Charris2284:


I didnt send him money for a month or maybe 2. Im assuming that is not a very reliable timeframe to gauge his true intentions? Ive told him several times I cannot send money anymore and he never gets angry. Sometimes he gets very worried and stressed and sad, saying he has so many burdens and that he hates to ask me for money. But every so often he will.

Forget those emboldened words, it's their favorite phrase. I don't wanna be a bearer of bad news but after taking time to read your story, I can authoritatively tell you that I spotted scamming tendencies in your boy.

I hate lazy azzholes who live off of someone's hardwork. My dear sister, be wise.

CaptainJeffry:
Forget those emboldened words, it's their favorite phrase. I don't wanna be a bearer of bad news but after taking time to read your story, I can authoritatively tell you that I spotted scamming tendencies in your boy.

I hate lazy azzholes who live off of someone's hardwork. My dear sister, be wise.

Well, I also noticed that his ex-fiance (whom he freely told me about) who was Scottish, was a woman in her mid 40s, unable to have children, and she wasnt attractive. So...it made me think, why would an attractive young man (at this time he was between the ages of 19-25), who is the eldest of his family and wants children desperately, be with an older woman who cant have children? Just dont get it. He said he thought she was beautiful and was willing to look past the childbearing thing. But he is adamant with me that he wants kids (even though I said I didnt want anymore in the beginning).

Charris2284:


Well, I also noticed that his ex-fiance (whom he freely told me about) who was Scottish, was a woman in her mid 40s, unable to have children, and she wasnt attractive. So...it made me think, why would an attractive young man (at this time he was between the ages of 19-25), who is the eldest of his family and wants children desperately, be with an older woman who cant have children? Just dont get it. He said he thought she was beautiful and was willing to look past the childbearing thing. But he is adamant with me that he wants kids (even though I said I didnt want anymore in the beginning).

Nigerian man will not marry someone older unless there's a benefit attached, get it into your brain. Even his family will be against that except of course in a case where money or green card is expected. Sister, you're being scammed. Run now that you can count your losses before you loose count.

Thank you for your honesty.

Charris2284:


He is very attractive and I think he has a prior reputation on being a player in college. Its hard for me to try to decipher some of the pidgin, but that's what Ive gathered from some of his convos with his guy friends.

I only stress that I am very overweight because all of his exes are thin. I'm no where close to being thin. So...it stands to reason: why would a young single attractive man without kids, want to initiate a marriage with a slightly older divorced fat woman with 6 kids? Hm. Hes always treated me lovingly and nicely, and pulled me in by saying he was always cheated on by women and just cant see himself dealing with Nigerian women because theyve treated him oh so badly. He said his Scottish ex cheated on him too and treated him like child.

I just honestly think he wants my money or papers because obviously he isnt attracted to big women and he think all big women are desperate. There are too many men lusting after me for me to have a chance to be desperate. Smh.

Why do you keep referring to yourself as "fat?" It's very possible what you even refer to as "fat" and overweight is considered normal in Nigeria. But that's not my concern.

I'm concerned about how you keep emphasising being overweight. It's suggestive of low self esteem. You know you can do something about the weight if you aren't comfortable with it, right?

PrimadonnaO:


Why do you keep referring to yourself as "fat?" It's very possible what you even refer to as "fat" and overweight is considered normal in Nigeria. But that's not my concern.

I'm concerned about how you keep emphasising being overweight. It's suggestive of low self esteem. You know you can do something about the weight if you aren't comfortable with it, right?

I'm currently 150lbs overweight. Lol. Im not thin or even thick by any measure.

I only emphasize it because it doesmt make sense to me why a man of average weight (hes a little on the thicker side but isnt by any means "big" ), who's exes are all of a thin build, would want to date and marry a large woman? It doesnt add up. Men are very visual creatures. All men have a "type".

Yes, Ive lost over 100lbs in the past after my 4th child, so I know I am capable of losing weight. My mentioning of my weight, children, age (hes 27 and Im 34) is just to point out the inconsistencies with him. Not that I am a worthless human being.

Charris2284:


I'm currently 150lbs overweight. Lol. Im not thin or even thick by any measure.

I only emphasize it because it doesmt make sense to me why a man of average weight (hes a little on the thicker side but isnt by any means "big" ), who's exes are all of a thin build, would want to date and marry a large woman? It doesnt add up. Men are very visual creatures. All men have a "type".

Yes, Ive lost over 100lbs in the past after my 4th child, so I know I am capable of losing weight. My mentioning of my weight, children, age (hes 27 and Im 34) is just to point out the inconsistencies with him. Not that I am a worthless human being.

Alright. Well, I think that relationship with the man in question is simply a charade. He's keeping you as some sort of security. He'd most likely always cheat. Even if he marries you, he'd remarry a Nigerian, or at best get a side-chic. In fact, you might be the wife, but by essence be a side chic. Get my drift?

Matin0 come ooo...what u gonna advice to this babe na..See ur guy sha..He juz cheated with this oyinbo ooo

Charris2284:


I'm currently 150lbs overweight. Lol. Im not thin or even thick by any measure.

I only emphasize it because it doesmt make sense to me why a man of average weight (hes a little on the thicker side but isnt by any means "big" ), who's exes are all of a thin build, would want to date and marry a large woman? It doesnt add up. Men are very visual creatures. All men have a "type".

Yes, Ive lost over 100lbs in the past after my 4th child, so I know I am capable of losing weight. My mentioning of my weight, children, age (hes 27 and Im 34) is just to point out the inconsistencies with him. Not that I am a worthless human being.

With what I can see you are not fat, you look very young and you are very attractive, maybe its just because both of you haven't met yet. You have had six kids and still look hot, its just a matter of time before à sharp guy sweeps u off your feet.

CsRockefeller:


With what I can see you are not fat, you look very young and you are very attractive, maybe its just because both of you haven't met yet. You have had six kids and still look hot, its just a matter of time before à sharp guy sweeps u off your feet.

I used to be a thick build. In the years after my divorce, about 3 years now, I've gained a ton of weight. About 150lbs. I don't carry my weight in my face. I still can look a bit shapely if I try. I'm not the girl who carries all of her excess weight in her gut (but I do have a gut). I'm a pear shape so a lot of my weight tends to go to my lower half but that's not to say I don't have excess weight in my midsection because I surely do. There's no denying that I am a very heavy set girl these days. Another thing is that he reallllllly doesn't want me to lose weight. At first, he insisted that I didn't lose any. After months of telling him my health is now being compromised, he finally said yes to my losing lots of weight. Again his exes are all thin. Why would he be opposed to me being thin? Because if I am thin, in his mind, Id leave him for another guy. But lol even if I am fat, I could easily pull a man who is attracted to bigger women. So he just assumes that fat ladies cant get a man. I actually read a conversation on his messenger one day that flat out said "fat women cant get boyfriends". Granted, that conversation was years old and while he was still in school I believe, but it just goes to show what he thinks of bigger women.
Appreciate the compliment. Thank you.

Charris2284:


I'm currently 150lbs overweight. Lol. Im not thin or even thick by any measure.

I only emphasize it because it doesmt make sense to me why a man of average weight (hes a little on the thicker side but isnt by any means "big" ), who's exes are all of a thin build, would want to date and marry a large woman? It doesnt add up. Men are very visual creatures. All men have a "type".

Yes, Ive lost over 100lbs in the past after my 4th child, so I know I am capable of losing weight. My mentioning of my weight, children, age (hes 27 and Im 34) is just to point out the inconsistencies with him. Not that I am a worthless human being.

Hello my dear, stop trying to justify anything. Love itself doesn't make sense! Nobody can truly define love. It has no universal meaning.

Stop trying to justify why he could love you. Most of the responses here are from people who feel jealous of the guy because he is dating a white lady! Quote me anywhere. Most Nigerians still see whites like you as special, so they are jealous of the guy.

Here's my gut feeling. You believe the guy is too good for you physically. According to you, he is smart, intelligent, Handsome and no kids, so you are wondering why he is stuck with you, especially since you know that all his exes are thin. You are trying to analyze his love but it doesn't work that way. I use myself as an example. I have always dated skinny ladies until I met this fat Lady in a cab one day in Abuja and everything changed. It took me months to make up my mind, but I finally did and the relationship is going strong.

Your man is younger than you, so expect youthful exuberance. Stop doubting, it kills love. Remove all doubts except you now get concrete evidence. I wish you the best

He does my bidding when I become angry. He changed all of his profile pics to be of me. Made status after status about me blah blah blah. Blocked the ladies. The only thing he has refused to do is message those women telling them he is wants nothing to do with them. But...idk. He has several phones. So I mean....even if he isnt responding to them on the number I have for him, it doesnt mean he isn't on the other phones he has.

Why even have more than one working cell phone?

I just question everything now. He ruined it all. Tragic. I could have been the best thing he ever had. Sigh.

He's a fraud. This is what they do these days, ruining the reputation of this country. His visa was never denied in September because he never applied for Visa. I wrote this some months back and if you read to the end you'd know what's up and how to protect yourself. He's just using you.

http://www.mortalpoet.com/9ice-falz-yahoo-boys-how-nigerians-supported-fraudsters/

Charris2284:


I used to be a thick build. In the years after my divorce, about 3 years now, I've gained a ton of weight. About 150lbs. I don't carry my weight in my face. I still can look a bit shapely if I try. I'm not the girl who carries all of her excess weight in her gut (but I do have a gut). I'm a pear shape so a lot of my weight tends to go to my lower half but that's not to say I don't have excess weight in my midsection because I surely do. There's no denying that I am a very heavy set girl these days. Another thing is that he reallllllly doesn't want me to lose weight. At first, he insisted that I didn't lose any. After months of telling him my health is now being compromised, he finally said yes to my losing lots of weight. Again his exes are all thin. Why would he be opposed to me being thin? Because if I am thin, in his mind, Id leave him for another guy. But lol even if I am fat, I could easily pull a man who is attracted to bigger women. So he just assumes that fat ladies cant get a man. I actually read a conversation on his messenger one day that flat out said "fat women cant get boyfriends". Granted, that conversation was years old and while he was still in school I believe, but it just goes to show what he thinks of bigger women.
Appreciate the compliment. Thank you.

Sounds like this guy just what to eat his cake and have it, i think he's a little bit insecure and deep down he's scared of loosing you but isn't ready to commit ( more like I'm not ready now and no one should have her) but if you don't mind how long have you known this guy?

Wrong move woman, you don't bring this kinda relationship to social media...you won't get anywhere with this!

As a matter of fact, er'one here will try as much as possible to break you guys up! You want to know if he is real or not? If he is cheating it not? I'll give you my honest advice...

You can always switch to a detective mode! Get a female friend of his,(probably one of those ladies u suspected) try to build trust with her(use your discretion while doing this though)...after you're sure she is trustworthy, explain your stance with him to her then try and use her to get down with him.

If he fall for it, then he is a bloddy cheater/scammer...if he doesn't...then you've been wrong all along and you have to deal with your own insecurities!

Note: be sure you are not getting a Lady who is in love with him already to do this job for you and don't be scared to spend a little to get this done.(no gain without pain)

I'll be willing to help you further... But please, don't break up with him yet. He might just be real you know

I See That Donjazzy guy Tellin You We're jealous... Well, I Also had A White Girlfriend In Manchester, England back Some Months Ago... Long Distance Relationship Do Work but I Just Need You To Be Smart. Deleting messages Because Of You is Not Commitment.. If My Girls Complain About My Messages I Tell Them, its Life and Things Are Meant To Happen but That Doesnt Mean i Would Delete Those Messages. I Never For Once Demanded Money From Her, even Though I Needed It

Charris2284:


He's made it seem that he has never "shown" a woman out before and that it made it official (this happened back in July). He's told me that he isn't using me and its not a sham because I've talked to his mother and that his parents would never approve of such behavior. His parents and siblings no about me and have asked me personally when am I coming so we could plan for the marriage. But I seriously have my doubts now. And when he showed me his screenshot of his Whatsapp (because I know he is talking to women on it)...I noticed his mother's number wasnt even saved. It just showed her number. Idk. Id be saving my moms number. Just weird. The whole thing is weird and a year of my life has been invested in this.

He doesnt work. I mean...he says hes an entrepreneur. Whatever he means by that. But he doesnt make much because about once a month...sometimes more sometimes less, he will ask if I can send some money and then claim to hate to ask me for it. He says we are engaged but never bought me a ring.

Im just...mad at myself. Because my gut is never wrong. Women have an incredible sense of intuition....

How old are you if I may ask ?

Charris2284:
Been dating for a year now. I am American. He is Nigerian. Im a white, very overweight, divorced mother of 6. He is 6 years younger than me without kids or a wife. Says he lives alone. Has asked for money at times. Ive sent about $2k collectively in the last year. He was denied a visa back in Sept. I quit my very lucrative job of 4 years just to see if he would leave and he hasnt yet (its been 4 months since a quit and I do have other income just not as much as before). I have sent $100 in the last 2 months or so.

Anyway. We exchanged FB Messenger passwords about 6 months ago to enhance trust between us. I recently decided to look at his Instagram out of curiosity since it was linked with his FB account. I dont think he knew I would do so. A few months back we had some issues because an ex of his contacted and I also saw some inappropriate comments under a "friend" of his on FB so I made him delete the friend and he told me his ex (who is Scottish) was also told to lose his number (though I have no proof of that). He wants to get married both in Nigeria and in the States. Ive talked to his mother a few times.

Whie looking at his Instagram I noticed he connected back with the "friend" who is VERY beautiful, no kids, and in Nigeria. He said their convos were just of a "joking" nature and I dont buy it. After I responded in the convo to let her know he is with someone, she also said they were "joking" but I think shes just covering for him because she feels bad for him.

Here's some screenshots. Hes telljng me I just dont "understand" the context. I call bullshit. He also had several other convos with women, mostly Nigerian and American, calling them pretty, wanting to "get to know them", etc.

Im getting sick of it honestly and I am faithful. I am overweight but I am still attractive as I have men trying to get my attention regularly.

Honest opinions, please.

Jesus, mother of six

Madam, your boyfriend is not faithful and will never be faithful. He is a chronic flirt.

I saw the picture of you. You are very beautiful. Why do you even need a boyfriend? Do you want to remarry

OAFMods:


How old are you if I may ask ?

Im 34. Well, I will be next month.

letterman:


Jesus, mother of six

Madam, your boyfriend is not faithful and will never be faithful. He is a chronic flirt.

I saw the picture of you. You are very beautiful. Why do you even need a boyfriend? Do you want to remarry

Thanks. I dont need a boyfriend. Ive been single prior to him for about 3 years, since my divorce. I have always had some kind of "boy toy" if you will to keep me company but not an established boyfriend.

One day I dreamt of being remarried and having a happily ever after. But Id rather be single and alone than in a relationship and alone.

He keeps telling me all of those messages were just a joke. I just am insulted that he thinks I'm that....quite frankly: stupid.

Its obvious he's using u for green card.wat more explanation do u want? Sorry for your predicament.

DeadRat:
You Even Send Him Money. Smh... Keep Waiting, he Will Arrive In America Soon maybe 2003

the lady na the guy maga.so very obvious.all the Yankee dollars she dey send am d guy must be spending it on oloshos for club.

Charris2284:


I dont date white men. Never have. Only black (African American) men. And the ones here are just...truly awful. Ive always been fascinated by African cultures and had even a tattoo of the continent placed on my arm a few years back. So when he messaged me....at first I was taken aback and really didnt take him seriously. Then I thought "Well it isnt working out with the American men...why not try the very men of the place Ive been so fascinated with?"

That proved to be a wrong decision. All men, from every corner of the world, are users and cheaters and liars. Just breaks my heart, honestly. But I guess my only choices are to remain alone or to hurt men as much as theyve hurt me.

he's a yahooboy(scammer) ..trust me when i say u much better off dating the black American men than meeting a complete stranger on the internet all d way frm Africa.even then if u so fascinated with African men there are nigerian Americans or Ghanian Americans for u to try out living in ur country. Be sharp b4 u lose all ur live savings on this guy.

Donjazzy12:

Hello my dear, stop trying to justify anything. Love itself doesn't make sense! Nobody can truly define love. It has no universal meaning.

Stop trying to justify why he could love you. Most of the responses here are from people who feel jealous of the guy because he is dating a white lady! Quote me anywhere. Most Nigerians still see whites like you as special, so they are jealous of the guy.

Here's my gut feeling. You believe the guy is too good for you physically. According to you, he is smart, intelligent, Handsome and no kids, so you are wondering why he is stuck with you, especially since you know that all his exes are thin. You are trying to analyze his love but it doesn't work that way. I use myself as an example. I have always dated skinny ladies until I met this fat Lady in a cab one day in Abuja and everything changed. It took me months to make up my mind, but I finally did and the relationship is going strong.

Your man is younger than you, so expect youthful exuberance. Stop doubting, it kills love. Remove all doubts except you now get concrete evidence. I wish you the best

espirit de corps.. U no wan pour san san for the guy garri.

Charris2284:


He's made it seem that he has never "shown" a woman out before and that it made it official (this happened back in July). He's told me that he isn't using me and its not a sham because I've talked to his mother and that his parents would never approve of such behavior. His parents and siblings no about me and have asked me personally when am I coming so we could plan for the marriage. But I seriously have my doubts now. And when he showed me his screenshot of his Whatsapp (because I know he is talking to women on it)...I noticed his mother's number wasnt even saved. It just showed her number. Idk. Id be saving my moms number. Just weird. The whole thing is weird and a year of my life has been invested in this.

He doesnt work. I mean...he says hes an entrepreneur. Whatever he means by that. But he doesnt make much because about once a month...sometimes more sometimes less, he will ask if I can send some money and then claim to hate to ask me for it. He says we are engaged but never bought me a ring.

Im just...mad at myself. Because my gut is never wrong. Women have an incredible sense of intuition....

He is a Proffessional scammer....
My advice to u is this: dont send him dollars in million...with such amount,you are the MAGA[White Fool] who has paid.
He will come Nigeria celebrating and tag him self:Money Bag.
He is a pure 419 man...

Charris2284:


I dont date white men. Never have. Only black (African American) men. And the ones here are just...truly awful. Ive always been fascinated by African cultures and had even a tattoo of the continent placed on my arm a few years back. So when he messaged me....at first I was taken aback and really didnt take him seriously. Then I thought "Well it isnt working out with the American men...why not try the very men of the place Ive been so fascinated with?"

That proved to be a wrong decision. All men, from every corner of the world, are users and cheaters and liars. Just breaks my heart, honestly. But I guess my only choices are to remain alone or to hurt men as much as theyve hurt me.

Not alll men cheat but Nigeria or African men are the WORST.

Charris2284:
Been dating for a year now. I am American. He is Nigerian. Im a white, very overweight, divorced mother of 6. He is 6 years younger than me without kids or a wife. Says he lives alone. Has asked for money at times. Ive sent about $2k collectively in the last year. He was denied a visa back in Sept. I quit my very lucrative job of 4 years just to see if he would leave and he hasnt yet (its been 4 months since a quit and I do have other income just not as much as before). I have sent $100 in the last 2 months or so.

Anyway. We exchanged FB Messenger passwords about 6 months ago to enhance trust between us. I recently decided to look at his Instagram out of curiosity since it was linked with his FB account. I dont think he knew I would do so. A few months back we had some issues because an ex of his contacted and I also saw some inappropriate comments under a "friend" of his on FB so I made him delete the friend and he told me his ex (who is Scottish) was also told to lose his number (though I have no proof of that). He wants to get married both in Nigeria and in the States. Ive talked to his mother a few times.

Whie looking at his Instagram I noticed he connected back with the "friend" who is VERY beautiful, no kids, and in Nigeria. He said their convos were just of a "joking" nature and I dont buy it. After I responded in the convo to let her know he is with someone, she also said they were "joking" but I think shes just covering for him because she feels bad for him.

Here's some screenshots. Hes telljng me I just dont "understand" the context. I call bullshit. He also had several other convos with women, mostly Nigerian and American, calling them pretty, wanting to "get to know them", etc.

Im getting sick of it honestly and I am faithful. I am overweight but I am still attractive as I have men trying to get my attention regularly.

Honest opinions, please.

sorry madam he's just using u, like u said u are fat, very overweight ,a divorcee ,mother of 6 children, and u are 6 yrs younger than him.madam all this baggage is just too much, 4 a young single man I suggested u leave this guy be4 u regret it latter. that's my humble advice 4 u. by the way wat tribe is he from?

jacyhelen:



Not alll men cheat but Nigeria or African men are the WORST.

shut it will u,

classicMan22:
sorry madam he's just using u, like u said u are fat, very overweight ,a divorcee ,mother of 6 children, and u are 6 yrs younger than him.madam all this baggage is just too much, 4 a young single man I suggested u leave this guy be4 u regret it latter. that's my humble advice 4 u. by the way wat tribe is he from?

I figured. He's Yoruba.

RuthDaniels:
Typical Nigerian guy!

Woman, I'd advise you get over whatever feelings you have for that dude. He is nothing but a cheater, he will never be serious with you. You are over weight with 6 kids? And you think some African stud will stick with you? come on! It's all for the money and card. Lol!

And If being overweighted is why you think a guy will cheat on you, kindly work out. Not for the stupid scam but for your self. Stay attractive and beautiful someone good will come your way soon.

Ive been very thin before and cheated on. So no, I don't think that is why men cheat. All men just cheat. They can't help themselves.

Sapiosexuality:
He's a fraud. This is what they do these days, ruining the reputation of this country. His visa was never denied in September because he never applied for Visa. I wrote this some months back and if you read to the end you'd know what's up and how to protect yourself. He's just using you.

http://www.mortalpoet.com/9ice-falz-yahoo-boys-how-nigerians-supported-fraudsters/

He really did apply. I saw confirmation on the website. I saw pictures of him going to the airport and arriving in the office. I saw the denial letter that they gave to him after the interview. But of course it stands to reason he is just using me for a green card.