₦airaland Forum

Sparkle777:
Pls open another religious friendly business for her,make it easy and stress free for her. Follow her to her church, get to know them and even complain to them. That ur fathers new wife sef,I hardly trust women like that, their jazz can upset the brains of the first wife. Ur Papa no do well oo.
Believe me,one day u will wish she were alive even wit her kolo. Somebody said here,he or she doesn't give the mom money anymore, hmmm trust African Mama curse,e go follow u die. Retrace and be nice to her,NO MATTER what.
Another thing,poster. I see ur detest and overly hatred for ur mom, pls also work on ur self. Most children end up suffering what happened to their parents. So u wouldn't want ur kids treating u wit such disdain,right?
As Mother Theresa said, if u want to change the world,go home and love ur family.

Does this even make sense to yourself ?

Someone quitted her job before a new wife is brought forward u still find a way to blame the new wife for that. Wishing she is alive does not necessarily entail condoning her kolo.

Your brain is wired wrongly, people should be helped / advised on the right things to do not tolerate their madness / illness unconditionally.

Quit silly African mentality n let everyone work at bettering each other lives.

Madukaele:
you just talked about my mum. I stopped sending her money.

You want to hasten her death right?

victorian:
Not every woman can work till 80years or 100years old.

Every woman body mechanism is different. So let her be and appreciate her presence until God calls her.

Do u know there are some young wives who do not wish to work. Have seen young married women who prefer to stay at home, breed kids, cook and simply attend to home duties, than go out there and hustle. Women of 26, 30,35,40, etc. They are everywhere world wide.
They just want to be housewife and there is nothing there husband can do about it, than to manage the situation.

So it's good, u all have left her to do her own thing.

My landlady she's 50years old, her husband is late. She doesn't work. All she does is collect rents from houses the late husband has built down. Then her grown up children, who lives abroad and also in Lagos. Pays her ticket fee to go spend vacations with them in UK, for like 3months before coming back to Nigeria. She has maids, she has some shops her daughters are handling for her.

All she does, is keep tabs of her rents and small businesses by the side, then sometimes organize birthday parties for herself.

What will u say about this one? Is she not a woman? Is she old? Just 50years. She doesn't work but enjoys life. While their is a 65years old lady cleaning our surroundings three times a week with other compounds on the street. This woman will work her heart out, after cleaning I will see her carrying bottles on her head, she's heading to the market to sell palm oil.

U can see the difference. Every woman with her own kadara, as Yoruba will say it.

So just accept your mum like that.

Thank goodness you stated what negated your entire comment. How can someone poor not want to work when some rich enough to have a house can manage side businesses.

If the rich were lazying around do you think they will have the wealth they have mcheeeew !

tribalmall:
Does this even make sense to yourself ?

Someone quitted her job before a new wife is brought forward u still find a way to blame the new wife for that. Wishing she is alive does not necessarily entail condoning her kolo.

Your brain is wired wrongly, people should be helped / advised on the right things to do not tolerate their madness / illness unconditionally.

Quit silly African mentality n let everyone work at bettering each other lives.

Pele oooh, pepper bodi. I resemble Buhari,neh?

She was a successful hairdresser for years and the breadwinner those years and all was fine, your dad assumed his supposed responsibility for a minute and she becomes a liability? Even married another wife when he can't take care of the family and you think she is the problem? Ok oh.
May your eyes open sooner or later.

tribalmall:
Thank goodness you stated what negated your entire comment. How can someone poor not want to work when some rich enough to have a house can manage side businesses.

If the rich were lazying around do you think they will have the wealth they have mcheeeew !

I know u are angry cos she's not slaving away. But anyways,
The side biz is managed by her son and one of her daughters. All she does is wait for them to give her the proceeds of the day or week. She isnt working .
And her lifestyle is OK for her.
If op mother is not wiling to work, nobody can force her.

Ammy5565:
She was a successful hairdresser for years and the breadwinner those years and all was fine, your dad assumed his supposed responsibility for a minute and she becomes a liability? Even married another wife when he can't take care of the family and you think she is the problem? Ok oh.
May your eyes open sooner or later.

Don't mind him. They want to kill the poor woman will work.

Cause it's because of them and their dad, she came to this life.
How can someone's grown up child not have human sympathy for his own mother.
Na wa o.
If my mum were alive, she wont lift a finger to work. I will make sure I care for her until her dying days.

And the father went ahead and married a second wife.
Can u imagine?

OP, what is causing you to disregard her? You guys are grown up and earning your own money now. She can choose not to work if she wants cos most parents work for their kids welfare. Allow her keep resting if she wants.
Though, if you feel she needs to be busy to keep off your hair, then try to convince her first. Let her gradually get into a business she likes and one that isn't against her religion.
Alternatively, you can try to get her out of that particular religious sect if possible.

victorian:
Don't mind him. They want to kill the poor woman will work.

Cause it's because of them and their dad, she came to this life.
How can someone's grown up child not have human sympathy for his own mother.
Na wa o.
If my mum were alive, she wont lift a finger to work. I will make sure I care for her until her dying days.

And the father went ahead and married a second wife.
Can u imagine?

What a fool you're, " If ur mom is alive I believe you will take care of her only after you've been taken care of, right? I don't hate her but I think u misread or u lack understanding to comprehend the story. She stopped working when she's young and her kids need to be taken care of, I was unable to attend university because all the burden rested on my dad's shoulder. Now, tell me how can I help her when she didn't help herself in her prime by supporting her husband to invest in her kids education?

victorian:
Don't mind him. They want to kill the poor woman will work.

Cause it's because of them and their dad, she came to this life.
How can someone's grown up child not have human sympathy for his own mother.
Na wa o.
If my mum were alive, she wont lift a finger to work. I will make sure I care for her until her dying days.

And the father went ahead and married a second wife.
Can u imagine?

What a fool you're, " If ur mom is alive I believe you will take care of her only after you've been taken care of, right? I don't hate her but I think u misread or u lack understanding to comprehend the story. She stopped working when she's young and her kids need to be taken care of, I was unable to attend university because all the burden rested on my dad's shoulder. Now, tell me how can I help her when she didn't help herself in her prime by supporting her husband to invest in her kids education?

Ezkid:
What a fool you're, " If ur mom is alive I believe you will take care of her only after you've been taken care of, right? I don't hate her but I think u misread or u lack understanding to comprehend the story. She stopped working when she's young and her kids need to be taken care of, I was unable to attend university because all the burden rested on my dad's shoulder. Now, tell me how can I help her when she didn't help herself in her prime by supporting her husband to invest in her kids education? What a fool you're, " If ur mom is alive I believe you will take care of her only after you've been taken care of, right? I don't hate her but I think u misread or u lack understanding to comprehend the story. She stopped working when she's young and her kids need to be taken care of, I was unable to attend university because all the burden rested on my dad's shoulder. Now, tell me how can I help her when she didn't help herself in her prime by supporting her husband to invest in her kids education?

Well no need stopping low to your level of trading insults. That's all you are good for.

Am done with this topic.
Bye.

victorian:
Well no need stopping low to your level of trading insults. That's all you are good for.

Am done with this topic.
Bye.

Devil may care about ur ego but I DON'T!

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice. My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again, my Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her. My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld. There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stooped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, its disgust me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him. What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family. Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

My brother, nobody in this world has 2 mothers. Please love your mother no matter what. Those who have lost their mothers will give anything to have them back.

Take her to a psychiatrist.

Mushriqun:
You want to hasten her death right?

let her know she needs to change. will resume the monthly allowance. she ends up giving the cash to pastors that pray for her

nosagold:
My brother, nobody in this world has 2 mothers. Please love your mother no matter what. Those who have lost their mothers will give anything to have them back.

I guess you'll give anything to have her back if she abandoned you in your childhood days, smh for African mentality, they always idolized their parents even when they lack parental care, its not my choice to come through her and as such she owed me a living, those spilling trashes here have forgotten that you can only take care of your parents if they took care of you. She unwittingly cut her source of income thereby denied those innocent kids the good lives they deserved. Im just over 20 and I have kids sisters and brother, now their responsibility has indirectly fallen on me because sometimes when dad isn't around I took it upon myself to feed them with my hard earned money including her, it has become obvious im on my own on issues regarding my education and I've accepted my fate but what I won't accept is feeding her with money im supposed to support myself and my education with.

victorian:
Well no need stopping low to your level of trading insults. That's all you are good for.

Am done with this topic.
Bye.

I tire for this poster ooh wit one proper kolo friend and supporter there. All they want to hear is for us to encourage them to kee dia mama. Issorite.

I know a man that started feeding himself from primary school and currently he gives his mom who has not been working for more than 30 years monthly upkeep , most of his siblings who are more than 30 years old cannot feed themselves without him.

Never forget that every child has a responsibility towards his/her parent.

So what do you have to say @op?

Ezkid,

could it be that your mom suffers from paranoia or schizophrenia? I am not a doctor but her behavior is very unsettling and I can only imagine what you have been through. If it is a mental illness, a doctor/psychiatrist could help.

eleojo23:
Looking at her age, the feelings of paranoia and irrational behaviour are signs that she might be going through a rough menopause. For some women, it starts as early as age 40.

In this phase, such women act as if they have bipolar disorder and they begin to carry their religious beliefs to the extreme because they think they have a heightened sixth sense and that they can see what everyone else is not seeing.
All these can make life difficult for her family members and it really takes a lot of patience to cope with them during this phase


If you can convince her to see a doctor, he may be able to help her with hormone replacement therapy.

cc: Lalasticlala

Op if only you could read this post by eleojo. I agree that she should do something to generate income but you need to stop blaming her and sympathise. You never know what she could be going through. You said it yourself, you know her actions are unusual.

She might really need psychiatric attention but even if that is the case you as her child need to be there for her. Stop thinking of what she should have done or should be doing, just LOVE her. She gave birth to you, nurtured you and you are here typing plenty English.

Please take a deep breath and decide to LOVE your mum till her dying day. Without judgement.

Madukaele:
let her know she needs to change. will resume the monthly allowance. she ends up giving the cash to pastors that pray for her

Nevertheless! You owes her a lot, just let her know where she was wrong.. And do the monthly alawee Asap. God bless you.

Ezkid:
Yes! Her inability to contribute to the well being of the family is the result of her decision to stop working, She's been jobless for two decades under the pretence of becoming born again, and she's not really serving the God she left everything for cos her intolerance for others is far from anything Christlike.

Listen, it appears your mom has some kind of mild psychological disturbance. It sounds like she suffers from mood swings etc. This could be caused by various factors. Please ensure that she sees a clinical psychologist, or a consultant psychiatrist. She might have to be placed on medication, to restore her sense of well-being. Just like you have physical illnesses like malaria, high blood pressure or even joint pains, a person can also have psychological imbalances caused by stress, hormonal imbalance, depression and a wide variety of factors. Don't blame her. Assist her to get the medical care and help, she needs. Good luck.

eleojo23:
Looking at her age, the feelings of paranoia and irrational behaviour are signs that she might be going through a rough menopause. For some women, it starts as early as age 40.

In this phase, such women act as if they have bipolar disorder and they begin to carry their religious beliefs to the extreme because they think they have a heightened sixth sense and that they can see what everyone else is not seeing.
All these can make life difficult for her family members and it really takes a lot of patience to cope with them during this phase

If you can convince her to see a doctor, he may be able to help her with hormone replacement therapy.

Mindfulness:
Ezkid,

could it be that your mom suffers from paranoia or schizophrenia? I am not a doctor but her behavior is very unsettling and I can only imagine what you have been through. If it is a mental illness, a doctor/psychiatrist could help.

You are right! I also had the same suspicion when I started reading the OP's post. His mum really needs medical attention. I pray she gets it.

Collins0609:
My mom is dead,as in real dead.i remember blaming her for some things;i wish she is alive today causing me a lot of trouble;been my burden.i wil give her everything only to make her happy and more troublesome.u own her,she didnt kill u when u are a child and spent a lot to c u grow as u are now.i remember my mum carrying me and running all d way to d hospital when am sick.i love my mum.i only wish she is alive today.u dont know what u have unless u lose it.u mom prayers is what keeping spiritual and evil minded person to get to u.u life,ur choice.
Over an out

your mum is not his mum, two different people

Everybody has a complaint or two to make about their parents, but when a child sounds this bitter about it, it is not normal

Vote Out Buhari

Too long summary please @ OP

IamD18:

Sparkle777:
I tire for this poster ooh wit one proper kolo friend and supporter there. All they want to hear is for us to encourage them to kee dia mama. Issorite.

No mind the op, he should go and strangle her for not working anymore.

victorian:
Not every woman can work till 80years or 100years old.

Every woman body mechanism is different. So let her be and appreciate her presence until God calls her.

Do u know there are some young wives who do not wish to work. Have seen young married women who prefer to stay at home, breed kids, cook and simply attend to home duties, than go out there and hustle. Women of 26, 30,35,40, etc. They are everywhere world wide.
They just want to be housewife and there is nothing there husband can do about it, than to manage the situation.

So it's good, u all have left her to do her own thing.

My landlady she's 50years old, her husband is late. She doesn't work. All she does is collect rents from houses the late husband has built down. Then her grown up children, who lives abroad and also in Lagos. Pays her ticket fee to go spend vacations with them in UK, for like 3months before coming back to Nigeria. She has maids, she has some shops her daughters are handling for her.

All she does, is keep tabs of her rents and small businesses by the side, then sometimes organize birthday parties for herself.

What will u say about this one? Is she not a woman? Is she old? Just 50years. She doesn't work but enjoys life. While their is a 65years old lady cleaning our surroundings three times a week with other compounds on the street. This woman will work her heart out, after cleaning I will see her carrying bottles on her head, she's heading to the market to sell palm oil.

U can see the difference. Every woman with her own kadara, as Yoruba will say it.

So just accept your mum like that.

you are a lazy bum..

OneCorner:
no mind ur mama... she no get sense

This is bad bro... if someone says this about your mum, how would you feel??

victorian:
Well no need stopping low to your level of trading insults. That's all you are good for.

Am done with this topic.
Bye.

Pay him no attention, if he can speak ill of his mother, how much more you? Imagine him calling you names.

Men with no respect for women.

You are a stupiid person for saying it disgust you too feed your mum with your hard earned money.

See ungratefulness

chloride6:
you are a lazy bum..

Thank you

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

you need to wise up and Pray for your Mother, especially a strong prayer of deliverance...all this useless church with Underworld Pastors full everywhere and they are ready to put anybody that comes there way into there bondage...you need to take the stand and authority against the Devil over your family...and u better do it fast before things escalate or grow more worse...don't even think of rebelling or talking back against your mom, it will not work cos she is not in her right mind