₦airaland Forum

eyinjuege:
Please go and use your antipsychotic medication.

Don't mention me again

Go get 'senseline', it doesn't cost much.

It is sad this is happening. Both of you need to sit down and talk, kindly advise her to change the land documents' title to Mr and Mrs. Let's see how this goes and take other things from there. The trust between both of you is weakened right now but that can be re-built with time. You need to address the issue of infidelity your wife was suspecting you of you and forge a new beginning together. This relationship is repairable and there can be some damage recovery to enable existence of trust between two of you.

More so, if your wife refuse to change the land title to Mr and Mrs, then she is in for a long thing, sit her down and ask her what she wants. She was ill-advised in taking that decision, she didn't take it alone, the friends, sisters and/or the mother are involved. She will get back to them but still divorce is not an option now, it is the last option when all others has been exhausted. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! It is key in marriage. It solves a lot of marital problems and time heal wounds also. I wish you well.

innobarca:
I laugh whenever single men and women rush to comment on marital issues here.

The woman said here on her thread that the husband is not a bad man, she said the husband takes care of the family.

If the man used his own share of the money to take care of his in-laws(the wife's mother ,father or siblings) Which most men do always..... The wife would have Been happy.

Now it is used for his own parents ,The wife sees it as him squandering his own share or maybe she suspect he used part of it on women.

In this Situation, Some wives will never accept the husband to use only his own share to take care of his sick parent,a good wife will also want to take part of her share to also assist in that regard.
What if its her own parent that is ill and needed immediate attention? Will the man be building a house while his mother in-law or father in-law is ill and needed immediate attention?

Why should a married woman not care for her husband mother or father? Even the point of illness? Because if she cares,She won't be saying the husband used his own share of the money to take care of his parents.
What is the nonsense of his own money and my own money? In Marriage? Kids should stop getting married.

The woman has been planning something for long.

Oga,I will advice you to forgive her ,I read her thread and know she is one them with that type of mouth,oversabi,and 20th century women,They are always the victim when it gets bad .

Forgive her,take your kids along with your wife,move away from the house so both of you can reason together.

No need of changing the documents to your name,I believe you never did anything wrong by taking care of your parents which I believe even if its your wife's parents that needs urgent attention, You would have done same.
You will be blessed to build another soon,be happy pls.

Women are different, some are learned and receive fat salaries but still know what respect and trust means in marriage.

You see men drinking alcohol every evening, its not all of them are just drinking for the sake of it...some just don't want to argue or fight in the house when the woman starts talking, they just go out to cool off.

Thanks.

I laugh when Male doctorS help women to give birth or female doctors treat Penile Problems

dominique:
If she built the house like the op's wife nko? Will you send her out of her own house like the wicked, selfish op? This "parent's house" threat you men love to churn out is getting old and lame.

If the woman has bn truthful to herself, the husband should be aware of that long time ago. She should have told the man that she was against him attending to his father's illnheart with greater part of his own money. That's the main issue that metamorphosed to this mess
Once again, u made no sense

MarieSucre:
Uncle you better pay attention to your own attitude so that your own marriage can last. I already see you telling a couple of women to get out because of selfishness and pride and leaving alone in old age.

Just watch ur utterances because if u continue like this, u may not last up to 2 months in a man's house. U may spend the rest of ur life alone and bitter

ExtraExtra and HEseesall
The foundation of your marriage is flawed. In marriage there's no I, me, my share, his share. You went into a biz and shared the profits into his and hers instead of ours. Assuming you had the profits as "ours" then taking part of it to take care of an ailing father and using the rest to build your house wouldn't leave doubts as to whose name should be on the house documents.
ExtraExtra your faults are plenty.
1. You have inferiority complex. Your wife, in her write up, did not mention she was from a more financially stable background but you brought it up even though it added no value to the issue at hand. Deal with your complex problems else it would destroy your home.
2. You are not nuclear family oriented. Yes you are the first son so you still have a responsibility for your extended family but you don't do that at the detriment of your nuclear family. Your wife bought and built a property to completion and you are only just finding out the details of the documentation? How unconcerned were you exactly I understand putting health first in cases of emergency but afterwards you went ahead to complete your father's house before adding the change to your own house? You should be grateful to your wife for covering up your weaknesses. At least she's more family oriented and built a home for you and your kids.
3. If you are having a heated argument with your wife, the reasonable thing to do is to excuse yourself from the situation. Go out to a bar, have a drink or two to cool off then return home to a calmer atmosphere and discuss the issue. How on Earth do you ask a woman to leave the house during an argument (forget that your joking b.s, I'm not buying it)? Where do you expect her to go to cool off?
4. This one goes back to your not being nuclear family oriented.... you have already gone ahead to report the situation in your home to your extended family and even your wife didn't do it. Now you are making unreasonable ultimatums just so you can satisfy your bruised ego or at least prove to your extended family members that you wear the trousers in your home.
5. You are not willing to keep your home and you are taking for granted the fact that your wife is willing to do anything to keep the home. You have applied for a transfer to another state because of this issue? Did you consider what the move would do to your children? Have you even thought about anyone else except yourself in this issue?

HEseesall,
Learn not to make assumptions (you assumed he would know the property was in your name)... communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!!
Agree to put the property in his name and if he doesn't change his stance about it, that's having both your names on it, then consider your stance in the marriage. Unfortunately you married a man who doesn't understand what marriage is about or the relationship between marriage and Christ so you either chose to carry your cross and make it work or seek professional help.

All the best.

MarieSucre:
See dem! Awon get out of my house but I'm only joking crew...

Look at her, they go about insulting their husbands and his entire family and still want to stay under same roof with him. Hypocrites

cococandy:
interesting. How do you suppose you could help me?

Financially and otherwise.

Why am I just seeing this thread. ?

When I was talking and warning that woman against taking such drastic actions, many people called me unprintable names.

mumu people with no sense.

I hope that woman take their foolish advise, so her husband will deal with her very well, and then nairlanders giving her terrible advise will come to her rescue.

Evil people full this family section.

MIKOLOWISKA:
that's what he just said. Women keep telling.

Did any woman tell you she is the one feeding her husband or rather a foolish man exposing himself on how his wife is being "arrogant because she is feeding him? .

.na una dey still open una yash because of inferiority complex.

ikukuhero:
Very silly egoistic man.

All MEN are egotistical
What makes us men

Can you marry a
wimp

Your wife was right to call u proud! Couples quarrel, say hurtful things to each other and settle thereafter.

You're not a couple if you're paying hurtful things

Your cousin is a devil for taking your family issues out.

Mr man where did the cousin come in
No be d woman carry mataa com nairaland.com when her eye clear
After running her mouth

And you, Talking as if the woman will fold her arms while you pack the kids along with you.

You think this is yankee ba
Dreamer

By the way, what's the difference between her narrative and yours?

She conveniently left out where she ran her mouth

Just keep acting like the shallow minded man you are until your family falls apart right before your eyes. The children will grow up to loathe you and your family. You think your wife will not survive without you? I see a strong woman that'll stand tall without you. She'll divorce you and go for a better man.

Who will marry a shrew
Why is she begging now

Better put your house in order before your pride destroys you and your home. She must not change house ownership name to yours . And are her kids not yours? I am sure you're an Edo man. This man just disgusts me! Stingy self centred man with a short temper.

All MEN are egotistical. What makes us men
PS

You mean 'irrespective to what has happened'? easier to talk when you are not in his shoes!

battleaxe:
Irrespective of what has happened, a responsible married man and father should not be telling his wife to get out of the house.

Nihilstjnr:
sharrap.

The woman offered to add his name to the documentation and he rejected.

He doesn't want joint ownership of her house . He wants to own her house outright.

what they've is a legally binding marriage and the husband has a stake in the spoil of marriage.

if she think her initial approach of sole ownership was appropriate, let her change the document to reflect her husband's.

if she still doesn't trust her husband, this is the time to move on with her property. she had always envisage this day, her dream is being realized.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

So the only thing you could understand was that the husband is trying to defraud his wife of a house they both agreed to build.
A wife who betrayed his trust by building in her name and then failed to tell him because she knows she was been a disloyal bittch.

So all the money the man has been spending on the family especially his wife , whose account should those ones be recorded?

continue. na mumu women I pity sha.

Elfmannisback:
It is a time bomb waiting to explode or implode when a woman has money whether from her connection, self efforts or family. You just tolerate until u can stand on ur own and bail. You don't know what u did wrong, just knowing she contributed to ur successes is a problem to her.

Akuko.
Na so.

Ngozi Okonjo is a time bomb abi?

Dora Akunyili (RIP) was also one.

Oga, there's no justifying his decision ooo.

If you want to continue in your line of thought, good luck to you.

Remember, you are what you think. You are a sum total of your thought pattern.

MizMyColi:
Akuko.
Na so.

Ngozi Okonjo is a time bomb abi?

Dora Akunyili (RIP) was also one.

Oga, there's no justifying his decision ooo.

If you want to continue in your line of thought, good luck to you.

Remember, you are what you think. You are a sum total of your thought pattern.

But there is a justification for hers? You try it with ur husband. Women no dey dey wrong. The man had done the best thing.. Let go of the house. Una no still dey happy.
ngọzi stole enough to keep her husband cool.. The other one is dead. you don't know their homes.

MizMyColi:
Lol.
My dear...
Leave matter.

I am not excusing her bad character.
Noooo. I would feel betrayed if I learned that my name is not included. Even if I didn't contribute one naira, just put my name there...otherwise it defeats the goal of oneness in marriage.


But in those moments of weakness, what makes the difference is how the other party handles it.

I know what it's like to be a Choleric and a Phlegmatic because I am one. It means I am one of the most sweetest, nicest people in the world....until I feel cheated, or oppressed or simply can't take some kind of shit anymore. Hehehehehe....I pity you.

Like I said, it all depends on how the partner handles her moments of weakness. Except she is an out rightly bad woman, I want to believe that she does not feel proud of those moments, I really want to believe.

In anger he told her to get the hell out of his house.
If na you nko? Bros, be truthful.

I fault her for not putting the house in their name. I do. She should have seen to that. But maybe there are two reasons here:

1. She was wary of the man's nature, and felt that things might go sour one day, and she'll be left with nothing.

2. Since the man was away when the building started, the paperwork was done in her name as the man wouldn't have been able to sign.

This brings me to my other line of thought...

Why is it okay that a man and a woman sweats to build a house, though the money came from the man, so he puts it in his name. But if the situation were reversed in favour of the woman - all hell is let loose?

Why is it then okay for a man to tell a woman to get out of his house because he owns it, but becomes awful for a woman to remind a man that he cannot tell her to get out because they own the house together, or in rare scenarios...that she built it with her money?

Pride is bad o.
It's bad. A marriage won't last long if you continue letting pride get the best of you. Sometimes, you need to fight it. You need to say YES to humility, whether you are man or woman.
Pride is a stumbling block to progress. If you know, you know...

So progress is being accused of infidelity without proof and humility is allowing a shrew to insult your parents. Even zidan didn't take such nonsense at World Cup final

MIKOLOWISKA:
So progress is being accused of infidelity without proof and humility is allowing a shrew to insult your parents. Even zidan didn't take such nonsense at World Cup final

They know it hurts when told to leave the house but they will be piling up insults and abuses on u regularly and expect u not to hit them or insult them back. I don't understand these people!

Respect55:
If the woman has bn truthful to herself, the husband should be aware of that long time ago. She should have told the man that she was against him attending to his father's illnheart with greater part of his own money. That's the main issue that metamorphosed to this mess
Once again, u made no sense

At what point did the woman say she was against her husband treating his father? I don't know why you're so pained over this matter that you're barking all over people's posts. It must upset you that there's one less woman out there bundled out of her home by her husband and his people. Go and take your anti-narcissistic and anti-psychotic pills, you'll be fine

ikukuhero:
I wish I could see you to talk sense to ur thick skull! Last last, na you go loose out! Your wife is more sensible, prudent, thoughtful and reasonable than you.

Yeah
She prefer house to live healthy parents

Now, you've gone for a transfer, without considering the cost / financial /other implications of your spontaneous decision.

What financial implications
If there is no house will he not pay rent for both of them?

Just watch how your stupidity , arrogance, pride and ego will lead to the collapse of your marriage and traumatize your children.

He can marry again
She will never
These are not American children stop fooling yourself

Your wife will NOT follow you.

Then why is she begging now
She needs him
He doesn't need her

She'll divorce your silly and weak ass if you'll not behave right.

Why she begging
She can't divorce nothing

YOUR PRIDE WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. Ewu of the highest order. My aunty tells her husband almost everyday that their house is in her name. They've been married since 1972. The man lives with her. They built the house together, but she put just her name on the papers. The landed properties are in her name too. So, what are you this arrogant man talking here? You're a boy and not a man.

Your uncle is a lazy man

freshvine:
what they've is a legally binding marriage and the husband has a stake in the spoil of marriage.

if she think her initial approach of sole ownership was appropriate, let her change the document to reflect her husband's.

if she still doesn't trust her husband, this is the time to move on with her property. she had always envisage this day, her dream is being realized.

unless you're being deliberately obtuse, you will see that the husband is demanding far more than just his 'stake in the spoils of marriage

From telling her to get out of the house, to demanding that deeds of the house be transferred to his name alone, it's clear to anybody with half a brain that this husband believes he's entitled to all of it, and the wife entitled to none.

And that, is exactly why the woman protected her investment in the first place.mmm

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

When they tell women to marry from their class, they refuse to listen. Now the wife has married a poor man with poverty mentality. Imagine dragging property with your wife and you are not ashamed. Tufia!!!.

I dey vex gan. Your wife is too nice in wanting to add your name to the said property. If I was your wife, you go hear am. Nonsense and ingredient. As if it's not your children that will inherit the so called property.

Assuming you die today, your same family with poverty mentality will start dragging the property with your wife.

Evathyst:
Bros, na how many mouth only you get nau? See as you dey shift blame up and down. At first, you technically blamed the woman for the whole brouhaha. Now, you're faulting the foundation of the marriage. Just say the truth, the man no try at all. It's obvious he's trying to cheat the woman period. Any other thing is tantamount to speaking from both sides of the mouth.

It's funny how men can easily open their mouth to utter words like; 'It's over between us'. 'Get out of my house'. Which kind yeye statement be that one? Shuo!

very easy and yet women can't get it thru their thick skulls not to push the man to the edge

CSTR1005:
Why am I just seeing this thread. ?

When I was talking and warning that woman against taking such drastic actions, many people called me unprintable names.

mumu people with no sense.

I hope that woman take their foolish advise, so her husband will deal with her very well, and then nairlanders giving her terrible advise will come to her rescue.

Evil people full this family section.

There is nothing the man can do again. He left the house, his wife and kids. He practically ran when he faced the truth. He is a wimp, a pu.ssy and a sissy. He blew the trumpet to all their extended family members, telling them how he wasn't capable of raising a roof over his family's head. He insulted his wife in front of his cousin and got the shocker of his life when he had his bruised balls handed over to him by his wife.

To me, they are just business partners and nothing more.
Was there any other things in the house that was bought with your wife's name apart form the property?
Whining excuse of a man!! Imagine me blackmailing my husband to put my name alone on a property he bought. What sort of fraud and inferiority complex is that?

Woman wrapper

Oga
you are being unfair to your wife,she was even the one that brought up the business idea that yielded a lot of profit for you people.What is money without a business idea to make the money useful,and she even contributed half of the capital, you think its every woman that will agree to that,but she cared so much about your future and to make it happen,she give you a full support,because she cares.

You are a selfish man sir,you and your family benefited more than enough, from that investment, so because she is from a well to do family,that makes it OK to shift every financial help to your family alone.God will judge you because that woman did nothing to you,you have allowed your selfishness, arrogance and pride to take over your reasoning.


Well done sir

dominique:
At what point did the woman say she was against her husband treating his father? I don't know why you're so pained over this matter that you're barking all over people's posts. It must upset you that there's one less woman out there bundled out of her home by her husband and his people. Go and take your anti-narcissistic and anti-psychotic pills, you'll be fine

Dnt get ur self worked up young lady, u might end up going deeper into depression zone. 2hat else could have made her do what she did if not that.
One more thing, whenever u want to throw up, take two cups of water and close ur eyes for 30mins.u will b fine.
I WON'T REPLY U AGAIN

JoannaSedley:
There is nothing the man can do again. He left the house, his wife and kids. He practically ran when he faced the truth. He is a wimp, a pu.ssy and a sissy. He blew the trumpet to all their extended family members, telling them how he wasn't capable of raising a roof over his family's head. He insulted his wife in front of his cousin and got the shocker of his life when he had his bruised balls handed over to him by his wife.

To me, they are just business partners and nothing more.
Was there any other things in the house that was bought with your wife's name apart form the property?
Whining excuse of a man!! Imagine me blackmailing my husband to put my name alone on a property he bought. What sort of fraud and inferiority complex is that?

Woman wrapper

Don't mind them,they think its the men's world all the time,imagine the nonsense.

dominique:
At what point did the woman say she was against her husband treating his father? I don't know why you're so pained over this matter that you're barking all over people's posts. It must upset you that there's one less woman out there bundled out of her home by her husband and his people. Go and take your anti-narcissistic and anti-psychotic pills, you'll be fine

Stop indulging that young man. His is generally bitter about women. Some days ago, his mad wife beat his mother and he in turn beat his mad wife to stupor. The mad wife reported him to the police for domestic violence. His sorry a.ss is sour with women.

Whoever you are, you have completely nailed this issue. You just wrote virtually everything I had in my mind. I've read the two sides of the story. And as you rightly pointed out, OP wants to destroy his family. Unknowing to him, he's just being selfish and wicked to his children.

He should be thanking God he has a wife who could think up a smart business idea for both of them to invest together. He is here claiming property he doesn't even have any right to own. As a man, I find it hard to believe that some men in this current generation are still living like our fore fathers. No wonder most rich people would rather marry people in their class than marry people who will never get rid of their inferiority complex.

sugah:
ExtraExtra and HEseesall
The foundation of your marriage is flawed. In marriage there's no I, me, my share, his share. You went into a biz and shared the profits into his and hers instead of ours. Assuming you had the profits as "ours" then taking part of it to take care of an ailing father and using the rest to build your house wouldn't leave doubts as to whose name should be on the house documents.
ExtraExtra your faults are plenty.
1. You have inferiority complex. Your wife, in her write up, did not mention she was from a more financially stable background but you brought it up even though it added no value to the issue at hand. Deal with your complex problems else it would destroy your home.
2. You are not nuclear family oriented. Yes you are the first son so you still have a responsibility for your extended family but you don't do that at the detriment of your nuclear family. Your wife bought and built a property to completion and you are only just finding out the details of the documentation? How unconcerned were you exactly I understand putting health first in cases of emergency but afterwards you went ahead to complete your father's house before adding the change to your own house? You should be grateful to your wife for covering up your weaknesses. At least she's more family oriented and built a home for you and your kids.
3. If you are having a heated argument with your wife, the reasonable thing to do is to excuse yourself from the situation. Go out to a bar, have a drink or two to cool off then return home to a calmer atmosphere and discuss the issue. How on Earth do you ask a woman to leave the house during an argument (forget that your joking b.s, I'm not buying it)? Where do you expect her to go to cool off?
4. This one goes back to your not being nuclear family oriented.... you have already gone ahead to report the situation in your home to your extended family and even your wife didn't do it. Now you are making unreasonable ultimatums just so you can satisfy your bruised ego or at least prove to your extended family members that you wear the trousers in your home.
5. You are not willing to keep your home and you are taking for granted the fact that your wife is willing to do anything to keep the home. You have applied for a transfer to another state because of this issue? Did you consider what the move would do to your children? Have you even thought about anyone else except yourself in this issue?

HEseesall,
Learn not to make assumptions (you assumed he would know the property was in your name)... communicate! Communicate!! Communicate!!!
Agree to put the property in his name and if he doesn't change his stance about it, that's having both your names on it, then consider your stance in the marriage. Unfortunately you married a man who doesn't understand what marriage is about or the relationship between marriage and Christ so you either chose to carry your cross and make it work or seek professional help.

All the best.

chris31:
If ur not yet married i just dey pity u coz runs have destroy ur medulla oblongata

ERROR ERROR

pocohantas:
You are wise! If she did that to spite him, he would have known prior to this issue. She would have given that 'it's my house vibe', same vibe most men give their wives.

I think his wife is a good woman. OP isn't bad either, he is only proud and selfish. He should better go settle issues with his wife, this isn't a serious issue. If the house were in his name, the wife would have realised how she can become homeless in a quick second. We are only hearing this one because he is at the receiving end.

if the house were in his name she wouldn't have been running her mouth

MIKOLOWISKA:
if the house were in his name she wouldn't have been running her mouth

Can you all see. !!!!!!. Who ever pays the piper dictates the tune . Same way husband ran his mouth and got shut up. Nobody has that monopoly. The era of men holding all the aces is long gone. Run your mouth and see an iron hand clamp it for ya.