₦airaland Forum

uncleinans:
People forget life is a two way street thing. My friends are more of a fam to me than extended family. They got me at my back, they ve been there through my whole struggle. Extended fam should stay where they belong. I have these cousins that stays in same city with me, they dont know my house, so i stopped going to their house too. Them no they feed me. Besides nothing gets me more angry than someone does something for you and then use it to either insult you later or brags bout it. By Gods grace, i will make it on my own without their help. They dont even know how i got this far.

kidman96:
Its no sense of entitlement, they are your family and getting in touch once in 2 months isn't harmless....




You never know their importance until there is a situation.

ruffhandu:
@1stNumeroUno

Accuse them back if you see any opportunity.

Some that accuse me of not coming to visit them in the village, my response: "Ah, I'm not a spirit that cannot be visited or called. Everybody knows where to find me. I know you don't just care enough about me".

Na them go begin defend themselves and apologize. Nonsense!

I no dey let that bother me. Sometimes they send such messages through my mother and I'll ask her if that person doesn't have my number.

uncleinans:
People forget life is a two way street thing. My friends are more of a fam to me than extended family. They got me at my back, they ve been there through my whole struggle. Extended fam should stay where they belong. I have these cousins that stays in same city with me, they dont know my house, so i stopped going to their house too. Them no they feed me. Besides nothing gets me more angry than someone does something for you and then use it to either insult you later or brags bout it. By Gods grace, i will make it on my own without their help. They dont even know how i got this far.

Ayo25:
An elderly family member whom we both attend the same church saw me some few weeks after my service year and said you did not come to greet me when you returned. You can imagine my shock. This is somebody who never for once asked after me while I was in far away Kano during when Boko Haram reigneth supreme. Throughout my schooling in Lagos he offered no support and suddenly after service year he started forming family head that should be paid homage to.
If he were to be my mate I would have slapped him honestly.

1stNumeroUno:
Sometimes when my uncles, aunties, older cousins accuses me of not calling/checking on them I wonder 'maka 'WHY'?

I grew up minding my 'business' alot. And I hardly visit my extended families and whenever I do (maybe on errands for my parents) I hardly sleep over or stay more than hours. Non of these people ever raise concerns about me over that. But since I've graduated and started working its being all accusation of not calling and caring about them.

I thought I'm been hitted too much on this until I got to a family function today. I didn't have intention of going before but considering the wet weather that has refused to cease; I can't afford to see mum go through it all on her own. And she's not a e-hailing fan. Long story short, on getting to the venue it took just a moment and one of the uncles started the "you-dont-call-me" ish. While I was at my apologies speech, one of my other cousins arrived in his SUV. Believe me, his accusation was in grand style. Everyone were taking turn on this guy. I felt for him. At a point he just retreated to a corner with face fixed on his phone screen. This is a guy that grew up in Ghana and barely knew some of us.

Why do people have this see sense of entitlement over you suddenly when they barely care while you're growing up?

ZIMDRILL:
Its African mentality, adults always want to be greated 1st but they forget that kids grow up and once a child is an adult treat him/her like an adult. They want to be checked up all the time but they never phone to check on you love and caring is two ways street. When kids are young to forced to great parents and adults as learning curve

Then finally the not calling after getting a job indirectly they want you call and get something from you and present becoz you now working. The sad thing is they want u to call and during the conversation they hint about giving elders gifts for more lucky in your life. Motherfucker they want the cake and eat it too aka you call them and they want small gifts

NinaJoy:
Dats just d African mentality, Entitlement, im currently on d other side I'm luking for a job and dry treat me like nothing and d worst part is dat its even coming from family friends sef dat I owe nothing just cos dey feel dey know ur parents for long dey feel entitled,, but I know it will not last,,,when I get a job I no go even look person face

lilyheaven:

You know them well well.

Ayo25:
An elderly family member whom we both attend the same church saw me some few weeks after my service year and said you did not come to greet me when you returned. You can imagine my shock. This is somebody who never for once asked after me while I was in far away Kano during when Boko Haram reigneth supreme. Throughout my schooling in Lagos he offered no support and suddenly after service year he started forming family head that should be paid homage to.
If he were to be my mate I would have slapped him honestly.

1stNumeroUno:
Sometimes when my uncles, aunties, older cousins accuses me of not calling/checking on them I wonder 'maka 'WHY'?

I grew up minding my 'business' alot. And I hardly visit my extended families and whenever I do (maybe on errands for my parents) I hardly sleep over or stay more than hours. Non of these people ever raise concerns about me over that. But since I've graduated and started working its being all accusation of not calling and caring about them.

I thought I'm been hitted too much on this until I got to a family function today. I didn't have intention of going before but considering the wet weather that has refused to cease; I can't afford to see mum go through it all on her own. And she's not a e-hailing fan. Long story short, on getting to the venue it took just a moment and one of the uncles started the "you-dont-call-me" ish. While I was at my apologies speech, one of my other cousins arrived in his SUV. Believe me, his accusation was in grand style. Everyone were taking turn on this guy. I felt for him. At a point he just retreated to a corner with face fixed on his phone screen. This is a guy that grew up in Ghana and barely knew some of us.

Why do people have this see sense of entitlement over you suddenly when they barely care while you're growing up?

lilyheaven:

You know them well well.

ednut1:
Some aspects of our culture has to go if we are to progress. If u were jobless or struggling dem no go send u

Dhayor001:
Nice point, but in reality, do you want to be called and visited by these people?

Me I know I don't.

Make everybody dey their dey abeg

fatymore:
Apart from our immediate , We still need some Members of our extended family to get in touch with.. Like someone said, you may never know when you would need them.. Try alt o call them at least once in a while, even if it is happy new month messages, it Just a way to let them know you still have them in mind...

hotdealz:
You be stingy person! You no wan help ur family people.

Why would they care about you then when you were broke? Abi you no know say na person wey dey find na em hand dey long pass?

ruffhandu:
@1stNumeroUno

Accuse them back if you see any opportunity.

Some that accuse me of not coming to visit them in the village, my response: "Ah, I'm not a spirit that cannot be visited or called. Everybody knows where to find me. I know you don't just care enough about me".

Na them go begin defend themselves and apologize. Nonsense!

I no dey let that bother me. Sometimes they send such messages through my mother and I'll ask her if that person doesn't have my number.

Cuteamigo1:
you have spoken well. i pity anyone who sees checking up on your family and visiting them every now and then as entitlement mentality. infact if thier is any reason you guys aren't bonding well it is because of not checking up on each other but many want to copy European style.

mcdokwe:
I wonder o.
I remember vividly, while growing up and in the euphoria of owning a phone, I would call almost everyone on the phone, checking up on them. If I hear there's a bomb blast in Abuja, I will call everyone I know in Abuja to be sure they're OK, when they come home (I stayed in the village) I will run errands their kids, younger than I am should be running, handle building projects for them for almost nothing when others would charge them exorbitantly, and dem go still forget me.

I continued when I got to the university, but whenever you call them, some will start telling you how hard things are, like you called to beg them for money, needless to say, I adapted to staying on my own but unfortunately, or maybe fortunately even so called friends, if you no dey remember me, stay on your own, the day we see we hail, but if you mistakenly ask why I don't check up on you, Na thunder go fire you. You wee tell me if your phone doesn't have a dial pad.

helphelp:
Your aunts and uncles that have money won't need you to call them

1stNumeroUno:
Your immediate family should never be far away. And any extended family member who gels with you can stay but if you're an extended family and we're not close - no problem. Don't just make it look like I'm the issue.

kidman96:
Its no sense of entitlement, they are your family and getting in touch once in 2 months isn't harmless....




You never know their importance until there is a situation.