₦airaland Forum

Originalsly:
Bro...you need to read Mobilia's first comment....and read it again. It wasn't enough to say you started an online relationship with an American.... you had to mention Black American...Akata... because you want to show it is true that Akatas are lazy. If she were White...would you have said so?..I doubt it. Why you are here is because of the unexpected backlash all because you believe in the stereotype about Black American women....like sooo many others as seen in comments. You believed they were lazy...and dumb...that you are soo smart...that you can use her ...get your Green Card...then dump her.
Africans have wrong feed about AA....AA have wrong feed of Africans. ...plus...cultural differences. Most Americans do not have passports because leaving the US is not something they think about...and to visit quite a few countries...passport for a US Citizen is not required. Canada is one such country where a Driver's License is enough to enter Canada from the US. Red flags should've been waving when she agreed ...not to even visit.... but lack up and leave the US...to go live in cold Canada...with a stranger...an African...a man she doesn't know...nor his culture. Something is dead wrong with that picture. You picked a bum...but bums are streetsmart.... and know to use the system. Embellishing or whatever you term it...she knows it is wrong and the consequences that can result if that comes to light. She has you by the balls...and knows it. Canada/US...you are in her court.... ask yourself...are you prepared for the consequences if she. ...calls 911 and report domestic violence?...if she calls your job?...if she calls Immigration? ...you really think you can explain?...and they will listen?
The most I can advise you to do...is let her know there is an emergency back in Nigeria...and you will have to be returning indefinitely...don't think you will return. ...take some emergency time off from your job...she will crosscheck...then maybe travel...call her from Naija...tell her it is worse...you wouldn't be returning..she will pack up and return to the US. Good luck.

This option make sense as well. That girl does not mean well for him at all. The greatest mistake he can make now is to get her pregnant. Him own don done be that.

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself above all, she is someone of same faith (Christianity)

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together. I also thought that she being an American might provide me the opportunity of having my American dreams but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

OP lemme guess You go bring one big yansh akata from atlanta go Canada shey?
She kon show you pepper. Issalrite. You have dulled, but hopefully you have finished dulling.

otipoju:
This option make sense as well. That girl does not mean well for him at all. The greatest mistake he can make now is to get her pregnant. Him own don done be that.

I'm almost sure that can't happen..... she would've done that a longgg time ago!

Retrace ur step now!
U r very very lucky at least for now.

otipoju:
The emboldened is called. " cunning man die, cunning man bury am".

As for the mindset thing, its not something I want to discuss in public. But i know you know exactly what I am saying.

I don't know what's in your mind that is why I asked. If you think that your mindset is the truth, why not discuss it on this public forum with a Black American who is curious to know?

MrI2015:
My brother , you are a good person indeed . Please come home and marry from home, whatever you think the lady in question possess, we have good ladies that possess such double.There are many unmarried and ready be with you down here.Brother please come home.Come down to take the person that will love you from the depth of her mind, ladies from good background and same faith with you.I mean pretty ladies, our ladies are the best.Please come and help their ministry and reduce their number.God bless you.Nigeria is blessed with what you are looking for.

Op please take this advice, but only if you are willing to marry a good Nigerian lady and take her back to Canada with you otherwise she would have no use for you.

Bsuedu:
The origin is from the Yoruba language. Any Yoruba who is being sincere with you will tell you it is derogatory.

I know that it is a Yoruba word and I heard some of them say that it means wildcat.

khiaa:
I know that it is a Yoruba word and I heard some of them say that it means wildcat.

Oh,Ok. I thought you meant you werent sure if it was derogatory. Ive had several Yorubas tell me it was jackal/wild cat. Others will try and clean it up.

Young man, if you love yourself, you better come erect a building in Nigeria and buy properties with your hard earned money. When there are Babes spending for guys, pay bills, yours is opposite. Don't let me insult you o, cos bet me, that girl will Bleep you up big time soon, you better run from her! Are you sure you are a true Nigerian so?

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself above all, she is someone of same faith (Christianity)

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together. I also thought that she being an American might provide me the opportunity of having my American dreams but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

luminouz:
Lmaooooo!!
Just read your personal text...
U crazy

Only like a "fox" my brother

khiaa:
Yes, oh yes.

[color=darkblue]i didn't write that for your amusement. u black Americans women are much worst.you fvck pink men who shoot your brothers all the time[/color]

first of all try remove all your important documents out of the house....you should move out of that house gradually...when your rent expires leave the house and tell her you can't pay for rent again
guy use your head Na

khiaa:
Just lie on your resume like he did and maybe that will help you to get a better job.

No need! I have morals

Sarang:
No need! I have morals

I was being sarcastic. That's what you all say but most of you don't know the meaning of the word.

AngryNigerian22:
[color=darkblue]i didn't write that for your amusement. u black Americans women are much worst.you fvck pink men who shoot your brothers all the time[/color]

Nigerian women screw white men who kill them and their little girls so I believe that's much worse.

Mobilia:
Ogalanyaidi,
Brother may I ask you a real, hardcore question please?
Why would you decide to want to marry an American, (a woman living in another country), while you are there in Canada where there are tons of Nigerian females and Black Canadians?
You could have easily gotten a woman in Canada...very easily (Black, African, European, Indian, Asian etc.).
Could it be though, that you had plans/dreams of coming to the U.S. to maybe further your studies once finished in Canada or to possibly work here? Did you clearly communicate that to her?

Honestly, I find this scenario quite unusual....
Cause a Black American woman, more oftentimes than not, is not going to just up and leave the U.S. to go and live with a foreigner in another country....at least not without a plan/direction. Most Black Americans don't see a concrete enough reason to leave (family, friends, job, schooling and the familiar etc) and take up residency in a foreign country....
That's like a 1-2 out of 10 chance that a female would do that.
I wonder where you met her?
I've read some of the comments and am quite appalled at how quickly the females (especially) jumped on and insulted the "akata".
But you had a role to play also. You should have gotten to thoroughly know the woman you wanted to marry...which takes time.
Perhaps sir, you can chalk this incident up to an unfortunate one....and know that in the future, you may want to enter into a relationship with the "right" motives or at least clearly communicate what you really want.
Be honest, you paid for all those things expecting a return on your "investment". Had it worked, then you would have hit the "jackpot"...so to speak.
Perhaps it's best to just date Nigerian women and hustle to get the permanent residency in whatever country you eventually determine to be the best one.
The "toilet" situation may have been just a case of a cultural misunderstanding. Black Americans and Black Africans have so much strife, ignorance and tension between each other...which is beyond saddening.
I would never...stereotype an entire ethnicity because of a number of challenged ones.

Abeg shut up and speak for ur self sis, a lady once traveld from another country to come see me and I didnt pay her flight ticket, she was even insisting on marriage cos I treated her so well but I obviously wasnt interested in marrying oyinbo. So speak for yourself, people do it ALOT.

Chaii this bros don fall naija guys United fc all the World hand, left naija to study,hustle and send some money home. Now Na akata you dey waste all that money on, mama naija just dey weep for you bros

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself above all, she is someone of same faith (Christianity)

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together. I also thought that she being an American might provide me the opportunity of having my American dreams but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

I looked into this issue for you. It was confided in me that your village people are behind the issue. I dont know you or your wife but i will tell what was revealed. Do you remember before you traveled and you were instructed to fast and burn candle, something happened. Do you recall this? You yourself were shocked by the incidence. Let me go straight to the point...that girl, yes...that girl, you know who im talking about. She was posessed but you didnt know. You thought you were sleeping with a human.

Anyway, she don plant a remote inside your body. She use the remote to control you. Solution dey o! E get solution! We go destroy the remote so you can be freed. But no be small job sha. . To fight spirit no easy. If say you dey here now, it could be done much easier...but you are too far for us, but never too far for her spirit power. As i dey talk now sef that girl you put for house don get belle. She fit no tell you yet. There is danger....fire is on the mountain! Now we be firemen here, we sef go go ontop mountain and put out this fire. If that pregnancy reach three months its too late we cant help you anymore. Do quick quick and free yourself and dont allow the spirit you slept with enter this foetus and take over.

As i dey speak to you Ileya dey round corner so ram and goat and malu price high well well. You go send me money we buy two goats, one male one female, one white, one black. We go buy soap, make concoction to take bath the two goats. The water from this bath we collect and bottle it up.

You go come do your thing to get me visa like you get this girl wey carry your belle, send me ticket money. Na me go carry this bottle come yonder. You go take bath, your fiance go take bath too. After that. I will bring 3000 in dollars only! I will bring back to give the baba for his work. Na after my return and 3000 we go fit slaughter those two goats, not before. Let me warn you, if that 3000 miss just one kobo to complete, we no fit slaughter goats. If we no slaughter the goat soon after i touch ground the spirit fit reinforce sef and do more damage over there in canada. For my own part of the trouble you fit just pay me 200 dollars sef, my own no hard. But we love you na why we are concerned to make sure you are successful. The baba told me another thing sef...but make we finish dis first. I hear say you are one of the future governors wey go rule this naijeria. .

We go dey wait for the money to buy goat sha...dat na first step.

khiaa:
I was being sarcastic. That's what you all say but most of you don't know the meaning of the word.

Sorry but am not a black American

yabas:
Abeg shut up and speak for ur self sis, a lady once traveld from another country to come see me and I didnt pay her flight ticket, she was even insisting on marriage cos I treated her so well but I obviously wasnt interested in marrying oyinbo. So speak for yourself, people do it ALOT.

Let me see if I can speak a little bit of Pidgin here:
Are you the OP? I don't need to speak for myself...I asked a question and if the OP decides to answer, then he will.
Abeg sir, please do not tell me to "shut up" biko, because I won't. Take una dey shakara elsewhere. I no dey want wahala with you.
Thanks and have a good night!

Sarang:
Sorry but am not a black American

I know you aren't, that's why I said you don't know the meaning of the word morality.

khiaa:
I know you aren't, that's why I said you don't know the meaning of the word morality.

Well from the story told so far..it seems like it's you guys that do not know the meaning of that word..
Use your senses..

Sarang:
Well from the story told so far..it seems like it's you guys that do not know the meaning of that word..
Use your senses..

Black American women aren't selling their bodies to white men all over the planet and then proclaiming that they have morals/values/standards because you have some kind of superior culture over the rest of the world. Your'e dirty. Clean yourselves up.

No one used you. You created this mess.
Without even knowing someone you went 0-100 real quick! You had already built this life based on what exactly? Her being American has nothing to do with this you just created a whole big problem for yourself her and for what? You went all the way to Canada to get stressed by someone who has a whole different outlook to you?
Your expectations and your reality did not meet like two parrell lines. They never will
I honestly do not get men like you.
Why are you still together??

khiaa:
Black American women aren't selling their bodies to white men all over the planet and then proclaiming that they have morals/values/standards because you have some kind of superior culture over the rest of the world. Your'e dirty. Clean yourselves up.

If you dislike Nigerians so much then why are you on this website

I don't understand people who surround themselves with what they hate.

Originalsly:
Bro...you need to read Mobilia's first comment....and read it again. It wasn't enough to say you started an online relationship with an American.... you had to mention Black American...Akata... because you want to show it is true that Akatas are lazy. If she were White...would you have said so?..I doubt it. Why you are here is because of the unexpected backlash all because you believe in the stereotype about Black American women....like sooo many others as seen in comments. You believed they were lazy...and dumb...that you are soo smart...that you can use her ...get your Green Card...then dump her.
Africans have wrong feed about AA....AA have wrong feed of Africans. ...plus...cultural differences. Most Americans do not have passports because leaving the US is not something they think about...and to visit quite a few countries...passport for a US Citizen is not required. Canada is one such country where a Driver's License is enough to enter Canada from the US. Red flags should've been waving when she agreed ...not to even visit.... but lack up and leave the US...to go live in cold Canada...with a stranger...an African...a man she doesn't know...nor his culture. Something is dead wrong with that picture. You picked a bum...but bums are streetsmart.... and know to use the system. Embellishing or whatever you term it...she knows it is wrong and the consequences that can result if that comes to light. She has you by the balls...and knows it. Canada/US...you are in her court.... ask yourself...are you prepared for the consequences if she. ...calls 911 and report domestic violence?...if she calls your job?...if she calls Immigration? ...you really think you can explain?...and they will listen?
The most I can advise you to do...is let her know there is an emergency back in Nigeria...and you will have to be returning indefinitely...don't think you will return. ...take some emergency time off from your job...she will crosscheck...then maybe travel...call her from Naija...tell her it is worse...you wouldn't be returning..she will pack up and return to the US. Good luck.

Why all that hassle??
Tell her to go! If she won’t he moves and finds somewhere to go. It’s not that hard to get an apartment he works does he not?
Why try to agrgue about sterotypes and then advice him to reinforce one about Nigerian men?
Weaving an elaborate lie about travelling whatnot!
He tells her to go
End off!

Triniti:
Chaii this bros don fall naija guys United fc all the World hand, left naija to study,hustle and send some money home. Now Na akata you dey waste all that money on, mama naija just dey weep for you bros

His mother does not even have a generator

MissRaine69:
Why all that hassle??
Tell her to go! If she won’t he moves and finds somewhere to go. It’s not that hard to get an apartment he works does he not?
Why try to agrgue about sterotypes and then advice him to reinforce one about Nigerian men?
Weaving an elaborate lie about travelling whatnot!
He tells her to go
End off!

Yes...he works...and I'm sure he can find another apartment and move....do you really believe she will not first make him lose his job? It's not easy for him to get rid of her with the info she has on him.
Not reinforcing anything about Nigerian men.... if he were from any other country the advice would be the same because that is a way of getting her to leave Canada on her own terms and hopefully preventing her from reporting him.

Originalsly:
Yes...he works...and I'm sure he can find another apartment and move....do you really believe she will not first make him lose his job? It's not easy for him to get rid of her with the info she has on him.
Not reinforcing anything about Nigerian men.... if he were from any other country the advice would be the same because that is a way of getting her to leave Canada on her own terms and hopefully preventing her from reporting him.

Info on him?
Oh please!!!

Originalsly:
Yes...he works...and I'm sure he can find another apartment and move....do you really believe she will not first make him lose his job? It's not easy for him to get rid of her with the info she has on him.
Not reinforcing anything about Nigerian men.... if he were from any other country the advice would be the same because that is a way of getting her to leave Canada on her own terms and hopefully preventing her from reporting him.

He forgot why he went there. Simple as that.
Telling women you hardly know all your business. Why? He moves, changes jobs or he is farked.

MissRaine69:
His mother does not even have a generator

The guy deserves several strokes of koboko to get his sense back

khiaa:
I'm black American and this is the only fair response as of yet, no prejudices or judgments. Kudos to you. Common sense with a fair approach. The OP is lying, there are no Visa's and fees to pay for an American to enter Canada, the U.S. and Canada share the same borderline all we need is our Identification card. I live in California which shares the same borderline with Mexico, since when do I need a passport and Visa to enter there?

He may not be lying though. She has lived with him for 10 months now. I understand that a US citizen cannot stay longer than 6 months without a visa. Also, he said he got her a job before she arrived. This requires documentation which includes a valid visa.