Xisnin:

Did I read a different story? It is the OP that is dominating the lady, you don't blame someone because you can't control them.

MyOpinion1:

of course not all guys are cool but there are still responsible ones who will do that.

Tallesty1:
True that and the single dad still has to be careful otherwise his other child will be a slave to the rest of the children.

openmine:

Its imperative that you read before commenting.....no pun intended!

Go through the Op's post and other subsequent posts,you will notice that she has been the one trying to control and manipulate him.....

Aside the said lady's trip to abuja which op objected due to the fact that she wasn't convincing enough,I don't see any place in his post where he was domineering or controlling....

And besides,is it wrong to ask a loved one where he or she is travelling to esp if it might be to the person's detriment?

In fact Op stated clearly that there were trips he wanted to make but was stopped by the same lady....or didn't you see where he stated that part?

As for my post bro/sis,I was only relating my own experience to OP's post which is very true about "domineering" ladies!

lefulefu:
single moms get their own for body abeg. Their own wahala plenty pass dat of a single girl. U have to contend that the baby daddy might still be banging her and dere's nothing u can do about it. If u want to correct her child if e do wrong dat one na another big wahala. She might not respect u..she might consider u an upstart since she don already get one or two pickins from different men. Single guys wey dey date single moms dey try oo.with d number of single girls around why not leave the single moms for d single dads to date. Easy tin to do so as to avoid double wahala.

TonyeBarcanista:

What makes them responsible? You mean sissies that don't know what they want and those that are easily manipulated?

openmine:

Its imperative that you read before commenting.....no pun intended!

Go through the Op's post and other subsequent posts,you will notice that she has been the one trying to control and manipulate him.....

Aside the said lady's trip to abuja which op objected due to the fact that she wasn't convincing enough,I don't see any place in his post where he was domineering or controlling....

And besides,is it wrong to ask a loved one where he or she is travelling to esp if it might be to the person's detriment?

In fact Op stated clearly that there were trips he wanted to make but was stopped by the same lady....or didn't you see where he stated that part?

As for my post bro/sis,I was only relating my own experience to OP's post which is very true about "domineering" ladies!

Xisnin:

He is the one trying to withold an adult's right to travel.


It is good to ask your kid where they are going because you know better but never try that with an adult, at least not one whose livelihood doesn't depend on following your orders. She doesn't have to convince him or any other person. I have no problem with him breaking up with her, his life his decisions. It is just the way he sounded like someone who just discovered a nobel winning invention and his poor attempt at blaming her and single mothers for the decision he took.



His first post clearly stated her major "flaws", which is that she travelled when he ordered her not to and she refused to give him her family members number. Every other thing was an afterthought.

It is one thing to say that he broke up with her because she is domineering, but entirely different thing to try to make the other party look bad because they allegedly sinned in the past. Is it so hard for the OP to tell the lady that she can't stop him from traveling?

I believe one can breakup for any reason even made up ones but one must also take responsibility for such decisions. Nobody was made to satisfy another person, if you don't like someone, move on, no whining, no generalisation, no victimising or sympathy-seeking.

1x2x3:
I'm sorry I'm saying this and it hurts my heart to agree with the warnings of marrying a single mother. I'm not the best writer but I will try to narrate my experience and findings.

First of all I would like to point out that there are very few single mothers who can make a good wife while majority of them will ruin you and make your life miserable if caution is not taken.

I've been dating a single mother of a 5 years old boy for about a year and half she is 30 and never been married. I wouldn't just jump into such relationship but for the fact she is someone I knew back in my School days however, we lost contact for about 10 years before we met again and I kind of understood the story she told me and the circumstances she had the child (Till date I didn't bother verifying her story of course I don't care).

We dated for about a year and she got talking with a few of my friends and sibling but the striking thing is she is yet to introduce me to any of her friends or siblings even though I knew she have many siblings and some friends (I did question her about this and she said she doesn't have someone she can really call a friend).

Looking at the kind of reserved life she lives I felt this could be normal but still something kept telling me there's more to these whole pretentious reserved life because I'm introverted and can easily figure out who's pretending to be one. Mind you, she is the church going type who prays and wants my well being yet I could still figure out there is something not clear thus my reason for taking my time to propose to her. This is actually not my fault as there is no way I can figure out who she is unless through someone close to her.

About 6 months ago a pastor that is yet to meet her in person told me that if I marry her I will end up divorcing but being the doubting Thomas type I gave no ear to whatever the pastor has to say until recently when something unfolded.

She lives 3 hrs drive away and comes visiting most of the weekend. Here is the major problem which I must admit I'm at fault but I thank God I was at fault because it paved way for the revelation. Throughout the time we've been dating I only visited her once which she complained about, I wasn't just too comfortable going there to spend time and do certain things (I didn't just find this right but I'm very much comfortable if she visits alone or with the kid). She complained a few times about me not visiting until 2 weeks ago she told me she was traveling to Abuja.
I inquired about her reasons of traveling and she said she needed to rest since she's on leave (Redflag). Her reasons didn't sound logical so I objected, I told her I wasn't comfortable with her traveling, she kept insisting and she jokingly said she will go and face the consequences when she returns. We talked about this for days and she eventually went against all odds and traveled.
On getting to Abuja she started acting funny like not taking calls or calling and when she finally returned my call I told her not to call me until she is back from her trip (I needed to avoid unnecessary worries)

She returned after 4 days and called knowing fully well we've got issues to thrash. She started complaining I don't give her attention as much as she wants (she seems not to be able to deal with my introverted person anymore). The ranting was becoming rude, sounding like a different person from whom I thought I knew. We got to a heated point I had to ask for any of her siblings number, she immediately became defensive and threatened that if I dare contact any of her siblings (7 of them) that I won't like the outcome . It occurred to me she isn't in good relationship with any of her siblings even though they talk sometimes. She just doesn't want me to contact anyone. Out of her rudeness I asked her if she is ready to be under a man since she has brought up marriage issues on few occasions. She said she isn't ready to tolerate bulllshitt of men afterall she has a child, marriage is about children and if things aren't working in a marriage everyone can find their way . The pastor's words occurred to me instantly. I took about 2 hours telling her how much she needs to adjust and understand she isn't supposed to tuzzle with a man else it will be hard for things to work in a home.

She said so many unimaginable things that it dawned to me she was pretending to be nice all these while. She said she wants a man that can take alll she does, I then asked her if she is ready to take all a man does she said no and I told her to look for a man and pay his groom price since she wants a man she can control.

Still scary to me she pretended all these while, going to church and acting very responsible hoping I marry her which I genuinely had intentions to but for the fact something kept telling me I needed more time to know her.

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

Guys make sure you scrutinize that single mother before you jump in. There's a reason she's single and in her 30's.
I found out she's not in good terms with her siblings because she doesn't like taking orders or listening to advice. They've talked to her about being rude and disrespectful but rather than listen she drew bad blood between her and all her siblings.

Netanyahu1:
Op. I understand the single mother aspect. I have come to realize that 80% of all single mothers have one of two problems. Its either that they are totally dull about everything in life to the extent that no man is interested in managing their intellectual deficiency, or they are outrightly wayward to the extent that no man wants to be a party to their stupid ideology about what a marital union should look like.

In your own case , however, you just dodged a bullet. As far as "Nigeria" is concerned , church is where you find the most useless and heartless con artists, starting from the pastor, therefore , the combination of a single mother you met in church is equal to natural disaster .

Again op. You just dodged a bullet. If I were you I will be dancing like David for this new life god has given you.I mean the real God and not the god of Nigerian pastors.

ZestAri:
I think most who keep the baby is because abortion is out of option already, perhaps due to certain implications. All things being normal and timely, she would have aborted the baby. So, stop talking trash. If you are right she decided to bring a child into the world, congratulations to her. She should bring in more as a single mom. Marriage is by choice after all.

HeWrites:



Make Ogun kii me iffa marry a Single

CecyAdrian:
On point!!!

The reason why many guys go for small girls is because they want to dominate without counter or questions

Xisnin:

He is the one trying to withold an adult's right to travel.

Xisnin:

It is good to ask your kid where they are going because you know better but never try that with an adult, at least not one whose livelihood doesn't depend on following your orders. She doesn't have to convince him or any other person. I have no problem with him breaking up with her, his life his decisions. It is just the way he sounded like someone who just discovered a nobel winning invention and his poor attempt at blaming her and single mothers for the decision he took.

Xisnin:

His first post clearly stated her major "flaws", which is that she travelled when he ordered her not to and she refused to give him her family members number. Every other thing was an afterthought.

It is one thing to say that he broke up with her because she is domineering, but entirely different thing to try to make the other party look bad because they allegedly sinned in the past. Is it so hard for the OP to tell the lady that she can't stop him from traveling?

I believe one can breakup for any reason even made up ones but one must also take responsibility for such decisions. Nobody was made to satisfy another person, if you don't like someone, move on, no whining, no generalisation, no victimising or sympathy-seeking.

lionphil:


Be careful what you pray for...I've heard of several instances where a girl had a baby at a tender age. The baby automatically becomes the family's last born. No one gets to know apart from immediate family members. In such a situation, you as the groom to be would also not know. *if OGUN FINALLY KILLS YOU AFTER YOU MISTAKENLY MARRY ONE I'M SORRY FOR YOU.

Originalsly:
..

MaziOmenuko:
Is it just me or is the story not just clicking? You had a misunderstanding with your g/f which is normal, so why all the fuss? Theirs no relationship that is perfect so why making a mountain out of a mole hill?

If you have been sceptical about the relationship, fine. But from what I read here, there's no reason to be apprehensive. She travelled as she said and came back like she said. She needed a time off, possibly from you. Have you ever considered the fact that she really needed that time off?

Abeg, make I no cone be joy kill. Make I mind my business

greyham:


If you like marry her. Na you sabi

MaziOmenuko:
Is it just me or is the story not just clicking? You had a misunderstanding with your g/f which is normal, so why all the fuss? Theirs no relationship that is perfect so why making a mountain out of a mole hill?

If you have been sceptical about the relationship, fine. But from what I read here, there's no reason to be apprehensive. She travelled as she said and came back like she said. She needed a time off, possibly from you. Have you ever considered the fact that she really needed that time off?

Abeg, make I no cone be joy kill. Make I mind my business

laluski:


My dear brother there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG in dating a single mum.they are human beings and are NOT perfect.single girls are even worse.
Single mums don't hide their characters for long cos DEM NO SEND.NO PRETENCE.she good...she good.simple
So if yours is OK in a lot of ways,by all means go ahead.like I said.they're NOT perfect.Good luck

HeWrites:



Make Ogun kii me iffa marry a Single Mother

livinbygrace:



I have dated many of them and can tell you that 90% of single mothers are not marriageable.Deal with it.

Ohidata:


Miss, I don't think we should castigate him just yet for trying to reach out to her family.

greyham:
There is EVERYTHING WRONG in dating a single mum. When you start catching feelings you open new thread on nairaland and I will be there to tell you the same thing. LEAVE SINGLE MUMS ALONE.

They can be your friend, but don't date them.

Your life, your choice.

livinbygrace:
I have dated many of them and can tell you that 90% of single mothers are not marriageable.Deal with it.

pedrilo:
u dnt marry because u want to help ur partner. That is pity induced marriage. Never ever do that ok

justcallbuki:

I'm married with children for years and I know what I'm saying.....BTW I don't need your advice.OK.....thanks bye!

Tallesty1:
That's not even totally safe because she could be the one that killed her husband.

Truth is, some single mother are victims of a men's wickedness. Y'know right that some wicked men do get girls pregnant and deny them so their being single mother may not be because they are rude, wicked or mannerless but because they were unlucky in love. I agree though that they're still difficult to love because they're hurting but they're good if you can prove to them(in actions) that you're not like the other guy(a very tough task though)