₦airaland Forum

fancy4eve:
if him get heaven and earth, na him pocket, it does not add any value 2 my lyf ohk, so I don't see reasons y I should b angry ova his success. Mind u, real mean don't brag, dere Attitude speaks for dem, Abeg shift make we see road.

columbus007:
bro i have meant a lady and she was so pretty,we dated for 5yrs,now let me say this for the first time,whenever i have a dream concerning her,whatever she demand from me on that dream,the next morning as soon as i wake she will be calling for it.and i think that's spiritual like you mentioned am i right?

Elder001:
Are their parents dead?

Elder001:
Are their parents dead?

Elder001:
You're right sha... only less than 2% will date you without making such demands but they're not rare.
they've their own set of rules ..
they don't tolerate nonsense
you can't find them in clubs and you can hardly find them in social gatherings.

john650:
I'm sorry to say but Nigerian relationships are transactional. The love they show you is directly proportional to the money you give them.

My advice, look for a maid that is of marriage age and marry. They will show you more love than all these spoilt brats and demand less from you.

Simplybami:
Now, this is someone sensible! !! The funniest thing is, guys find ladies like these too disciplined and uptight lol. So they go for the ones they can easily maneuver. Smh.

Elder001:
yes..
I'm tired of seeing all these kinda topics
if a lady demands for money say no or tell her you don't have..
are they forcing the money from your pockets?

tell them you don't have money to give or no.. shikena

all these wailing are becoming childish.. there are independent ladies out there but you guys prefer broke dependent ladies and later y'all will start complaining on nairaland.

comshots:
One told me straight that i would spend on her.Another one was indirectly telling her friend in my present that she could only date a guy who would be giving her ₦5k every month after i had asked her out.The other one asked me to lend her ₦5k to help cater for her sick mother.I no say that ₦5k go enter voicemail lastly.Well,i dey avoid them after that statement.There are other mugu to extract money from.

Simplybami:
Now, this is someone sensible! !! The funniest thing is, guys find ladies like these too disciplined and uptight lol. So they go for the ones they can easily maneuver. Smh.

Ormorlehwah:
That is what you are destined to have.

BabiiKE:

fancy4eve:
if him get heaven and earth, na him pocket, it does not add any value 2 my lyf ohk, so I don't see reasons y I should b angry ova his success. Mind u, real mean don't brag, dere Attitude speaks for dem, Abeg shift make we see road.

yabas:
Honestly I dont even know where to start. I am tired of supporting girls financially. Since I started dating women, I cant say I have been lucky. Its always buy me this and buy me that. Phone, laptop, recharge cards, dash me, transport etc, I have done it all. Though when I recently started complaining, my close friend told me that he has also been doing same but didnt want to let guys know so that people will not laugh at him.

After all the expenditure, u still break up with them when you get tired of the demands. Does it mean that MAJORITY of Nigerian girls use guys for money? Or is it just me.

I seriously need a gf that will not ask me for anything. Some of my friends will tell you how they have dated one or two wonderful girls that dont demand for anything but not me, I cant point to any girl that I have dated, that I didnt spend money on.

Guys I honestly want to know if this is a general problem or is it just me. ALWAYS meeting poor women, even now that I am looking for a wife, still meeting heavy demanders that I cant settle with. GOD HELP ME OUT. AMEN.

Elder001:
Why should your girlfriend even cook or wash your clothes? even in marriage washing your clothes isn't anyone's duty.. cooking should be shared because she's not a slave.

now to your giving phase :I think money should only be spent in a relationship when you two are going for a date or you wanna get gifts for her ( I mean birthday gifts and Christmas gifts).

Then asking for money outside those stuffs, you shouldn't give her unless it's a very serious thing or she wanna use the money for a useful thing I. e business not useless stuffs like clothes, phones and weaves etc(she should get them by herself)

dyydxx:
what is slavish about my gf cooking and washing my clothes? you people have come again with all these yankee & janded rules of life that will get no one no where ..anyway each to his own. My gf cooks and cleans up for me well and i so much adore and respect her.

The Key in all these is reasonability, sensibility, understanding and sacrifice. Is the girl in question GREEDY?, GREED is the watchword. Once you detect it in any girl just run away and never look back. Greed also manifests in a lack of contentment. Before she got a job, she was demanding but i didn't complain,she's my gf and she's looking up to me I won't let her down. she gets me things too, it's not one sided and anything i feel is excessive or can't meet will just post her. She too gets the message and is very co-operative, supportive and submissive. we talk things out together and we share what we have together.

It all depends on the dynamics of the relationship

Elder001:
Some guys will say "as a man it's your duty to take care of your woman"

as a man my ass... is a girlfriend your woman?
the same ladies that are claiming equal rights with us abi?

any lady that'll say men aren't superior to women on nairaland.. I swear I'll tell her terrible words that can make her to attempt suicide.


Y'all should just accept men are kings and we can't and will never be equal.

hify9935:
Lol. This man dey para o...and you mentioned you've never dated a leech? You sure about that? I don't understand why you're pained like this. Was almost passing by but I just had to change my mind. Not every woman is a leech,at least u already attested to that. My own problem is,there are still men like u out there who tax ladies, what can u say about that? I've had this discussion with a close buddy and she was lamenting about how a guy asked her for money to secure a contract, another one was asking for #500 recharge card. Still no lady has come out here to start downgrading u men the way u do to ladies. This is a two way thing, no gender is exempted biko! Sadly, most of those men looking for rich ladies too will tax them later on.

franchasng:
That is it! I have this average buoyant handsome friend who was dating a very pretty lady working in a big firm where she earned around 250k per month salary and drove Toyota Corolla 2006. This my guy is a bit loaded, but he broke up with the girl, why

Ladies really need to be careful mhen, this lady just threw a golden opportunity to spend her life with an amazing successful young man who don't chase ladies around despite his success.

She demanded for my guy, her boyfriend abi fiance to change her car for her, that is he not ashamed that she is still driving this old model car, 2006 car, old model car Ah, our ladies get mind i swear

My guy said the first day she said this, he took it as a joke, not until a day they had mild disagreement and she repeated it in a louder way hehe.....and that was the bullet that killed the hero

Out of my mumu pity pity mind, I was even pleading on the girl's behalf for him to forgive her and give her a second chance, but my guy told me that if I know what he knows about this relationship that he doesn't tell us, that I will advice him to end it now!

He later revealed to me how this lady that earns 250k o keep demanding for this and that....maybe she was the one taking care of her entire lineage sha cos she's the first daughter, but even at that....she ought to have exercised restraint, and the guy is now married to a wonderful lady, prettier and will I say richer than his ex, life sha...guys open your eyes o, no enter gutter with your two eyes open, our world has changed....every family now should be funded by the husband and the wife for a stable family in case one dies or becomes incapacitated tomorrow, u never can tell

Elder001:
No time for long talks
just accept y'all aren't equal to men. when it comes to financial responsibility you won't see feminists but when it comes to other stuffs they'll start dragging rights.

as for your post; listen carefully, guys don't tax ladies.
except the love is real because only ladies that truly love you can give you money.

fancy4eve:
Neva said been dependent is a good idea, only said guys should stop tagging gals broke,dey shouldn't make ladies look cheap, if ur gal frwnd is dependent doesn't mean ladies in general are. Am not dependent nd cn Neva encourage anyone 2 b. I got ur point ohk. Dat mention was a reply 2 wat sumone said. Tanx

darkelf:
Seeing these posts reminds me of how lucky I am.

My girlfriend even takes me out on all expense paid dates.

God bless my Vicky for me

darkelf:
Seeing these posts reminds me of how lucky I am.

My girlfriend even takes me out on all expense paid dates.

God bless my Vicky for me

Izen:
First, let's get this out of the way - It's unrealistic to date someone that won't be comfortable enough to ask you for something without feeling judged. Naturally, you would want to give to someone you love.

That said, I feel you've been an enabler in this situation. A lot of ladies have the mindset that money is the only thing a Nigerian man can offer them and they may not be totally wrong. So if they're going to cook for you, clean up after you, do all kinds of stuff for you, they must get something in return. Trying to get our men to offer anything besides money in a relationship is as difficult as difficult can get. You might want to say but what do women offer too? Well, if you don't have expectations from your girlfriend such as, cook when they visit, wash your clothes, etc, then you might have a point. But if you do, well that's what they have to offer you. I know you want to say "I can do all these things by myself" but then you're not doing them by yourself and you will judge them if they don't do it for you.

Another reason why I think you might be an enabler is that a lot of men want to stamp their foot early on in a relationship to show who is in charge. We all know money speaks and it gives bargaining power to the holder. Subconsciously, a lot of men show off that they're more than capable and as such deserve respect. In turn, the ladies in their lives interpret that as them having a lot of money to throw around.

What to do;
1. Build your confidence in such a way that even without money, your woman will respect you still.
A trick is to respect your woman too, it works magic.
2. Be ready to offer something besides finances that will make your woman more than grateful.
E.g. she's got exams, stay up with her to revise her books, get her a cup of tea while at it. Little things like this go a long way, and it shows you care about her progress.

Moving on, while it is wrong for anyone to blackmail you emotionally to spend on them, being overtly stingy too is a red flag. If you're dating, it means there's a likelihood of you settling down together. No woman on earth will knowingly marry someone she has to plead with before the children's wardrobe are changed or school fees are paid. Giving is a habit that doesn't suddenly develop when you get married.

Finally, you may be looking in the wrong direction. A lot of men want "wife material". Naturally, any woman comfortable enough to be a wife material in the Nigerian context will also expect her man to be husband material in the Nigerian context, aka sole provider. If you feel strongly about the women in your life being demanding, then you might also have to change your expectations of them. I know a lot of ladies that will rather drop on their heads than ask their man for money. Because they're very concerned about being financially independent, the last thing on their minds will be trying to be a wife material.

Basically, any decision you make has it's pros and cons. So decide which is more important to you. We can't always eat our cake and have it.

Kelvinkipler:
Change your hangout locations and stop focussing on flaunting your wealth or success...just saying

sweetv:
teach them how to catch a fish,Dont only give them fish......tell and teach dem the excess of hardworking, some are ignorant of der lazy self....if the reason a gal nids a relationship is for money,den dey nid a job,if a guy also embark because of sex,u nid a deliverance...... focus on how to make money and Knw wat u nid in a woman, stop changing woman,meet d requirement for a good woman, thanks

Elder001:
submissive my ass.

please don't quote me next time.

hify9935:
thank u...they won't stop generalising and they will never agree some men like them are leeches too.

fancy4eve:
car is not an asset my dear frwnd, rather it is a liability. Rather go for an asset dat cn easily appreciate not wasting my tym on tins dat does not add value 2 my lyf. Tanx 4 d insult anyway

hify9935:
Lol. This man dey para o...and you mentioned you've never dated a leech? You sure about that? I don't understand why you're pained like this. Was almost passing by but I just had to change my mind. Not every woman is a leech,at least u already attested to that. My own problem is,there are still men like u out there who tax ladies, what can u say about that? I've had this discussion with a close buddy and she was lamenting about how a guy asked her for money to secure a contract, another one was asking for #500 recharge card. Still no lady has come out here to start downgrading u men the way u do to ladies. This is a two way thing, no gender is exempted biko! Sadly, most of those men looking for rich ladies too will tax them later on.