₦airaland Forum

Good day Admin,

This is a call for advice. I need to make a serious decision about someone in my life and I need help in making very objective decisions because of the circumstances surrounding this relationship.

Daniella is my best friend's widow. We lost Steve to a hard battle against kidney failure but he passed on before his wife could give birth to their only son. It was a very tough period for his family,his young wife,Daniella who is just 26 years old and myself. I have been friends with Steve since 100 level engineering in Uniben. Before he passed,Steve asked me to help look after his wife,make sure she moves on and is happy.

Daniella was seven months pregnant at the time. It was a hard pregnancy. She eventually gave birth prematurely due to the stress of Steve's passing. I and Steve's family members rallied around her during the pregnancy/delivery,trying to make things easier for her.Steve's family wanted Daniella to move in with them so they can look after her. Daniella was not cool with that. She didnt have feel comfortable with them after being there for like a month. She became depressed and she said being around his parents who were still mourning made her always remember how she lost her husband and that led to her being depressed.

Because of what Steve told me,I convinced his parents to allow Daniella move in with me so she can have a change of environment. Daniella moved in with me and I also signed her up to see a therapist twice every week so she can come out of her depression. All went well and before long,Daniella began to feel better. On the other hand,my fiance (Jasmine) didnt like the idea of my best friend's widow living with me even though I live in a big duplex. Daniella had her own quarters,so even though we were in the same building,we we not in the same living quarters. I tried to explain to Jasmine that it was temporary and I was surprised that she would make an issue out of this for someone grieving the loss of her husband. Jasmine moved in with me cos she wanted to keep an eye on me.

That really infuriated me but to prove her wrong,I allowed it. But Jasmine was quite petty,instead of being the support that Daniella needed,she started being a source of stress for Daniella. Daniella felt bad and wanted to leave but I wouldnt have it. Jas accused me of choosing Ella over her and we had a fight. Jas left in anger. Daniella was crying and being very emotional wishing Steve was alive. What I couldnt bear was to see Ella cry like this. It broke my heart and I knew Steve wanted me to be there for her. So while she was crying,I held her and comforted her. She held on to me and cried for quite a while. It was comforting to know I could be her shoulder to cry on.

But what followed after,shocked ....................

Full story @ https://livelystones.com.ng/in-love-with-my-best-friends-widow-but-his-family-will-not-approve/

Infatuation noni

People grieve in very strange situations but this is not a healthy way to try and make things right.
Your motives look sinister regardless of how you want to explain them. Moving a friend’s widow into your house cost you your relationship and your fiancé was right to be suspicious. This looks like a plan made by someone who secretly liked his friend’s wife and the moment the earth covered his coffin you made your move.

The widow needs to go to her parents or find somewhere to live. Be respectful to both families and see if the passage of time changes anything. Regardless of what your friend said ( was there anyone else who heard that conversation?) this will just cause rifts all around.

I see infatuation, rebound, danger ahead...

This point of her life is not a good time to make an important decision because she is not thinking 100% clear minded. Right now she sees you as her knight in shinny armour.

Best thing will be to allow her grieve alone and get her late hubby out of her system so that she can be in a good mental state to fall in love again.

I gave this same advice to someone about 15yrs ago. He didn't take it and it ended badly.

True word ma. Four months is just too early for Christ sake. Imagine ,his friends wife!

MissRaine69:
People grieve in very strange situations but this is not a healthy way to try and make things right.
Your motives look sinister regardless of how you want to explain them. Moving a friend’s widow into your house cost you your relationship and your fiancé was right to be suspicious. This looks like a plan made by someone who secretly liked his friend’s wife and the moment the earth covered his coffin you made your move.

The widow needs to go to her parents or find somewhere to live. Be respectful to both families and see if the passage of time changes anything. Regardless of what your friend said ( was there anyone else who heard that conversation?) this will just cause rifts all around.