₦airaland Forum

Amberon11:
She is not wrong. Her husband is wrong for wanting to be the sole owner of a property his wife contributed more to.

By their words we shall know them.

sacramento1212:
The foundation of that marriage is faulty. A marriage built on a solid foundation wouldn’t trigger all these. There’s no trust between both parties and the reason for all the bullshitting. There’s more to this than what the OP posted here.

You're are point bro women are good in posting emotional stories. I would say she should not change the name but the truth is what kind of joint business? it might be the man who did all the major stress and decide they'll share it equally and after he use some for his parent they both decide to use hers for their family no man would say that he wasn't a major pillar in business. we all know women of these days they want to be treaded equally doing lesser stress. The man might feel betrayed and thinks that's what have been giving her strength to misbehave till they had quarrel we all know how women who has wealth or advantages over their spouse act without even knowing they are being rude. The story is not complete because I remember how my do tell me and my sister emotional story before we grew up and started opposing her

Sterope:
HEseesall

You and your husband had an agreement but somthing came up. His dad was sick and he could not go ahead with what you have agreed on. Your husband did not spend the money on parties, he spent it on father's sickness. Your story and action make it seem like you are more concerned about him not keeping to the agreement than the reason he broke it off.

Lucky for him, he didn't spend all the money on his father's sickness. He added the remainder to the building of the house which means he should have a share of the property. However you chose not to amend the title documents even though he also contributed.Why? Well, you were wrong to do that.You would have hated him if it were you.

It is sad your husband has appeared to be very selfish, arrogant, illogical and immature. His subsequent reactions have trumped yours. A husband who is comfortable to ask his family to pack put because he can do so or because his name is on the title document is wicked. You are fortunate that your name was on the title document. That action appears to justify and nullify your bad behaviour. With a man like that, you are very lucky.

You have done well to want to amend the title document to reflect his contribution. Don't let him use seperation and divorce to blackmail you into using his sole name. It is a wicked and selfish idea. His actions have proved that you will regret it if it is in his name only. I wish you the best. I hope it works out between you two.

A well balanced reply ma, apportioning blames rightly to both parties. Like u said "I hope it works out between you two". Trust has already been broken.

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.



I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

You have answered your question now. She wants to keep her husband.

Franklyspeakin:
no!!!!! don't any woman he marries automatically becomes his Mrs. don't change anything. he used his own profit for his parents just imagine.

What he used his share of his money for isn't bad.
Something at that point must have made her to use he name for the land.

What is making people boil is telling her to pack out.
In a same clime and because children are involved, the man should be the one who will move out so as to provide shelter for their children. That is how the law will interpret it.
Then they will slowly sort themselves out.
But this man didn't hesitate to send her parking thinking the documents of the house is in his name when he knows the wife bought the land and and contributed to build the house.

Is that not the archaic Nigerian mentality we are talking about.
Ok,the wife agreed to Mr and Mrs yet he refused and stormed out unless it's all his.
I don't want to call him names cos he is her husband after all but his actions are so vindictive,selfish and manipulative

oloyede252:
God.. in the same comment you said "might have partly built the house " and then you concluded by saying " reap where he did not sow "..

If he partly built the house, he should partly own the house. To request sole owner of a house he partly built on a land bought by wife alone is tantamount to reaping where you didn't sow. The wife contributed more and should own more. Get it.

The story is a one sided story.
But what am suspecting is, probably the land was bought by the woman's share of the biz.

Then maybe the husband contributed to the building of the structure, which does not need a name of ownership.

Because, buying a land and building a house on it with just a one time proceed from a business?

That must be more than a huge contract/business.

paulynpen:
Yea I saw it but he try to add spices

Lol, I don't think he added spices as you observed.
The woman in question is deceptive from her narrative. Men may not have issue with their wives owning businesses without their consent, but owning the property they live in? That one na disgrace

HEseesall:
He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

please don't change it. If he doesn't agree on Mr and Mrs my dear allow him do his mind.

i like prayer.i pray too/seek God face in difficult situation "but" u dnt nid to bang/disturb the throne of Grace/Mercy cos of one "thief" like dis Yes!i repeat he's a THIEF,IRRESPONSIBLE man you kal husband.Supposed u dnt sweat/struggle to build dis house,he go don send u packing since.If he dnt com back,good for his black a55.Leave him b4 God leave u.Such a man is dangerous. He can kill u(God forbid).I doubt his family are responsible sef.U are beta off with useless thing

Madam! I read articles to the end no matter how long but I had to pause in the middle of this one to reply you.

No matter what you do, DO NOT CHANGE IT TO HIS FULL NAME!!! Is this not a preview of what would happen if you do? Please, I beg you, do not be foolish!

If it comes down to this, he can be a joint owner. Mr & Mrs Apple.

divinelove:
Alot is at stake here ( except the woman wants a divorce) and we are talking about husband and wife here. In a family the husband is the head and taking a major decision like house owner ship without his knowledge and approval is unacceptable moreso sole ownership as a married woman.

The man has moved on already n his wife is the one crying all over the place now even with sole ownership left for her already. My brother it's not DT easy to say bleep him other wise the wife won't be here crying when the man has left everything for her already. It's not like the man is dragging anything he left everything.

Whose idea was the biz that brought all d money DT caused this problem?

Let them shift grounds, they have alot of juicy joint businesses ahead.

Concead 60% ownership to the man and make peace n save the marriage

I will love to know the section of the constitution you are quoting from. He can only decide on his money not on his wife's I keep cautioning my fellow men on egoist tendencies. Its very dangerous, whoever built the house provided its our own. What if the woman used her share the way the man used his? The man is a terrible man who is bent on manipulation and oppression, if he has no ulterior motives I don't see anything wrong with joint ownership and living together in peace. No he want it in his name so that he go out and shout at the top of his voice to everyone who care to listen about how he laboured for the house. I know he will never tell the world about his wife's. I got to know lately that many houses standing are actually the brain child of women but they were swindled off the ownership. My sister I am a man, never ever reneges your ownership. Put it in the name of your children at worse

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Involve his own family and especially his parents. Don't change the name on the documents yet

wordbank:
Lol, I don't think he added spices as you observed.
The woman in question is deceptive from her narrative. Men may not have issue with their wives owning businesses without their consent, but owning the property they live in? That one na disgrace

How is it a disgrace? If you do not want a disgrace then you labour for your own that you can call your own. Even if he succeeded in claiming ownership its not his own.

HRHQueenPhil:
wow, dis is serious
1. invite ur pastor or someone he highly respects and a lawyer.

2. kneel down and beg him in their midst and ask d lawyer 2 change it 2 his name.( this is if u want peace}

now, if u are scared he would turn around and throw u out l8a,
1. call a lawyer and file for a divorce
2. sell d house, invest d money and move 2 a smaller house

It is well with u

Goodness me! Were is your brain?

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Aunty, let him remain there until he builds his own house. Then both of you can park into the house while you rent yours out and use the proceeds to support the family. Whatever you do, don't change the name on that house anytime soon.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim

Good thing the house is in your name. You did not say anything about the nature of the disagreement but stay put in that house, do not go anywhere and do not remove your name from the property document.

I will appreciate it if you can explain what caused your disagreement.

Some women be fooling themselves,ask Linda why she moved out of her banana mansion.

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

Loving you right now for this comment,
@ OP Madam if you know what is good for you better read this Etekem post and get sense.
It is well.
Let him stay out, when he is tired he will find hid eay home, stand your ground and stop begging

ashjay001:
U can't be half-smart. Change d name or forget d marriage(in d short or long run), dazzol!

If you change the name, you are still at a risk of loosing the marriage. Who says he won't chase you out when another issue occurs (not that I'm saying/hoping it would)?

A man that can chase his children out because of an offence or misunderstanding with his wife can do anything.

Besides, to me the man is somehow dumb (no offence to the wife). So it takes an argument to know about the ownership of a house you've been staying in for sometime? You didn't bother to check the documents all this while?

I don't know what OP wants again, u already have what you wanted(house), now he has left the house for u and u are still complaining.

You're very right. If the document had Mr and Mrs ABC. When he throws Mrs ABC out, and marries a new woman. The new woman becomes Mrs ABC. It's either she doesn't change the name from hers at all or if she must, it should read her full name not just the surname. i.e Mr Dee Cee ABC and Mrs Ess Emm Hoo ABC.

LewsTherin:
I both agree and disagree with this at the same time. Wierd, huh?

From the onset, yes. She should have made it a joint filing. I believe all property bought in a marriage should be jointly owned. Heck from the start, I would mot have “shared” the money in the first place. We would have used it jointly. That's what I do in my marriage. There is no his and her money. There is only our money. May be easier for me as we run a business together but hey, that's just me.

But seeing what has come out of this decision howbeit only from her side of the story, imagine what would have happened if the property was jointly owned. From the little I know, a Nigerian man can still kick his wife out of a house they jointly own. Tradition being stronger than law here. It will be said that even though both names are on the deed, he is still the husband and head of the house and still owns the house. Lawyers would be needed to untangle the mess.

I may be wrong but that's what I understand.

It happened to my aunty. Men can b funny sometimes. Don't b fooled by love. Keep d property in your name. If he isn't comfortable let him go. If u change it to his u will regret it. For those saying invite pastor pls what has pastor got to do with this? W religious fanatics

Don't dare it to put the both of you name on d document bcus u would regret it at last that was the same case with my mum and my step dad

he refuse to work while my mum was a government contractor she build house buy car and every thing with the both of them name but where tins started going tough with my mum she pleaded with he to drive keke which he refuse he sold two out of three cars as he name was in it and after the problem got beyound hand he sent my mum packing frm the house which build with her own money so pls ma don't try it

paulynpen:
Another weak man spotted. You do not ride on a woman to massage your ego. Strong leave by the consequences of their actions.

What is this one saying?! smh. What has this your comment got to d9 with the question I asked. The op never gave any detail of what transpired and almost everyone is busy picking sides and what are you saying again?


Op clearly stated that her husband is a "good man" but something happened and he turned bad(asking her to pack out), Why? What happened?

How does asking this makes one a weak man, seriously?!

JoannaSedley:
See them. You work hard for it you OWN it. You can sleep under the bridge for all I care, bunch of destiny swindlers. Your type will never pray for your wife to succeed. Read what you wrote up there. Why won't gold diggers and slay mamas come your way since you do not value hardworking women who make things happen. You can even prevent your wife from having a PhD when you do not have. Egomaniacal bunch.
You stay back doing unsuccessful things a d when she comes back with goodies, your backward traditional mindset will crawl outta the woodworks that she ain't supposed to have her name on it becase you are the horseband. Remember to tell Fulorunsho Alakija that. She is the richest woman on the planet earth today not her horse band.

I don't have problem with ur stupid write up, I only pity people like u who have not had experience of anything, if u got married and decides to change all u had to ur wife's name, good. cos fulorunsho is the richest woman according to u, therefore let ur wife become one of them, she can even grow moretharn Alice Walton. but son remember that many have gone. even the first richest woman is gone, she died last yr at age of 94. may be u review ur history book again.

All these 21st century immature men.

On no account should you ask your wife to pack out of the house. If the marriage is over, find a way to dissolve it then everyone goes their separate ways

paulynpen:
I will love to know the section of the constitution you are quoting from. He can only decide on his money not on his wife's I keep cautioning my fellow men on egoist tendencies. Its very dangerous, whoever built the house provided its our own. What if the woman used her share the way the man used his? The man is a terrible man who is bent on manipulation and oppression, if he has no ulterior motives I don't see anything wrong with joint ownership and living together in peace. No he want it in his name so that he go out and shout at the top of his voice to everyone who care to listen about how he laboured for the house. I know he will never tell the world about his wife's. I got to know lately that many houses standing are actually the brain child of women but they were swindled off the ownership. My sister I am a man, never ever reneges your ownership. Put it in the name of your children at worse

Exactly. My parents currently have a house together nd my mum's money makes up for at least 90% of that structure. It's in both of them's name though. Anyway I sha know my dad can't try rubbish.

Sterope:
It could have been an omission on his part. No one is perfect. If he didn't bother, he clearly didn't think twice of HER CONTRIBUTION when he asked her to pack out.

You may be older than me but I know that men have asked their wives to pack out for something less than a word or two. They use as an instrument of control and blackmail. Besides, it is very condescending, arrogant and selfish to ask your wedded partner to pack up and leave like a fhucking guest. I really don't want to know what happened. I don't care! Do you know how fhucking long it took her to move in? No wonder men are scared to live in their wive's house. You can't bear to go through what you put women through because you own a fhucking house, do you? Hypocrite much? :-Disrespect or not, what should a woman do when her husband disrespect her? poison him or ask him to leave if she happens to own the house? Because I really don't understand what could justify asking your partner to pack out like a guest.

This is the same man that is now insisting on being the sole bearer. It sounds to me like a man who likes to control by fire or by force.

You think it is great to chase out a partner. I don't think it is. I don't care what could have happened. If you have a problem, you sort it out or you could make arrangements. You just don't ask your partner to pack out or throw their properties out!

Am so loving ur perspective on this matter and and answers to followup questions.

Are you married that curious

paulynpen:
Then you can live under the brigde, I hope your ego would be adequately nursed there. Hahahaha.

may be people like u would prefer to live under their wife, that is why u have refused to work and make plan for future cos u want to get married to a lady that will built mansion for u to live, shameless thing like u.

HEseesall:
You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

I like you as you don't seem to be after property per se. God will repair everything that is broken. Look unto God and remain calm. God will touch him and will heal your marriage.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Chinwe, is that you? But I begged you to resolve this matter with papa Emeka. Why bring it to social media? I'm coming to the house this evening.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

I don't think that Mr and Mrs works in ownership right....i don't know but I think you should use his name and your name fully written.