₦airaland Forum

Newboss:
No lady with an iota of dignity should change her name to any man's

That's the first thing I'd expose my daughters to
A world where women are free indeed

You can't change your name to my name, no even reason am Keep your identity, and I keep mine

I think it should be subject to choice tho

If she want to, or not.

AmazonHippolyta:
Chimamanda and Co that did not change their own names after marriage.
Are they not still successful and breaking glass ceilings.It has nothing to do with your success story.
Change of name is a choice and not a must.

exactly

Amakavula:
Twitter user Cynthia Lolo has sparked an important debate about marriage abouy ladies taking their husband's name after marrige, especially those of less successful spouses.

Tweeting Cynthia states that:

"I will not take the surname of my partner except i'm guaranteed that using his name opens doors that my name wont" pic.twitter.com/E2bp2Qu8ot

— Lolo Cynthia (@Lolo_cy) December 29, 2018

I think it's unnecessary to force a lady to change her name after marrige just to please her man especially it is a famous one; imagine Opera winfery or Kendell Jenner or Kardashians changing to a nobody just because of marriage

Well these women you just mentioned are world celebrities who are very wealthy so it's a totally different ball game,yeah Il even change my name to Oprah Winfrey if I was her husband and she asked me to, until I file for a divorce and take half of all she has,that ofcourse is if I don't love her tho,but if I love her then I'd stay.

But one broke nija girl can't come and be dragging surname with me because I want to give her a ring.

Amakavula I hope you are not serious about thinking it's not a big deal like the girl who made the statement because I am bringing ring for you today so if you will drag surname with me just let me know now let me put my ring back in my pocket o

Larryfest:
Hmm..... I hear they call some ladies evening newspaper well let's just say they will even be better than you if you keep up with this mentality...

lol....she go wait tire

victrick105:
With all due respect to chimamanda and Kim Kardashian and Co, I don't place them in the same league as Hillary and Curie... Greatness get level, this women are celebrated world wide and still manage to know that family should not be messed with... If you notice, it irrelevant people who make a storm out of a tea cup, a busy mind doesn't have time for silly thoughts like this, it's as if u are at war with men, the last name of your name should not be bothering you if u have better things to think of... Pls I am a supporter of womens right and I believe in equal rights, but modern day feminist seem to hold a grudge against men and have completely misunderstood the real essence of feminism which fights for womens right, and I don't see how a womans last name has any thing to do with her rights. It's just for easier identity and status in the society.

Whether a woman changes her name after marriage or not does not diminish her status as a married person in anyway.

It's all about choice.


I'll tell you a story

You know its the norm to give a child his/her father's last name, but there was this man from Iraq who later became American, married an American and had kids during the 2001-2005 period when Muslims were targeted and bullied (911 shadow)

He gave his two boys their mother surname to save them from bullying and all.
this Man worked for George Bush (damn I have forgotten his name)

My point is l....
in the 21st century, as long as your motive are not vile, choice is everything

junnyjake:
Great, let her hold on to that philosophy tightly and never let go under any circumstance, while she waits for the man that would accept her marriage terms, as for me, you're taking my name as my wife.

That's for YOU

Not every man is like you

I personally don't mind

so do others

Every man for himself

Newboss:
Her name and my name

You might as well just be live-in lovers na.

Slazim:
You might as well just be live-in lovers na.

What else are we? Brothers and sisters?

Ranchhoddas:
Did Osho teach a life of isolation? I don't think so. Osho loved life. In fact he had over a hundred cars; Mercedes, Rolls Royce, name it. He believed in living to the fullest. He was known as the sex guru due to his stance on sexuality. I'm not sure where you got the isolation from.
I've not read the paper you speak of.

We may have different interpretations, I understand that he sees the society as corruptible, so there ought to be some form of detachment.

Ugosample:
That's for YOU

Not every man is like you

I personally don't mind

so do others

Every man for himself

Good for you.

An advantage to that : she may have no right to claim your property when you gone except your will says otherwise.

junnyjake:
Good for you.

An advantage to that : she may have no right to claim your property when you gone except your will says otherwise.

who told you that?

I don't know how it works in Nigeria, but normally, as long as there is a marriage certificate that proves you were married when you were alive, whether she bears your name, her name, sango's name or whatsoever, she has all legal rights of being married to you

And besides, why won't my wife (and kids) have claim to my stuff when I'm dead

All my hard work is for my girl and my girls

SAMBARRY:
Cynthia,that's your personal decision,your prerogative and your husbands, please keep it to yourself. Every adult has the right to choose the way he or she wants to live his life.


I'm a woman but please women,ladies,make this world easier ,less complicated and better by learning to keep however you want to live your life to yourself, that's why we're from different families, educational backgrounds,religion and ethnic groups.many of your opinions are always subjective, biased and sometimes not pragmatic.

I'm also a fan of women having the right to choose the name they want to bear after marriage but I won't shove it down another woman's throat. Learn to mind your business abeg

telling people to mind their business, isn’t minding ur business.

She would hv made more sense to me if she just stuck with not taking her husbands name.... chiamanda is doing it. So other women can to . But the fact u said u will if the person this or that, that means u would only choose patriachy when it’s beneficial to you. That’s stupid n goes against everything feminism stand for.

That bring stability in the family, so u answer one surname while ur husband n kids answer another ? Or u both share the kids? U all just wanna cause confusion!! Instead of saying stuffs like this ,, just say u don’t wanna marry . Sometimes it’s not all about u,, ur kids nko?

Shugavee:
telling people to mind their business, isn’t minding ur business.

she's shoving her opinion of how people should live their lives on the cyber space and I'm telling her to face her front. That's me letting her know she has limits

sunbreaker:
my brother ask me ooo.why she hasn't remained in her father house

she is even poor not being able to look after herself, she is looking for nigga she can leach on

More beautiful, well educated, powerful, wealthy, good character women joyfully took their husband's name.
So, who are you?
That is how it has always been.

Advice: Don't marry any man you feel you can not bear his name.

AmazonHippolyta:
If ladies say they want to pay groom price.
Majority of you men would say it is unafrican and not your culture.
Besides no price should be paid on anybody.
Because some men managed to pay 50 naira bride price on their wives does not give them the right to treat them any how.

Any person who allows themselves to be "bought" or paid for (like a common object), should therefore accept that they've become that person's property, whether male or female.

So as much as I don't believe in this bride price BS, I certainly can understand why some men believe they OWN their spouse.....and demand to be refunded if that same spouse don't act as they (the buyer) deem fit.

MrBrownJay1:
Any person who allows themselves to be "bought" or paid for (like a common object), should therefore accept that they've become that person's property, whether male or female.

So as much as I don't believe in this bride price BS, I certainly can understand why some men believe they OWN their spouse.....and demand to be refunded if that same spouse don't act as they (the buyer) deem fit.

I agree.Hence why I believe that the bride price of a thing or list in a traditional wedding is a business transaction.Which in my opinion should not be encouraged.

hpretty:
More beautiful, well educated, powerful, wealthy, good character women joyfully took their husband's name.
So, who are you?
That is how it has always been.

Advice: Don't marry any man you feel you can not bear his name.

Let us hear word Jooor.She is a human being and has every right to whatever identity she wants to answer and there are powerful influential women who did not take their spouses last name.
Do you even know the origin of surnames?who told you it has always been like that?Nothing is static it can always change.In some countries the children bear both parents surnames.And there is no law forcing a woman to bear her husbands last name.
Whether a woman chooses to answer her spouses last name or not she has every right to get married.

Its not exactly a big deal, for most Nigerian men na pride dey worry us, i know ladies who kept theirs or used both, and the marriage is fine.

Whatever works for a person and his/her partner.

torqque7:
Well these women you just mentioned are world celebrities who are very wealthy so it's a totally different ball game,yeah Il even change my name to Oprah Winfrey if I was her husband and she asked me to, until I file for a divorce and take half of all she has,that ofcourse is if I don't love her tho,but if I love her then I'd stay.

But one broke nija girl can't come and be dragging surname with me because I want to give her a ring.

Amakavula I hope you are not serious about thinking it's not a big deal like the girl who made the statement because I am bringing ring for you today so if you will drag surname with me just let me know now let me put my ring back in my pocket o

SAMBARRY:
she's shoving her opinion of how people should live their lives on the cyber space and I'm telling her to face her front. That's me letting her know she has limits

no she didn’t,, she simply said what she would do, never said u all needed to do it... PS: that’s still not minding ur business, u are as well telling people how to live their own lives .. ur guilty. Practice what u preach dear

you will find some self-professed feminists saying that the lady is a Misandrist and that change of surname after marriage has nothing to do with feminism.

... and then you will find others that will say this has everything to do with feminism.

So many different understanding of feminism.

My personal take is that there should be no coercion and peeps should be completely honest with their expectations regarding the change of surname. If you do not want to change your surname after marriage, say so. and if you expect your spouse to change her surname after marriage, let her know early so she knows if it is something she can cope with.