[quote author=ExtraExtra post=69558270]Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did yearshaha

.you must think the next woman is made in heaven yea?? If you think there is any fish remaining in life's ocean, Oga na abolo fish remain. Drop your bleeping ego and go back to your woman! Your kind of man makes it difficult for a woman to thrive and be successful staying married!..

Who jokes with "pack your bags and get out of my house"? Your balls were crushed and splashed all over the place when you got the shocker of your life...when the damn table was turned.

Tueh!!! Double Tueh on you! Look at you coming here to counter a thread! You need this woman to fix a lotta ish in your life mehn! You have a woman that understands what owning a property means and you want to let her go because of your stupid selfish interests I pity you because you go pay
rent till you die!... You think say one hand dey clap make anybody hear? Olorigbigbe!

Nonsense and stupid pride... Arggghhhhhh!

So basically. She did not lie

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

@Heseesall over to you.

Man.... You Bleep up.
You have zero rights to tell her to get out of the house you knew was built with 60% of her money.
Telling he to change it to your name only means you are planning something evil...
If he i your partner why trying to dominate her?
.
Nna... You Bleep up.
Don't even blame her here...
Tie to be diplomatic about issues... #women are humans

spongeisback:


Someone is already accusing her of being a cheat.



Same thing happened to a friend of mine the money belonged to the both of them and she brought the idea of buying a land and the husband refused to buy in their names. He bought it in his name. Today she's in the village with two kids.

.



Before nko

cococandy:
So basically. She did not lie

Neither did she tell the whole truth.

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

You're an intelligent man

God bless you my brother!

In your wife's post I knew that she was being cunny.

My position then was that if I were the husband I will completely forget about the house, move out with my kids and let her have them to herself.

Please don't bother yourself, just move on!

God help Us.... #IStandWithYou

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Oga its like you are not a serious somebody sef, mschew!

Eketem:
Hmmm, while I understand your choice to break the marriage I don't understand wanting to be away from your kids because they didn't offend you. Yes you say you will ask them to come over when you move but how will they keep moving back and forth seperate towns because their parents cannot be adults about a bad situation.

They have school and probably family, you can be seperated and share custody without necessarily moving.

As for your story with your wife, you should not have told her to get out of a house you both built, you could have driven out spent a few days away if you were upset as you should be with a nagging wife cursing your parents but not to tell her to get out of a house she contributed to build.


You are both adults I wish you the best apart, my only concern is you taking an extreme position of leaving town that may affect the kids, you can stay in the same town and be seperated so the kids can enjoy having you both in their lives.

You both need to provide for them and ensure they do not suffer discomfort because two of you cannot live together, they didn't ask to be born but they need both parents even if seperated

His plan is to take the kids with him when he moves. The wife can come along too if she wants but she'll have to abandon the house and her business.

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

you are not making sense.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

You obviously are taking sides.

You forgot the part where he said he used it for his dad's ailing health? Or where he completed the house and used what was LEFT for his parent's house?

Your "understanding" as you twisted is biased.

BTW, A husband and a wife should own jointly own things (if you know what I mean by Husband and Wife) .. Given the circumstances, I'll say not fulfilling his own part of the agreement was justified.

lilioj:
Awww, I feel sad reading this. Pls all marriages go through rough patches, guess this is yours for the sake of love you guys have or once had why don't you try to settle things amicably than tearing up your home. Madam if you get to read this pls apologise to your husband, change doc names to both and continue to live in peace.

She has betrayed the trust brother, she should keep the apartment...

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

am sure u are still single and searching....yeye fowl

TooNoisy:
I can see the devil is at work again

The devil is always trying to break a happy home... or was your home ever happy?

I guess all of these happened to expose your wife; I am shocked to hear that your wife did not tell you that your name was never on the house. That is treacherous. Now you should thank God for exposing the type of person you married.... and may be exposing the type of person you are as well. Joke or no joke, you should not have said she should leave your house.

Okay so let's discuss the way forward. First of all, forget about divorce - the children suffer most from a divorce and you shouldn't let your innocent children pay for your stupidity and that if your wife.

You need to call your wife and explain to her. In my view there are three options:

1. She sells the house and you both can jointly buy a house to be owned by both of you. That way, no one can send the other out.
2. You get another place and she moves in with you while she continues to rent out her own house. It is her house.
3. You move back to the house with a view to building your own house quickly. You allocate the family expenses in such a way that you are able to save quickly to build your house.

Please do not relocate to another state; it makes no sense and you are only punishing your children for their mother's sin.

What is now missing in your marriage is trust... you both will not trust each other for a long time, but time heals all wounds. You both will heal.. give it time but please don't punish your children.

Personally, I will do what he did. She can keep the apartment to herself. I won't even bother about it one bit.

Oga, this story proves you are a bully and a very inconsiderate human being and I think your wife made a good decision.


Even from this write up, you talk about taking the children as if YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS SOLE RIGHT TO THE KIDS. It shows your mindset. Little wonder you INSIST she changes the name to ONLY YOURS even though she suggested that both of you use your name. .

You are a typical NIGERIAN BULLY HUSBAND. I don't blame you though. As can be evidenced on nairaland, most Nigerian men are taught to think of women as less human and second class citizens without rights.

You tell her to move out of your house (typical!). A house YOU KNOW FULLY WELL YOU DID NOT BUILD BOTH FINANCIALLY AND PHYSICALLY but BECAUSE you thought it was in your name. Choi! Your mindset is crazy!


Now as for you madam, you should have used both your names from the very start. Even if he used his share to do other things, you two are one body and as such the home belongs to you two. I suspect you think he spent some of it on another lady BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF? If you dont have concrete proof and just mere instinct then you may or may not be wrong.
However, whatever you do, DON'T CHANGE THE PAPERS TO ONLY HIS NAME. You will regret it. It should be both your names. Not (Mr and Mrs Ego Extra) cos this can backfire in court but (Mr Ego Extra and Mrs Eestwell Extra).
This is Nigeria. No one fights for the wife. Not even your relative sometimes. Don't be stupid enough to change the name to his alone!


You see this SHAMELESS HYPOCRITES on nairaland, ignore them. If you were the one who insist that your husband changes the document of the house he built to your name ALONE, Angel Gabriel will literally blow the trumpet because there will be tsunami, avalanche, hailstones and thunderstorm on here. They dont even have any idea how utterly hypocritical they are. I mean it. Its like a mad person having no clue they are mad. They are a 100% clueless as to how much hypocrisy they exhibit on here.



That said, this bull crap about 99% of the responsibility of the family being together lying solely on the wife is so 1618. No one is dumb enough to buy that nonsense any longer. Even a new born baby now knows that it takes both grown adults in a marriage to make the marriage work.

OGA, THIS IS 2018! GROW UP! JOIN HANDS WITH YOUR WIFE TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK. OKAY?!

this is the main reason while I never draw conclusion from one side of a story, you see her husband narrative is quite different from hers.Anyway what more can i say but I sincerely hope you look for a mature way to resolve this issue with your better half.

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

the man who will marry this one ehn...na sorry be him name.

Marvel1206:


You obviously are taking sides.

You forgot the part where he said he used it for his dad's ailing health? Or where he completed the house and used what was LEFT for his parent's house?

Your "understanding" as you twisted is biased.

BTW, A husband and a wife should own jointly own things (if you know what I mean by Husband and Wife) .. Given the circumstances, I'll say not fulfilling his own part of the agreement was justified.

You apparently interposed some facts there...maybe you should read his post again. Cheers.

ahnie:
Another marriage about to go down.
Please sir....kindly forgive her.
To the fuellers Una weldoh

My Dear, what is there to forgive? She has betrayed the trust and she appears like a toxic woman. Her faithfulness is even in doubt

ExtraExtra please look for elders to talk out this issues with.

Do it for the sake of your kids and don't bother updating anyone here about your marriage.


Thanks

bukatyne:


You are very unwise.

Take that to the bank.

She will end up alone.

Take it to the CBN.

1. Your wife brought the business idea - check
2. You both executed the business - check
3. You split the money equally - error
4. Unfortunately, your dad was ill and you used your own portion - check
5. You used the remaining portion to build a house for your parents - check
6. Your wife decided to use hers to build a house for the family - check
7. You supported the project and even contributed the little portion that was left of your money - check
8. Your wife puts the property in her name alone - error
9. You both get into an argument or as you said, she was verbally abusive on a particular day - error
10. Rather than pick your keys and step out or go cool off, you ask her to "get out of your house" - error
11. In her anger, she let's you know it's in her name - error
12. You get upset and move out of the house, abandoning her and your kids - error
13. To ease the tension, she offers to correct her error by putting both your names but you insist it must be your name alone - error
14. You initiate a transfer at your office to another state, without any second thoughts for your kids, at least - error
15. You are willing to let this relationship burn if she doesn't bow down and worship you - error


Oga, YOU ARE A WICKED MAN!!!


You start your write up with that nonsense to put the burden of keeping the marriage on the woman.
No Sir! You are the man, the head and the captain of that ship! If it goes down because of what you have presented here, then it is because of your pride and lack of wisdom.

You told her to get out. She knew you right from time. This is how she would have been homeless and begging to come back to the house she built with her money

Stupid people let them go and kill their self fighting over house that one day you will die and let go

sisisioge:


See life! The most shocking aspect of this story is his absolute belief in his own fairness. She should change the title to his name alone! Chai! I strongly believe in husband and wife teaming o but this is pure day light fraud

what is more shocking is the plethora of fools who are supporting him! so she should change it to his name so when next he says get out! He'll actually throw her out? people just dey abandon brain use yansh think these days

So you know all the ladies on nairaland?And what their characters are like outside this forum?
Oga keep quiet.Traditional man ko modern man ni.

Guitarlife:
ExtraExtra I will encourage you not to listen to most of these ladies supporting your wife. Most of them are either divorced , unmarried and lonely, single and still searching for partners.The few of them that are married and still in their husbands houses are on the contrary as meek and quiet as a dove.

The need the alter ego displayed on Nairaland to express their hidden fantasy of rebelling against their husbands which they are unable to do in real life.

As per your wife, I am a very traditional man too so I know how difficult this is for you. I will advise that you do everything within your power to salvage the marriage especially because of your children. Although it is apparent now what is important to your wife. I was just about reconciling with my own fiance whom I consider extremely opinionated and too expressive for a wife which made me break the relationship in the first place.

She has been begging me and all sorts but these kind of your story dey give me another concern,make person nor go marry woman wen nor go gree respect am. It is well o...

"Dee" if you're reading this; STAND YOUR GROUND! If your "husband" won't agree to you adding his name right by yours as owners of that house then he can go to hell!.

Only a wicked man would want the house to be solely his!. He wants to be able to say, "get out of my house!" With his ego intact!

Your wife was right.
You are a proud man.
And wicked too.
Take your family issues off NL.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

In my opinion …
You have made the best decision. Stay away from that woman.
I’ve seen a similar thing happen before ,The man is dead now ...