crackhaus:

I thought child birth didn't affect vag1na size. It does?

not entirely,,, but it takes time to go back to shape,,

appsdope:


STFU! Childbirth isn't easy. Psychologically and physically. Let OP go and talk to her.. If he likes let him go and bring a third party into this. The more people hear about it, the worse it gets. The solution is between you two. You should know what makes her happy. Just do that and then u bought discuss it.

What is this one saying? Why did you quote what you quoted? You just jumped into a discussion like a cat that found itself on a busy highway.

All I can say is Nairaland is the one of the worst places to seek advice on emotional stuff. OP sorry y'hear? Don't mind them.

Nairaland is too full of barbaric people who don't mind others' feelings. TUFIAKWA!!!! God forbid.

Amberon:
Single women with kids marry everyday but that's not the bone of contention.
Now imagine if the reverse we're to be the case , that a woman asked her husband to leave her home (if she was actually the home owner) and even further came here to rain abuses on the man calling him miserable and ungrateful, what would have been your reaction? Wouldn't you have called her a bad woman? You men fail to tell yourselves the truth, the truth that you can't take half of what you give to your wives.

Yes op will find another woman but he will leave her again and keep leaving and the cycle will continue.

You have seriously missed the point. Go through my post again and point to where I blamed only the woman.

First of all what’s she owing you that she should be grateful for? I’m confused about that part.

And why did you tell her to leave “your” house? Is she a tenant in that house or does it belong to her as well?

You’re a sh*thead . I’ve no advice for you. The one I gave you in your former thread was a waste of my time. I hope she leaves you. It’s just a matter of time before you cheat on her if you aren’t already

If na woman leave marriage because of sex, bad sex, weak man or small rod, we all will call her or sorts of names and will even brand her a prostitute.

But here is a man singlehandedly killed his marriage because of sex and loose punana and still thinks that nothing is wrong with it and still shamelessly argues that he is doing the right thing.

Please what do we call this man??

cococandy:
First of all what’s she owing you that she should be grateful for? I’m confused about that part.

And why did you tell her to leave “your” house? Is she a tenant in that house or does it belong to her as well?

You’re a sh*thead . I’ve no advice for you. The one I gave you in your former thread was a waste of my time. I hope she leaves you. It’s just a matter of time before you cheat on her if you aren’t already

An ungrateful girl spotted. People who have a sense of entitlement in almost everything are usually ungrateful and you strike me as one of that bunch. In my opinion you are more if a shithead than the man. This is someone who is looking for a solution to his family problem and doesn't seem to know where he went wrong.

Instead of POLITELY giving him advice if you are sure of its correctness, you are engaging in name calling. Right now I'm just imagining how ugly you look. You might not be ugly (who knows?) but the impression I have of you now is that of an ugly I'll-mannered girl who'll be a trouble to a good husband.

Just my thought

nnamdibig:
If na woman leave marriage because of sex, bad sex, weak man or small rod, we all will call her or sorts of names and will even brand her a prostitute.

But here is a man singlehandedly killed his marriage because of sex and loose punana and still thinks that nothing is wrong with it and still shamelessly argues that he is doing the right thing.

Please what do we call this man??

Did he claim to be right about his wrongs?

I need you to take a screen shot of the post for me to analyse. I'm serious.

Meanwhile, don't forget that how one is raised plays a huge role in what they believe is right. If he claims to be right when he is wrong, what should be done is explain why he is wrong to him and do not expect him to believe he is wrong immediately cos certain beliefs are hard to expunge. Be generous enough to give some time. I believe you have some of that sort too. Show some understanding instead of making derogatory statements to someone seeking advice.

Some persons are scared of this typical Nairaland attitude so they hardly seek advice and end up committing suicide due to bottled up emotions.

Let's not make the world worse for the emotionally vulnerable.

joeruano:


Did he claim to be right about his wrongs?

I need you to take a screen shot of the post for me to analyse. I'm serious.

Meanwhile, don't forget that how one is raised plays a huge role in what they believe is right. If he claims to be right when he is wrong, what should be done is explain why he is wrong to him and do not expect him to believe he is wrong immediately cos certain beliefs are hard to expunge. Be generous enough to give some time. I believe you have some of that sort too. Show some understanding instead of making derogatory statements to someone seeking advice.

Some persons are scared of this typical Nairaland attitude so they hardly seek advice and end up committing suicide due to bottled up emotions.

Let's not make the world worse for the emotionally vulnerable.

I have realized that if you want to properly advise someone, you have to put emotions aside and tell the person the hard truth.
The man said his wife's puna is now loose after child birth. And the only thing the man is thinking I how to make it tight as if its the wife's fault. During marriage lots of challenges comes with marriage and this is one of them. So both of them should deal with the issue. While the woman is taking the medication to make the puna tighter, the man should also be taking the medication to make his rod bigger.
The problem now is that the marriage is about to crash because of loose puna(which was not like that before marriage). So while the woman works on herself, the man should also work on himself.

nnamdibig:


I have realized that if you want to properly advise someone, you have to put emotions aside and tell the person the hard truth.
The man said his wife's puna is now loose after child birth. And the only thing the man is thinking I how to make it tight as if its the wife's fault. During marriage lots of challenges comes with marriage and this is one of them. So both of them should deal with the issue. While the woman is taking the medication to make the puna tighter, the man should also be taking the medication to make his rod bigger.
The problem now is that the marriage is about to crash because of loose puna(which was not like that before marriage). So while the woman works on herself, the man should also work on himself.

Telling someone the hard truth doesn't require being too hard on them or being impolite or uncivil. That's my advice to Nairalanders.

I'm a member of foreign forums and the level of barbarism being displayed on Nairaland when someone with bruised emotions seeks advice is sky-high compared to theirs.

Is that your alternate account? Sounds like it.

Question. Why do some moronic men think their opinion on the looks of a woman is important at all? What has my beauty or the lack of it have to do with this topic in any way? Kindly enlighten me. Why does it matter if I’m ugly or beautiful?

joeruano:


An ungrateful girl spotted. People who have a sense of entitlement in almost everything are usually ungrateful and you strike me as one of that bunch. In my opinion you are more if a shithead than the man. This is someone who is looking for a solution to his family problem and doesn't seem to know where he went wrong.

Instead of POLITELY giving him advice if you are sure of its correctness, you are engaging in name calling. Right now I'm just imagining how ugly you look. You might not be ugly (who knows?) but the impression I have of you now is that of an ugly I'll-mannered girl who'll be a trouble to a good husband.

Just my thought

GreatDad19:
Hello nlanders

This is an update to my old thread from last month https://www.nairaland.com/4647838/wifes-vagina-loose-please

I experienced some negative feedback but was able to receive help from a generous lady who sent me a pm and advised me on what to do. I ended up buying what this said lady suggested for my wife and I thought at this point maybe this issue would be solved. Despite me avoiding this situation for years, I finally decided to address it after frustration.

After purchasing this item, I sat down with my wife in the calmest way possible to explain how I’ve not been satisfied sexually due to her giving birth. I explained to her that I felt her vagina had loosened after the birth of our child and I handed over the product that I had bought for her. My wife stayed silent all throughout the time I spoke to her. When I finished talking she gave me a very nasty look and left the room without saying a word and also eased as she left. Since that day I have been living in pure misery.

My wife has refused to sleep in the same bed with me, she has deprived me of sex. She barely cooks. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts me or up or she doesn’t respond. She’s constantly on her phone talking to one friend or the other. Completely disrespecting me in my own house. Yesterday night was the last straw and we got into a heated fight. She compared me to one of her ex’s and claimed that it was a mistake that she married me. I ended up calling her all sorts of names and told her to leave my house. I called her mother, and she was begging on her behalf but I’m no longer tolerating her nasty behaviour. It was God that stopped me from slapping her yesterday, because I’ve never been insulted like that all my life. This morning she’s packed her stuff and she has left with our daughter.
At this point I’m falling out of love with this ungrateful woman. Since the birth of our child it’s been hell and I’ve tried my best. At this point I don’t know if I should just leave my wife or try to reconcile. I have tried to my best ability but she’s very ungrateful and miserable. I believe our marriage is dead at this point and I don’t think there’s any way to revive it. She has completely let herself go emotionally and physically. She doesn’t care about herself nor myself.

I just want to know the next wise step to take

Thanks.

u see the damage online advice can cause, instead of going to see a counsellor.

so what u are telling us is that ur marriage is over because of a loose vagina abi?
did u ever consider how annoying this revelation can be to a woman, u bruised a woman's ego and stripped her off her woman pride yet u do not see anything wrong in what u have done , oga imagine a woman telling u that it pe*nis is now too small as result of child bearing ,so u should go and increase your pennis
oga these are very delicate issues, there are various ways to tell someone his mouth is smelling

cococandy:
First of all what’s she owing you that she should be grateful for? I’m confused about that part.

And why did you tell her to leave “your” house? Is she a tenant in that house or does it belong to her as well?

You’re a sh*thead . I’ve no advice for you. The one I gave you in your former thread was a waste of my time. I hope she leaves you. It’s just a matter of time before you cheat on her if you aren’t already

Common Madam Cococandy,

I dont think this guy deserves you wishing him lossing his marriage.

he already outlined some of this issues in his previous thread.

This your sense of entitlement na wa, What is wrong to been grateful to your partner.

All this una feminist paro get as he be....

Op, I wish you luck as you find a way around this situation.

What's the business of feminism in this discussion now? What’s wrong with you people that can’t make a comment without mentioning it?

Please go away with your nonsense unrelated reach for silly argument when the facts are plain.

Between both of them who’s ungrateful?

He’s the one who’s acting like she did him wrong by having his child.


FOH.

temi4fash:


Common Madam Cococandy,

I dont think this guy deserves you wishing him lossing his marriage.

he already outlined some of this issues in his previous thread.

This your sense of entitlement na wa, What is wrong to been grateful to your partner.

All this una feminist paro get as he be....

Op, I wish you luck as you find a way around this situation.

Women can be emotional and sentimental beings, why would you resort to insulting the man because he came to seek for advice.
cococandy or whatever you call yourself just shut up if you have nothing reasonable to say!
My brother @ op there are a couple of matured minds that have advised you but I think you should seek professional counseling, it is a sensitive issue and your wife is over reacting and it led to frayed emotions.
This is just one of the few rough patches we go through in marriage and life as a whole!
Best of luck!

cococandy:
What's the business of feminism in this discussion now? What’s wrong with you people that can’t make a comment without mentioning it?

Please go away with your nonsense unrelated reach for silly argument when the facts are plain.

Between both of them who’s ungrateful?

He’s the one who’s acting like she did him wrong by having his child.


FOH.

Smh...

I wish you luck in advance, you would need lots of it in the coming months..

Bye

Shugavee:
When people advise me talk to him n know how to settle issues,, I just laugh, I use to do that when I was young but I don’t anymore,,, cause it’s not as easy as it seems ,,, u can literally spoil things with ur spouse by nagging about everything u don’t like,,,, u hv to improvise ways to chip it in,, that one on one talk should be when things r going out of hand,,,


But then again I feel she is overreacting cause if my spouse can open up abt such things that’s means he ain’t willing to cheat ( even if it does) but everybody is not me!

My advise keep trying to get tru to her she will get over it!!

In my opinion u did nothing wrong,, she is just a very sensitive person

it is less about what he did (having a one on one conversation) but about his timing and the cause of the issue.

(1) Responsibility: there should be shared responsibility for the issue. Her vagina did not return to pre-pregnancy size because of a pregnancy they are both responsible for. He seemed to put responsibility on her alone
(2) Timing - at a time when many mothers suffer post-partum depression he is talking about this as if she is not worried about her changes in body already
(3) She owns her body. She would naturally and christian-ly try to compromise to meet his desires but that decision is hers to make. If she bought a product for him to make his dick bigger, he would feel humiliated and aggrieved too

GreatDad19:
Hello nlanders

This is an update to my old thread from last month https://www.nairaland.com/4647838/wifes-vagina-loose-please

I experienced some negative feedback but was able to receive help from a generous lady who sent me a pm and advised me on what to do. I ended up buying what this said lady suggested for my wife and I thought at this point maybe this issue would be solved. Despite me avoiding this situation for years, I finally decided to address it after frustration.

After purchasing this item, I sat down with my wife in the calmest way possible to explain how I’ve not been satisfied sexually due to her giving birth. I explained to her that I felt her vagina had loosened after the birth of our child and I handed over the product that I had bought for her. My wife stayed silent all throughout the time I spoke to her. When I finished talking she gave me a very nasty look and left the room without saying a word and also eased as she left. Since that day I have been living in pure misery.

My wife has refused to sleep in the same bed with me, she has deprived me of sex. She barely cooks. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts me or up or she doesn’t respond. She’s constantly on her phone talking to one friend or the other. Completely disrespecting me in my own house. Yesterday night was the last straw and we got into a heated fight. She compared me to one of her ex’s and claimed that it was a mistake that she married me. I ended up calling her all sorts of names and told her to leave my house. I called her mother, and she was begging on her behalf but I’m no longer tolerating her nasty behaviour. It was God that stopped me from slapping her yesterday, because I’ve never been insulted like that all my life. This morning she’s packed her stuff and she has left with our daughter.
At this point I’m falling out of love with this ungrateful woman. Since the birth of our child it’s been hell and I’ve tried my best. At this point I don’t know if I should just leave my wife or try to reconcile. I have tried to my best ability but she’s very ungrateful and miserable. I believe our marriage is dead at this point and I don’t think there’s any way to revive it. She has completely let herself go emotionally and physically. She doesn’t care about herself nor myself.

I just want to know the next wise step to take

Thanks.

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Thank you to everyone

Have received great advice online and offline. Thanks once again!

"She compared me to one of her ex’s and claimed that it was a mistake that she married me. "

Shuo!
Compared u with an ex means she has not been sexually satisfied but was putting up with it. Most likely d ex in question was shagging her to her satisfaction.

Only for you to come and complain that you are not "enjoying" sex anymore when she has been "enduring" it all along?

Wahala dey o.

My wife and I barely talk in the same house. I don’t even know my wife again and I belive she is cheating. My marriage has truly failed.

GreatDad19:
My wife and I barely talk in the same house. I don’t even know my wife again and I belive she is cheating. My marriage has truly failed.

People tried to give you good advice but you were only listening to those whose views was what you wanted to hear.

Apologize to her, you hurt her feelings

Countless of times, I have apologised. I have accepted my fate

Eketem:


People tried to give you good advice but you were only listening to those whose views was what you wanted to hear.

Apologize to her, you hurt her feelings

You really relegated your wife by bringing this sensitive issue here. I pray she hasn't stumbled on the threads you created. If she has, then you're in for a very long emotional trauma. You would need a lot of patience, long-suffering, prayers and positive attitude towards her without expecting such or anything in return. It's a sacrifice you need to make to appease her.

Shugavee:
When people advise me talk to him n know how to settle issues,, I just laugh, I use to do that when I was young but I don’t anymore,,, cause it’s not as easy as it seems ,,, u can literally spoil things with ur spouse by nagging about everything u don’t like,,,, u hv to improvise ways to chip it in,, that one on one talk should be when things r going out of hand,,,


But then again I feel she is overreacting cause if my spouse can open up abt such things that’s means he ain’t willing to cheat ( even if it does) but everybody is not me!

My advise keep trying to get tru to her she will get over it!!

In my opinion u did nothing wrong,, she is just a very sensitive person

1 million likes.

GreatDad19:
Countless of times, I have apologised. I have accepted my fate

So sorry

GreatDad19:
Countless of times, I have apologised. I have accepted my fate

Wahala dey.

Ask your wife what you can do to make the marriage back again.

GreatDad19:
My wife and I barely talk in the same house. I don’t even know my wife again and I belive she is cheating. My marriage has truly failed.

Hope your marriage is better now, sir?

GreatDad19:
Oga I don’t want controversy I just want a solution.
Thanks

Boss. Its fine.trust me, despite all what people are saying...I detected your sincerity, desire for peace and hunger for understanding and emotional support.

You said you want a solution. It might be hard...but it is the way for.truth. trust me, it's the only way.

1. You will go and beg your wife. You were wrong (You did a good thing in a bad way)

2. You will encounter resistance from her...maybe even Insults too. (You've hurt her deeply)

3. You said she listened to all you said calmly without
interrupting you. Do you know why? Figure that part out

Pm me ASAP

MetroBaba1:


Sister, This Is The Only Reasonable Comment I've Seen/Read On This Thread So Far.
Our Reasoning Mentality Is So Low In Nigeria And Africa.

Can Those Commenting Handle A Slack Pussy? Why Are People So Stupid These Days?

thank you very much for this. What the heck was wrong with him sitting his wife down to tell her the issue? Did he enter the house and yell at her saying I am not sleeping with you again cause you have a loose Vijay? Abegeeeee the woman has low iq and she got attitude. Op abeg relax women like giving too much attention to nonsense. What's wrong if she had said sorry you should have told me since ok let's try this.