₦airaland Forum

dasparrow:
She is not silly. She is right. Only the living have hope for a better tomorrow. Doubt me? Go and ask all the women who lost their lives at the hands of their abusive husbands. They are lying decayed in their graves now. Never to experience life on earth again. It is better to be single, healthy, happy and alive than married and sick or worse yet, dead.

were they blind when they married the abusive husbands
They thought they've seen maga
Now dia eye have clear

kmcutez:
Oga, google is your friend. Stop quoting wrong facts. There are more male born than female.

English is not your friend
More males born or more males living?

mercyway:
You have time to reply that idiot, I've seen a girl who said the only reason why she won't accept my proposal was because am too gentle for her liking. She prefers bad boy type of a guy & I was like wtf!

You sef...you dey do pass your level. What exactly did you see in her, that made you ask her to be your girlfriend? You young men of nowadays, are just so funny. In our days we would first strike up a friendship with the girl, study her moves, attitude, likes and dislikes, before asking her out on a date, or going steady. Now, you young boys meet a girl today and want her to become your better half tomorrow. When it doesn't work out, you start complaining. Tufiakwa!

koyyes:
Its very simple. There are far too many males but very few were raised to be responsible enough for a successful marriage. Most males are not raised to be men.

Most females want to settle down but since that intention has always been termed as 'desperation' to many irresponsible males, it doesn't make 'marriage' that much of a lifetime option for most females these days. All most of them want now is money and kids.

You hit da nail on da head, my brother!

Ihatelove:
I really did try to believe this but it's just how it is

don't give up easily u will find the right person someday

Oreofepeters:
Answer: Because Nigerian ladies are confused, materilistic, too selective they don't even know what they want. After hopping from one dick to the other they get dumped and became certified single.
And mostly, Nigerian ladies love playing hard to get and guys don't have time chasing after them. me personally I don't like chasing a girl once I approach and I discover your playing hard to get I move on to the next.

the trend will continue to thrive I don't see it ending anytime soon until they buy sense.

All you small boys, and your microwave mentality. You don't like chasing a girl - "once you approach and she plays hard to get, you move on." How childish. There is a reason why it takes thousands of years for coal to turn into diamond, and there is a reason why good things are hard to find. A girl that says "Yes, I do," the very first day you approach her, will easily offer herself cheaply, to the next guy she meets. It doesn't matter if you are her boyfriend, or not.

majekdom2:
women that fail to realize the truth or understand how a man thinks stick to this opinion the reason is because men chose to be irresponsible- do you know there is a girl that will sleep with that “irresponsible” man for a loaf of bread? Thus he doesn’t see any value in a woman because his mindset is bleeped up. It is not a problem that peculiar to one gender. It is a problem that is peculiar to us as a people. The women see a man as the means to meet their fianancial needs, the man sees the woman as a slave and sex object. It is a mind problem. When auch Women are someway financially independent, they feel they don’t need a man and no sense of wisdom to guide them. Same with the man, he feels he can get any woman to disrespect as long as he has few notes to spend. We need to have the right mind set and understand the main reason for relationships. The main reason is to achieve greater grounds and bigger goals. The. I left says one shall chase a thousand, 2 ten thousands. Investors don’t invest in individuals, they invest in teams. Teams don’t work well if they don’t have the right mindset!

Try to understand her point. Yes, a lady can "sleep" with an irresponsible man for a loaf of bread, but would she gladly marry and settle down with that same irresponsible man for a lifetime, knowing his true nature? The answer is likely to be 'NO.' The same goes for men, too. They can sleep with a girl as a quick lay, but would they marry her and keep her as the mother of their children for a lifetime? Hell to the NO!

The rest of what you wrote though, is spot on!

kingkakaone:
This is the problem in this country. U people will just use d actions of a selected few to condemn the whole which is unfair. This is my reason I don't condemn females because I know there are angels among them.
Besides, we only see what we want to see.

BTW, most Nigerian ladies prefer these women beaters.

They reject gentlemen claiming they are too calm and not swagged enough and accept the advances of their "fantasy" swag guys who later add them to their list of preys.

I know of a lady who rejected a guy claiming he was too calm and gentle for another guy. Right now, she's still praying and looking for a man after she has been used and dumped while the other guy has gotten married.

U claim the guys are not good, what can u say about the ladies?

No woman prefers a woman beater, unless she is a masochist. And not all women are masochists.

Secondly, any man who gets turned down by a girl, because he is "too calm and not swagged enough or too gentle," is a clueless toad. Why? Before approaching such a girl, you should have studied her to know if she would prefer a calm & gentle guy as a boyfriend, or a rugged and domineering individual, as a soulmate.

From the way she talks, the kind of examples she uses, the type of people she admires, you should be able to tell what kind of person she would like to hang out with, and the kind of people she avoids! But most guys do not like doing any form of research, on a girl they want to date. The see a girl today, and want to hop into bed with her tomorrow, and make her their girlfriend in under 48 hours. When things don't work out like that, they start lamenting. Na so life be?

smeag0l:
The truth is that every lady in Nigeria wants a man that is wealthy or has a lot of money to throw around. They easily ignore the ones that are struggling to make it and have a great future/vision. I've been on both sides of the coin(struggling at a point in my life and then living comfortably now) and I know what ladies reaction are. To be honest, most of the guys you call Bleep boys are actually not. Guys reason logically and no guy messes around with a good-natured lady who has something more than sex to offer in a relationship.

Speak for yourself. There are many guys that have messed around in the recent past with good-natured girls and dumped them, after having their fill. There are men who are still doing so, even till now. So kindly do not generalise. I have a number of respectful, good-natured female friends who have been victims of such shenanigans by men, and have been left with a bitter aftertaste, after such relationships ended.

Some men see such good, respectful, hardworking girls as weak, so they take advantage of them. What one man sees as gold, may be viewed as brass, by another. Perspectives differ, so do values and mindsets.

smeag0l:
It will shock you to know that majority of the ladies that come online to announce how men are scum are jobless, lack intellect and ambition and have nothing other than sex to offer in a relationship and it doesn't take a guy more than three outings with the girl to discover this. The other reason why a guy beats his wife or girlfriend, apart from the fact that the guy is naturally violent, is because he married or is dating a slayqueen who only channels or her efforts into caring about how she looks and nothing more. She feels entitled and believes her physical or facial beauty is the reason why the guy should spend on her.

Nothing gives any man, the right to beat up a woman. It is crass, clueless thinking that makes a man think he has a right to beat up a woman, simply because she is his girlfriend or wife. Why don't you just walk away from her, if you do not like her attitude? Real men retain control of their emotions.

smeag0l:
I have a lot of female friends that are quite wealthy and working class ladies. Many are married because they decided not to unrealistically set astronomical standards for men. The few that aren't married actually made this same mistake and are trying to correct it now. Stop listening to social media rants from ladies who claim to be ill-treated by guys- Many of them have no jobs and only rely on the men for everything.

Sadly, majority of guys can differentiate between ladies that can add value to them and those that will set them back. The other day, I was reading a post here on Ifu Ennada talking about how she needs a boyfriend. My first thought was, "What job does this lady do or what is her profession?If I want to date her what value will she be adding to my life?" I found it difficult to answer these questions. Same with Linda Ikeji. She's a blogger but I know how much bloggers make on the average. Are her own fingers laced with diamond that her income seem to be in wide variance with other super bloggers?

Have you ever thought about why the likes of Mercy Aigbe, Rita Dominic, Genevieve Nnaji and other female actresses flaunt a lot of wealth while their male counterparts that are quite as good if not better are just struggling to barely live comfortably? And you come here to say that these ladies are rich and comfortable but guys aren't coming. Which sane man wants to date a corporate prostitute?Guys know these things even if nobody says them. No man(both rich and poor) wants to marry a lady that with either not impact his life or may even send him to his early grave.

There are women who dated and married men they liked, who were not necessarily rich, but had vision and potential. Some of those marriages worked, others did not. Today, how many young men have vision or potential, and can actively communicate that vision to others, or are working hard to bring it to pass? Very few. Some will tell a woman - "Oh I want to be rich and make it big." Ask him 'How?' He starts blabbing, looking at the ceiling, but cannot give you one viable business plan or project he has researched and done some active studies on, in order to convince anyone to invest in him.

Several others are just running from pillar to post, after get-rich-quick schemes, that do not hold any value or promise. While some are busy looking for handouts from rich uncles or benefactors, in order to make it big. Only very few are concentrating on legit worthwhile projects, that are well-structured or defined, and serve as a viable source of income. I have said it before - Women look at a man's potential, before taking decisions.

The way a man treats a lady, is a reflection of the kind of upbringing he has been given by his parents and/or family members, and is not dependent on how much a woman earns, or does not earn.

But the real question is this: "Why are men intimidated by successful women, and assume that all such women are into runs or prostitution?" There are women who are not actresses or celebrities, but independent hardworking ladies, who made their money in a legit way, yet men still assume that such women must have had a male benefactor or something, to strike it big. Hello? Doesn't education, intelligence, skill, aptitude, hardwork and ability to spot good business opportunities count for anything, anymore? Are you saying most independently wealthy women, cannot use their intelligence and business acumen to make a good life for themselves?

If you suspect that a woman has a shady lifestyle and is living larger than her income, by all means avoid her. But to taint all women with the same brush is bad. Not all rich babes are oloshos. My neighbour's daughter is a classic example. She studied abroad, came back to Naija and joined her mum in the lace fabrics & aso-oke trade. But she modernised her own, and included exotic designs from Thailand, Korea and Austria.

Today she earns 3 times what her mum used to earn from the same commodity, and lives in a cute 2-bedroom flat in VGC in addition to owning her own SUV. But people see such things, and automatically assume that such a girl must have a rich sugar daddy somewhere, when that is not the case. Her ex-boyfriend was even the one who scammed her of 1.5 million and took off, with her money after convincing her to open a business together. See life?

LaudableXX:
Speak for yourself. There are many guys that have messed around with good-natured girls and dumped them, after having their fill. There are men who are still doing so, till now. So kindly do not generalise. I have a number of respectful, good-natured female friends who have been victims of such shenanigans by men, and have been left with a bitter aftertaste, after such relationships ended.

Some men see such good, respectful, hardworking girls as weak, so they take advantage of them. What one man sees as gold, may be viewed as brass, by another. Perspectives differ, so do values and mindsets.


[s]Nothing gives any man, the right to beat up a woman. It is crass, clueless thinking that makes a man think he has a right to beat up a woman, simply because she is his girlfriend or wife. Why don't you just walk away from her, if you do not like her attitude? Real men retain control of their emotions[/s].



There are women who dated and married men they liked, who were not necessarily rich but had vision and potential. Some of those marriages worked, others did not. But the real question is this: "Why are men intimidated by successful women, and assume that all such women are into runs or prostitution?" There are women who are not actresses, or celebrities but independently hardworking ladies who made their money in a legit way, yet men still assume that such women must have had a male benefactor or something, to strike it big. Hello? Doesn't education, intelligence, skill, aptitude, hardwork and ability to spot good business opportunities count for anything, anymore? Are you saying all independently wealthy women, cannot use their intelligence and business acumen to make a good life for themselves?

If you suspect that a woman has a shady lifestyle and is living larger than her income, by all means avoid her. But to taint all women with the same brush is bad. Not all rich babes are oloshos. My neighbour's daughter is a classic example. She studied abroad, came back to Naija and joined her mum in the lace fabrics & aso-oke trade. But she modernised her own, and included exotic designs from Thailand, Korea and Austria.

Today she earns 3 times what her mum used to earn from the same commodity, and lives in a cute 2-bedroom flat in VGC in addition to owning her own SUV. But people see such things, and automatically assume that such a girl must have a rich sugar daddy somewhere, when that is not the case. Her ex-boyfriend was even the one who scammed her of 1.5 million and took off, with her money after convincing her to open a business together. See life?

He has right to hit her if she hit him first or pose serious physical danger to him.

Hanseel1:
He has right to hit her if she hit him first or pose serious physical danger to him.

Look at the reasons he gave in his post, before responding.

LaudableXX:
Look at the reasons he gave in his post, before responding.

Oh.. I didn't read it first.

Nigerian men beat women and their fellow men for primitive and mundane reasons like

She/he was insulting me, like WTF, if she insults you -you have a mouth to insult her back not beating her. She insulted you with her mouth not hands.

Then -being a slayqueen ,careless individual doesn't mean you should abuse the individual.

Everyone has a choice.

Hanseel1:
Oh.. I didn't read it first.

Nigerian men beat women and their fellow men for primitive and mundane reasons like

She/he was insulting me, like WTF, if she insults you -you have a mouth to insult her back not beating her. She insulted you with her mouth not hands.

Then -being a slayqueen ,careless individual doesn't mean you should abuse the individual.

Everyone has a choice.

Exactly!

Ladies need to focus more on building great friendship, being helpmates and bringers of joy than chopmates, fuckmates and contentious leadership and role dragging based on feminism with men alone so men can consider them useful beyond the bed.


More women have occupied jobs men mostly do before from which they raise money to marry without taking the responsibility of financially facilitating and bankrolling marriage as a matter of responsibilities part of their new found positioning. Hence the average earning lady in Nigeria unlike her white counterpart, is still looking for a man to bank roll their friendship and marriage when she and her fellows are occupying the very jobs men have to occupy to do the bank rolling. Thus the few men who can bank roll friendship and marriage now have excess ladies flocking around them that they can have "all" marriage gives without being married.

For even many married men wish they are single due to their wife being bringers of stress by exhibiting antagonistic vibes and attitudes!

bukatyne:
O yeah, we are the problem till ladies and guys are desperately trying to settle down in their 30s. The lady especially is too desperate and can longer diligently choose so she settles for anyone and later cry that all men are...... Insert whatever adjective you like.

And who told you that people at 20 don't have jobs?

Let's assume the are even in school.

At 20, a lady starts preparing for marriage... Start becoming more homely, start doing personality checks and realise that fuckboys are off the table. She might find someone at 21, study him in a 2yr courtship and start prepping for wedding so that by 24/25/26, she is married.

Because she is still young, she is not pressured to settle and can end a relationship if the guy is not what she thought he was when she gets closer.

Whatever she thinks she is enjoying with random men can be enjoyed with one man if she marries right. Couples do date nights, go to clubs if inclined, go for vacation, have destination sex, have sex in their car/balconey/hotel/rooftop etc. As they like it.

Ditto a guy.

True talk there. My man. Now too much school and locked up in work place day after day only exposed to fellow workmates who may not be inclined to date them have robbed many ladies of finding the man at their prime of their physical beauty.
How can they understand.
What you write is exactly what i plan to advise my daughters. Start looking for marriage partner early as 20 while studing whatever.

Paulagada:
Because most mature and responsible men are jobless.

oh my gosh!!!!

Biglittlelois:
Wrong!!! opposites attracts, it's now left for either one of them to be influenced or walk away.

opposite attract doesn't apply to this situation, YOU ARE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON YOU ATTRACT, THE WAY YOU DRESS OR BEHAVE IS SIMPLY THE WAY YOU WILL BE ADDRESSED.

MOST WOMEN THESE DAYS JUST BLAME GUYS FOR BEEN FUCKBOYS BUT THE MAIN QUESTION IS WHO GIVE THEM THE PRIVILEDGE?
toke makinwa is a very good example, all she knows how to do is show her boobs and ass online for men to drool then later she will complain of not getting serious men coming forth, how do you expect a responsible guy to appreciate you when you paint this kind of image of yourself, although she might be of good character but impression counts alot and it goes distance also, And we have a lot of women like that.

majekoam:
Correction. Most of the guys you've met or been around with are pricks.

Also of all the women that have commented about men. Have you met all of Us... Those comments are wildly ignorant.

The tables can be turned...alot of men have plenty of stories of being messed over by women so lets not be partisan and hypocritical.

The fact is that most ladies would prefer a well to do guy. The problem is that SOME of those well to do guys prey on it and take advantage....

Then Ladies you have a choice... Take a risk and suffer with a guy that might not be all set but is going places (Usually the nice guy or the quiet ones who are either overlooked and exploited) and is more likely to end well (but not all the time)... or continue to "Enjoy" with "Bad guys", who are Fresh, Paid, will most likely be using you and then dump you (The writing is on the wall - He is a "Bad Guy" and then you come on every social media platform to then call the male gender a bunch of P-nis led demons...

....Oh and if your thoughts are Id rather go with the bad guy because he has money....then I dont have any sympathy for you.

One last point....there are maaaany women who are in great relationships and marriages...they just are afraid of letting the world know because they know there are many low-life women that would be willing to snatch their boyfriends/husbands if they could.

Essay over.
Peace y'all.

nice one

Robynwelo1:
It's fun. Hahaha

I love the comments I have seen so far. More and more women are beginning to realize that marriage is not a do or die affair, it's a choice. Knowing this, there would be more respect in relationships, especially coming from the men, as time goes on.

we know your type, Linda ibeji sister, BE FORMING INDEPENDENT MEAN WHILE THEY CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT A MAN.

bukatyne:
Subject the man to temptation how?

I am not a fan of updating SM per second however, I will not think of snatching except you are talking diabolical means here.

Funny how we do not agree and I suddenly sound like an advocate of broken homes.

I hail you.

I am all of women being good and sensible however if you think it is to tolerate the excesses of a husband, you have it twisted.

I expect same standards from men and women.

If that makes me a home breaker according to you, so be it.

I'm not going to lie to you... I am completely confused by your write up. Diabolical means?! That didn't cross my mind. Excesses of a husband?! Where did I mention anything like that or where did i condone such behaviour? What I agree with is Men an Women should have the same standards. I said "like" a home breaker because that kind of comment is what homebreakers say..
The bold part - Really?

Ihatelove:
Cause most guys are pricks, so we would rather stay single than die of heartbreak

take heart.which guy mentally damage u like this

LaudableXX:
You sef...you dey do pass your level. What exactly did you see in her, that made you ask her to be your girlfriend? You young men of nowadays, are just so funny. In our days we would first strike up a friendship with the girl, study her moves, attitude, likes and dislikes, before asking her out on a date, or going steady. Now, you young boys meet a girl today and want her to become your better half tomorrow. When it doesn't work out, you start complaining. Tufiakwa!


You hit da nail on da head, my brother!

Firstly, you don't know my age

Secondly, you don't know numbers of years we've been friend together

You don't know the year the incident happens

You don't know my current marital status

You mean a working class grown up man of 29years can't ask out a working lady of 27years after being friend for 3years & some months? Do you realize these happened many years ago?
Its better for you to STFU instead of spewing shit

omoharry:
that being single has alot of emotinal trauma..it a myth to me.because if you are single by choice that means you have other things doing for yourself that you have always wanted..to achieve..but the others that allow family and social pressure to get to them usually fall into your category.I choose to remain single by choice not because i am looking for a man with money but Someone I will be at peace with..I have not found that person..and if I dont find him..then I would rather remain single ..forget the biological clock bla bla bla..things..I really don't care about those things..I am this kind of person that believe that i need not conceive and give birth before i can be a mother, must I?..no!..there are so many motherless children all over the place that need all love and care that they can get..if possible a mother figure....so there are so many things in this world that need our attention and contribution for the good of mankind...Marriage is not for every body.If you find love and a good and hard working person with a wonderful personality then marry but if not it is not the end of the world..one should not end up with necessary idiot and monster in sheep clothing just because society is on their neck to get married...I see marriage has one of those circle of life and not everyone will be captured in this cycle.So let the single women be please...na waooo!!

You are so right.

A lot of people make single women think that something is wrong with them. That they are single because of their wrong doings of some sort.

I have an aunty that is over 40 with a child from her first marriage that met a single man of 45 that has never been married. The guy is everything she wants in a man. They will be wedding soon. Meanwhile some men would have made her feel she is used product or old newspaper.

Apparently, he was disappointed badly by a younger girl. Somehow, people do not question older single men but only attack the ladies.

majekdom2:
can I ask, what is the sole reason of having a partner? Is it a means to sustain one’s financial needs or a means to make one better? The thing is some women have this mentality a man is just there to meet their need just like you have put upthere, thus when they can meet their needs without the support of who they call partners, the wisdom and sense to keep a partner is gone. The reason they are single. They can’t love or see a man beyond his financial abilities at that time. The reason why we work as a team in organizations is to achieve higher grounds, meet goals faster. This is same for relationships. What can you say of a lady whose fiancee suggested they open a joint account, save together towards a goal and the response the guy got was “ you are looking for someone to sponsor you abi”. We need to have the right mindset, this is where is starts from.

Mr relationship expert, I have some questions for You,
Are you in a solid relationship?
Howmany relationships have you been able to keep with all your wisdom?
How well do you relate with people in real life?

You can choose to ignore this or drag it on here but trust me, I am gonna drag it on with you for as long as it takes, all you need to do is to quote me.

Unfortunately Niaraland has created an opportunity for every Tom, Dick and Harry to hide behind their keypad and give opinions on relationships and other issues yet they forget that some persons actually do know them deeply beyond Nairaland.

People should learn to be real,
I hate hypocrites!!!

OLAJADON:
we know your type, Linda ibeji sister, BE FORMING INDEPENDENT MEAN WHILE THEY CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT A MAN.

Who is Linda Ibeji? You don't know jack about me though. Please name for me the people that have died because they couldn't survive without a man. Feeling so self important aye!

Igbokiller:
take heart.which guy mentally damage u like this

I ain't damaged, I am enlightened

ImaIma1:
You are so right.

A lot of people make single women think that something is wrong with them. That they are single because of their wrong doings of some sort.

I have an aunty that is over 40 with a child from her first marriage that met a single man of 45 that has never been married. The guy is everything she wants in a man. They will be wedding soon. Meanwhile some men would have made her feel she is used product or old newspaper.

Apparently, he was disappointed badly by a younger girl. Somehow, people do not question older single men but only attack the ladies.

That is the Nigerian society for you.

LaudableXX:
All you small boys, and your microwave mentality. You don't like chasing a girl - "once you approach and she plays hard to get, you move on." How childish. There is a reason why it takes thousands of years for coal to turn into diamond, and there is a reason why good things are hard to find. A girl that says "Yes, I do," the very first day you approach her, will easily offer herself cheaply, to the next guy she meets. It doesn't matter if you are her boyfriend, or not.

Lol @ microwave mentality. He will grow up.

LaudableXX:
No woman prefers a woman beater, unless she is a masochist. And not all women are masochists.

Secondly, any man who gets turned down by a girl, because he is "too calm and not swagged enough or too gentle," is a clueless toad. Why? Before approaching such a girl, you should have studied her to know if she would prefer a calm & gentle guy as a boyfriend, or a rugged and domineering individual, as a soulmate.

From the way she talks, the kind of examples she uses, the type of people she admires, you should be able to tell what kind of person she would like to hang out with, and the kind of people she avoids! But most guys do not like doing any form of research, on a girl they want to date. The see a girl today, and want to hop into bed with her tomorrow, and make her their girlfriend in under 48 hours. When things don't work out like that, they start lamenting. Na so life be?

If u had read my comment properly, u would have understood what I said.

Ur second paragraph is totally out of point with my assertions earlier, I don't think I can answer them because they are not in line with my thought.

BTW, no man has a woman beater bill written on his forehead, they are the smartest when going out for a lady. They know how to scheme their ways into the life of these innocent ladies by studying their strengths and weaknesses and always ready to strike when the guard is down.

Ur narrative just fulfilled the complete attribute of a woman beater, no offense intended.

princfred:
True talk there. My man. Now too much school and locked up in work place day after day only exposed to fellow workmates who may not be inclined to date them have robbed many ladies of finding the man at their prime of their physical beauty.
How can they understand.
What you write is exactly what i plan to advise my daughters. Start looking for marriage partner early as 20 while studing whatever.

I am a lady bro

MIKOLOWISKA:
English is not your friend
More males born or more males living?

Both, except maybe at old age, as males have a shorter life span than females.

kmcutez:
Both, except maybe at old age, as males have a shorter life span than females.

if you say so

Ihatelove:
I ain't damaged, I am enlightened

so enlightened u speak and act pained.even chose a pained moniker.or is ur moniker not a sadist's?