It's because most women are not emotional stable. Even the so called strong women in the society. That's why the first mission of a husband is to make his woman emotionally strong. Unfortunately, we have some weak men nowadays; men of nowadays are the one asking their wives to change their look, color, size, etc. I wish they know how emotional damaging those demands are. There are many ladies that want to get married but most of them are not ready for it. Even if you marry Prince Charming, who told you he won't has potbelly, bald hair at a particular time of the marriage.

Cine:
OP you've been watching too many Disney movies. Like one too many women do these days. You believe in prince charming.

Marriage has never really been about love and your happiness. It's about rearing children That's why these days most marriages fail. Your expectations are all wrong. Not to say you shouldn't be happy etc but one needs to balance that with being content with what one already has.

Not easy finding a good partner in life and...

You sound like you're with a very good guy.

If your sex life sucks. Perhaps talk to him about it. Perhaps try get some 3rd party help in that department if it's impacting your life.

Or you could just leave. Most women initiate divorce around the world. Usually because they're 'unhappy'.

Women and happiness. Boggles my mind. Never happy for long that's all I know. No matter what you do as a man. Keep having to feed a womens happiness meter. Extremely tiring I must say.

Marriage is mostly dead.

I

BeeBeeOoh:
There must be something that attracted him to you(i.e the way he looks, his dress sense, his bedmatic prowess etc) that is now lacking in your relationship, if you can figure out what the problem is...your problem is solved. If the fault is from him then have a heart-to-heart talk with him, tell him how you feel(leave no stone on turn), I believe he will buckle up. But, if e no work, as my very good friend Ademoladëji said; When happiness is subtracted from marriage, it becomes dungeon, slavery, hell etc, abeg make una .......... Some kanno koman kee imsef and die



piss dey wori mi, I dey cum abeg

Baddest on point!!!

Miss u bro

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

It's a good reason, I pray it gets better, marriage is all just a scam, I am about getting married, and I understand very much it's just for procreation, because the lady never makes me happy (she is a good person though)

Daeylar:
Some mothers suffered domestic violence and they stayed just to keep a miserable worthless home is what you to preaching for her?


How can a sane human being see enduring domestic Violence in marriage just to keep a godforsaken home as a good thing. And take it a step further by trying to use it to preach to a woman as a reason to keep a home?

Very Sadistic


I can see happiness doesn't matter to you, keeping the home at the expense of your mental and physical health is the most important thing to you.

And you even think you can pick and choose what woman can cross your path?.

Mtcheewww

May no woman ever cross your path until you change this miserable mindset.
Rubbish.

[s][/s]

That's what built our civilisation.

1) It's not that women chose to stay it's that they had no choice. The same went for men. They were shamed to stay in marriages that they no longer wanted to be in. That's how generations of children are raised. Not all homes were bad.


2) Not all domestic violence were perpetrated by men. It's a fact that most domestic violence is actually committed by women. Spitting, slapping, temper tantrums, throwing things, not to speak of emotional abuse. It's just that men are much stronger than women. So when they do it everyone talks about it. Can you imagine a man going to the police because his wife slapped him.

3) Happiness happiness happiness. Women will never be happy. The biggest problems with marriages the world over are a womans happiness. Women are happy for all but 2 minutes and then theyre unhappy again. #happy is literally on every other female insta post. All women want is happiness but they don't realise they'll never ever find it.

As a young single guy, you will just be living your life having fun, and these confused girls will come and be forming love, they will make you lose contact with all your female friends and finally after marrying them and trying your best to provide for all their financial needs and at same time be a good husband to them, they will bring their lazy ass online and start talking about passion and how unhappy they are... May God forgive you people, what a heartless being...

Guitarlife:
OP please how old are you ?
And do you have a mother ? Have you discussed this with her and what did she say ?

Personally I feel sorry for your husband. Our mothers went through hell to keep their homes. Some even endured domestic violence and you want to walk out of a marriage because you are suffering from a mood swing ?

May this kind of woman never cross my path lord ......

Must you suffer because your mother suffered? Get sense na

dominique:
Yes, I think oyinbo people call it irreconcilable differences

ademoladeji:


Baddest on point!!!

Miss u bro

Miss u2 padi mi, u come leave ground komot nah Hope life is treating u good?

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

It is natural to feel that way. Marriage does not exist in nature. It is a human construct to maintain order. Naturally you are supposed to move on, but now he 'owns' you, cos he paid the bride 'price'.

As arrogant as that statement might sound it is the sad truth. Changing your name after marriage is called Change of Title, like when you buy something from another. The purchase price is called Bride Price. So you are his property. That is how sad it is. His children belong to him, cos he owns you, that is why the kids take his name, so please stay.

In nature animals fucck who they love, and when the love is over, they move on, and find new mates to fucck. I am married too, but if I was not married now, I would have scored baby mama and keep my sex life and happiness active with women I love and when I dont love again I pay off.

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

... knowledge is power, how can you handle a problem when you don't know or understand the root of dat problem. see my dear, seek for knowledge on the aforementioned situation. it is written were know council my pple fall but were there is multitude of councilors there is safety. jst buy books of anointed men of God that relates to ur plight n also go for counseling...there is always a solution to every problem.

What are you waiting for ?
Divorce him now and I assure you that you don't yet know the meaning of unhappiness.
Foolish girl. Better discuss the matter with him and take yourselves on a second honeymoon to a romantic place.

.

Did you attend some sort of marriage course before marriage? Do you try to put your selfish interests aside and focus on him? Finally and again, I ask, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

coolcatty:
Awwww

Poor guy....he is obviously more in love with you.

Like someone asked...do you guys have any kids?

We are new in marriage. Would love to have children but poor sex life is a hindrance.

And NO i am not cheating.

boiz2men:
I have resigned from so many companies cos of unhappiness. These companies pay good money. All the time, I never had a new job before resigning. I will be unproductive when unhappy. And that night lead to a sack. Talk less of common relationship.


A relationship will be easiest thing to do. But a marriage, I will try to make it work but if it doesn't, I can't deal with unhappiness. I'm too young to die


But you op have been collecting the d from another guy and that guy is making you satisfied sexually..


So you now thinking you are not happy with your husband.

You are a cheat and you are looking for excuses to validate your abomination

I have NEVER cheated and have no intention of doing so. I would rather walk away than have an affair.

sweetmelanin:



We are new in marriage. Would love to have children but poor sex life is a hindrance.

And NO i am not cheating.

I think you should meet a marriage councillor.

Filling for divorce isn't easy .

Except you want to remain single after separation, the probability of finding happiness in another marriage is slim.

Happiness brings fulfilment...but happiness is temporal because it depends on circumstances around us. Joy is permanent and reflects happiness. Your husband cannot give you joy because it's beyond him. Marriage is a commitment based on love. Commitment to those vows you willingly made at the alter to your husband. Find love and happiness will follow you. Guess you already know the source of love...!

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

Build the passion.

sweetmelanin:



We are new in marriage. Would love to have children but poor sex life is a hindrance.

And NO i am not cheating.

how old are you ? does he have small penis ?

I wish i studied law especially divorce law, I would profit from the likes of you. As long as there's unhappiness in marriages esp in cases like yours my pay cheque is secured. Then again though your statement got me shooked "fondness" for love, these days i feel nothing for anyone, anyway wish you all the best if there's no kids you can leave if you want as long as you can face societal backlash but the question is how do you fix this issue so that it doesn't become a re-occurring thing in future relationships.

dingbang:
You have a problem...

So are you!

You have a problem.



She has a problem that's why she created a thread asking for solution. You don't need to tell her she has a problem. she knows!

Your problem is not knowing that is the reason the thread was created.

I have a problem too!

What concerns me?

nothing really concerns me in your matter. Am I the one you were referring to? No

So, what is my own in your matter?

I really don't know. its called Ameboism!



We all have problems!

Some ppls own is reading my comment and laughing and Shaking their Heads, spoiling their mouths for me.

What concerns them?

I don't know either.

.

sweetmelanin:



I have NEVER cheated and have no intention of doing so. I would rather walk away than have an affair.

Aunty look here Forget those fairy tale marriages.... it's get boring as time goes on... however... after another 20 25 years... you will be glad you married your so called brother.

If you are looking for fulfilment in marriage then you are in the wrong place.

What makes you happy is you become the person you have always wanted to be. Marriage or no marriage.


And yes if it is sex that is the problem.... you can talk and walk your hubby on it... but believe me most marriages loses its sex drive after two years...
Then maybe after find away to reconnect. Maybe

Who knows her personally here? Some of you though.

dotcomnamename:
And bringing your family privacy on social media will make you happy rather than discussing it with him? Smh

tamethem:


So are you!

You have a problem.



She has a problem that's why she created a thread asking for solution. You don't need to tell her she has a problem. she knows!

Your problem is not knowing that's the reason the thread was created.

I have a problem too!

What concerns me?

nothing really concerns me in your matter. Am I the one you were referring to? No

So what is my own in your matter?

I really don't know.

We all have problems!

Some ppls own is reading my comment and laughing and Shaking their Heads.

What concerns them?

I don't know either.

Funny dude. My kind of guy.

Even me I have a problem. Just imagining how this babe go nights in same house with her husband that spent so much for them to marry and they don't Bleep.

Her details are sketchy. She should elucidate. Why is she no longer aroused by him? Does he perform well if eventually they try? What turns her on? Is sex a priority for her at all? If no why did she marry? If yes why ain't she getting it?

Well what's my own. God forbid say I marry this kind of woman. Let me come and be going.

sorry if I will offend anybody
I wonder whenever I see topics like this,do you know at a time he got tired of you? he might presently even be but he married you
Marriage is for life(somehow),you see him everyday and him you,granted will be taken,tired you will. Its a normal thing to everybody
probably he is too available to you,and if he doesn't,I bet the topic here would have been a different one
We are beginning to lost it,even to our children

sweetmelanin:



I have NEVER cheated and have no intention of doing so. I would rather walk away than have an affair.

I'm so sorry but your story is hard to believe. How do you just stop loving your spouse just like that?

Is this guy rich?

Are you from a not so OK (financially) home?

Do you now have a business or a job unlike before you married?

sweetmelanin:



We mistook our fondness for each other to mean love

Have you tried watching x rated movies together?

There is something you are not telling us

sorry if I will offend anybody
I wonder whenever I see topics like this,do you know at a time he got tired of you? he might presently even be but he married you
Marriage is for life(somehow),you see him everyday and him you,granted will be taken,tired you will. Its a normal thing to everybody
probably he is too available to you,and if he doesn't,I bet the topic here would have been a different one
We are beginning to lost it,even to our children
or maybe the drama is out,you need a bit of drama,fight,quarells,hate..I no say mk una kill una self oo,but all this things are reality of life,and once you try to remove them by forming carefully love,you kill the real reality
my tenet tho,what do I know

Best thing ive ever read online in recent times! Thumbs up bro.


[qquote author=oglalasioux post=69177957]How did you get into such union in the first place? To escape poverty? To be at par with your mates? To smite an ex?

Marriage has always been for the wrong reasons since Adam. No marriage has ever been successful; except those governed by religion and stone age cultures and tradition.[/quote]