₦airaland Forum

Thegeneralqueen:
I know you're back that's why I asked

Ordimma e ma ortu monday ce ya di oru erbenine

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

Ajisebioyolaari:
@OP, your mum is suffering paranoia or bi-polar disorder. Now, I am very authoritative about this because while I read about your mum's behaviour, withdrawal symptoms and religious belief/fear about everything irrelevant, I saw my sister again.

When my sister started hers, it was really terrible. Better thank God that your mum is not violent. Imagine returning from work to meet all your clothes burnt because your sister thinks they are satanic. I used to be very angry with my sister, thinking she did all she was doing on purpose.....until I got a better understanding.

Not until we took her to a pyschiatric hospital and ensured she was placed on admission till she got better. Even then, she had to be on drugs for a long time and we ensured she took her drugs religiously. I later started feeling pity for her instead of anger. It's not your mum's fault. Something must have happened to her which she didnt share and she prolly sank into depression which has worsened her mental health. Please take care of your mum and God will reward you for it.

PS: You sound unnecessarily rude, there's no need for that. Opinions must always differ, learn to respect other people's view. Cheers!

PietraK:
The only problem here is depression. Take her to a federal medical centre for treatment. You will be surprised what magic antidepressants and family love can wield.

I was there. Please take my advise and you will enjoy your Mum again.

thebosstrevor:
Many people here are emotional instead of being logical.

for a women to take church seriously than taking care of her household shows that her church is more important than the welfare of her children.in my opinion she failed as a parent.

I have seen this occurrence common among many women members of deeper life,redeem and mountain of fire,chosen etc,many of this women run from mountains to islands for prayers instead of facing their problems and solving it.the cause of over religiousness is mental illness,you yourself wont know it,this is not also common among religious people but also among educated and illiterate people,people who are too emotional for you to give them reasons through facts,they are always in denial,that is why a pastor in america called Jim Jones was able to deceive his members into mass death by taking poison.

to be fair with you,i understand what you are going through and i will say your mother disappointed you,it is not easy especially for you to work hard only or you to use the money on her and your siblings instead of yourself.it is the responsibility of both parents to take care of their children until they are mature enough to earn,your father also is not reliable,he is more interested in sex than you guys.

Many Nigerian parent have failed their children,once a parent put self-fish act before the welfare of a child,it shows irresponsibility.both parents are self fish and i wish they could see the damage they are doing to their children because if all was good,he wont be on nairaland complaining.

i will advice,you do all possible stuff to make her stop going to that church,the more she attends,the more she become worst,it will be surprising to you that she gives your hard earn money to the pastor,who goes on to better his own life while she suffers.

secondly,you need to stop sending money to her until she agrees to stop going to that church.

also you need to make her see reality,a man hope is to be better than his parent not be like them,you cant continue to live like this,please save for your future.

she has two legs and two hands and she is walking well,she needs to start doing something with her life,some times you need to make people uncomfortable for them to start seeing the truth

sshyne:
. My mum was the bread winner of the family, when I was in school she was the only one I call for money. All of a sudden she left her well paying job saying God told her to do so. Brother, I must confess we suffered for that single decision she made. All I can say is the CHURCH contributed to her issue especially the "die by fire ministry". She is currently diagnosed with a Mental illness and we have being battling it for years and she won't accept any medication because she believes it's spiritual thanks to all those "god of men" and there toxic teachings.
r.

Nedfed:
Just need sum1 to summaries dis 4 me

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

busomma:
The church & the pastor destroyed ur family by completely brainwashing ur mother into a zombie. Ur mother is actually suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. With proper medication she will get back her senses with time. I feel ur pain my dear. May God be with ur family .

victorian:
Abi?

I pity the mother for giving birth to such ungrateful son.
Better to have female children than such a son!
He's talking about not been able to bag a degree in the university. When there are so many graduates out there without jobs, trekking with torn shirts and battered shoes.
He should go and see his mates who didn't go to university, how well off they are and enjoying life. Cos why? They think out the box and outside the norms of the society.

Any man who dispise his mother will suffer in life. It's not curse but what God has ordained already from above.

That's why he's suffering. So much hate in his heart towards his mum.

Na their he go dey ,no going forward no going backward. He should keep hating her. He is doing himself.

GraGra247:
The hype, love and respect for mothers and fathers is very excellent and healthy but make no mistake there are parents that are very bad examples.

Unfortunately the Society makes it a taboo for individuals to complain about the bad influence of their parents.

This is totally wrong and its the kind of thing that leads to for instance a father carnally abusing the daughter and the daughter keeping mute out of fear that society will accuse her of disrespect and contempt for her dad.

You're doing the right thing by coming foward with things you consider your mom is doing wrong so ignore anybody that will accuse you of disrespect and contempt.

Just try to deal with the problem of your mom but be sure to include a high level of COURTESY AND RESPECT for her every inch of the way else you'll ruin it.

If she stopped making hair, there are so many other businesses she can do. You can help her open a store, a restaurant or food item business if you can afford.

Getting her busy will give her less time to bother the tenants and neighbors and other nasty things you complained about.

EOD.

OneCorner:
no mind ur mama... she no get sense

Ezkid:
Borehole also think she have a say. Absurdity!

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

victorian:
Not every woman can work till 80years or 100years old.

Every woman body mechanism is different. So let her be and appreciate her presence until God calls her.

Do u know there are some young wives who do not wish to work. Have seen young married women who prefer to stay at home, breed kids, cook and simply attend to home duties, than go out there and hustle. Women of 26, 30,35,40, etc. They are everywhere world wide.
They just want to be housewife and there is nothing there husband can do about it, than to manage the situation.

So it's good, u all have left her to do her own thing.

My landlady she's 50years old, her husband is late. She doesn't work. All she does is collect rents from houses the late husband has built down. Then her grown up children, who lives abroad and also in Lagos. Pays her ticket fee to go spend vacations with them in UK, for like 3months before coming back to Nigeria. She has maids, she has some shops her daughters are handling for her.

All she does, is keep tabs of her rents and small businesses by the side, then sometimes organize birthday parties for herself.

What will u say about this one? Is she not a woman? Is she old? Just 50years. She doesn't work but enjoys life. While their is a 65years old lady cleaning our surroundings three times a week with other compounds on the street. This woman will work her heart out, after cleaning I will see her carrying bottles on her head, she's heading to the market to sell palm oil.

U can see the difference. Every woman with her own kadara, as Yoruba will say it.

So just accept your mum like that.

aureen:
I know a man that started feeding himself from primary school and currently he gives his mom who has not been working for more than 30 years monthly upkeep , most of his siblings who are more than 30 years old cannot feed themselves without him.

Never forget that every child has a responsibility towards his/her parent.

So what do you have to say @op?

MhisTahrah:
And the emboldened is a good thing?Smh.

Xda59:
It disgusts you to feed your own mother with your hard earned money because she is hail and hearty? The same woman who carried you for nine tough months and went through labour to have you? Wo, you just placed curse on your head out of ignorance.

RadicallyBlunt:
I fully understand you. My mum is worse. Most melchlor women have dat psychic issue. You're even lucky to have siblings and a father figure. I'm d only child of a single mum who's difficult to live with with a terrible countenance and temperament..always nagging. Yet she goes to church than anyone.

Some elders told me they wanted to take me away from her while I was a kid so I won't be affected but taking an only child from such a woman isn't child's play. They left me to grow up with it. Bro it affected me badly. Sincerely I'm blunt bcus I have a broken personality. Too much endurance can break a person. Up till today she doesnt see any wrong in her deeds. Many have suggested a psychology therapy, but to even mention it in her ears is to be her permanent enemy for life. It's a long story bro..a very long one.

Just take one day at a time and pray for an understanding wife cus d girls of these days don't understand anything abt enduring especially for such a mother in-law. Take time to understand her and draw ur line when u become a man on ur own. God help you bro.

Ezkid:
My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

tribalmall:
Does this even make sense to yourself ?

Someone quitted her job before a new wife is brought forward u still find a way to blame the new wife for that. Wishing she is alive does not necessarily entail condoning her kolo.

Your brain is wired wrongly, people should be helped / advised on the right things to do not tolerate their madness / illness unconditionally.

Quit silly African mentality n let everyone work at bettering each other lives.

tribalmall:
Does this even make sense to yourself ?

Someone quitted her job before a new wife is brought forward u still find a way to blame the new wife for that. Wishing she is alive does not necessarily entail condoning her kolo.

Your brain is wired wrongly, people should be helped / advised on the right things to do not tolerate their madness / illness unconditionally.

Quit silly African mentality n let everyone work at bettering each other lives.