bukatyne:


Dreams come true.

Well my Dad did it.
I'm doing it so sons will do too .
It's nothing like dream . You work 2wards it cos hard and honest work does pay

DonPiiko:
I can't marry a broke lady with nothing to her name as a personal policy, so u will be a disadvantage to me. That's my summary

Funny you.

If she is a liability to you financially, you are a liability to her domestically except you do chores with her.

It is not relaxing for ladies. House chores is not for the weak, it is demanding on its own. Then try doing house chores with a proper job and see if you won't cry all night.

I don't know the ladies you are talking about but I know that in most average homes I am familiar with, the woman carries the financial burden of the home equally. By equally, I am not talking about the amount she spends but the fact that she spends the same percentage as her husband. Basically, her life is not financially better sunless she is married to a rich guy.

Which hustling more? Where both couples 've the same work schedule, the wife is still expected to do more house chores! Where the husband may have more time in his hands, the wife is still expected to do more!

princefunmmy:

Its a two~way thing and couples are meant to compliment each other.
Life don't get harder for ladies it only becomes more of relaxing with less financial burden. But for the guys they have to hustle more and harder to make more money to care for his family and the demands. And you expect that same man going through such mental stress to still go through the stress of getting good food when he has a wife who doesnt go through that stress?

Safiaaa:
No thanks. But my dad is a Muslim.

i am just saying they share the sentiments you expressed there. I am not campaigning for muslim men. I am not muslim

pcguru1:
She has no point, not all household are run like that, she can speak for her marriage, a lot of couples these days come to an agreement , besides its in Nigeria that we actually have more housemaids than outside country especially in Lagos.

sharap there and look around you.

which housemaids? the ones that are underpaid because both the husband and wife can barely survive above minimum wage or the ones that indulge in child labour because the husband's Ego is too much to do housework and change napkin.

also see the number of monikers saying she should know that is how things are supposed to be.


the other day na one corper dey praise him mama how she sold fish to send him to school im sure she was probably doing all the emotional Labour and house work alone too.

kai if I have to marry one of these misogynistic Nigerian men he better be rich.

The worst thing that can happen to any woman is to marry a broke, misogynistic man that thinks household duties is for women alone.

They should scrap marriage list,marriage ceremony/expense and bride price

then we can start talking of 50/50..

after all na oyibo we wan copy

we still insist :its not a mans duty,but a man can assist,if u make it a duty u go home

Safiaaa:
If he is asking for 50/50 when contributing to bills and re[b][/b]nt, the it’ns 50/50 in all aspects of the house, including house chores. Women should please smarten up and stop being so ridiculous.

You want to work, pay rent, cook food take care of kids, what is now his role? Understand your role in the house, you won’t have any problems. Stop trying to be wonder women, you will live a stress free life and benefit more.

I am not aware that Naija guys do ask their women to split bills

Very funny, women were created to take care of kids and manage home, then all women should be married and all should have kids. What are men created for? This egocentric narcissism is the reason there are many failed marriages because you fail to understand it a 50% effort from both parties. These ideology worked then cause men were full providers, their wives were pampered even given helps, how many men today can even boast of a good job to take of themselves? So when you start thinking of "outlawing" female employment better be ready to fully provide for the family but we all know that I never going to happen

PietraK:


Archaic?

Open your mind to the future. There will be a future where population grows and there won't be jobs for 90% of the population.

God did not create men after women equal. Nature did not make men and women equal. We were built to work and provide for the home both physically and emotionally.

Women were built physically and emotionally to take care of the children and home.

If you can't live with it, kill yourself. Archaic or not, you can't cheat nature or rebuilt women.

The ego, the strength and everything masculine makes men providers. Women should learn their place and joy in it.

Consider the solution in my post (employment and salary percentage going to wives)

In fact, what is the difference between "help meet" and house maid? Only sex.

Whatever you want to call it... Women were created to help with taking care of the home and raising children. Simple.

dannytoe:
your fathers house is only comfortable, because ur parents did the same thing u re running from.

wise man

Proudgorgeousga:


sharap there and look around you.

which housemaids? the ones that are underpaid because both the husband and wife can barely survive above minimum wage or the ones that indulge in child labour because the husband's Ego is too much to do housework and change napkin.

also see the number of monikers saying she should know that is how things are supposed to be.


the other day na one corper dey praise him mama how she sold fish to send him to school im sure she was probably doing all the emotional Labour and house work alone too.

kai if I have to marry one of these misogynistic Nigerian men he better be rich.

The worst thing that can happen to any woman is to marry a broke, misogynistic man that thinks household duties is for women alone.

@Bold:

On the flip side, that's why mothers will be always praised than fathers and I laugh when peeps start whinning.

Sterope:
It is not relaxing for ladies. House chores is not for the weak, it is demanding on its own. Then try doing house chores with a proper job and see if you won't cry all night.

I don't know the ladies you are talking about but I know that in most average homes I am familiar with, the woman carries the financial burden of the home equally. By equally, I am not talking about the amount she spends but the fact that she spends the same percentage as her husband. Basically, her life is not financially better sunless she is married to a rich guy.

Which hustling more? Where both couples 've the same work schedule, the wife is still expected to do more house chores! Where the husband may have more time in his hands, the wife is still expected to do more!

dont mind these people. they talk as if in their various work place there is no married woman that works the same hours as them.

they should imagine how tired they are each day from work then going home to do another round while the husband goes to watch tv and press phone.

How about those that sell fish under the sun and still go home for another round.

Proudgorgeousga:


sharap there and look around you.

which housemaids? the ones that are underpaid because both the husband and wife can barely survive above minimum wage or the ones that indulge in child labour because the husband's Ego is too much to do housework and change napkin.

also see the number of monikers saying she should know that is how things are supposed to be.


the other day na one corper dey praise him mama how she sold fish to send him to school im sure she was probably doing all the emotional Labour and house work alone too.

kai if I have to marry one of these misogynistic Nigerian men he better be rich.

The worst thing that can happen to any woman is to marry a broke, misogynistic man that thinks household duties is for women alone.

Eyah sadly it seems i will have to explain in details so here we go, I stated no every home is like that because most partners have agreement on how to share the household tasks and if a maid is required assuming they had the financial power. What you are describing has nothing to do with what i stated, so keep the ad hominems.

HeWrites:
A lady on Twitter with the handle @lolaofthenorth took to her twitter TL to ask how marriage do pay women.

According to her, women will have to the comfort of her daddy's house to wake up to cook for some. You both go to work, come back and you (only you) are cooking again. She went further to explain that being married in Nigeria is very Inconveniencing.

Read her full tweets below;

https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/marriage-pays-women-married-nigeria-inconveniencing-lady.html

I totally agree with her. This is 21st century,husbands and wives should share domestic chores wife75%-25% husband.
Although I would prefer my wife to either be a homemaker by profession or teacher so as to have enough time for all duties

dominique:
Not all marriages, some men are very hands on with house chores and child care. Besides, some women bring this upon themselves. You will go to a man's personal and family homes and turn yourself into their glorified maid just to prove you're 200 yards of wife material. How won't they take you as a glorified maid in marriage?

Some women will go ahead to marry a man that unapologetically told her that chores are solely a woman's duty because they're desperate to marry. Once married, they will see how draining all that housework but they won't be able to complain too much because that's what they signed up for.

Marriage shouldn't be as hard as our people are making it. All it involves are partnership, effective communication, mutual respect and understanding.

I agree with you dear. Even though, i hardly help at home too. That's why i believe that women are naturally stronger than men. Buh, where does the strength lead them?

bukatyne:


@Bold:

On the flip side, that's why mothers will be always praised than fathers and I laugh when peeps start whinning.

Mothers bond more with the child than Fathers, Fathers usually play tough love as they are seen to be strict and not accessible, then again it could be that in those cases, most of the fathers abandoned their responsibilities.

Sterope:
It is not relaxing for ladies. House chores is not for the weak, it is demanding on its own. Then try doing house chores with a proper job and see if you won't cry all night.

I don't know the ladies you are talking about but I know that in most average homes I am familiar with, the woman carries the financial burden of the home equally. By equally, I am not talking about the amount she spends but the fact that she spends the same percentage as her husband. Basically, her life is not financially better sunless she is married to a rich guy.

Over time house chores reduces either by kids or house help but this will affect the man more as more responsibility will be added.
Like i said, it is more of mental stress for the man not physical stress and you already know that mental stress drains strength than physical stress.

TonyeBarcanista:

I am not aware that Naija guys do ask their women to split bills

Good. Let’s keep it like that, and don’t ask me to help you financially at ALL in the house. Do your job as a man and we won’t have any problems

House chores don't reduce over time with kids until they are adults. My scenario also covers a situation where there is no kid.

House chores demand both mental and physical energy.
You need the will power and physical strength to fold those clothes.

princefunmmy:

Over time house chores reduces either by kids or house help but this will affect the man more as more responsibility will be added.
Like i said, it is more of mental stress for the man not physical stress and you already know that mental stress drains strength than physical stress.

pcguru1:


Eyah sadly it seems i will have to explain in details so here we go, I stated no every home is like that because most partners have agreement on how to share the household tasks and if a maid is required assuming they had the financial power. What you are describing has nothing to do with what i stated, so keep the ad hominems.

wrong most men in Nigeria believe household work is women's job alone
that is why they ask useless questions like "can you cook? " on a first date
.
in most homes the wife carries both financial burden and household burden we all have mothers here.

how many households have the financial power to hire cooks and housekeeper?

nothing like ad hominem here. you made it sound like what the OP described is rare while it is the reality in many homes.

princefunmmy:

Over time house chores reduces either by kids or house help but this will affect the man more as more responsibility will be added.
Like i said, it is more of mental stress for the man not physical stress and you already know that mental stress drains strength than physical stress.

I don’t give a damn about mental or physical stress. It is both stress at the end of the day. If you cannot financially take care of all my needs and pamper myself and my children, then please do not expect me to cook and do all the house chores. We can do half and half as long as you won’t compromise your position in the domestic sector. You cannot pick and choose, when things are convenient for you, it doesn’t work that way.

She must also be willing to fulfil her sexual obligations. Everything on top one human being.

Proudgorgeousga:


dont mind these people. they talk as if in their various work place there is no married woman that works the same hours as them.

they should imagine how tired they are each day from work then going home to do another round while the husband goes to watch tv and press phone.

How about those that sell fish under the sun and still go home for another round.

idiot!!! Tel your guy to carry the pregnancy now

I have no comments

bukatyne:


Funny you.

If she is a liability to you financially, you are a liability to her domestically except you do chores with her.

Safiaaa:
I don’t give a damn about mental or physical stress. It is both stress at the end of the day. If you cannot financially take care of 'all my needs' and pamper myself and my children, then please do not expect me to cook and do all the house chores. We can do half and half as long as you won’t compromise your position in the domestic sector. You cannot pick and choose, when things are convenient for you, it doesn’t work that way.

All your needs? Humans needs are unlimited my dear.
But if he can provide you and the kids with shelter and food i think he has done something and if you can do the food, clean the house and kids then you've done well (but you know that a house help can do all of these).

Sterope:
House chores don't reduce over time with kids until they are adults. My scenario also covers a situation where there is no kid.

House chores demand both mental and physical energy.
You need the will power and physical strength to fold those clothes.

Do you know that when something is a routine, it demands less from the person? So does house chores. But the demands on a man is not a routine, demands increases and a man must be able to measure up to the standard demanded of him

princefunmmy:

All your needs? Humans needs are unlimited my dear.
But if he can provide you and the kids with shelter and food i think he has done something and if you can do the food, clean the house and kids then you've done well (but you know that a house help can do all of these).

Not only provide a shelter with food, those are compulsory necessities. Provider in all sectors, providing and taking care of all my wants. Making sure I live a very comfortable and smooth life. That’s your job as my husband, then sure I will take care of the kids and house. Of course everybody can be replaced partially. The house help can do my job as well as a maga can do yours. But that’s why we’re married, because we want to help and benefit each other.

If you cannot perform your job as a provider fully then you will need help. As well as I will need help as a nurturer. I can’t help you without receiving anything back. That’s what silly women do,and then complain later on about doing everything. Pick one and stick to it.

Safiaaa:
Not only provide a shelter with food, those are compulsory necessities. Provider in all sectors, providing and taking care of all my wants. Making sure I live a very comfortable and smooth life. That’s your job as my husband, then sure I will take care of the kids and house. Of course everybody can be replaced partially. The house help can do my job as well as a maga can do yours. But that’s why we’re married, because we want to help and benefit each other.

If you cannot perform your job as a provider fully then you will need help. As well as I will need help as a nurturer. I can’t help you without receiving anything back. That’s what silly women do,and then complain later on about doing everything. Pick one and stick to it.

Getting a maid is legal, but getting a maga is shameful,
Now, lets turn the table around if he decides that if you don't do your duty as expected, he's not doing his too; you can never get equality one has to do more, rather seek equity

I am tired. You have no argument!

princefunmmy:

Do you know that when something is a routine, it demands less from the person? So does house chores. But the demands on a man is not a routine, demands increases and a man must be able to measure up to the standard demanded of him

Safiaaa:
Good. Let’s keep it like that, and don’t ask me to help you financially at ALL in the house. Do your job as a man and we won’t have any problems

Do I come as one that depends on whatever a woman gets?

princefunmmy:

Getting a maid is legal, but getting a maga is shameful,
Now, lets turn the table around if he decides that if you don't do your duty as expected, he's not doing his too; you can never get equality one has to do more, rather seek equity

There’s nothing about shame here. It’s about being smart and knowing what you deserve. You have to pay the price either directly or indirectly. Whether you replace him or get a maga. Everything in this life is replaceable whether shameful or not, so quit that mentality.

All I’m saying is do your job, I do mine. Simple.

TonyeBarcanista:

Do I come as one that depends on whatever a woman gets?

huh

I totally get what she said. Exactly why I already zero my mind that marriage is not by force, if I can't cope no more i divorce you and take by babies. At least I am very OK on my own.