and key to a successful bond.

lefulefu:
maybe he is so busy making money or maybe he does not find u sexually attractive.either of them.

He's always working but still need time as his wife

Headlesschicken:
Hope u don't have mouth odour or vg odour, could be d poor n!gga x still going through the trauma he passed through d last time he slept wiv u... I wonder y most couples now complain unnecessarily didn't u guys date at all?

My hygiene is good and other men find me attractive.
We dated briefly then his visa expired we got married and brought him here.

I could either leave him or move on with another man-one who wants to sleep with me.
I offered we talk to our pastor or doctor also tried talking about any concerns etc says thinks tiredness working and his daily drink beer habit.

pEnIs nor dey strong wen mony nor dey pocket....
sister pray for him to excel in his business or work place.
mean while be a patient and loving wife....

Nene05:


He's always working but still need time as his wife

well if i find my wife attractive i will always be cuddling and kissing wen i get d oppoetunity but i was forced to marry someone i dont like i wont even touch her.could be he's not attracted to d lady he is married to.

donkilidon:
pEnIs nor dey strong wen mony nor dey pocket....
sister pray for him to excel in his business or work place.
mean while be a patient and loving wife....

It's been 7 months I'm still human how long do I wait and patient for?

lefulefu:
well if i find my wife attractive i will always be cuddling and kissing wen i get d oppoetunity but i was forced to marry someone i dont like i wont even touch her.could be he's not attracted to d lady he is married to.

So maybe he doesn't want any kids family and only wanting visa? ?
It won't be extended so don't see the logic in this?

Given the situation do I hang around or find someone who wants a genuine intimate relationship.

7 months? that I s too long for married couples. tell him you want kids

Nene05:


It's been 7 months I'm still human how long do I wait and patient for?

wow!!! 7 months is long sister....buh r u saying in 7months not even once?

if so am seeing a bigger problem..

u might have to take a decision soon.
do u know his close frnds u can talk to?

Nene05:


So maybe he doesn't want any kids family and only wanting visa? ?
It won't be extended so don't see the logic in this?

Given the situation do I hang around or find someone who wants a genuine intimate relationship.

ahaaa! visa or greencard..i have even forgotten.search his facebook thoroughly and check if dere is any young lady amongst his friends list that has his surname.chances are he might have another hidden facebook account. painful as it sounds maybe hr might just be using u for papers.lemme jus give small expo.the average nigerian man does not like marrying a lady older than him and also d average nigerian man loves a woman who enters d kitchen to cook for him.so are u older than him? do u cook for him?

baralatie:
7 months? that I s too long for married couples.
tell him you want kids

the guy probably has kids in naija

Nene05:
Lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship-

Is it ever ok to seek out another person if your boyfriend or husband doesn't show you any affection no cuddle /kisses nothing or says they are tired and unwilling to engage in ANY intimacy? Ongoing long term?

What would you do in this situation? ? We are recently married my husband is from Nigeria I'm British citizen.

You signed the marriage contract. You are not supposed to break it. An agreement is an agreement.

cheating on your husband doesn't solve the problem..I suggest you sit him.down and tell him how you feel..
lack of communication in marriages is deadly

lefulefu:
the guy probably has kids in naija

let us assume he has kids in Nigeria. The only trick women use is to nag their husband's to give them kids in order to have sex.
That way if the husband is adamant not to be moved then the wife knows this relationship has a serious problem and the secret has to be found out just you said concerning a husband's social account

Uglymugg:
You signed the marriage contract. You are not supposed to break it. An agreement is an agreement.

I offered to speak with pastor councillors or for us to have an open marriage.

Uglymugg:
You signed the marriage contract. You are not supposed to break it. An agreement is an agreement.

if marriage is contract can she not challenge it if the other party refuses to fulfill his obligations

open marriage is the worst idea

Nene05:


It's been 7 months I'm still human how long do I wait and patient for?

Wait, 7 months without Sex or 7 months without constant sex? I know your answer would be the latter for sure except you are just lying.

baralatie:

let us assume he has kids in Nigeria. The only trick women use is to nag their husband's to give them kids in order to have sex.
That way if the husband is adamant not to be moved then the wife knows this relationship has a serious problem and the secret has to be found out just you said concerning a husband's social account

I don't nag him and NOT the stereotype fat old white lady.

He doesn't have any kids I would like us to start a family -if we had kids mabe I would not be as bothered

I'm 32 attractive black female.
I even stay home take care of the home cook clean and serve him.

truthsayer009:


Wait, 7 months without Sex or 7 months without constant sex? I know your answer would be the latter for sure except you are just lying.

No affection or intimacy in 7 months prior was ok
Sorry if my writing wasn't clear my apologies.

Even if it's not regular it's a start
All he wants to do is work sleep and drink his beer.

Nene05:


I don't nag him and NOT the stereotype fat old white lady.

He doesn't have any kids I would like us to start a family -if we had kids mabe I would not be as bothered

I'm 32 attractive black female.
I even stay home take care of the home cook clean and serve him

if you going to have babies you going to need a job.

still you might have to insist on babies if you want to break that deadlock in the bedroom without nagging if possible

baralatie:

if marriage is contract can she not challenge it if the other party refuses to fulfill his obligations

I don't know what marriage laws say about that, but if it's possible, she can, but if not she has to do her marital duty and remain a faithful wife.

Nene05:


I offered to speak with pastor councillors or for us to have an open marriage.

A Nigerian would never agree to an open marriage. Have you even tried talking to him? Was he always like this? Did you gain weight? Did you stop taking care of yourself? It's either this or he might be gay and using you as cover. I'm not saying this is what it is, but it's not impossible in this day and age.

Uglymugg:
I don't know what marriage laws say about that, but if it's possible, she can, but if not she has to do her marital duty and remain a faithful wife.

same thing goes the other way round.the man should fulfill his marital duties which includes faithfully bedding his wife.

do you even sleep on the same bed

CaZmir:


Have you discussed the issue with him?

Is he going through a difficult time?
talk to him since he's your husband,if the problem persist then seek external help.

For now COMMUNICATION is very important and key to a successful bond.

Suggested this just makes false promises that he will change then never does.

He says I'm trying to embarrass him by us seeking outside help.