Charris2284:


In the first few months, no I did not at all expect him to be celibate. But then...I started thinking. He would message and call me all the time. All the time. Even when I was at work. When I broke it off with him for about 6 weeks during the summer, his family contacted me to tell me how sad he has been and how he was hospitalized for high blood pressure and pleading with me to at least speak to him. And I felt bad because he was always so kind to me and took great interest in knowing and talking to my siblings and even my father.

So we got back together. I broke it off with him strictly because I didnt see how it could be serious and how could he possibly love me. Ive got major trust issues with men to begin with and when he met me I wanted nothing to do with men in general besides ...tbh, using them as much as they use women. And he turned my heart around.

Sounds cliche but it happened.

A 25-year old Nigerian male hospitalized for high blood pressure because of a failed online relationship?

Ma'am you've been scammed!

Ranchhoddas:
A 25-year old Nigerian male hospitalized for high blood pressure because of a failed online relationship?

Ma'am you've been scammed!

He's about to be 28. My brother actually was in his 20s when he was diagnosed with very high blood pressure. And yea, my brother has been hospitalized for a failing marriage, amongst other things. So I do know it is possible. But, I also understand that it could be a fabrication. He's a little overweight. So it isnt like he is the EPITOME of health. It seemed believeable especially when I was hearing from his family.

I will say interestingly enough, after I had been talking to his cousin who had initially contacted me about his condition, once he found out she messaged me to tell me of his hospitalization, he insisted that I stopped talking to her. When I asked why, he told me that some of his people's do not necessarily have good intentions and he doesnt want me or him to be badgered with money requests. Being that Ive had some not-so-honest relatives myself, I kinda related to it?

Charris2284:


He's made it seem that he has never "shown" a woman out before and that it made it official (this happened back in July). He's told me that he isn't using me and its not a sham because I've talked to his mother and that his parents would never approve of such behavior. His parents and siblings no about me and have asked me personally when am I coming so we could plan for the marriage. But I seriously have my doubts now. And when he showed me his screenshot of his Whatsapp (because I know he is talking to women on it)...I noticed his mother's number wasnt even saved. It just showed her number. Idk. Id be saving my moms number. Just weird. The whole thing is weird and a year of my life has been invested in this.

He doesnt work. I mean...he says hes an entrepreneur. Whatever he means by that. But he doesnt make much because about once a month...sometimes more sometimes less, he will ask if I can send some money and then claim to hate to ask me for it. He says we are engaged but never bought me a ring.

Im just...mad at myself. Because my gut is never wrong. Women have an incredible sense of intuition....

Hey sorry about the whole drama. That guy is a flirt from your write up. A chronic unrepentant cheat. He doesn't love you. I think just because you're American and you're financially ok, he sees you has an opportunity to upgrade himself. He's just using you.
No food for lazy man. I know nigeria is getting difficult daily to live in, coupled with mass unemployment, he's not ashamed to be collecting from you, a grown man, an adult.
Chai.

You're just a maga. Easily fooled by " i love you"
What has he given you?. But, here you're, giving him money and he spend it running after everything under skirts, busy flirting around. Joblessness. He hasn't even achieved anything with all you sent him

Regarding your your appearance, you're very perfect, charming, sweet. Nothing wrong with your appearance. You're not even fat. Stop comparing yourself with others n getting mad at yourself. Forget the past, the oldest way of learning is through mistake. You will still find love.
We still have some good nigerian's.
Becareful, the heart of men are treacherous, who can see it?

Charris2284:


He's about to be 28. My brother actually was in his 20s when he was diagnosed with very high blood pressure. And yea, my brother has been hospitalized for a failing marriage, amongst other things. So I do know it is possible. But, I also understand that it could be a fabrication. He's a little overweight. So it isnt like he is the EPITOME of health. It seemed believeable especially when I was hearing from his family.

I will say interestingly enough, after I had been talking to his cousin who had initially contacted me about his condition, once he found out she messaged me to tell me of his hospitalization, he insisted that I stopped talking to her. When I asked why, he told me that some of his people's do not necessarily have good intentions and he doesnt want me or him to be badgered with money requests. Being that Ive had some not-so-honest relatives myself, I kinda related to it?

Pure scam, an hoax.
You 've being blinded by love. You weak, easily deceived
Do you expect him to feel happy when his sources of financial resources n hope for greener pastures is terminated?

Sooner, I might stop wasting my advice. Soonest you will be heart broken you will come back here, think we would sympathise with you, We won't. A word they say is enough for the wise.
You're weak, too easy to be brainwashed and easily manipulated like a toy.

Charris2284:


He's about to be 28. My brother actually was in his 20s when he was diagnosed with very high blood pressure. And yea, my brother has been hospitalized for a failing marriage, amongst other things. So I do know it is possible. But, I also understand that it could be a fabrication. He's a little overweight. So it isnt like he is the EPITOME of health. It seemed believeable especially when I was hearing from his family.

I will say interestingly enough, after I had been talking to his cousin who had initially contacted me about his condition, once he found out she messaged me to tell me of his hospitalization, he insisted that I stopped talking to her. When I asked why, he told me that some of his people's do not necessarily have good intentions and he doesnt want me or him to be badgered with money requests. Being that Ive had some not-so-honest relatives myself, I kinda related to it?

He's good I must give that to him.
You also seem determined to prove you've not being deceived.
I leave you to find out the hard way.

Good luck!!!

Charris2284:


He's about to be 28. My brother actually was in his 20s when he was diagnosed with very high blood pressure. And yea, my brother has been hospitalized for a failing marriage, amongst other things. So I do know it is possible. But, I also understand that it could be a fabrication. He's a little overweight. So it isnt like he is the EPITOME of health. It seemed believeable especially when I was hearing from his family.

I will say interestingly enough, after I had been talking to his cousin who had initially contacted me about his condition, once he found out she messaged me to tell me of his hospitalization, he insisted that I stopped talking to her. When I asked why, he told me that some of his people's do not necessarily have good intentions and he doesnt want me or him to be badgered with money requests. Being that Ive had some not-so-honest relatives myself, I kinda related to it?

Even though from what you wrote he doesn't sound all cheat-free, I can tell one thing you really do love him. I'd suggest you get a way to come to Nigeria and do the marriage instead, it would be easier granting you a visa to come over here than him getting one to mover over to the US.
As for the many negative comments here, I guess that's one of the reasons he wouldn't have loved you discussing with other Nigerians, Even though they might have a point little jealousy might be attached to it.

I do hope you find true love with him and get to meet him sooner. Ciao

Alki:


Even though from what you wrote he doesn't sound all cheat-free, I can tell one thing you really do love him. I'd suggest you get a way to come to Nigeria and do the marriage instead, it would be easier granting you a visa to come over here than him getting one to mover over to the US.
As for the many negative comments here, I guess that's one of the reasons he wouldn't have loved you discussing with other Nigerians, Even though they might have a point little jealousy might be attached to it.

I do hope you find true love with him and get to meet him sooner. Ciao

Nonsense, he's milking her emotonally by being a cheat n heart breaker as well as, financially, you're talking about marriage. She love him, but the guys motive is questionable.
Put yourself in her shoe, would you liked to be scammed?

I honestly can see it with both sides. There's a part of me that keeps saying "what if this is all just pretend" and then there's also that part of me the empathizes with him and have so much emotional investment with him.

I'm going to cut off any financial support. I've basically already done that but every now and again, I've been known to send him $30 USD here or there for miscellaneous stuff. But I'm gonna have to just stick to it and no longer send anything. And I've already told him that and he agreed.

I also requested that he buy and send me a ring if he is serious about being engaged. He said he wanted to wait to give it to me in person, but I told him I can't blindly walk into an engagement without one. He also agreed to that.

So...we will see how it goes. I really do have a lot of time invested in him and in his life (if it is his life that he's shown me).

He knows that if the flirting and/or cheating continues, I will not hesitate to return the favor and then leave. I'm not gonna sit here and be celibate and played, while he is out on the town with some chick. I've got a line waiting outside the door. So if he doesnt make sure his own door is secured with a lock, my door will open, as well.

Tolax17:


Nonsense, he's milking her emotonally by being a cheat n heart breaker as well as, financially, you're talking about marriage. She love him, but the guys motive is questionable.
Put yourself in her shoe, would you liked to be scammed?

Beautifully, beautifully stated.....and if u are a male....kudos to u.

Charris2284:
I honestly can see it with both sides. There's a part of me that keeps saying "what if this is all just pretend" and then there's also that part of me the empathizes with him and have so much emotional investment with him.

I'm going to cut off any financial support. I've basically already done that but every now and again, I've been known to send him $30 USD here or there for miscellaneous stuff. But I'm gonna have to just stick to it and no longer send anything. And I've already told him that and he agreed.

I also requested that he buy and send me a ring if he is serious about being engaged. He said he wanted to wait to give it to me in person, but I told him I can't blindly walk into an engagement without one. He also agreed to that.

So...we will see how it goes. I really do have a lot of time invested in him and in his life (if it is his life that he's shown me).

He knows that if the flirting and/or cheating continues, I will not hesitate to return the favor and then leave. I'm not gonna sit here and be celibate and played, while he is out on the town with some chick. I've got a line waiting outside the door. So if he doesnt make sure his own door is secured with a lock, my door will open, as well.

Hi Miss,
I've been reading your post...and can truly feel your pain. You seem to really love this guy.
Wow....there's just so much wrong with this picture
I want to say so much to you...but I've been pleasantly surprised at the advice that the Nigerians are giving to u...
I have yet to give a dime or product to any guy that I've met on N.L....although I have been asked multiple times.
I have been called names because of my refusal...but guess what?
I have to be as wise as a serpent and as harm-less as a dove..
I'm not a sugar-momma...never been one...and never will be one.
I totally understand u wanting to help him...and you seem to have fallen in love with him...but heed the advice given here.
I usually am generous...but this situation is totally different.
You don't know people online...or in another country.
You have to proceed with caution and with time, they have to prove themselves sincere and honest. If they don't want to do that, then they need to move on.
All Nigerians aren't bad..as I have met some nice ones on this site...but boy oh boy...I have dealt with the other side too.
U say u haven't given much money...but all of that money that u listed adds up...
The one guy said it right that a "man should NOT be asking u for money"....period.
I welcome the name-calling...cause I was cautioned as well...and I tend to continue my stance.
I prayerfully hope that the truth is revealed an du can have peace........
P.S. Don't degrade yourself...you are one man's dream and that's all you need.
Have some self-esteem...cause you are beautiful on the outside...and seem to be the same on the inside

MsNgo40:



Beautifully, beautifully stated.....and if u are a male....kudos to u.

Thanks ma
I am man though we need to be honest with others
Oyinbo wey no sabi anything
The guy dey chop free money she dey talk love.
Unfortunately, love still never clear from her eyes
Soon to become maga + mugu= dondy

I can't believe I read the whole story. I wish the both of you goodluck

Tolax17:


Nonsense, he's milking her emotonally by being a cheat n heart breaker as well as, financially, you're talking about marriage. She love him, but the guys motive is questionable.
Put yourself in her shoe, would you liked to be scammed?

I won't love that. Why I'm talking like this is because my friend also had a relationship like this. The woman started add his friends and some where giving negative reviews and all sort of things. In the end she had to come over to Nigeria and everything went well. Cc Charris2284

Charris2284:
I honestly can see it with both sides. There's a part of me that keeps saying "what if this is all just pretend" and then there's also that part of me the empathizes with him and have so much emotional investment with him.

I'm going to cut off any financial support. I've basically already done that but every now and again, I've been known to send him $30 USD here or there for miscellaneous stuff. But I'm gonna have to just stick to it and no longer send anything. And I've already told him that and he agreed.

I also requested that he buy and send me a ring if he is serious about being engaged. He said he wanted to wait to give it to me in person, but I told him I can't blindly walk into an engagement without one. He also agreed to that.

So...we will see how it goes. I really do have a lot of time invested in him and in his life (if it is his life that he's shown me).

He knows that if the flirting and/or cheating continues, I will not hesitate to return the favor and then leave. I'm not gonna sit here and be celibate and played, while he is out on the town with some chick. I've got a line waiting outside the door. So if he doesnt make sure his own door is secured with a lock, my door will open, as well.

If you come to Nigeria and he acts all funny you are free to dump him, until then I'd advice you come here first before further actions are taken.

I don't truly know what to say cos someone is reporting and that same person is defending... madam do yourself a favour by moving on. this life no get duplicate, use ur life to the fullest.

I really do appreciate all of the feedback, opinions and advice, regardless of stance. Thank you all for taking time to provide input and also kind words. I pray for the best, but expect the worst, if that makes sense.

Sure. Best of grace

Charris2284:


Certainly do appreciate your (and everyone's ) input on the matter. Only time will tell. And it definitely will tell.

Charris2284:


I wasnt lonely though? I think he assumed I was because of my size. He does have 2 FB accounts of the same name. Ive seen his passport. Ive talked over the phone to his mother. Ive seen him on video. I dont think he is lying about his identity. But I do think he is cheating and possibly using me.

This sounds like the same guy I was dating