My Friend is a lecturer in a state university in the southwest. His wife works as an administrative officer in a federal government agency. My Friend have been having issues with his mum and his siblings since salaries became a nightmare for workers of his institution in 2016. His wife who works with the FG and earns regular income monthly has been the mainstay of the family financially since 2016. Meanwhile the extended family still expects him to contribute financially to them as it used to be. To make matters worse, my friend completed his new house early this year and moved in, this he achieved through a cooperative loan obtained by his wife. The wife is very good to her husband and children. My friend's mum told me his son hasn't been collecting salaries, that his complaints has always been "no salaries". that is he the only one who is not been paid salaries? That the stipend he sends to her every month has become so irregular and that he has stopped helping his two younger sisters. The two younger sisters are illiterates and married to fellow illiterates, they believe their brother is being unecessarily stingy. I made attempt to explain things to them, at least that this guy was so responsible to them when salaries were regular but none of them is ready to listen to me. They just believed its his wife who's influencing him to turn deaf ears to them. Attempts to find a better placement for him in a federal university hasn't materialised. My Friend has decided to ignore them and face his life but the mum and his siblings are not relenting in narating their stories to whoever cares to listen. Guys, how can my friend wriggle out of his present predicaments?

And im here looking for a Government job either state or federal.

Well i think your friend either isnt telling them everything or they dont believe him or the just want him to take from the wife and give to them.

ok... family issue...

He already got it covered...continue to ignore them. Let them talk. Finish.

sisisioge:
He already got it covered...continue to ignore them. Let them talk. Finish.

He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

No salaries? That na LAUTECH, Osun State University or EKSU. Akungba dey pay small small. Oga lecturer no dey do extra jobs ni? Na wa for African families o. Everybody just believe say they are entitled to your income just because they sponsored your education or you're born by the same parent.

wwwkaycom:
He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

She should sacrifice more to make the man happy? That's when insult will enter the family. The lady will start insulting her husband then cheating will enter. Why can't the mother manage. If na me sef I no for send money. How can ur friend not have a second source of income? Na mumu dey worry am.

appsdope:


You're mad. She should sacrifoce more to make the man happy? That's when insult will enter the family. The lady will start insulting her husband them cheating will emter. Why can't the mother manage. If na me sef I no for send money. How can it friend not have a second source of income? Na mumu dey worry am.

Na dat come make him mad? Can't you make your point without resorting to coursing, insulting and abusing?

wwwkaycom:
He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

Jesus wept! She is presently shouldering the man's responsibilities and you think she should shoulder his mother's as well? Oh forrrrks, there's really a major fault in our stars in this part of the world! Shege!

sisisioge:


Jesus wept! She is presently shouldering the man's responsibilities and you think she should shoulder his mother's as well? Oh forrrrks, there's really a major fault in our stars in this part of the world! Shege!

That’s the entitlement mentality speaking.she must sacrifice even more .mtcheew

the man should look for how to appease his mum. but he shouldn't put the burden on the wife.
but must he appease the mum and the sisters? sincerely its only here that someone's child is the person's retirement plan. some pressures are not worth it.

the only important person he needs to take care of is his mum

illiterate marry illiterate, how the Bleep can the marriage work out? poverty mentality

kennybabs1980:
My Friend is a lecturer in a state university in the southwest. His wife works as an administrative officer in a federal government agency. My Friend have been having issues with his mum and his siblings since salaries became a nightmare for workers of his institution in 2016. His wife who works with the FG and earns regular income monthly has been the mainstay of the family financially since 2016. Meanwhile the extended family still expects him to contribute financially to them as it used to be. To make matters worse, my friend completed his new house early this year and moved in, this he achieved through a cooperative loan obtained by his wife. The wife is very good to her husband and children. My friend's mum told me his son hasn't been collecting salaries, that his complaints has always been "no salaries". that is he the only one who is not been paid salaries? That the stipend he sends to her every month has become so irregular and that he has stopped helping his two younger sisters. The two younger sisters are illiterates and married to fellow illiterates, they believe their brother is being unecessarily stingy. I made attempt to explain things to them, at least that this guy was so responsible to them when salaries were regular but none of them is ready to listen to me. They just believed its his wife who's influencing him to turn deaf ears to them. Attempts to find a better placement for him in a federal university hasn't materialised. My Friend has decided to ignore them and face his life but the mum and his siblings are not relenting in narating their stories to whoever cares to listen. Guys, how can my friend wriggle out of his present predicaments?

Tell your friend to ignore them. If they don't believe him no point convincing his family members. Let them think whatever they want as he can't kill himself to please them.

wwwkaycom:
He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

Why are wicked! Do you want to stress the poor woman because she wants to please her in-laws?. Have you consider how much she earns? Have you also consider whether she would sent stipends to her parent and siblings too?

tyosho:


That’s the entitlement mentality speaking.she must sacrifice even more .mtcheew

Haaaa! May God help us all, especially the male folk.

wwwkaycom:
He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

I hope yoi didnt type while high or something because i dont understand this write up.

wwwkaycom:
He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

The woman has no obligation towards making her mother-in-law's stipend regular as she is shouldering the financial responsibilities of the home and the house the family now owns has been achieved through a cooperative loan obtained by the woman which must be repaid.

Don't forget she also have her own family of origin who may also need her financial assistance. Her mother-in-law sense of entitlement should not extend to her. If she has raised her own 2 daughters to be empowered she won't be putting pressure on another woman's daughter!

His married sisters are not his concern! They should lie on the bed as they made them! He should ignore them completely. Even when the salary is regular, why should he be sending money regularly to married women? What is the function of their husbands?
As for the mother, he should do his best to take care of her. As long as he is doing his best according to his conscience, he is free. Also, he need to discuss with the mother to stop spreading what happened in his family to outsiders.

wwwkaycom:
He can't continue to ignore his mother pls. He, should discuss with his wife and find ways of making the monthly stipends of the mother regular. Let his wife sacrifice more to make her hubby happy. I know how stressed the woman would be especially if she's supporting her family members too, let her sacrifice more after all things weren't like this before. He owe those married ladies nothing, whatever they need should be supplied by the men that made them women, their husbands.

I hope you are not married!
This is the worst advice I have come across! Have you asked if the wife's salary is even enough to take good care of the family? Overburden the wife and resentment sets in and the whole family will be in jeopardy.