Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

Sorry dear. Be strong

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

JESUS is the way. He can save and deliver u from any form of pain and give u enormous strength.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

Come here honey...*big big hugs*...sorry dear.
So sorry.
I am so sorry.
God is your strength and comfort.
Ndo oh? Sorry ehn...take heart

arstot:


For u to have been able to come on nairaland this soon, guy u have overcome it... stop game ring people's response or unnecessary sympathies

Not true. I come to Nairaland to vent sometimes. Just knowing that people will respond is very comforting. He can`t cry before others in real life but knows that the humans on Nairaland will understand and offer him the comforting words his soul desperately needs.

Bjgirl1:
It's not easy, lost my husband recently,I wanted to commit suicide cos I thought I would never cope or survive for a week without him, it's been hell, those advising you to cry cannot understand, I've cried and still crying, lost weight cos I refused to eat for almost 5 months,he died in September, since he left nothing got meaning to me again, just living my life as it is. The more I cry,the more my health is deteriorating. I have no advise for you but will read other comments so as to gain one or two things from here as well cos i can't be consoled right now, just waiting on God's divine intervention.

ooooh! I`m so sorry Sweetie.
This really got to me.
You must have really loved yourselves.
Wow! So painful. Sorry oooooo

The more dependent you are on your loved ones,the more you will missed them when they are dead.Love is selfish but if you try more to be selfless about it,the less heart broken you will be in the event of tragedy or disappointment.

Death is the same as birth,it is inevitable,especially in nigeria where a contaminated glass of everyday water can kill you.

Prognose:


Funny question I want to ask but : Have you cried? Have you had a real good long cry (in private of course where no one can see you)?

Trust me, it helps.

True. Crying helps. It helps release the emotions and you feel lighter.

Op you will be fine. I have lost both and i am fine.

The bible says in ecclesiastes 3-1-10.there is time for everything. Time to cry n time to be consoled so all I will tell u is that (time) heal all wounds.give it time,it will surely pass away,cry if u want to,feel free believe me u wont die but do not cry like them that have no hope.embrace d situation that's when u can be consoled.[color=#990000][/color]I have been there 2times so I know.sorry for ur loss.take hrt

Loosing someone close or something dear hurts so bad, You feel empty and worthless, the feeling of reality is savage will overwhelm you and nothing will matter anymore.
This is the lowest point of any person life and soon enough depression might set it, crying wouldn't do nothing but to relive the momentary pain.

Change location for some time, find new place and at this point, you are emotionally drained and vulnerable, you need love and lots of hug/cuddle to elevate your spirit.

Hard bro.....Never lost any one that close and I have no right to tell how you how you feel but trust me, I respect this phase you going through. It's will pass, your brain is only having a hard time processing loss. when it does finally, you would also advice me when I get in your shoes.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

So sorry for the loss.

Go through the pain and allow the pain go through you. Never try to suppress it, whenever you feel emotional? Please cry it out! Never allow all the "you are a man, be strong" get to you.
You are first human before you are a man.

I notice most consolers don't understand that kind of pain ( especially when you are very close to your father),some haven't been in your shoes before... so its easy to just say "it is well, he is in a better, be strong for your mum" everybody expects you to be strong for somebody, nobody really tells you to be strong for yourself. Which is sad.

Be careful not to loose yourself to this situation (depends on the circumstances that surrounded his death.) Because getting your real self won't be easy.

Now let me shock you, TIME is not going to heal the pain! No, it's not going to do that. You hear all the "time heals everything"? Is not applicable in this situation, so you can as well prepare your mind and don't think time will heal or take the pain away.

TIME is only going to change the way you react towards the pain, not heal it. You see they are totally different.

Lastly, and very importantly, please, surround yourself with good support system. Good friends, be happy, whatever it is you were doing before he died, be it a project, and exam, work or anything, get yourself busy with it. Don't let the grief stop you. Because your daddy is gone, abandoning anything you ought to do won't bring him back. Do them so you don't regret it later. Please and please take care of yourself, don't bottle any emotions you feel, everything is going to forever remind you of him, you can't escape that. So like I said earlier, go through the pain and allow the pain go through you.

May the holy spirit comfort you and your family.


Yeah... I'm talking from experience. It's been 4 years and it still seems like yesterday.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

sorry for the loss, u have to tell yourself that he is gone. my dad right now is in the mortuary. is so painful. I feel ur pains.

Nnaa, sorry. That’s how life is; but we must learn to let go. He has finished his earthly journey, and has been called home by his maker. The responsibility of living in this world and making your family better rests on your shoulders. Be strong and let go. I actually felt the same way when I lost my mum about four years ago.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

Sorry for your loss may his soul rest in peace.

The pain is still very raw, the worst thing you can do is bottle it up. Talk about it, keep talking about it and cry when you need to. Also concentrate on the good times you had with your dad and consider yourself lucky to have had the opportunity to know this wonderful person.

Then ask yourself will your Dad want you to be sad or in pain? He will want you to celebrate his life and move on but not forget him. Time is a great healer and later when you think of him it will bring smiles to your face. May the good Lord give you and your family the strength to overcome this great loss. Amen

Bjgirl1:
It's not easy, lost my husband recently,I wanted to commit suicide cos I thought I would never cope or survive for a week without him, it's been hell, those advising you to cry cannot understand, I've cried and still crying, lost weight cos I refused to eat for almost 5 months,he died in September, since he left nothing got meaning to me again, just living my life as it is. The more I cry,the more my health is deteriorating. I have no advise for you but will read other comments so as to gain one or two things from here as well cos i can't be consoled right now, just waiting on God's divine intervention.

Crying won't bring him back... you need good support system. My mum was in your shoes, she could help, if you don't mind.

I'm not sure but TIME will heal the pain for sure... everybody dies

Please accept my sympathy.

I can so relate to the pain you feel because today marks 11 years I lost my dear sister.

I know you heart feels so heavy that you feel it might explode. its a normal feeling, shed the tears if you want to cause it relieves you of the pain.

Above all, pray to God to help you bear the pain. it might sound funny, but it works like magic. Everytime you feel that heaviness in your heart, silently pray and say "Please God help me go through this".

Be strong and courageous.

RIP to your dad.

alexistaiwo:

As soon as pepper rests..
Even if I have five years left on earth, I must acquire that education.


I am not even after it because of a white collar job.
I just feel like I am too academically bright not to have an higher institution education.

May God help us.

Truth be told, I am a fan of yours. You write educatedly as exemplified on the betting thread! You can just go to make it a formality. Cheers!

I feel your pains cos I have been there. Believe me it will be well. Don't hold back tears because you want to please people that say"be a man"... Real men cry when they are hurt. But most importantly you will find comfort in Christ Jesus cos he is the only comforter as he promised us in
Matthew 5:4 "blessed are they that mourn, they shall be comforted"

You will only be comforted if you draw closer to God. This is a trying time for you. May God be with you.

Prognose:


No, it won't cause more harm

See you are already troubled so much that you opened a thread about it.

Mourn dude. Go somewhere quiet and weep. Think about the good times and bad times with him and weep deep. Get it out of your system.

I almost developed health issues after the death of my dad. I refused to cry. Heck, I laughed and joked in public most times. But I was being consumed inside, like a black hole that just kept getting bigger. After a while I couldn't even sleep.

I finally suddenly and unexpectedly burst into tears one day. Went into a security man's post to weep (the guy must have been shocked ). It lasted about 20mins but it helped a lot. Wiped my tears and came out grinning again and all was well.

Seriously, take time out and do a private memorial, just you and him. You'll feel better.

yea, it helped me when I lost my dad, I didn't want to cry at 1st but one day in the bathroom I let it out, I cried like a baby and washed my tears with my bath water after that I felt better.

Jhayeahsam01:
go get a sugar daddy
and you will overcome the pain

And the mods couldn't ban this brainless dimwit permanently..

On the day of your sorrow, people will talk trash on you, then you see how it feels.

@OP, be strong. I can only imagine the kind of pains you are going through.. But be strong, time will heal every pain. Be strong bro.

Sorry for your loss bro.What you are feeling is normal, with time it will ease off, but if you have children, try and be strong for them.If you are married, though your wife too is bereaved, she does not share the full package of memories of your dad which you have,so let her console you in the way only a dear loving wife can,then you will be just fine.

alexistaiwo:

As soon as pepper rests..
Even if I have five years left on earth, I must acquire that education.


I am not even after it because of a white collar job.
I just feel like I am too academically bright not to have an higher institution education.

May God help us.

Amen bro I so much like your Instinct. God bless us.

just try to forget as am also trying here, I lost my dad in December last year to cancer of intestine I still cry every day on it but I kno one day it will pass.

We got 3 kids together(11,7 and 3). It's not easy because I can't just accept the fact that he's gone. It's so painful and unbearable. Crying as I'm typing this, I just can't accept that he's gone. This life is vanity.

kennymartinz:
sorry madam but my candid advise is for you to accept the fact that he is gone and can never come back. please just try and pull yourself together and do not think of committing suicide because its a sin before God and i know he would not be happy seeing u do that where ever he is. its really painful but there is nothing one can do about it. If you have children for him please see those children as your husband and dont worsen matter by trying to leave them alone again thus making them an orphan. may his soul rest in peace.

I know crying can never bring him back but that's the only way I can grief,I can never talk or think about him without shedding painful tears. I invited my mom over to stay with me but that doesn't help at all, I knw she's not happy I'm not healing but it's my fault, I just can't let go.

amokeme:

Crying won't bring him back... you need good support system. My mum was in your shoes, she could help, if you don't mind.

Thank you. His death taught me alot, we should appreciate ourselves as if that'll be our last moments,I left him at home for work Hale and hearty but was called my last daughter called 911, I still met him alive when I rushed home but died within hours, it was like a dream to me.

boyjo:


ooooh! I`m so sorry Sweetie.
This really got to me.
You must have really loved yourselves.
Wow! So painful. Sorry oooooo

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

So sorry to read this bro. I understand how you feel because i have been on that path to. When my dad passed, i thought the world would come crashing down on me. I was in pains but i tried to make myself strong by consoling myself that my dad has done his own in this life and its now time for me to do mine. I also consoled myself with the thought that we would all die someday. I can assure you its only time that will heal the pain

Bjgirl1:
Thank you. His death taught me alot, we should appreciate ourselves as if that'll be our last moments,I left him at home for work Hale and hearty but was called my last daughter called 911, I still met him alive when I rushed home but died within hours, it was like a dream to me.

So sorry for your pain. When things like this happen, it forces us to put live into perspective and we find out that the most important things in life cost nothing and we begin to appreciate those things that most people take for granted. Continue to talk about it. Draw your strength from your religion, your friends and family. Don't push them away.

kenevision:


And the mods couldn't ban this brainless dimwit permanently..

On the day of your sorrow, people will talk trash on you, then you see how it feels.

@OP, be strong. I can only imagine the kind of pains you are going through.. But be strong, time will heal every pain. Be strong bro.

back to sender
holy ghost fire

Bjgirl1:
Thank you. His death taught me alot, we should appreciate ourselves as if that'll be our last moments,I left him at home for work Hale and hearty but was called my last daughter called 911, I still met him alive when I rushed home but died within hours, it was like a dream to me.

Oh dear LORD Jesus...
Big big hugs Sweetie, I`m so so sorry.
That image of him may remain with you for a long time, but you know what? The pain would ease......
The LORD is your strength.
Comfort to you my dear

It is okay to feel the pain but don't let it rule you.
I have been in your shoes so let me tell you what i did to overcome the pains.

1. Keep his legacy alive. Working on a project that he was working to benefit others.
2. Keep his memory alive . Ensure what people identify him with stays that way for a very long time.
3. Stay in a supportive system. Religious organisations / social societies can provide that kind of support.
4. Don't let tear wear you or family apart. Inheritance talk, Debts should be avoided as soon as possible.
5. If possible work with a therapist or professional help if you can afford it.
6. Dont Mind the trollers, flamers, mockers on this thread.
7. Dont ask too many far reaching questions , why now , why me, why this , gone too soon? God where are you?
8. Celebrate his achievement here on earth
9. Ensure that you seek for spiritual Help / guidance