₦airaland Forum

oloriLFC:
it doesnt even matter if the guy doesn't have a dime. does it mean she can only listen 2 him if he has money? a lot of us females get it wrong in relatnshps cos of li2 things. You dnt hav 2 be married 2 her b4 u can ask her questns, once u aren't too possessive and frm ur comments here, u are not. I guess d lady wanted her freedom and she now has it, no wahala. i just smh at some ladies sha

fumisko:
You right. Then he should go for the younger one that would say yes sir to every little thing.

So dear OP re-channel your attraction to ladies the age you would be able to head or lord over at least. But I doubt u Wld b able to work well with a mature lady that wants to be like a partner or sort of equals or sort of we are both in this together approach.

But truth is most times when u treat a GOOD lady like this, a good lady ba, she Wld naturally respect u, yes she may stil be stubborn once in a while because we are all humans and get naughty once in a while. But in general, she would be respectful, loyal and be there for u always.

1x2x3:
My dear I'm confused as to what she wants. When we started this relationship I gave her freedoms and I don't even worry if she wants to go anywhere then she started complaining that I don't care, that I don't even get jealous when she tells me a man is disturbing her....... We actually quarrel over it and settled. Now it's the very first time I objected and she went all out saying things. If she needed freedom I don't know why she complained initially about me giving her all the freedom.

makydebbie:
Don't mind such people or bother quoting them.

If I was a guy, I'll rather go for a single mum than someone who has done countless abortions. The joke is on them.

gidjah:
Are u sure she has no one else she is seeing ,this one she went to Abuja and suddenly became irrational and rude?I doubt if she hasn't been double dating bros,most of this single ladies have character problem o.you should have called at least two of her siblings by force immediately she disobeyed u by going to Abuja,u sef dull small guy,at your age, u need to start modifying you introvert nature,I am a teacher,a minister and a counselor yet a core introvert,pls start modification process ASAP,God bless U

MaziOmenuko:
Yea, we all criticising him are all single mothers. Like me that just quoted you.

You would prefer that everyone be a sheep and not use their brain.

Hector09:
u are mistaking cus i cant tolarate any lady

Tallesty1:
They're not the only available options ni. There are girls out there who are not baby mamas and have not done any abortion so we go for them instead.

You young ladies clearly don't understand the problems that are associated with marrying a single a parent.

Single parents tend to love the child they had for that other person more than the ones they will have with you because the see that child as a consolation for all the things s/he passed through in the hands of the other person

This creates division among children and causes frequent misunderstanding between the couple too.

I'm not generalizing though but we need to accept the reality.

1x2x3:
I'm sorry I'm saying this and it hurts my heart to agree with the warnings of marrying a single mother. I'm not the best writer but I will try to narrate my experience and findings.

First of all I would like to point out that there are very few single mothers who can make a good wife while majority of them will ruin you and make your life miserable if caution is not taken.

I've been dating a single mother of a 5 years old boy for about a year and half she is 30 and never been married. I wouldn't just jump into such relationship but for the fact she is someone I knew back in my School days however, we lost contact for about 10 years before we met again and I kind of understood the story she told me and the circumstances she had the child (Till date I didn't bother verifying her story of course I don't care).

We dated for about a year and she got talking with a few of my friends and sibling but the striking thing is she is yet to introduce me to any of her friends or siblings even though I knew she have many siblings and some friends (I did question her about this and she said she doesn't have someone she can really call a friend).

Looking at the kind of reserved life she lives I felt this could be normal but still something kept telling me there's more to these whole pretentious reserved life because I'm introverted and can easily figure out who's pretending to be one. Mind you, she is the church going type who prays and wants my well being yet I could still figure out there is something not clear thus my reason for taking my time to propose to her. This is actually not my fault as there is no way I can figure out who she is unless through someone close to her.

About 6 months ago a pastor that is yet to meet her in person told me that if I marry her I will end up divorcing but being the doubting Thomas type I gave no ear to whatever the pastor has to say until recently when something unfolded.

She lives 3 hrs drive away and comes visiting most of the weekend. Here is the major problem which I must admit I'm at fault but I thank God I was at fault because it paved way for the revelation. Throughout the time we've been dating I only visited her once which she complained about, I wasn't just too comfortable going there to spend time and do certain things (I didn't just find this right but I'm very much comfortable if she visits alone or with the kid). She complained a few times about me not visiting until 2 weeks ago she told me she was traveling to Abuja.
I inquired about her reasons of traveling and she said she needed to rest since she's on leave (Redflag). Her reasons didn't sound logical so I objected, I told her I wasn't comfortable with her traveling, she kept insisting and she jokingly said she will go and face the consequences when she returns. We talked about this for days and she eventually went against all odds and traveled.
On getting to Abuja she started acting funny like not taking calls or calling and when she finally returned my call I told her not to call me until she is back from her trip (I needed to avoid unnecessary worries)

She returned after 4 days and called knowing fully well we've got issues to thrash. She started complaining I don't give her attention as much as she wants (she seems not to be able to deal with my introverted person anymore). The ranting was becoming rude, sounding like a different person from whom I thought I knew. We got to a heated point I had to ask for any of her siblings number, she immediately became defensive and threatened that if I dare contact any of her siblings (7 of them) that I won't like the outcome . It occurred to me she isn't in good relationship with any of her siblings even though they talk sometimes. She just doesn't want me to contact anyone. Out of her rudeness I asked her if she is ready to be under a man since she has brought up marriage issues on few occasions. She said she isn't ready to tolerate bulllshitt of men afterall she has a child, marriage is about children and if things aren't working in a marriage everyone can find their way . The pastor's words occurred to me instantly. I took about 2 hours telling her how much she needs to adjust and understand she isn't supposed to tuzzle with a man else it will be hard for things to work in a home.

She said so many unimaginable things that it dawned to me she was pretending to be nice all these while. She said she wants a man that can take alll she does, I then asked her if she is ready to take all a man does she said no and I told her to look for a man and pay his groom price since she wants a man she can control.

Still scary to me she pretended all these while, going to church and acting very responsible hoping I marry her which I genuinely had intentions to but for the fact something kept telling me I needed more time to know her.

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

Guys make sure you scrutinize that single mother before you jump in. There's a reason she's single and in her 30's.
I found out she's not in good terms with her siblings because she doesn't like taking orders or listening to advice. They've talked to her about being rude and disrespectful but rather than listen she drew bad blood between her and all her siblings.

Nnemuka:
This op is yet to recover from heart break.
You will be in my prayers today...
The single mum will still remarry, she already told you to carry your patriarchy and get lost. Involving her family in little misunderstanding speaks volume of your kind of person.

Resolve issues with her without involving her people. Ordinary boyfriend, imagine what will happen if she marries your type. Little argument u may involve your community.
Now that you brought the issue here nko what did u achieve? Mtcheww

Netanyahu1:
Op. I understand the single mother aspect. I have come to realize that 80% of all single mothers have one of two problems. Its either that they are totally dull about everything in life to the extent that no man is interested in managing their intellectual deficiency, or they are outrightly wayward to the extent that no man wants to be a party to their stupid ideology about what a marital union should look like.

In your own case , however, you just dodged a bullet. As far as "Nigeria" is concerned , church is where you find the most useless and heartless con artists, starting from the pastor, therefore , the combination of a single mother you met in church is equal to natural disaster .

Again op. You just dodged a bullet. If I were you I will be dancing like David for this new life god has given you.I mean the real God and not the god of Nigerian pastors.

amajato:
Vacancy!!!

If you are a resident in Benin and ready to work in a British school, then send a pm.

Qualifications. HND, B.Sc, B.Ed, M.Ed, M.Sc.

1. English language
2. Physics
3. Chemistry
4. French
5. Edo language ( benin)
6. Phonetics

Note: you must be a computer literate and you must have your personal laptop with at least 2 years teaching experience

1x2x3:
If she's here she won't even be able to defend herself the way you did. I'm not a church goer and I don't listen to bulllshitt prophecies. The pastor told me randomly when I went to dropped off his church member. What am I to do when we hit a brick wall while arguing for days? Sometimes you get in someone who you know she respects.... She has done the same in the past when she offended me bitterly. She involved a friend of mine she talks to, now I need someone to talk to her but there is absolutely no one close to her

PearlStreet:
Single mothers and some pussy-niggers with a warped sense of reasoning.

ItzBIM:
Gay feminist spotted.

ItzBIM:
Bro this is so accurate. I’m a living witness. Men should ask themselves can they cope with their wife loving someone else’s child more that their own.

pedrilo:
stop posting dis nonsense everywhere.
Go make provisions for laptops that ur teachers will use. What a mushroom British sch.

justcallbuki:
she is hurting and needs help,help her if you so love her.........all what she said was out if annoyance.

mkoabiola:
This is isolated case



She has d attitude not cos she is/was a single mother but for who she is

YemiHadid:
Just be happy you saw her for who she was on time. It could have been worse. Imagine waking up one day to see a stranger knocking on your door demanding to see 'his child' or her frequent unexplained trips. And trust me, most single mothers will cheat on you with their baby daddy if the opportunity presents itself even if its years after the fact, forget what she says; quote me anyday. I just see no reason why i should bring extra drama into my life. Dating in this day and age is already strenous, what with feminism and all, talkless of single mama drama. Its a big No-no!

Xisnin:
Their is no tactics here, the op is the complainant! He needed validation to show that he is making the right decision.

MaziOmenuko:
Yea, she's your g/f, not your spouse. You don't demand for an explanation because you don't own her and she doesn't owe you one. You are dating a 30yr old and not a teenager. I am sure she won't sabotage the relstnship if she really sees it leading somewhere. Maybe, just maybe, she has realized you are wasting her time and she needs more commitment from someone ready to indulge.

Anyway, not trying to play the devil's advocate.... Make I dey mind my business shaa.

CecyAdrian:
See, first rule of relationship is, never ever involve a third party when having issues

CecyAdrian:
This story just doesn't click.

That lady has issues, trust issues especially and you did nothing to assure her of her place with you, reason why she mad those statements and even travelled despite you kicking against it.

That trust issue came from the mistakes she has made in the past and has an evidence of one that will forever be in her face. If you make a woman feel she is all you have got, a single mother for that matter, she won't pull the stunt she pulled.

You think you broke up with her, but she did with you the moment she started nursing going to Abuja (if it was a guy she went to visit) and started seeing you as a side piece.

You had a girl for you to concentrate on and assure her of your love fr her, but you were busy trying to dig up issues in her past through her family members and pastor, and you did! So, why disturb us here na