₦airaland Forum

philcz:
This one thinks he's relevant

philcz:
A sum total of your relevance?

philcz:
This big baby again.

Grayjoy:
Well d term equality to me has always been an illusion, even life doesn't support equality dat is if u study ur environment critically. So I dnt actually believe in equality even our fingers said so. But we should encourage equity. So if a guy cannot be shamed for fvcking anyhow then same should be 4 d ladies bt if u are with a lady and somehow dis sexuality discussion shows up, she begins to feel cagey dat u wan2 judge her or sumtin, if sex is bad 4 grlz it shud also be bad 4 boyz. Dat is my philosophy and believe.
Ladies are not actually in control of sex by using it as a bargaining tool, someone like me if u wan2 cage me with sex to make me do tinz like marry u or get something done 4 u, i won't even go ahead with d sex, it should be something 4 ur pleasure nt other benefits it has actually been part of my principles.
If u thnk only ladies use sex to bargain then u are a bit wrong, just like d sugarmummy stuff like makkyderbie said, Wat do u call dat then? Sometimes things do happen between u and a lady dat on good day u dnt wan2 sex her bt u can use dat as a means to an end, (did dat in school b4 though), but why it do happens is because the lady may capitilise on ur need or desperacy 4 dat sex and have her way.
Still on dat equality stuff, a frnd once asked me if i could marry a prostitute since i believe grlz shouldn't be shamed 4 much body count and all that.

philcz:
Okay, Man boy you can go play with sand now.

AntiBrutus:
Anyone can 'offer sex' .irrespective of the gender. All that is needed is someone willing to accept it.

greiboy:
@bolded is a lie

Ladies use sex as bargaining chip all the time

A guy that is broke today will be told to get money before he could consider women, even when it is clear that the lady is equally broke and have nothing else to offer at that moment than sex or if that isn't the case why shouldn't the lady consider his proposal and offer all those value added things most ladies like to talk about like compassion and advice.

However, soon as the guy begins to show sign of success, the same set of ladies won't mind be his gfs, just to get a share of his money.

Why not date him before, if he wasn't that bad?


The scenario played out here on nairaland in December. A certain nairalander who ladies are found of insulting for his lifestyle and openly rejecting happened to come into some cash and took the liberty of posting this cash on the social media. The change in attitude of ladies towards him immediately after he posted the cash was quite astonishing, almost like a miracle

This above scenario also makes it clear that it isn't a cycle but a deliberate plot

You also stated someone in your post that you cannot be caged with sex. That is probably because you have a regular partner or partners you have sex with. People often crave for what they don't have. So with most guys often denied sex by most ladies for various reasons, you will be amazed at the power of just the promise of sex, you will surprised at what sex can accomplish

On the sugar mommy theory, sugar mommy demands for sex just like most guys. Sugar mommy only select the top of the cherry. Unlike most guys i.e the best of the best. So in that case the men only have sex to offer.

donstan18:
@Bolded


Airfor.....

Safiaaa:
It baffles me when men talk about women only offering sex. What else is of value to you men, apart from sex? When you idolised sex so much and put it on a pedestal, wouldn’t it be smart to take advantage of that?

Why do you think women sell their virginity’s for millions of dollars?
Why is the porn industry worth billions?
Why does ‘sex sell’?
Why do men spend their life savings/end up bankrupt for 5 mins of pleasure?
Worshipping and following women just for sex

Before anybody says anything about women offering only their vaginas, prioritise your life. If you put sex before everything, expect women to take advantage of it. Sex is a mutual agreement, beneficial to both. However, the desperation and crave that men have for sex, is the reason why men are at the receiving end whilst the women are givers.

greiboy:

You sabi am

nancyv:
A million likes for this your comment.
Women take advantage of men because of sex because men care about sex more than any other thing in a relationship.

Women offer sex because that's the only thing the male folk demand from them.
my advice to females who want to remain virgins is not to date at all because men always demand for sex,if you don't demand 1 kobo from them.

donstan18:
Why are you late? MissWrite

MissWrite:
I'm not sure I know how to read this question, to be honest. Do men offer sex? In my opinion: Yes.

Of course, yes. It's one out of several things they've got to give.

In fact, everyone has a list of things they've got up for grabs whenever they interact with another human being (if nothing else, then they give/offer their time). Little things and big things which make them attractive (and useful) to others. For example: humor, good conversation, ego-massage, motivation, occasional companionship, reliable friendship, emotional support, financial support, sex, marriage. In our interaction with people, we try to figure out what a person has got to "offer" and if we have "need" for that thing; because that's the only way the interaction/relationship would be of value to us, instead of just being a waste of our time. And it's their responsibility to evaluate our value to them in return, so that it becomes a symbiotic relationship.

You cannot "offer" something and not get anything in return. That's not sustainable. A relationship where one person gives and doesn't get anything in return, dies.

Mind you, there are some relationships that might seem parasitic (on a superficial level), but they aren't really. A person doesn't necessarily have to get his "reciprocation" from his counterpart directly to get "value". Sometimes, a "giving-person" gets reciprocation from a third party or by extension: for instance: a man who's in a relationship with a woman for her father's influential name ( she has no personal assets he values, but she's got value bestowed on her by her family); or a woman who marries a man for her compulsory "MRS" qualification (he's got no personal gifts of value to her but society has blessed him with that specific kind of value to a woman); there are also people who derive satisfaction from being magnanimous in relationships, because religion has given value to self-sacrifice, selflessness, and suffering for the sake of other people. They feel noble, telling themselves it's all for God.

Some of these things aren't rock-solid: financial support is good until I have my own money; sex is good until it's not; a man in a woman's life gives her social validation but when he starts to threaten her life, she must choose what's more important: to live or to please society? The moment we don't need some of these things anymore, the person loses value on our eyes. But it doesn't mean they don't still have those things to offer, which would be of value to the next person who's got those needs. Absolutely nobody is generally valueless.

So, sex is probably one of the easiest things men have to offer. But by itself, it isn't very sellable to many Nigerian women. It's a cheap commodity because, just like junk food, it might taste good but over-indulgence makes Nigerian women unattractive (to Nigerian men) in the long run. And "attractiveness to men" is something Nigerian women want to preserve. So, naturally, women would rather want things which would add value to them and avoid things that detract value.

Most men, on the other hand, value sex and not much else. Even though both genders have the capacity to "offer" sex, sex for sex generally isn't in a woman's interest in the Nigerian context. And most men would consider "companionship, motivation, etc minus sex" from a woman a waste of their time. So, in a bid to get women to bring sex to the bargaining table, men offer "the woman's ask": financial support or marriage (which traditionally includes financial support plus "legitimized" sex for women). We are all just trading value; but somehow, when sex and money are involved, it becomes a moral issue.

For emancipated females who have worked themselves to financial independence, and whose worlds have expanded to the point where they don't necessarily have to live with and worry about this misogyny, they can put things in context and Africa becomes just another bad neighborhood on the wrong side of town. When a woman's value in society doesn't really depend on having a man, she would not staunchly avoid a burger (just for the sake of remaining attractive to a man) if it makes her happy. Her own health and comfort would be her primary concern and motivation for moderation. Such a woman won't have any inhibitions, she would value sex for the sake of sex.

But there's always the exception to the rule.

MissWrite:
Hey, friend .............I didn't want to disappoint you with two lines.

I've been kinda busy. How you dey?

donstan18:
Your opinion thou.
Accepted.

donstan18:
Lol, I never expected two lines, so much believed you not to disappoint

Busy, seems obvious because you rarely comment these days, all the same, it's cool.

I'm good, you?, how you?

greiboy:
@bolded is a lie

Ladies use sex as bargaining chip all the time

A guy that is broke today will be told to get money before he could consider women, even when it is clear that the lady is equally broke and have nothing else to offer at that moment than sex or if that isn't the case why shouldn't the lady consider his proposal and offer all those value added things most ladies like to talk about like compassion and advice.

However, soon as the guy begins to show sign of success, the same set of ladies won't mind be his gfs, just to get a share of his money.

Why not date him before, if he wasn't that bad?


The scenario played out here on nairaland in December. A certain nairalander who ladies are found of insulting for his lifestyle and openly rejecting happened to come into some cash and took the liberty of posting this cash on the social media. The change in attitude of ladies towards him immediately after he posted the cash was quite astonishing, almost like a miracle

This above scenario also makes it clear that it isn't a cycle but a deliberate plot

You also stated someone in your post that you cannot be caged with sex. That is probably because you have a regular partner or partners you have sex with. People often crave for what they don't have. So with most guys often denied sex by most ladies for various reasons, you will be amazed at the power of just the promise of sex, you will surprised at what sex can accomplish

On the sugar mommy theory, sugar mommy demands for sex just like most guys. Sugar mommy only select the top of the cherry. Unlike most guys i.e the best of the best. So in that case the men only have sex to offer.

greiboy:
@bolded is a lie

Ladies use sex as bargaining chip all the time

A guy that is broke today will be told to get money before he could consider women, even when it is clear that the lady is equally broke and have nothing else to offer at that moment than sex or if that isn't the case why shouldn't the lady consider his proposal and offer all those value added things most ladies like to talk about like compassion and advice.

However, soon as the guy begins to show sign of success, the same set of ladies won't mind be his gfs, just to get a share of his money.

Why not date him before, if he wasn't that bad?


The scenario played out here on nairaland in December. A certain nairalander who ladies are found of insulting for his lifestyle and openly rejecting happened to come into some cash and took the liberty of posting this cash on the social media. The change in attitude of ladies towards him immediately after he posted the cash was quite astonishing, almost like a miracle

This above scenario also makes it clear that it isn't a cycle but a deliberate plot

You also stated someone in your post that you cannot be caged with sex. That is probably because you have a regular partner or partners you have sex with. People often crave for what they don't have. So with most guys often denied sex by most ladies for various reasons, you will be amazed at the power of just the promise of sex, you will surprised at what sex can accomplish

On the sugar mommy theory, sugar mommy demands for sex just like most guys. Sugar mommy only select the top of the cherry. Unlike most guys i.e the best of the best. So in that case the men only have sex to offer.

Grayjoy:
whenever i say "lady" in my head, I am thinking about a young woman dat is character wise though, not a girl dat is on d look out for money. So if we go by my opinion, a lady will definitely give u advice and commitment "iff" u have ambitions, goals or set targets then a lady have more in stock than sex for more.

Grayjoy:
talking about me having a regular pattern of having sex is a bit difficult for me to understand, never in my life have I encountered a grl dat gave me conditions for sex or wanted something in return for it, because for me, if u are nt intrested in d actual sex then 4get it, my d!ck is nt 4 you. But do u know there a ladies that when they love ur personality then they like having sex with for nothing in return bt care and commitment?

MissWrite:
I'm not sure I know how to read this question, to be honest. Do men offer sex? In my opinion: Yes.

Of course, yes. It's one out of several things they've got to give.

In fact, everyone has a list of things they've got up for grabs whenever they interact with another human being (if nothing else, then they give/offer their time). Little things and big things which make them attractive (and useful) to others. For example: humor, good conversation, ego-massage, motivation, occasional companionship, reliable friendship, emotional support, financial support, sex, marriage. In our interaction with people, we try to figure out what a person has got to "offer" and if we have "need" for that thing; because that's the only way the interaction/relationship would be of value to us, instead of just being a waste of our time. And it's their responsibility to evaluate our value to them in return, so that it becomes a symbiotic relationship.

You cannot "offer" something and not get anything in return. That's not sustainable. A relationship where one person gives and doesn't get anything in return, dies.

Mind you, there are some relationships that might seem parasitic (on a superficial level), but they aren't really. A person doesn't necessarily have to get his "reciprocation" from his counterpart directly to get "value". Sometimes, a "giving-person" gets reciprocation from a third party or by extension: for instance: a man who's in a relationship with a woman for her father's influential name ( she has no personal assets he values, but she's got value bestowed on her by her family); or a woman who marries a man for her compulsory "MRS" qualification (he's got no personal gifts of value to her but society has blessed him with that specific kind of value to a woman); there are also people who derive satisfaction from being magnanimous in relationships, because religion has given value to self-sacrifice, selflessness, and suffering for the sake of other people. They feel noble, telling themselves it's all for God.

Some of these things aren't rock-solid: financial support is good until I have my own money; sex is good until it's not; a man in a woman's life gives her social validation but when he starts to threaten her life, she must choose what's more important: to live or to please society? The moment we don't need some of these things anymore, the person loses value on our eyes. But it doesn't mean they don't still have those things to offer, which would be of value to the next person who's got those needs. Absolutely nobody is generally valueless.

So, sex is probably one of the easiest things men have to offer. But by itself, it isn't very sellable to many Nigerian women. It's a cheap commodity because, just like junk food, it might taste good but over-indulgence makes Nigerian women unattractive (to Nigerian men) in the long run. And "attractiveness to men" is something Nigerian women want to preserve. So, naturally, women would rather want things which would add value to them and avoid things that detract value.

Most men, on the other hand, value sex and not much else. Even though both genders have the capacity to "offer" sex, sex for sex generally isn't in a woman's interest in the Nigerian context. And most men would consider "companionship, motivation, etc minus sex" from a woman a waste of their time. So, in a bid to get women to bring sex to the bargaining table, men offer "the woman's ask": financial support or marriage (which traditionally includes financial support plus "legitimized" sex for women). We are all just trading value; but somehow, when sex and money are involved, it becomes a moral issue.

For emancipated females who have worked themselves to financial independence, and whose worlds have expanded to the point where they don't necessarily have to live with and worry about this misogyny, they can put things in context and Africa becomes just another bad neighborhood on the wrong side of town. When a woman's value in society doesn't really depend on having a man, she would not staunchly avoid a burger (just for the sake of remaining attractive to a man) if it makes her happy. Her own health and comfort would be her primary concern and motivation for moderation. Such a woman won't have any inhibitions, she would value sex for the sake of sex.

But there's always the exception to the rule.

donstan18:
Gotten, that's what i'm after

How about the cliche "Some men can only offer sex"
How proper?

AntiBrutus:
No woman will be dumb enough to go chanting such. She wouldn't even get the required back-up from the society to make it trend.

MissWrite:
Lol. I'm okay, sweetie. Thanks for asking.

donstan18:
Lol, you never seems to amaze me you don't disappoint.

Yes, you a very good point, a versatile and broad point touching different and various areas in a relationship.

I was logically thinking loudly about this very cliche "Most women offer sex" and I was like.... Sex should be a two gender thing, why then do men say women do offer it, could it be a countering cliche?, maybe yes, if YES, can women aswell say "Most men do nothing than to demand for sex in a relationship"..Can they.

Well, you said any gender can offer sex, which I MIGHT or MAY NOT agree with you, because I personally think no gender offers sex, because it takes to gender mingling to have sex.