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Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by gr8tone: 11:36pm On Jul 04, 2018
mhd5757:
Hey nairalanders, what do you think? Is this normal? Marriage doesn't appeal to me at all same as having kids, I prefer having dogs even now i have 2 of them and as soon as I get a job and make enough money I plan on getting 3 more making them 5 in number. I know most people, the first thing they want to do as soon as they get a job is to get married and have kids but not me, I'm also not interested in having a girlfriend, though I used to have one back then when I was in the university but we were forced to leave each other being that she had to go back to her country and I had to come back to Nigeria.
After that I got another girl here in Nigeria, but I had to leave her because she was too expensive and she was draining me financially. After that, I just lost interest in relationships and I decided to be single, I decided that even if I feel the need to lay with a woman I can just go to an ashawo hotel or get a steady woman who I can be calling any time I need company. I think this is the lifestyle that suits me especially in this harsh economy, its easier for me. If I get married and have kids imagine all the money I'm going to have to be spending, excess groceries, all kinds of bills, school fees and the list goes on.
At least having a steady woman to call like maybe once a week can't be as expensive as getting married and supporting a wife.
Also having dogs can't be as expensive as raising kids, with dogs all I need to do is to buy their feed, their grooming products and pay for their medical bills and probably training fees too but with kids and a wife imagine all the bills, the lists keep compiling and they never end.
What is your take on this? What do you think?
But do you love sex?

2 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by chronique(m): 11:36pm On Jul 04, 2018
Lexusgs430:



You are simply going through a phase....... That phase would pass..... When it does, post an update.....

true. as at last year,i was making up my mind to do the baby mama thing,have a child and forget about marriage but right now,i waant none of that. i actually want the real deal. sometimes our frustration in getting certain things,makes us take rash stupid decisions. when the mind is settled,we begin to think like human beings.

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by akahi: 11:37pm On Jul 04, 2018
I don't think is normal . But... You are a thinking being though. shocked See my premises on www.akahinews.com or www.akahinews.com/tag/naija-news

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Austema(m): 11:38pm On Jul 04, 2018
Biglittlelois:
Imagine if your dad never met and married your mum, you wont exist, everyone has a destined partner yeah!!! if you go ahead with this, she may be wondering why she is not married!! i pray you meet her soon so that you'll become lovestruck tongue
I like you signature, is a great inspiration

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by freethinker01: 11:42pm On Jul 04, 2018
Biglittlelois:
Imagine if your dad never met and married your mum, you wont exist, everyone has a destined partner yeah!!! if you go ahead with this, she may be wondering why she is not married!! i pray you meet her soon so that you'll become lovestruck tongue
neither you nor he ever begged nor asked to be born. So he holds no responsibility nor obligation to give birth to anyone. Life is all about choices, so far he's willing to live with it damning what anyone thinks, totally fine. So what u typed is so cliched that it has no meaning anymore.
If u know, you know

29 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Talkwell: 11:43pm On Jul 04, 2018
milemimi93:


It is very normal not to marry or have kids. A lot of men are in this boat. I am in the same boat too.

Marriage is an institution programed to favor women.
Kids too are just a bunch of unecessary responsibilities.

I see people have more than two kids and am like wtf is this?

80% of the kids won't even know u when the grow up to become something in life.

That's when their ediotic wivies and girlfriends will tell them their dad is a wizard flee from him..

I came to the world to make a name and not to make kids


God bless you for this, you hit the nail on the head with the last line, i said this last week sef

6 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by milemimi93(m): 11:44pm On Jul 04, 2018
blackaxe78:


Bro, when you 60years old, come back here and give a testimony

y are most of y'all concern abt old age?

Haven't u seen people u have millions of kids who are well to do yet at old age they look like someone u dosn't have kids?

It is not assurance that all ur kids would look after u at old age.
They will abandon u if they want to or if they have bad wivies and there's noting u will do.

If u plan ur life well, with or without kids u can be fine at old age.

30 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by myke92(m): 11:45pm On Jul 04, 2018
HardMirror:
i am an atheist, anti establishment, dont give a fvck abt marriage, dont see the big deal in death or even dying young. Not on facebook, instagram or what else is out there (on twitter because of my biz). I just dont give a fvck where and when people expect me to.[/b]Life shld not be defined if you are willing to live with the consequences of your choices. Sincere people dare not to blend in. Blending in is an art of deceit. Be happy, be responsible for yourself

This is quite interesting.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Lexusgs430: 11:45pm On Jul 04, 2018
chronique:


true. as at last year,i was making up my mind to do the baby mama thing,have a child and forget about marriage but right now,i waant none of that. i actually want the real deal. sometimes our frustration in getting certain things,makes us take rash stupid decisions. when the mind is settled,we begin to think like human beings.

Indeed...... Marriage is good, only if both of you are right for each other......

3 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Jethrolite(m): 11:46pm On Jul 04, 2018
mhd5757:
Hey nairalanders, what do you think? Is this normal? Marriage doesn't appeal to me at all same as having kids, I prefer having dogs even now i have 2 of them and as soon as I get a job and make enough money I plan on getting 3 more making them 5 in number. I know most people, the first thing they want to do as soon as they get a job is to get married and have kids but not me, I'm also not interested in having a girlfriend, though I used to have one back then when I was in the university but we were forced to leave each other being that she had to go back to her country and I had to come back to Nigeria.
After that I got another girl here in Nigeria, but I had to leave her because she was too expensive and she was draining me financially. After that, I just lost interest in relationships and I decided to be single, I decided that even if I feel the need to lay with a woman I can just go to an ashawo hotel or get a steady woman who I can be calling any time I need company. I think this is the lifestyle that suits me especially in this harsh economy, its easier for me. If I get married and have kids imagine all the money I'm going to have to be spending, excess groceries, all kinds of bills, school fees and the list goes on.
At least having a steady woman to call like maybe once a week can't be as expensive as getting married and supporting a wife.
Also having dogs can't be as expensive as raising kids, with dogs all I need to do is to buy their feed, their grooming products and pay for their medical bills and probably training fees too but with kids and a wife imagine all the bills, the lists keep compiling and they never end.
What is your take on this? What do you think?
It is normal but you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If you're sure you won't regret your action in future then I wish you the best but I doubt it is what you want to do.

Old age can be very lonely.

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by tartar9(m): 11:49pm On Jul 04, 2018
Same with me...but not for your reasons

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by qonso(m): 11:52pm On Jul 04, 2018
i have the same problem but I can say it out ........how can I fall in love ,why can't I fall in love .......I always think of adoption.......... but I know is not normal but am helpless
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 11:53pm On Jul 04, 2018
divinelove:
I see a man DT will die of loneliness in old age, u might die and decay in your bed n nobody will know
Poo

6 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by franchasng: 11:53pm On Jul 04, 2018
I know a lot of guys doing well financially who don't desire to marry but having kids, they so wish they could have their own kids right away, but hearing your own case; u don't want to get married and u don't want to have kids, ah that's not okay.

Bro kids are so lovely; whenever I see cute 2 - 5yr old kids I just wish to have one cry, so I am shocked u don't feel same.

But then reading through your post, I noticed that why u feel this way is due to financial handicap. Trust me, once u start earning good steady income, your mindset will change especially about having kids.

As for getting married, many guys of today are loosing interest in getting married sha, God will help us.

But bros money no be all o, loneliness can kill....I am not rich but by Gods grace I am doing okay but I live alone in a somewhat spacious apartment, I have basic things of life every young man dream of but guess what Loneliness wan finish me, kai....all siblings are on their own, no relative to visit or stay with me, most true close friends are either out of the country, married or far away.

Sometimes I sit at my sitting room without putting on any electronics as I keep wondering what life is all about.

I pray God continue to hold me so I don't lose my sanity one day due to loneliness.

Morning - 5pm is usually sweet for me, but once I set my foot into my apartment, everywhere is dry empty, no noise, nobody to talk to, nobody to welcome u, jeez...its scary. If its this scary at my young age, imagine if I was old and approaching say 70yrs and this lonely, mhen no matter how rich u are, u may commit suicide.

So my brother op, think again o....giving birth is very vital and getting married is also good for company and friendship and having steady person to talk to when bored.

Mhen life is vanity; some have money but no friends or company, some have good company but no money while some lack both....and some are sick but have plenty money, others are healthy but so poor, sighs cry

If not for internet and social media platforms and forums like this eh, we would have been hearing of so many suicide stories for no justifiable reason but loneliness angry

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by caprini1: 11:54pm On Jul 04, 2018
Daeylar:


Why do you say so? Curious




@Op
Do what makes you happy especially in regards to the kids. Please don't have any kids until you absolutely want them, and if you don't, that's OK too.
It's completely normal.
I used to think I was the coolest and hardest dude around ,until I had my daughter,nothing is sweeter ,nothing is comparable , absolutely nothing is near the joy of her cute eyes and cute little voice ,calling you " my daddy"....nothing bro , absolutely nothing.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by IgboBasthard: 11:57pm On Jul 04, 2018
TEYA:

You are young now and strong. You are surrounded by friends. You have the strength to carry out every task you like. But one day, you will be old and feeble and alone. You will watch your married friends play with their grand kids and travel from time to time to visit their children and grand children while you will be stuck to your dogs. You will wish to change things but it will be too late. It is no too late to make the right choice now. There is a love that dogs cannot offer.

Bullshit, rubbish!

5 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by caprini1: 11:57pm On Jul 04, 2018
Lexusgs430:


Indeed...... Marriage is good, only if both of you are right for each other......
Sometimes we hen both couples are not right and children comes,the some hw becomes the missing link.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by caprini1: 11:57pm On Jul 04, 2018
Lexusgs430:


Indeed...... Marriage is good, only if both of you are right for each other......
Sometimes when both couples are not right and children comes,they some how become the missing link. Or what I call the gum that glues couples together.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by IgboBasthard: 11:59pm On Jul 04, 2018
franchasng:
I know a lot of guys doing well financially who don't desire to marry but having kids, they so wish they could have their own kids right away, but hearing your own case; u don't want to get married and u don't want to have kids, ah that's not okay.

Bro kids are so lovely; whenever I see cute 2 - 5yr old kids I just wish to have one cry, so I am shocked u don't feel same.

But then reading through your post, I noticed that why u feel this way is due to financial handicap. Trust me, once u start earning good steady income, your mindset will change especially about having kids.

As for getting married, many guys of today are loosing interest in getting married sha, God will help us.

But bros money no be all o, loneliness can kill....I am not rich but by Gods grace I am doing okay but I live alone in a somewhat spacious apartment, I have basic things of life every young man dream of but guess what Loneliness wan finish me, kai....all siblings are on their own, no relative to visit or stay with me, most true close friends are either out of the country, married or far away.

Sometimes I sit at my sitting room without putting on any electronics as I keep wondering what life is all about.

I pray God continue to hold me so I don't lose my sanity one day due to loneliness.

Morning - 5pm is usually sweet for me, but once I set my foot into my apartment, everywhere is dry empty, no noise, nobody to talk to, nobody to welcome u, jeez...its scary. If its this scary at my young age, imagine if I was old and approaching say 70yrs and this lonely, mhen no matter how rich u are, u may commit suicide.

So my brother op, think again o....giving birth is very vital and getting married is also good for company and friendship and having steady person to talk to when bored.

Mhen life is vanity; some have money but no friends or company, some have good company but no money while some lack both....and some are sick but have plenty money, others are healthy but so poor, sighs cry

If not for internet and social media platforms and forums like this eh, we would have been hearing of so many suicide stories for no justifiable reason but loneliness angry

Absolute rubbish. These are your own sentiments and personal desires. OP go and live your life and don't mind the Nigerian idiots.

12 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Yankee101: 12:00am On Jul 05, 2018
Women, step to the plate or men will keep looking for alternatives

4 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by koxi: 12:00am On Jul 05, 2018
No...its not!

That's gay loading...
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by IgboBasthard: 12:01am On Jul 05, 2018
milemimi93:


It is very normal not to marry or have kids. A lot of men are in this boat. I am in the same boat too.

Marriage is an institution programed to favor women.
Kids too are just a bunch of unecessary responsibilities.

I see people have more than two kids and am like wtf is this?

80% of the kids won't even know u when the grow up to become something in life.

That's when their ediotic wivies and girlfriends will tell them their dad is a wizard flee from him..

I came to the world to make a name and not to make kids

God bless you 1 million times. This is the truth hidden from many idiotic Nigerian men.

Most are living in daily misery and penury.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by milemimi93(m): 12:01am On Jul 05, 2018
franchasng:
I know a lot of guys doing well financially who don't desire to marry but having kids, they so wish they could have their own kids right away, but hearing your own case; u don't want to get married and u don't want to have kids, ah that's not okay.

Bro kids are so lovely; whenever I see cute 2 - 5yr old kids I just wish to have one cry, so I am shocked u don't feel same.

But then reading through your post, I noticed that why u feel this way is due to financial handicap. Trust me, once u start earning good steady income, your mindset will change especially about having kids.

As for getting married, many guys of today are loosing interest in getting married sha, God will help us.

But bros money no be all o, loneliness can kill....I am not rich but by Gods grace I am doing okay but I live alone in a somewhat spacious apartment, I have basic things of life every young man dream of but guess what Loneliness wan finish me, kai....all siblings are on their own, no relative to visit or stay with me, most true close friends are either out of the country, married or far away.

Sometimes I sit at my sitting room without putting on any electronics as I keep wondering what life is all about.

I pray God continue to hold me so I don't lose my sanity one day due to loneliness.

Morning - 5pm is usually sweet for me, but once I set my foot into my apartment, everywhere is dry empty, no noise, nobody to talk to, nobody to welcome u, jeez...its scary. If its this scary at my young age, imagine if I was old and approaching say 70yrs and this lonely, mhen no matter how rich u are, u may commit suicide.

So my brother op, think again o....giving birth is very vital and getting married is also good for company and friendship and having steady person to talk to when bored.

Mhen life is vanity; some have money but no friends or company, some have good company but no money while some lack both....and some are sick but have plenty money, others are healthy but so poor, sighs cry

If not for internet and social media platforms and forums like this eh, we would have been hearing of so many suicide stories for no justifiable reason but loneliness angry

kids are so cute and lovely.
When they grow up will they still be cute and lovely?

Anybody having kids for fear of old age is making a bigger mistake.
Making kids isn't an assurance dat those kids will look after u at old age.

Recently a naija celeb called out two twins who abandoned their mom to die.
A mom had twins dat are doing so well yet she lived a loner and died like a church rat.

If u plan ur life well, u will be fine at old age.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 12:02am On Jul 05, 2018
tensazangetsu20:
You are normal Bro. Relationships are stressful and draining and it's normal not to want something that tasking.
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 12:03am On Jul 05, 2018
Windflower:
All you need is a good woman and financial security
why put good woman first ?
Lol
Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Psalmwhyte(m): 12:03am On Jul 05, 2018
[right][/right][left][/left
mhd5757:
Hey nairalanders, what do you think? Is this normal? Marriage doesn't appeal to me at all same as having kids, I prefer having dogs even now i have 2 of them and as soon as I get a job and make enough money I plan on getting 3 more making them 5 in number. I know most people, the first thing they want to do as soon as they get a job is to get married and have kids but not me, I'm also not interested in having a girlfriend, though I used to have one back then when I was in the university but we were forced to leave each other being that she had to go back to her country and I had to come back to Nigeria.
After that I got another girl here in Nigeria, but I had to leave her because she was too expensive and she was draining me financially. After that, I just lost interest in relationships and I decided to be single, I decided that even if I feel the need to lay with a woman I can just go to an ashawo hotel or get a steady woman who I can be calling any time I need company. I think this is the lifestyle that suits me especially in this harsh economy, its easier for me. If I get married and have kids imagine all the money I'm going to have to be spending, excess groceries, all kinds of bills, school fees and the list goes on.
At least having a steady woman to call like maybe once a week can't be as expensive as getting married and supporting a wife.
Also having dogs can't be as expensive as raising kids, with dogs all I need to do is to buy their feed, their grooming products and pay for their medical bills and probably training fees too but with kids and a wife imagine all the bills, the lists keep compiling and they never end.
What is your take on this? What do you think?



Hmmmmmmmm!!![color=#770077][/color]
sad shocked

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by aziaka111(m): 12:04am On Jul 05, 2018
my brother leave ur life d way u want it, I wish buhari father also took dis decision of urs by not having kids

2 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 12:05am On Jul 05, 2018
If you plan well, are deliberate, and work towards it, you may not necessarily be lonely at old age. You can buy companionship and care if you have money at old age.

That means you don't need many landed assets like houses because you can't control them when you're old. At old age, you need liquid cash, so safe your cash (in different banks, not in one bank) and forget about buying landed properties.

Remember there won't be any regrets if you deliberately did not want a family. Not having a family seems to become an issue only if you didn't plan for it. Not planning for old age usually end up in surprises; that is the surprise of waking up at old age and no one is there.

So, planning for this point in life when you're physically weak is of critical importance if one decides to not have children.

divinelove:
I see a man DT will die of loneliness in old age, u might die and decay in your bed n nobody will know

4 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by franchasng: 12:06am On Jul 05, 2018
IgboBasthard:


Absolute rubbish. These are your own sentiments and personal desires. OP go and live your life and don't mind the Nigerian idiots.
calm down bro, I myself I am single, I didn't castigate op's choice of life, I only used my current situation and imagining what it would be like when aged to advice him. It is not a must he must take my advice or suggestion.

He is not alone, I made that clear in my post. I know a lot of guys that feel same way like the op. Myself if not for the desire to have kids in wedlock, I don't really fancy marriage much, maybe because I haven't met any lady that gets me fantasizing getting married, just maybe...so don't attack me, I think we are almost on the same page.

But then if we must face reality as people living in Nigeria, we don't have aged people homes or facilities where one can retire to when old age comes knocking. So can u imagine how the life of a Nigerian man without a wife, without a kid would be at old age

No matter how rich he is, it won't be funny for him. House helps and maids can fail you and turn to monsters once they see that u are old and have no child or wife....

2 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 12:06am On Jul 05, 2018
OP, I feel you considering the economic situation in Nigeria.

You are not where you want to be thats why you have these feelings. It will change with time smiley

And know that whether married or single, financial responsibilities will still bring it's ugly head.

In all, live the life that makes you happy..

3 Likes

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Fitbillionairep: 12:07am On Jul 05, 2018
mhd5757:
Hey nairalanders, what do you think? Is this normal? Marriage doesn't appeal to me at all same as having kids, I prefer having dogs even now i have 2 of them and as soon as I get a job and make enough money I plan on getting 3 more making them 5 in number. I know most people, the first thing they want to do as soon as they get a job is to get married and have kids but not me, I'm also not interested in having a girlfriend, though I used to have one back then when I was in the university but we were forced to leave each other being that she had to go back to her country and I had to come back to Nigeria.
After that I got another girl here in Nigeria, but I had to leave her because she was too expensive and she was draining me financially. After that, I just lost interest in relationships and I decided to be single, I decided that even if I feel the need to lay with a woman I can just go to an ashawo hotel or get a steady woman who I can be calling any time I need company. I think this is the lifestyle that suits me especially in this harsh economy, its easier for me. If I get married and have kids imagine all the money I'm going to have to be spending, excess groceries, all kinds of bills, school fees and the list goes on.
At least having a steady woman to call like maybe once a week can't be as expensive as getting married and supporting a wife.
Also having dogs can't be as expensive as raising kids, with dogs all I need to do is to buy their feed, their grooming products and pay for their medical bills and probably training fees too but with kids and a wife imagine all the bills, the lists keep compiling and they never end.
What is your take on this? What do you think?
your reason is financial. if your reason was because u dont want to bring in innocent children to face the world hardship, i will understand.

1 Like

Re: Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? by Nobody: 12:08am On Jul 05, 2018
Op, you are nothing but an impotent g.ayy olosho. Don't jazzy crew

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