₦airaland Forum

The first red flag is that you had to change a girls phone number. Is she such a low life? Are so domineering? Are so insecure?

My take, you both are losers, you deserve each other. If a lady would come back to beg you after getting three hot slaps, then she has no worth.

And I have found out low lives are a perfect fit for domineering men.

And please spare me the " I was mad/angry mantra" - A MAN THAT IS NOT IN CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS IS SICK AND ISN'T BETTER THAN AN ANIMAL. HE SHOULD GET CHECKED FOR BPD.

Kpac:
I am coming out of my comment retirement to honestly give you an advice you so much seek for.

Foremost on my advice is that you should kindly henceforth not seek a life-saving, destiny-shaping advice like the one above on a fast degrading forum like this which has also been occupied vigorously by an equally degrading different kinds of people, these days. Its like a deer going to the den of Lions to ask for advice on how to treat Mr Rabbit his neighbor. What kind of advice do you really think their brains can process?. Their minds are adequately corrupt, they have sawdust and carbide stuffed in the brains and the remaining part of the functional part has been eroded by codeine. Just so they don't win is why i am typing this, else you take a wrong advice that would affect your life, not theirs.

Lets move on from there, you have to realize that its getting more difficult for real guys to get ladies worthy of marriage these days, and its getting worse by the day. When a lady is on facebook, instagram, wechat, whatsapp, has a badoo profile, at the same time on twitter, active on nairaland, etc, it would take a real huge grace of God to have such lady not get Vulnerable and have date so many guys as you have pointed out about your fiancee. If this didn't happen now, it would have still happened after your wedding and could turn so ugly then. I am a realist and i strictly don't deceive myself. With what you have said about your fiancee, she did a terrible mistake (which she wouldn't have regretted if you have not caught her) but she quickly followed it with sincere steps of remorse, regret and remission. She deleted her facebook account and changed her number. Whew ! Thats a huge one. Most of the ladies on this forum giving you wrong advice would NEVER changed their phone number for any man. Your fiancee did this and that shows a lot of sacrifice for a lady in this generation.

She has engaged her aunt and maybe others, and that requires taking in some great shame to have done that. If she never wanted you and loved you, she would have used that 3 Italian slaps you gave her and the German dragging her out of your house as her great Alibi to make it look like you also a devil yourself. But she did not. Despite your embarrassing shortcoming, which you need to work on yourself, she has not stopped at anything (so far) to do anything she thinks could help you decide to forgive her.

You are not a saint either, we have had many ladies too who asked for advice if they should go on to marry a guy who gave them 3 Japanese slaps and dragged them from his house Fashola-style. Though what you discovered of your beloved fiancee was heartbreaking but please, you also need to look inside the mirror and ask yourself if you really think you're matured enough to get married. You seem to have a long way to go with your temperament - which of course collapses a marriage even faster than adultery.

As for she dating many guys in the past, its unfortunate, but she actually trusted all those guys is why she dated them but they had nothing to offer her. The past is the past and should be left in the past. If you guys love each other so and very much and have decided to mutually live your lives with each other, then Behold, all things have become new. Dont get married to her and be taunting her with her past again. That singular act breaks a woman's heart harder than seeing their husband on their maid. A man has to have a big matured mind and a huge restraining mind to be a successful husband.

In a nut shell, its human to make mistakes and its human to forgive. Nigerians hate that word forgiveness and that's why our society has been rounding a no-progress circle for ages. You can even deduce that from our beloved Nigerian film, they would never forgive any evil doer in their films, If they cannot find any quicker and harsher death for that evil doer, who has even repented, the next scene you would see is that the person walks away after bitterly rolling on the floor and asking for forgiveness, then suddenly a car speed to him/her, hits him/her and the person dies instantly. That's when they can end that film. They cant even give the person a chance to get to the hospital before he / she dies. Never. So its in our culture to hate to forgive, but you have to forgive your fiancee because she has really done everything she could after that interesting discovery.

Finally, please ensure its not just Facebook she deletes. Try to call her your own self, in a calm voice (cos she would have probably gotten so afraid of you after those slaps and drags), ask her to come meet you, then do your manly talks to ask her to tell you everything she thinks you should know now before you find out at anytime in the future and it gets too late. I assure you that you would need to sincerely talk very well, long and convince her she can trust you whereas you should also be very very prepared to be matured enough to hear anything and immediately shove it to the past. When she has confessed everything, you guys should jointly make decisions that would not affect your marriage henceforth. So, if she has a secret badoo profile for example, or she even has a username on a nude website, you should both there and then delete them all and please take her back to start a new life.

I assure you, there are worse ones out there. The ones on this forum are even worse. If you were dating any of them, you would have been in jail now with that your temper cos you would have killed them and even hang their corpse.

Goodluck Bro.

Wow! Too much sense in a single post.Accolades, sir.Respect

its all going right with you until u gave her '3 HOT DIRTY SLAP'[/b][b]. I wonder what she is still looking for in you. its no insult, a man seize to be human when he raises his hands on a lady. go apologize for your actions. den come back and get a reasonable advise.

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

may God grant you more wisdom. eni eleni ooni ga ishey eh shey.

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise and intelligent Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.

OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't own her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

1. You shouldn't have slapped her. It's never worth it.
2. If she's the type that loves money just forget the relationship because the above or something similar will definitely happen again if you continue especially when you are married but if she is just normal with money then.....
3. Try and forgive her (IF YOU CAN.... AND YOU WON'T USE IT AS A TOOL TO CORRECT OR ABUSE HER LATER ON IN THE FUTURE) IF you can't forgive please forget the relationship.

Why (3)?... because most women are the same thing but with different weaknesses (money, sex, love for husband, love for children, love for material things, etc). Some of these weaknesses are very bad while some are good. A woman with the first two weaknesses is a no go area for me. The others can still be controlled. I have seen a woman that cheated to provide food for her kids after she tried other means without success. Is she a bad woman?

If it was stupidity like she claimed believe me she won't try it again if not... hmmmmm. Also because of this record she would want to be as perfect for you as possible. Why did she date plenty men? That might not really be an issue depending on why she did. Most men think a girl with plenty past relationships are sluts. Not true at all. When you unleash some so called virgins you will know that Jesus is Lord! The next woman you meet might be smarter at covering her tracks.

Is your lady a bad woman? You really need to find out before you finally decide. You see sex, friendship and relationship are very touchy subjects and have no 2 + 2 answer. You are the only one that can decide because all of us that are advising you are doing so based on our past experiences and it's not all that you could apply to your circumstance.

Yes, let the auntie come. Let her come too. You will learn one or two things that will be useful in any further relationship with her or another person.

God speed!

lolest @ 3 hot slaps and you are happily saying it. the girl should be ready for a swollen eyes next time because you can't control your anger.

now back to ur problem, ur problem should not be that she collects money from other guys. for the second offence, I am ashamed on her behalf.for her to involve all her family members that means she is really remorseful. pls forgive her, If God can forgive us despite going back to sin again and again, at least for the sake of God, give her another chance.

bros, go apologize for slapping her and if you guys will ever reconsider, promise her you will never raise your hands against any woman again. and last last, my brother. "you alone understand very well this lady and the situation at hand, i bliv u guys will make a good couple together if you find a way to sort out your issues. i pray God be with you both.

Gidilagoon:
Oh wow. Thank you so much. I was extremely provoked, that’s why I did that and I’m so much in love with her and letting go is so fucking hard, so that’s why I overreacted, but thanks,NOTED

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

My brother sincerely you did not act properly by slapping her, you should not be violent in settling issues when the other party is not violent.
What she did was a behavioural issues to offend you so you too use behaviour to let her go.
Sincerely anyone advising you to take her back when you have the opportunity to let her go now does not like you.
My people say dem no dey learn left hand for old age.
She will never change, the only thing she will do is that she will be more careful in doing what she does .
Any man or woman that cheats once will always continue to cheat no matter what he or she promises you that it will not happen again.
My brother move on and be happy so you don't remain was in all your life when you marry her.

You two broke up and reconnected. Haven't you also dated other people ? So you changed her phone number ? You for also change her facebook and IG handle names na. You did all these and you still go snooping. Anyway shows how controlling you will be. If you cant bear her past, biko leave her for a man that wi marry her with her past, a man who knows he isnt marry a new born baby without a past. To think you will even slap a lady sef, weakens me. This is how DV starts and enter marriage o !

Finally, i say leave the lady, get another lady you can trust, that is if you have the capacity to trust. I say leave her because, she is used to that life style already. You need your sanity, no go kill person pikin because if una marry na wahala, no trust and olosho will never stop business and where there isnt trust, love flies out the window.

My own little two cents.

shurch:
Forgive her, court for another 6 month without sniffing on her fb or instagram , after 6 months do your research to be sure she as changed.
My guy you will know what if she's truly worth it after all.
Adios.

Who are the 134 people who liked this post .

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

bro you fuckrd up by slapping her. about the main issue : follow your heart, be open minded, does she deserve your second chance? reflect.

pocohantas:
You need common sense more. If only it were sexually transmitted, I might oblige you. So, the world can have one less dunderhead to worry about.

Chai! This is too much na. You wan kill the nigga?

for me I will let her aunty come so I go fit laugh her well well ...I wonder what she's coming to say RUBBISH

lenghtinny:
Don't take her back

Forgive her but don't marry her. Don't let the emotional blackmail fool you. Let the uncle take her as a second wife instead of eating his leftover.

Such girls with a long list of men in their romantic curriculum vitae are prone to Okafor's law of Congodynamics whether single or married.

please can you reply me with that Okafor law...

I have seen it but I can't remember it again

Gidilagoon:
No be my fault bro.. the thing Dey do me strong thing ni and I so much love her.. the best thing for me is to avoid her, she’s not the type I can stay mad at for long if am seen her around. E Dey happen baba. Man Dey fall mugu for one girl in his lifetime.

Guy, be sincere to yourself and put aside your ego, I'm a nigga like you so I know whatsup. You know in life we all make mistakes and all seek for a second chance, don't we? She f>cked up that's right, but you love this girl so much. Guy, listen to me and listen good, forgive that girl and give her a second chance and a final one at that. Give her that benefit of doubt and watch her behave better, she will never ever try such again. Do this now so u don't regret later, cos you can't be sure the next babe u will end up marrying won't even Bleep her ex on your matrimonial bed whenever you go on a trip.
Listen to the voice of reasoning!

yinkhar:
bro, your problem is bigger than I thought. Gracias

Lol....Me with problem..hahaha..I dont have one..typical hoeing ass naija girl..

Girls and their stupid behavior
I remember then when I was dating 1 stupid girl like that
She come fuvk me then fuvk my friend
When I found out,I was like WTF




SLAPING A LADY IS A SERIOUS CRIME
BEATING THE HELL OUT OF OLOSHO IS A NORMAL

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

Bros a similar thing happened to me but in my own case my girl was actually dating this other guy.
It took my finding out that they were dating for me to be shocked into the realisation that i really loved her.

I fought for her{figuratively speaking) and today We are Happily Married with a Lovely daughter.
My advice is if you can't forgive then move if you can marry her afterall who's without blame?

My 10 cents.

Guy, please don't ever raise hand on a woman. If she has truly changed, call her, talk to her, tell her if she needs a future or not. Please if she has changed & you see signs, get her back..But if you still don't trust her, don't ever try marrying her.

Dannys85:
Wow! Too much sense in a single post.Accolades, sir.Respect

Is not just admiring the sense in his post. Pls, heed to it. Thanks!

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise and intelligent Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.

OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't own her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

WHY CAN'T MEN CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS, ANGER? U HV NO MORAL OR RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL JUSTIFICATION TO SLAP, HIT OR TAP UR WIFE NOT TO TALK OF UR FRIEND. U OVER REACTED. PLS CALL HER AND APOLOGISE FOR THOSE DIRTY SLAP U GAVE HER FIRST, WHETHER U ARE FORGIVING HER OR NOT. MY FRIEND,EVEN IN ADULTERY, U CAN FORGIVE UR DEAR WIFE. D OATH OF LOYALTY IN MARRIAGE IS FOR BOTH OF YOU.NO HUMAN IS AN ANGEL UNTIL WE ARE TRANSFORMED AND TRANSLATED. GOD FORGIVE AND GUIDE U PROPERLY. THANKS.

My brother every relationship has it own ups and down , kindly sleep her down and make i understand how much you love her and make her change her ways in a very mature manners , this will make her feel she owe you all her life and that will make you be in charge, there is no saint anywhere so far you love her settle it with her and move on life is too short if you let her go you dont know what the next one you go will do a know devil is better than unknown angel please give peace a chance in this matter, i can feel your pain cos i was once in your shoes please forgive and shower her more love she will definitely get more commit ed to you. i wish you all the best in life.

It's wrong to hit a lady whether she's your girlfriend or wife or even your sister. It hurts when someone you love cheats on you but there are ways to resolve such issues even in the heat of anger. You said she has dated lots of men and you have put up measures to counter that by getting her a new line. Everyone who is in a relationship is a jealous person and feels threatened once his/her partner's cheats allegedly.

You can choose to forgive her and continue with your relationship if you truly love her. No one, they say, is above mistake but I will not call hers a mistake. But if you doubt her sincerity, you can still forgive her and end the relationship. Let her know the reasons why you need to end the relationship and move on.

Like, they say, love conquers all. Follow your heart. Also, place yourself in her shoe. Ask the same questions that you have asked your girl about her alleged cheating to yourself, "Am I a saint, too?" You both need to work on yourselves. Take care.

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise and intelligent Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.

OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't own her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

my guy you deserve a medal for this comment ... How can one be a man by slapping a woman People sef

Honestly, I can see the pains this has caused, it is evident in your write up, but then, I can also see that your love for her still exists.

The fact that she has taken some steps that would severe all ties with this lover i.e. changing her contacts and social media accounts et Al, also points to the fact that there may be genuine repentance and remorse.

However, as heart breaking as this may sound, it is important I let you know that I am fully convinced there was a sexual relationship between both of them.
Enough said, it is left for you to decide if this is what you can live with or not with respect to memories

It is your decision to make

.

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

hypergamy doesn't care. Google "AWALT". hopefully it'll set you on the road to see the world as it is. Girls don't change. you're just a stable provider for her. nuff said!

Kpac:
I am coming out of my comment retirement to honestly give you an advice you so much seek for.

Foremost on my advice is that you should kindly henceforth not seek a life-saving, destiny-shaping advice like the one above on a fast degrading forum like this which has also been occupied vigorously by an equally degrading different kinds of people, these days. Its like a deer going to the den of Lions to ask for advice on how to treat Mr Rabbit his neighbor. What kind of advice do you really think their brains can process?. Their minds are adequately corrupt, they have sawdust and carbide stuffed in the brains and the remaining part of the functional part has been eroded by codeine. Just so they don't win is why i am typing this, else you take a wrong advice that would affect your life, not theirs.

Lets move on from there, you have to realize that its getting more difficult for real guys to get ladies worthy of marriage these days, and its getting worse by the day. When a lady is on facebook, instagram, wechat, whatsapp, has a badoo profile, at the same time on twitter, active on nairaland, etc, it would take a real huge grace of God to have such lady not get Vulnerable and have date so many guys as you have pointed out about your fiancee. If this didn't happen now, it would have still happened after your wedding and could turn so ugly then. I am a realist and i strictly don't deceive myself. With what you have said about your fiancee, she did a terrible mistake (which she wouldn't have regretted if you have not caught her) but she quickly followed it with sincere steps of remorse, regret and remission. She deleted her facebook account and changed her number. Whew ! Thats a huge one. Most of the ladies on this forum giving you wrong advice would NEVER changed their phone number for any man. Your fiancee did this and that shows a lot of sacrifice for a lady in this generation.

She has engaged her aunt and maybe others, and that requires taking in some great shame to have done that. If she never wanted you and loved you, she would have used that 3 Italian slaps you gave her and the German dragging her out of your house as her great Alibi to make it look like you also a devil yourself. But she did not. Despite your embarrassing shortcoming, which you need to work on yourself, she has not stopped at anything (so far) to do anything she thinks could help you decide to forgive her.

You are not a saint either, we have had many ladies too who asked for advice if they should go on to marry a guy who gave them 3 Japanese slaps and dragged them from his house Fashola-style. Though what you discovered of your beloved fiancee was heartbreaking but please, you also need to look inside the mirror and ask yourself if you really think you're matured enough to get married. You seem to have a long way to go with your temperament - which of course collapses a marriage even faster than adultery.

As for she dating many guys in the past, its unfortunate, but she actually trusted all those guys is why she dated them but they had nothing to offer her. The past is the past and should be left in the past. If you guys love each other so and very much and have decided to mutually live your lives with each other, then Behold, all things have become new. Dont get married to her and be taunting her with her past again. That singular act breaks a woman's heart harder than seeing their husband on their maid. A man has to have a big matured mind and a huge restraining mind to be a successful husband.

In a nut shell, its human to make mistakes and its human to forgive. Nigerians hate that word forgiveness and that's why our society has been rounding a no-progress circle for ages. You can even deduce that from our beloved Nigerian film, they would never forgive any evil doer in their films, If they cannot find any quicker and harsher death for that evil doer, who has even repented, the next scene you would see is that the person walks away after bitterly rolling on the floor and asking for forgiveness, then suddenly a car speed to him/her, hits him/her and the person dies instantly. That's when they can end that film. They cant even give the person a chance to get to the hospital before he / she dies. Never. So its in our culture to hate to forgive, but you have to forgive your fiancee because she has really done everything she could after that interesting discovery.

Finally, please ensure its not just Facebook she deletes. Try to call her your own self, in a calm voice (cos she would have probably gotten so afraid of you after those slaps and drags), ask her to come meet you, then do your manly talks to ask her to tell you everything she thinks you should know now before you find out at anytime in the future and it gets too late. I assure you that you would need to sincerely talk very well, long and convince her she can trust you whereas you should also be very very prepared to be matured enough to hear anything and immediately shove it to the past. When she has confessed everything, you guys should jointly make decisions that would not affect your marriage henceforth. So, if she has a secret badoo profile for example, or she even has a username on a nude website, you should both there and then delete them all and please take her back to start a new life.

I assure you, there are worse ones out there. The ones on this forum are even worse. If you were dating any of them, you would have been in jail now with that your temper cos you would have killed them and even hang their corpse.

Goodluck Bro.

A million likes for you sir. Never knew there are mature guys left on this forum.

@OP..... This is the best advice for you.

Gidilagoon:
Pls house, I don’t know if am being stupid or not man enough but I just have to share this with you guys just for an advice.. it might be long as I really want to express myself pls.

I have been dating this girl going to 2years now and we are planning to settle down probably next year. I have known this girl for a very long time because we have dated before when I just got admitted to university but we ended after short period.

So After few years that we’av graduated, we met again and fortunately we were both still single ,so we decided to start dating again and this time we are more serious and planning for future, I realized she must have dated many guys when I left her because it was a long time ago, so I decided to change her phone number just to avoid any connection with any guy from her past since am planning my future with her now, but after awhile I noticed some of these guys still chat her on FB and Instagram and she replies, and one even sent her money and I was totally mad at her but later we resolved it.

So back to the main issue that just came up recently . I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages, I noticed one of the guy she claimed to be her uncle was a man friend she has known from the past, this guy Is married with 2kids living in US. I noticed my girl sent her nude to him and they were having sex chat, so I acted like I didn’t see anything and I invited her to my house the next day and tell her what I saw, then she started crying, immediately I gave her 3 hot slap and asked her to leave my apartment but she wouldn’t leave but kept crying on the floor and said she’s ready to swear with death if such ever happened again, that she was just stupid.

Well I dragged her out of my house, and since then all her family from different places have been calling me pleading on her behalf except her Mom and Dad which she can’t tell about it. I noticed she has changed her phone number and delete her Facebook account after what happened, but I told her it’s already late when her aunty called me...

Honestly I still love her, because she’s the only girl I ever fell for but won’t I look stupid if I accept all the pleading and continue with her? And can such girl make a good wife? She’s too vulnerable, too emotional and she has dated a lot of guys in the past, so it scares the hell out of me to settle down with her, so that man no go die untimely death..

Her aunty said she wants to come and meet me this weekend but I told her I will get back to her. Do you think I should let her come?

Pls mature men in the house don’t abuse me, just advice your guy abeg.

""so I decided to change her phone""

The girl should run for her life.









'' I don’t know what took me to her Facebook profile and I decided to go through her messages,""

U will die before u get to age 45.


Meanwhile a girl will definitely sleep with, chat wit, flirt with, lesbian with, Suck the dick of whoever she decides to. Trying to find out which one she has done is what have destroyed every single relationship u have ever been a part of. PLS GROW UP.

donstan18:
One thing we should know is that until a lady is married, she's still single and a packaged prostitute.

She might be seen as a retired one once she's married. The earlier we get this the better for us.

Even a wise and intelligent Nigerian lady will agree with me that they are packaged prostitute parading as girlfriend.

OP, you shouldn't have slapped her, she's not your wife, you don't own her, you assumed she must have dated so many men, but you didn't tell us how many ladies you've dated.

Once your girlfriend cheat or misbehave. Kindly break up or forgive.

Don't hit a woman who is not your wife because she cheated. Don't even hit a woman atall, even if she's your wife.

Your action didn't make you a man, learn to act less and think smart when provoked by a woman.

your mum and ur sisters were top notch prostitutes before they got married......Are ur sisters still single? Then they are Top-notch state of the arts modern day prostitutes....

HOW TO BREAK BLOOD COVENANT VISIT

www.storyaim.com

Slapsticker:
The first red flag is that you had to change a girls phone number. Is she such a low life? Are so domineering? Are so insecure?

My take, you both are losers, you deserve each other. If a lady would come back to beg you after getting three hot slaps, then she has no worth.

And I have found out low lives are a perfect fit for domineering men.

And please spare me the " I was mad/angry mantra" - A MAN THAT IS NOT IN CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS IS SICK AND ISN'T BETTER THAN AN ANIMAL. HE SHOULD GET CHECKED FOR BPD.

I agree with ur entire post.

Except this part -

"" A MAN THAT IS NOT IN CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS IS SICK AND ISN'T BETTER THAN AN ANIMAL. HE SHOULD GET CHECKED FOR BPD""

It's wack.

shurch:
Forgive her, court for another 6 month without sniffing on her fb or instagram , after 6 months do your research to be sure she as changed.
My guy you will know what if she's truly worth it after all.
Adios.

@ gidilagoon this is the best advice for you.

Most ladies still does what she did b4 marriage, they did not get caught like your own. I really can't vouch that you will see any beautiful lady without one blemish, their ability to correct the blemish when you show them is what you should look after.