₦airaland Forum

op

I am man and even I have learnt from your story

You didn't follow your instinct on most occasions and when you did, you didn't give a chance for second thoughts. You were either in or out.

Wishing you all the best in your search

millomaniac:
If you are in nigeria chances are really slim unless you are rich. Just be positive don't give it too much attention so you don't appear kinda desperate and be taken advantage of. Just be positive, happy and live your life while leaving your doors open. If it will happen it's sure gonna happen. Cheers. Marriage is not about love well not entirely if you and the father of your daughter understand each other. You should go give him a chance.

I'm not in Nigeria...I'm Ivorian (but I got my honorary Nigerian citizenship because I have lot of Nigerian friends and I love your cultures )
I was born and raised in Ivory Coast and now I live in France. All my ex are Ivorian too. From what I see, Ivorian are just French speaking Nigerians. Every thing else is the same

I thought my baby daddy was my only option too so even after all he did to me, I was still considering taking him back. My red line tho is I can't accept to be his booty call. if he wants me as his wife or even as the woman he lives with, why not but apparently he wants us to live our separate lives, get together when he wants/needs it and move on. he surely thinks he's my only option two BTW

40 with no family of your own suggests that the problem is you. You just have a thing about you that attracts useless men. Is the way you dress? The impression you give men? Your attitude to life? Have a look at yourself mama.

LivingFree:
I'm officially depressed

Op... all you? Every possible cliché, finished

sadly yes... can't make this up

Gcpc:
Yes, if my experience can help any young lady out there, here is my take on it. This will be a long a$$ post (sorry). Forgive my syntax, English is not my first langage. So only for those interested:

IMO I made 3 major mistakes:

1- I waited too long to enter the dating scene. I thought I had to compartmentalize : finish school, get a job, than find a man. I kept pushing away suitors, probably good ones in my 20s because I didn't want any distraction from getting that big flashy degree I wanted. The truth is finding a good match is like anything else. it takes practice. you need to date, to get out there, fall in love, get your heart broken, learn how to act in a relationship, kiss a few frogs in order to find that special person. I'm not talking about sleeping around but dating.
I did not, so when I started a relationship I was clueless and awkward at an age I was not supposed to be. Plus, those college years are your best shot at finding Mr. right. You have a very good social network and the dating pool is endless. Most of my GF met their husbands in college

2- I thought being a successful career women with money, being smart, modest and reserved would land me tones of good suitors.Turns out I was wrong. Most of my GF who made "good" marriages are unemployed, dropped out of college or have low profile jobs. They are very good looking and are very feminine in their demeanor. Most of them are happily married with lot of kids. Me on the other hand, once I left college, I realized most men my age were in relationships. I was working so I didn't have much time to socialize and meet new people. The guys I met were afraid of me because of my job and the kind of money I was making. I guess they thought I had to be bossy or not submissive enough or too much to deal with...

3- I lingered in bad relationships even when I knew deep down it wasn't working.I would tell myself that "everyone has flows" and accept behaviors that I should not have accepted. I thought I would eventually change the guy (how silly right ?). Finally I allowed men to string me along.
I've been in 3 relationships.

The first one was a guy I was so much in love with. He was out of college and unemployed when we started dating. I knew from the get go that he had at least one other woman in is life. I let people convinced me that I could not find any really single guy and that the rule of the game was to get with a guy, be the best girlfriend and get chosen. So for 3 years I waited for him to choose me. I helped him financially until he got a government job and he made me believe he was about to propose. Then one day I got confronted in his house while he was out; the girl tracked us to make sure I was there alone, came and told me she was pregnant for him. I was devastated. I left and he tried to win me back, to apologized etc. He told me she was not pregnant . I was about to cave when HE ghosted me, out of the blue... I later found out that this girl and I were both side chicks. He married his long time girlfriend and had a baby with her. Mind you I was a 100% blindsided. He introduced me to his entire family. His sisters would call me "wifey"; I thought I was the "main girl" and I was OK with that. No woman should never be OK with being 1 among many.

I was still recovering from this mess when a friend set me up for a blind date. I told him I wanted to meet a christian guy with strong religious values. We hit it off at the first date. He was a bit older and mature. he seemed too good to be true. I had this little voice inside me telling me to get out. I didn't listen to my own instinct. He was so pushy and moving so fast that within 6 months we were engaged, getting married in the next month and moving in together. I moved in after our parents met and his family gave mine the traditional dowry. One day my computer just crashed; I had to borrow his. That's when I found out he had multiple accounts set in gay dating sites. I confronted him, he denied but I called of the engagement off and moved out

All this time I was friend with my baby's father. We met at an alumni reunion. We attended the same business school but not the same years.
At the time he hit on me, I told him I had someone so we became "friends". after my breakup. I was a mess and he was there for me. I was not interested in him, not attracted at all but he kept pursuing me for so long that eventually, I convinced myself that he had to be genuinely into me to be that persistent. My GF told me that sometimes you fall in love while dating so I decided to give it a shot. It was terrible. We kept fighting and arguing for everything; I knew I had to break up but I was scared to be alone and I was 33 by the time I realized it was never going to work. I wanted children so I thought it was too late for me to start over with someone new. I thought I would have to settle for this half baked relationship so I decided to cave to all his demands and be the woman he wanted so we could take it to the next level. he kept promising to do just that. He was stringing me along. eventually he told me we should start trying for a baby and that we would get married afterward. Now I know he said that just as another way of stringing me because I found out that I had fertility issues. So he probably thought I would never get pregnant anyway. So when I did he was mad, pressured me to get an abortion and finally left me when I refused.
He went Mia during my pregnancy and until the baby was 6 month. I had to take him to court before he came to see the baby and put his name on her birth certificate. It took 6 more months for him to start paying child support.
He sees her once a month and every time he comes, he tries to sleep with me. I finally told him that if he wanted us back together he had to make it right this time. He had to go to my parents and make it official.
He said he's not ready for that and told me 2 days ago he would not be arround much in the coming weeks...


So now here I am, in the sunken place, trying to get out of my pity party.

wow.

Gcpc:
I'm not in Nigeria...I'm Ivorian (but I got my honorary Nigerian citizenship because I have lot of Nigerian friends and I love your cultures )
I was born and raised in Ivory Coast and now I live in France. All my ex are Ivorian too. From what I see, Ivorian are just French speaking Nigerians. Every thing else is the same

I thought my baby daddy was my only option too so even after all he did to me, I was still considering taking him back. My red line tho is I can't accept to be his booty call. if he wants me as his wife or even as the woman he lives with, why not but apparently he wants us to live our separate lives, get together when he wants/needs it and move on. he surely thinks he's my only option two BTW

Lol, the bolded cracked me up. Anyway I am a man and from what you said regarding the father I can boldly say he is not ready to get married to you. Men are like that when they don't want you, i think the only reason you guys are still in contact is your daughter.
In Europe such things matter but not like in Africa. just be a happy person people, are generally drawn to positivity. All the best

Gcpc:
sadly yes... can't make this up

Have you ever tried just enjoying life, just being

briandaman:
40 with no family of your own suggests that the problem is you. You just have a thing about you that attracts useless men. Is the way you dress? The impression you give men? Your attitude to life? Have a look at yourself mama.

Believe me, I've been doing that for a while now. I wrote a very long post were I list the 3 major reasons why I ended up in this situation.
I will add one, a more profound one. For a very long time I WAS the one afraid of commitment. I kept postponing starting dating and when I finally did, I picked guys mostly on "who's ticking most of the boxes" rather than "who makes my heart beat faster"; I entered "reasonable" but not so much "loving" relationships; if I have to shrink myself I would say this is probably due to my parent's horrible, miserable, abusive marriage. I grew up witnessing how miserable they were together and not knowing how a loving couple is supposed to work

I don't blame them tho, they did the best they could and sticked together for us, the kids

Sigh!

funkyjms:
Sigh!

*passes him a cold beer*

I've never seen an ivorian woman. How do they look. Are they as hot as south African women?

Gcpc:
Yes, if my experience can help any young lady out there, here is my take on it. This will be a long a$$ post (sorry). Forgive my syntax, English is not my first langage. So only for those interested:

IMO I made 3 major mistakes:

1- I waited too long to enter the dating scene. I thought I had to compartmentalize : finish school, get a job, than find a man. I kept pushing away suitors, probably good ones in my 20s because I didn't want any distraction from getting that big flashy degree I wanted. The truth is finding a good match is like anything else. it takes practice. you need to date, to get out there, fall in love, get your heart broken, learn how to act in a relationship, kiss a few frogs in order to find that special person. I'm not talking about sleeping around but dating.
I did not, so when I started a relationship I was clueless and awkward at an age I was not supposed to be. Plus, those college years are your best shot at finding Mr. right. You have a very good social network and the dating pool is endless. Most of my GF met their husbands in college

2- I thought being a successful career women with money, being smart, modest and reserved would land me tones of good suitors.Turns out I was wrong. Most of my GF who made "good" marriages are unemployed, dropped out of college or have low profile jobs. They are very good looking and are very feminine in their demeanor. Most of them are happily married with lot of kids. Me on the other hand, once I left college, I realized most men my age were in relationships. I was working so I didn't have much time to socialize and meet new people. The guys I met were afraid of me because of my job and the kind of money I was making. I guess they thought I had to be bossy or not submissive enough or too much to deal with...

3- I lingered in bad relationships even when I knew deep down it wasn't working.I would tell myself that "everyone has flows" and accept behaviors that I should not have accepted. I thought I would eventually change the guy (how silly right ?). Finally I allowed men to string me along.
I've been in 3 relationships.

The first one was a guy I was so much in love with. He was out of college and unemployed when we started dating. I knew from the get go that he had at least one other woman in is life. I let people convinced me that I could not find any really single guy and that the rule of the game was to get with a guy, be the best girlfriend and get chosen. So for 3 years I waited for him to choose me. I helped him financially until he got a government job and he made me believe he was about to propose. Then one day I got confronted in his house while he was out; the girl tracked us to make sure I was there alone, came and told me she was pregnant for him. I was devastated. I left and he tried to win me back, to apologized etc. He told me she was not pregnant . I was about to cave when HE ghosted me, out of the blue... I later found out that this girl and I were both side chicks. He married his long time girlfriend and had a baby with her. Mind you I was a 100% blindsided. He introduced me to his entire family. His sisters would call me "wifey"; I thought I was the "main girl" and I was OK with that. No woman should never be OK with being 1 among many.

I was still recovering from this mess when a friend set me up for a blind date. I told him I wanted to meet a christian guy with strong religious values. We hit it off at the first date. He was a bit older and mature. he seemed too good to be true. I had this little voice inside me telling me to get out. I didn't listen to my own instinct. He was so pushy and moving so fast that within 6 months we were engaged, getting married in the next month and moving in together. I moved in after our parents met and his family gave mine the traditional dowry. One day my computer just crashed; I had to borrow his. That's when I found out he had multiple accounts set in gay dating sites. I confronted him, he denied but I called of the engagement off and moved out

All this time I was friend with my baby's father. We met at an alumni reunion. We attended the same business school but not the same years.
At the time he hit on me, I told him I had someone so we became "friends". after my breakup. I was a mess and he was there for me. I was not interested in him, not attracted at all but he kept pursuing me for so long that eventually, I convinced myself that he had to be genuinely into me to be that persistent. My GF told me that sometimes you fall in love while dating so I decided to give it a shot. It was terrible. We kept fighting and arguing for everything; I knew I had to break up but I was scared to be alone and I was 33 by the time I realized it was never going to work. I wanted children so I thought it was too late for me to start over with someone new. I thought I would have to settle for this half baked relationship so I decided to cave to all his demands and be the woman he wanted so we could take it to the next level. he kept promising to do just that. He was stringing me along. eventually he told me we should start trying for a baby and that we would get married afterward. Now I know he said that just as another way of stringing me because I found out that I had fertility issues. So he probably thought I would never get pregnant anyway. So when I did he was mad, pressured me to get an abortion and finally left me when I refused.
He went Mia during my pregnancy and until the baby was 6 month. I had to take him to court before he came to see the baby and put his name on her birth certificate. It took 6 more months for him to start paying child support.
He sees her once a month and every time he comes, he tries to sleep with me. I finally told him that if he wanted us back together he had to make it right this time. He had to go to my parents and make it official.
He said he's not ready for that and told me 2 days ago he would not be arround much in the coming weeks...


So now here I am, in the sunken place, trying to get out of my pity party.

I'm not up to the age of marriage but I can be a sugar boy.. need my contact
let's talk

Jeremy123:
I'm not up to the age of marriage but I can be a sugar boy.. need my contact
let's talk

leave old women alone boy

LivingFree:
*passes him a cold beer*

Thank you LivingFree.
You know it's just so touching that one would wish there's an undo button for every "wrong" action.

Gcpc:
sadly yes... can't make this up

I have a man who can help you... ?

If true then u are on the wrong site. Na preek dey hungry u

Gcpc:
Believe me, I've been doing that for a while now. I wrote a very long post were I list the 3 major reasons why I ended up in this situation.
I will add one, a more profound one. For a very long time I WAS the one afraid of commitment. I kept postponing starting dating and when I finally did, I picked guys mostly on "who's ticking most of the boxes" rather than "who makes my heart beat faster"; I entered "reasonable" but not so much "loving" relationships; if I have to shrink myself I would say this is probably due to my parent's horrible, miserable, abusive marriage. I grew up witnessing how miserable they were together and not knowing how a loving couple is supposed to work

I don't blame them tho, they did the best they could and sticked together for us, the kids

I must commend your courage. You are really strong. what you just posted happens to a considerable percentage of the women in nigeria. In your other thread, you commented that you still had feelings for your baby daddy. It might be difficult nursing those feelings while searching for a man! You have to make a choice. Either you stick with him or end whatever you have with him and move on.

At this point, i can only imagine how you feel but i advise you to be strong. Having done well for yourself,being a single mum is not a disadvantage.As a matter of fact some guys and/or men prefer single moms. Continue to look good,dont put off that date and give yourself one more chance.

My 2 cents

Gcpc:
Yes, if my experience can help any young lady out there, here is my take on it. This will be a long a$$ post (sorry). Forgive my syntax, English is not my first langage. So only for those interested:

IMO I made 3 major mistakes:

1- I waited too long to enter the dating scene. I thought I had to compartmentalize : finish school, get a job, than find a man. I kept pushing away suitors, probably good ones in my 20s because I didn't want any distraction from getting that big flashy degree I wanted. The truth is finding a good match is like anything else. it takes practice. you need to date, to get out there, fall in love, get your heart broken, learn how to act in a relationship, kiss a few frogs in order to find that special person. I'm not talking about sleeping around but dating.
I did not, so when I started a relationship I was clueless and awkward at an age I was not supposed to be. Plus, those college years are your best shot at finding Mr. right. You have a very good social network and the dating pool is endless. Most of my GF met their husbands in college

2- I thought being a successful career women with money, being smart, modest and reserved would land me tones of good suitors.Turns out I was wrong. Most of my GF who made "good" marriages are unemployed, dropped out of college or have low profile jobs. They are very good looking and are very feminine in their demeanor. Most of them are happily married with lot of kids. Me on the other hand, once I left college, I realized most men my age were in relationships. I was working so I didn't have much time to socialize and meet new people. The guys I met were afraid of me because of my job and the kind of money I was making. I guess they thought I had to be bossy or not submissive enough or too much to deal with...

3- I lingered in bad relationships even when I knew deep down it wasn't working.I would tell myself that "everyone has flows" and accept behaviors that I should not have accepted. I thought I would eventually change the guy (how silly right ?). Finally I allowed men to string me along.
I've been in 3 relationships.

The first one was a guy I was so much in love with. He was out of college and unemployed when we started dating. I knew from the get go that he had at least one other woman in is life. I let people convinced me that I could not find any really single guy and that the rule of the game was to get with a guy, be the best girlfriend and get chosen. So for 3 years I waited for him to choose me. I helped him financially until he got a government job and he made me believe he was about to propose. Then one day I got confronted in his house while he was out; the girl tracked us to make sure I was there alone, came and told me she was pregnant for him. I was devastated. I left and he tried to win me back, to apologized etc. He told me she was not pregnant . I was about to cave when HE ghosted me, out of the blue... I later found out that this girl and I were both side chicks. He married his long time girlfriend and had a baby with her. Mind you I was a 100% blindsided. He introduced me to his entire family. His sisters would call me "wifey"; I thought I was the "main girl" and I was OK with that. No woman should never be OK with being 1 among many.

I was still recovering from this mess when a friend set me up for a blind date. I told him I wanted to meet a christian guy with strong religious values. We hit it off at the first date. He was a bit older and mature. he seemed too good to be true. I had this little voice inside me telling me to get out. I didn't listen to my own instinct. He was so pushy and moving so fast that within 6 months we were engaged, getting married in the next month and moving in together. I moved in after our parents met and his family gave mine the traditional dowry. One day my computer just crashed; I had to borrow his. That's when I found out he had multiple accounts set in gay dating sites. I confronted him, he denied but I called of the engagement off and moved out

All this time I was friend with my baby's father. We met at an alumni reunion. We attended the same business school but not the same years.
At the time he hit on me, I told him I had someone so we became "friends". after my breakup. I was a mess and he was there for me. I was not interested in him, not attracted at all but he kept pursuing me for so long that eventually, I convinced myself that he had to be genuinely into me to be that persistent. My GF told me that sometimes you fall in love while dating so I decided to give it a shot. It was terrible. We kept fighting and arguing for everything; I knew I had to break up but I was scared to be alone and I was 33 by the time I realized it was never going to work. I wanted children so I thought it was too late for me to start over with someone new. I thought I would have to settle for this half baked relationship so I decided to cave to all his demands and be the woman he wanted so we could take it to the next level. he kept promising to do just that. He was stringing me along. eventually he told me we should start trying for a baby and that we would get married afterward. Now I know he said that just as another way of stringing me because I found out that I had fertility issues. So he probably thought I would never get pregnant anyway. So when I did he was mad, pressured me to get an abortion and finally left me when I refused.
He went Mia during my pregnancy and until the baby was 6 month. I had to take him to court before he came to see the baby and put his name on her birth certificate. It took 6 more months for him to start paying child support.
He sees her once a month and every time he comes, he tries to sleep with me. I finally told him that if he wanted us back together he had to make it right this time. He had to go to my parents and make it official.
He said he's not ready for that and told me 2 days ago he would not be arround much in the coming weeks...


So now here I am, in the sunken place, trying to get out of my pity party.

That was quite intriguing, though devastating....Earlier I thought you were just like some girls that were pompous and disrespectful outta ignorance while younger, I realized you were just unfortunate in life after reading this....It doesn't mean you will remain unlucky forever,, I believe in a better tomorrow and it has always been favoring me till date....I don't know if you are a religious person, buh I am, I will first suggest you table the matter before your Creator.....Judging by your explanation concerning the father of your child, he is by no means "A REAL MAN," don't commit your future into his hands outta being desperate or you risk being miserable and regretful the rest of your life..... If I can be able to picture myself with someone I love to the moon and back,, with a child that isn't mine, I soundly and strongly believe someone nice will come to you....Forget abou the hurtful events of the past and look forward to a better tomorrow,, for darkness and sadness endures for the night,, joy and the sun comes in the morning....Best of luck dear.

Gcpc:
Yes, if my experience can help any young lady out there, here is my take on it. This will be a long a$$ post (sorry). Forgive my syntax, English is not my first langage. So only for those interested:

IMO I made 3 major mistakes:

1- I waited too long to enter the dating scene. I thought I had to compartmentalize : finish school, get a job, than find a man. I kept pushing away suitors, probably good ones in my 20s because I didn't want any distraction from getting that big flashy degree I wanted. The truth is finding a good match is like anything else. it takes practice. you need to date, to get out there, fall in love, get your heart broken, learn how to act in a relationship, kiss a few frogs in order to find that special person. I'm not talking about sleeping around but dating.
I did not, so when I started a relationship I was clueless and awkward at an age I was not supposed to be. Plus, those college years are your best shot at finding Mr. right. You have a very good social network and the dating pool is endless. Most of my GF met their husbands in college

2- I thought being a successful career women with money, being smart, modest and reserved would land me tones of good suitors.Turns out I was wrong. Most of my GF who made "good" marriages are unemployed, dropped out of college or have low profile jobs. They are very good looking and are very feminine in their demeanor. Most of them are happily married with lot of kids. Me on the other hand, once I left college, I realized most men my age were in relationships. I was working so I didn't have much time to socialize and meet new people. The guys I met were afraid of me because of my job and the kind of money I was making. I guess they thought I had to be bossy or not submissive enough or too much to deal with...

3- I lingered in bad relationships even when I knew deep down it wasn't working.I would tell myself that "everyone has flows" and accept behaviors that I should not have accepted. I thought I would eventually change the guy (how silly right ?). Finally I allowed men to string me along.
I've been in 3 relationships.

The first one was a guy I was so much in love with. He was out of college and unemployed when we started dating. I knew from the get go that he had at least one other woman in is life. I let people convinced me that I could not find any really single guy and that the rule of the game was to get with a guy, be the best girlfriend and get chosen. So for 3 years I waited for him to choose me. I helped him financially until he got a government job and he made me believe he was about to propose. Then one day I got confronted in his house while he was out; the girl tracked us to make sure I was there alone, came and told me she was pregnant for him. I was devastated. I left and he tried to win me back, to apologized etc. He told me she was not pregnant . I was about to cave when HE ghosted me, out of the blue... I later found out that this girl and I were both side chicks. He married his long time girlfriend and had a baby with her. Mind you I was a 100% blindsided. He introduced me to his entire family. His sisters would call me "wifey"; I thought I was the "main girl" and I was OK with that. No woman should never be OK with being 1 among many.

I was still recovering from this mess when a friend set me up for a blind date. I told him I wanted to meet a christian guy with strong religious values. We hit it off at the first date. He was a bit older and mature. he seemed too good to be true. I had this little voice inside me telling me to get out. I didn't listen to my own instinct. He was so pushy and moving so fast that within 6 months we were engaged, getting married in the next month and moving in together. I moved in after our parents met and his family gave mine the traditional dowry. One day my computer just crashed; I had to borrow his. That's when I found out he had multiple accounts set in gay dating sites. I confronted him, he denied but I called of the engagement off and moved out

All this time I was friend with my baby's father. We met at an alumni reunion. We attended the same business school but not the same years.
At the time he hit on me, I told him I had someone so we became "friends". after my breakup. I was a mess and he was there for me. I was not interested in him, not attracted at all but he kept pursuing me for so long that eventually, I convinced myself that he had to be genuinely into me to be that persistent. My GF told me that sometimes you fall in love while dating so I decided to give it a shot. It was terrible. We kept fighting and arguing for everything; I knew I had to break up but I was scared to be alone and I was 33 by the time I realized it was never going to work. I wanted children so I thought it was too late for me to start over with someone new. I thought I would have to settle for this half baked relationship so I decided to cave to all his demands and be the woman he wanted so we could take it to the next level. he kept promising to do just that. He was stringing me along. eventually he told me we should start trying for a baby and that we would get married afterward. Now I know he said that just as another way of stringing me because I found out that I had fertility issues. So he probably thought I would never get pregnant anyway. So when I did he was mad, pressured me to get an abortion and finally left me when I refused.
He went Mia during my pregnancy and until the baby was 6 month. I had to take him to court before he came to see the baby and put his name on her birth certificate. It took 6 more months for him to start paying child support.
He sees her once a month and every time he comes, he tries to sleep with me. I finally told him that if he wanted us back together he had to make it right this time. He had to go to my parents and make it official.
He said he's not ready for that and told me 2 days ago he would not be arround much in the coming weeks...


So now here I am, in the sunken place, trying to get out of my pity party.

What an experience...

But I think you'd be able to cope.

You sound very intelligent and obviously a well to do lady. Pls and pls, be careful who you contact here. Most are kids and outright players. Don't endanger ur live and ur daughters, pls. And for those guys dropping number as if na assurance, you guys also need to be careful as the poster might be a fluke and u end up somewhere in a strange country missing a liver, heart or kidney. No offense @poster.
That aside, being a mother is hard enough much more if in no serious relationship. But I ll advise u free ur mind cos men can read desperation from the moon. Why not try being a friend first, feel free and just date without the marriage threat. Take care of urself, look good and young, ensure ur skin glows in its colour.
Tis a good thing u are outgoing, also try mixing up. Don't shortchanged urself cos u wanna be hooked. Get a help for ur baby,remember to always have her time, love her well.
Real love comes when you're not looking,okay. Meghan should be an inspiration. Good luck.

QueenSuccubus:


Definitely there is but you have to be very careful as a lot of men will just take an advantage to you.. Don't be so desperate to look for the right guy.. Juz go with the flow and u better have a background check before taking him seriously..

Good luck..

Listen to this lady she is speaking from experience

Sparkle777:
You sound very intelligent and obviously a well to do lady. Pls and pls, be careful who you contact here. Most are kids and outright players. Don't endanger ur live and ur daughters, pls. And for those guys dropping number as if na assurance, you guys also need to be careful as the poster might be a fluke and u end up somewhere in a strange country missing a liver, heart or kidney. No offense @poster.
That aside, being a mother is hard enough much more if in no serious relationship. But I ll advise u free ur mind cos men can read desperation from the moon. Why not try being a friend first, feel free and just date without the marriage threat. Take care of urself, look good and young, ensure ur skin glows in its colour.
Tis a good thing u are outgoing, also try mixing up. Don't shortchanged urself cos u wanna be hooked. Get a help for ur baby,remember to always have her time, love her well.
Real love comes when you're not looking,okay. Meghan should be an inspiration. Good luck.

shut up your big mouth let the lady make up her own mind

Mhiztajoethe9ic:
reach me on 07039763685 .we could talk

dis one wan to chop free kpekus

lefulefu:
dis one wan to chop free kpekus

[color=darkblue] hehe free the guy joor nothing like free kepus, not even in free town[/color]

I can see some nice wife materials on this thread, time to send some PMs, ladies please be nice

Saviour22:
[color=darkblue] hehe free the guy joor nothing like free kepus, not even in free town[/color]

the way the guy jus wan hustle for the kpekus is a wah. Na im be the first person to post comment after the op. Na like dis dem dey take hustle for snail... Hmm na waoh.

Gcpc:
Hi all,

I'm a single mum to a 2.5 yo girl and I'm about to turn 39.
My baby's father is out of the picture. He bailed on me while pregnant and only came back after 2 years and me taking him to court.
Now he wants to "take things where we left them" but my understanding and gut feeling is he just wants free passes with me.

I made so many mistakes with my dating life that I find myself in this horrible position of being a single mother about to hit the big 4.

I have a great job, a career, enough money to be comfortable, a wonderful child, family and friends but I still feel lonely and depressed at times.
I neve envisioned this life for myself and never imagined never marrying.

I've been working on myself, working out, finding new hobbies, building up my self confidence but I don't know how in the world I would or could find a man.

Is there any chance someone like me could find a decent man to share my life with ?

The more you age the more you notice that your age group has settled down, are getting married and popping out babies.

It's a strange feeling. Almost like finding out that people that you went to school with have passed away somehow years ago. No one ever mentions these things or how uncomfortably lonely these sudden feelings are.

Not that it's the very same. It's quite overwhelming to find yourself realizing how far out of the social bubble you are with your age group and knowing for sure how most of them are married. Feeling that somehow you've lost your chance of ever finding someone.

The wonderful thing about today is that we live in an age that allows us to gather into focused groups. We will never be 100% alone as long as we search. Thank the internet gods.

If you feel a bit hopeless looking in your local area there are always online dating sites. Some even have apps for your phone.

I don't recommend online dating very much as it's difficult to find people who aren't just looking for a one night stand. But it's still absolutely possible to sift through that and find the right person.

If it's love that you're looking for try to avoid places like badoo, instachat and the likes, those are for kids and the likes. Some apps are notorious for booty calls (hook ups) and should probably be avoided if that's your goal. Or maybe you'll find love while having fun? Anything can happen.

40 doesn't mean a steadily but surely upcoming end to ever finding love. It just means you'll need to seek resources to help you out and that's okay! It will surprise you to learn how many other people in that age group are also seeking those resources.

The option to find love should never dwindle away no matter your age. Don't forget that and never give up hope. Be honest, patient and persistent in your search and you'll find it yet.

You're not alone. Good luck finding love and hopefully happiness.

Konjivities wan kill your man

lefulefu:
the way the guy jus wan hustle for the kpekus is a wah. Na im be the first person to post comment after the op. Na like dis dem dey take hustle for snail... Hmm na waoh.

DonPiiko:
Konjivities wan kill your man

How konjivities go wan kill a whole DonPiiko

The Don that always has a bevy of pretty damsels at his beck and call

Gcpc:
Hi all,

I'm a single mum to a 2.5 yo girl and I'm about to turn 39.
My baby's father is out of the picture. He bailed on me while pregnant and only came back after 2 years and me taking him to court.
Now he wants to "take things where we left them" but my understanding and gut feeling is he just wants free passes with me.

I made so many mistakes with my dating life that I find myself in this horrible position of being a single mother about to hit the big 4.

I have a great job, a career, enough money to be comfortable, a wonderful child, family and friends but I still feel lonely and depressed at times.
I neve envisioned this life for myself and never imagined never marrying.

I've been working on myself, working out, finding new hobbies, building up my self confidence but I don't know how in the world I would or could find a man.

Is there any chance someone like me could find a decent man to share my life with ?

Op, sorry to butt in your thread. But with the bolded, you've just opened yourself for fuckbois and gold diggers to take advantage of..
Guys are not smiling, there is great hunger in the land.

Mehn, you shouldn't have said u are comfortable, except all u want is just sex..

But if you want a stable relationship with a sincere man, don't talk about how comfortable u are, cos bad guys are ready to use and dump and collect your hard earned savings and dissapear. They don't give a hoot about your feelings.

Don't fall victim again second time, I know what am saying.

If you are the friendly type with a friendly face, u look sweet and homely then u talk with smiles to people around you?
Trust me getting a companion will not be hard and difficult.

Not here biko. . And that's the plain truth.

UDUJ:
How konjivities go wan kill a whole DonPiiko

The Don that always has a bevy of pretty damsels at his beck and call

Perhaps the ladies don wise up lol