₦airaland Forum

Go and read this thread over five times y will come back and thank me.

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

Bro,
I hope you get this my message.
You are a very very weak man. And forgive me know to say this but your son might not even be your son.
How can you tolerate such a lady? That's madness.
If you die today do you think she'll mourn? She'll Bleep her ex on your funeral day BRO.
FVCKING wake up!!
Do you know her ex bleeps her on your matrimonial bed?
Do you know she bleeps around?
The answer to all these is YES!
don't you know that you'll meet better women that will give you long life and more progress?
You married a something worst that a LovePeddler as a matter of fact an irredeemable one.
This is a new year, after reading this take your "son" for a DNA test and get your self a new wife.
This is the best advice you'll ever get online or offline.
Bro I beg you take this my advice and before the end of the year you'll thank me.
I just hope you read this.

Go and read this thread over five times y will come back and thank me.

https://www.nairaland.com/3693940/interesting-here-finest-type-revenge

demelza:
To hook a Nigerian man is very easy.

Simply pretend and act humble.

Be the first to apologise.

Kneel down and give him food.

In fact, pretend to be submissive

Before you know, you don marry.


@Op, sorry o!
Get a lawyer to help.

We fall for it, every f*cking time

Evercurious:
But she is right on point. Cos that's what men want

Not all men, I don't want that kind of woman.

BlacSmit:
If this is truth. I advice that you secure yourself first and move out of the shared apartment cos your relationship is very toxic at the moment.

Secure your finance and priceless valuables as well.

Your can start the divorce proceedings from your hideout like dino melaye. (sarcasm intended)

Please try on this one op ....it will do a lot help....

My brother threaten you want a divorce and see what happens, but don't be a weak man..... I don't think she would change.....your wife is a bag of pretence as at when you both were courting

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

My Brother I won't advise you Rush for a Divorce.....

There are many ways treat issues and punish Offenders!

But for the Mean time Secure your life First...

You could take her for a visit to her parents house and leave her there...

Make arrangements for few persons that will go there with u ( Preferably secretly)...


Part 2

You could visit your Pastor and his wife and pour yourself out to them...

Make dem understand the true state of things.. They could be of much help...


Most important, you as the Head of the Home should Accept JESUS CHRIST and bring him into your Home... cos that's where Real peace comes from

The Creator of Heaven and Earth please save a mumu brother.

ZAWs:
Posts like this irritates me a lot.

Some Naija men are very funny.
Men are no longer men.
How could you take all these nonsense in your own house?
For wetin na"

his "son" might not even be his son.
I'm sure all her exes fvck her when on their matrimonial bed when he's not around.
He married an irredeemable prostitute.
Some men are bastards too. How can one text and flirt with a married woman about her pussy, and unfortunately that's because she abhors it.

Adiwana:
Shut up you fvcking retard.Hes a beta male that doesn't deserve to be called a man.If he's asking for advise,he might as well kneel down every morning to greet his wife.Hes wife stabbed him 3 weeks into marriage and you are here asking foolish questions.You might as well offer your advise for him to love and cherish her.Stupid fool.Too many weak men this days.smfh

you're a fuckboy...cause you read some shit on alpha male you think you're anything.... you're nothing..based on your comment i know you don't have sense so I'm not going to reply after this... he asked for advice he didn't ask to be insulted by someone i'm very sure he's better than... bye

Royalamour

Here's an article I wrote on Marriage generally:



Mouth Piece
THE EVANGEL
Marriage is Difficult
ADMIN OCTOBER 7, 2018

By Deji Yesufu

The attached photo is the pre-wedding picture of a couple that appeared on the front page of Nairaland this past week. Looking at the man and the woman, one cannot but think that a more perfect couple cannot exist anywhere else in the world.

The man is handsome and the woman is beautiful. The man seem to have it altogether and the woman is smiling to the glories of the future to come. The Cinderella scenario continues until you discover that marriages are contracted in a fallen world, among people with very real weaknesses; which if not managed properly would result in lifelong pain for both spouses and their families.

I saw a movie on Cable TV recently that told the story of a man and his wife. Man and wife love themselves deeply but their marriage is challenged by the fact that the wife is a high flying career woman while the man cannot seem to get his life together.

They have a daughter who loves the father but despises her mother. To cope with his frustration and his wife’s frequent absence from home, man falls into adultery many times. Wife forgives him. Wife however falls victim to a co-worker who preys on one of her vulnerable moments, when she thinks her husband is again cheating on her. She sleeps with this person. Husband learns of it; home is on fire. In the process of finding the truth, husband is killed. Wife and daughter are left alone to bury their dead.

The only attractive thing about couples is the facade of pretence that many put up for members of the public to see and think know that their home is altogether. The truth is that most marriages are hurting and many people are at a loss as to where to find help from. I would not even attempt to suggest any thing like “steps to a victorious marriages”.

All of those people who write books like those are mostly liars. There is no hard and fast rule to making a marriage work. I dare to say that only God can make a marriage work. If we realize that the success of our marriages are premised wholly on the mercies of God, we would turn to him to help us.

I think one of the greatest shock absorbers that I received in dealing with the difficulties in my marriage was realizing early enough that marriage was not going to be a bed of roses. I had understood that my own inherent evil heart would be made manifest to my spouse; therefore giving me a reason to be particularly patient with her own idiosyncrasies.

Somebody asked an elderly couple what was the secret to their longevity in marriage. The man answered by saying: “both of us are never angry at the same time…” It was a sort of unwritten rule for them: only one person is permitted to be angry at the other per time. So when one person blows hurt, the other person keeps quiet.

Yet even this method would not work for all marriages for the mere fact that all human beings are different. And in a home, couples do not pretend. They show their true colours to each other.

While I do not think that I am competent to teach anyone how to run their marriages, I think that God teaches couples how to live with each other. It is at this point that I must say that I am convinced that only a Christian marriage, where the Holy Spirit is Lord of each of the individual’s hearts, would be able to fulfil God’s purpose for a particular marriage. While I am convinced that even non Christian marriages can succeed, I think only a Christian marriage can bring God’s purposes to fruition on earth.

For this to happen, each spouse must know Christ as their Lord and their Savior. This is doubly so because marriage would manifest your heart to you and those who are sincere with themselves would admit whether or not they have known the Savior. In fact the whole process of committing one’s life to Christ is made manifest in the marriage itself.

A self willed and independent woman would realize that if Christ is truly her Lord, then the man whom God has placed over her must be respect and revered, regardless of what he may seem to have or not have. The whole process of learning to submit to her husband become her own path to salvation. The day she surrenders her independence to her husband, that may be the day she has genuinely has surrendered to the Lordship of Christ.

The same thing goes for the man: a man realizes that his freedom is now a bondage to a wife. He cannot do as he pleases anymore. If he loves Christ, he must love his wife. The whole process of loving his wife may become for him the process of loving Christ and submitting to him.

When a husband and a wife come to love and respect one another as the scriptures command, and as the Holy Spirit has taught them to do, their marriage begins to grow into the purposes that God wants for them. The biggest challenge here is that many couples would never know these lessons in their lifetime and may only begin to learn them when death has done them part.

On a positive note, however, we should be encouraged that from everything hard, tough and difficult, comes the most fulfilling, enjoyable and blessed things of life. The same goes with marriages. If couples would endure the storm and wait on God, trusting in his good purposes, they would laugh last. There are so many women today who are thankful that they remained in their matrimonial homes through the years of their husbands philandering. Those who left their homes are today regretting the decision.

Marriage may be difficult but I am convinced that the difficulty in marriages are usually only for a season. A heart steeped with faith in God would endure the hard times and come out rejoicing at the breaking of the day of joy. It is possible for the facade of joy that accompany many of these pre-wedding photos to translate to genuine joy and contentment in latter life after the couple might have endured and overcomed the difficult days of their marriage.

Deji Yesufu is the author of the book VICTOR BANJO. He may be reached on newdejix@gmail.com.

http://mouthpiece.com.ng/marriage-is-difficult/

[quote author=Emaprince post=74373824][/quote]Truth is bitter. But it's the best medicine for your soul.

Sarkin:
Bro,
I hope you get this my message.
You are a very very weak man. And forgive me know to say this but your son might not even be your son.
How can you tolerate such a lady? That's madness.
If you die today do you think she'll mourn? She'll Bleep her ex on your funeral day BRO.
FVCKING wake up!!
Do you know her ex bleeps her on your matrimonial bed?
Do you know she bleeps around?
The answer to all these is YES!
don't you know that you'll meet better women that will give you long life and more progress?
You married a something worst that a LovePeddler as a matter of fact an irredeemable one.
This is a new year, after reading this take your "son" for a DNA test and get your self a new wife.
This is the best advice you'll ever get online or offline.
Bro I beg you take this my advice and before the end of the year you'll thank me.
I just hope you read this.

Bros.....I'm sure the kid ain't his....he need DNA to ascertain whether the kid is his......

@royalarmor , sir, in the matter of woman, you are fairly daft....but its all good; all men of the human race are daft, my humble self included.

It can be argued that this ailment that plagues us, this disease, this daftness isnt strictly our fault; its dna at work- the chemical reactions in our bodies that we cannot do without. A look at our ancestor, the first man would buttress my point. Or you think Adam took the forbidden fruit off of eve for anything else than to please her? Anyway...

I would strongly advise u to pay dudes that have advocated a sound beating for her no heed. Yes, we are all daft but there are degrees to the daftness and these dudes quite take the cake. If she has raised a hand at u before and then u beat her, the odds u will die before ur time would jump. High. The idea of an alpha human male is an illusion. There is no such thing, i submit.

What to do? Im not sure exactly as i might be just as daft as u, good sir. But i think i laud ur decision for a divorce. See the experts on that. Do follow through, maybe. Afterwards, MGTOW is a movement that has piqued my interest quite a bit recently...but how about the uncontrollable bodily chemical functions?

We might as well embrace our fate as you and i know you will eventually need the warmth of woman and will resort to your daftness again. But, again, its all good.

You know what? Embrace who you are, daftness and all. I would argue that you are courageous. Stand for something at least. If we die, we die. Whatever you do, do not join the growing trend of men seeking succor in sex dolls. That is demeaning to yourself while daft. The lowest wrung of daft.

I pray you find some peace, good sir.

stories like this makes one scared of marriage. God help us

Someone cannot seek help without getting insulted... can't you just tell him whatever you want to without saying weak man or beta male. SMH

Royalamour

Your case is bad. Really bad. And a divorce is a clear option. I however counsel against divorce BC of God's support for marriage.

You may reach me in the aforementioned email for more counseling.

bedspread:
My Brother I won't advise you Rush for a Divorce.....

There are many ways treat issues and punish Offenders!

But for the Mean time Secure your life First...

You could take her for a visit to her parents house and leave her there...

Make arrangements for few persons that will go there with u ( Preferably secretly)...


Part 2

You could visit your Pastor and his wife and pour yourself out to them...

Make dem understand the true state of things.. They could be of much help...


Most important, you as the Head of the Home should Accept JESUS CHRIST and bring him into your Home... cos that's where Real peace comes from

There's absolute no need for diplomacy here.
I Would have divorced her lineage the moment her ex was complimenting her pussy and she abhors it.
He married an irredeemable prostitute.
I'm sure if this naive gentle man dies she won't morn for more than 1 hour and will climb her ex the next day.

I believe you have censored most things here. I will like to have a private chat when the you. Hope u are not in a saprophytic relationship?

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

i predict higher rate of divorce in d nearest future

nigerian women of this generation r hardly humble and spoilt unlike our mothers

Our men are becoming too weak these days all in the name of forming nice guy.

To all the young men out there, women need iron hand. Don't be too nice else she will take you for a ride.

Bros abeg pursue that witch comot for your house before she kill you.

Nonsense.

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

and u are still living with her.....u die well if she use charm on u..

Skmoda360:
Bros.....I'm sure the kid ain't his....he need DNA to ascertain whether the kid is his......

person way marry unrepentant OLOSHO. no need for DNA sef, I'm sure na the gateman get am, not even the son.

No offense royalamour

Zieina:
royalamour @op, I hope you read this.

You made a mistake marrying that lady you call your wife now. Pls, it's very important for people to be able to spot red flags in their relationship before taking things to the next level. Now, the red flag in yours is this:

1. her parents always calling your parents and calling you
2. her parents always calling your parents and calling you to tell you not to let other girls win you over.

This is a clear sign that something isn't right with their daughter. Your gf's parents have no business calling your parents often or you. It's their daughter dating you not them so they have no business calling. By calling you, they were overselling their daughter, repackaging her as a good person and manipulating you in the process. Overselling her because they know she's mentally disturbed. I hope you get the rest of my point.

The dad out of guilt is now encouraging you to do the needful if you can no longer take the heat. Her parents knows who she is but like every parent, they wanted her to get married. So they worked together to deceive you.

u have said it all......bro bought a damaged goods

KingAzari:
You are from another planet, I swear. I have been married for 6 year and I can't take 5% of what you just narrated above. I had some disagreement that bothered on her constant nagging and bickering with my wife last month and I left home for 4 days. It took both families, friends and even my boss to make me go back to my house. I don't like violence; domestic or otherwise, so i had to bail out of the house when it was obvious that the real intent of my wife that day was to provoke to the point of beating her. I just took a few things and jumped into my car and left.

What i will suggest is that you find a place to stay and go to work while the impasse rages. I do not know how old your child is but make sure your plan includes your child/children.

Wow!

You married married men are going through a scary lot. Choi!

This is making my consideration for marriage lower.

Dyt:
coughs

na wa o

for 11 months she was the best but changed afterwards
that she even stabbed you

it is well my broda

my dear datz d stuff u ppl are made of wen desperate.

Acidosis:
You didn't address the ex issues before your wedding. Marriage will not automatically erase a woman's feelings toward an ex. If she didn't get over her ex before marriage, she won't in marriage. Aside the change of name and that band, marriage changes nothing. A cheat and a careless person will always remain the same until a conscious effort is made; it doesn't matter where you conduct your wedding, Paris or Rome.

More importantly, the world these days don't give a fck about married women, you can go ahead to wear 25 wedding bands. The same kind of conversations you hold before marriage will always come back to live. Those randy buddies won't care whether you're married to a Pope or a Senator.
Gone are the days were people consciously respect married women. A married woman that wants to be respected needs to respect herself before marriage.

Bottom line, your wife hasn't changed. You only decided to get played at the onset. I bet you didn't even care to know about her past (you're probably one of those folks who claim they don't care about the past). Oh well, the past will always come to haunt those who fail to address them. Getting to know about these exes after 2 years in marriage shows the kind of courtship you had.

On whether to divorce her or not? I think you should listen to your in-laws. When your own in-law tells you to quit after several attempts to correct their daughter, trust me, only a f00l will advise you to continue. I don't know more than her parents who raised and trained her. They probably even know more than you do, so listen to them and listen to that inner voice.

Now unless you're marrying a total virgin, you need to dig deep without raising trust issues. Don't ever make the mistake you made in this marriage in your next attempt.

All the best bruv.

Which inlaw in this planet earth will ever advice a man to divorce their daughter? You started the advice well but ended it badly. Rather the man should contact his own family members for way forward. Thank you

royalamour:
Please don't mind the typos and other errors.

how did you put up with so much nonsense?




You don't even need to divorce her straight away. Send her out of your house 1st. Then divorce her later

EfemenaXY:
Divorce. Divorce. Divorce.

Divorce isn’t always the answer to marital problems and should never be taken lightly especially when there are children involved.

This should only ever be the last resort if all else has failed.

Besides, there’s always three sides to every story:

~ His side
~ Her side
~ The truth

Based purely on your side of the story, you need to do some serious soul searching and ask yourself why your wife changed overnight.

The first few years of marriage are the honeymoon stage. You courted this woman for 11 months. That’s quite a while to have studied her. There is no way a person can keep up the pretence for 11 long months (unless yours was a long distance relationship?). There must have been red flags. You just chose to ignore them.

Nonetheless, there HAS to be a reason why she’s suddenly turned 360^os on you. Obviously there appears to be:

1. An emotional black hole in your relationship. The ex turning up is a symptom of the underlying issues with your marriage. A woman would only turn to an ex or another man if her emotional needs aren’t being met. For example when discussing with your wife, do you seek her opinion / input or do you wave aside her views? Do you say “Thank you” to make her feel appreciated when she gives / does something you are a recipient of? What is your sex life like with her? Do you take the time to satisfy her needs? Or is it all about you, you, and you? Is life with you one endless boring routine? Or do you make efforts to spice it up?

2. Trust Issues. When a wife starts stashing away huge sums of cash in secret, it means she’s preparing a nest egg for herself and her kids without you in the picture. Most times this action arises from betrayal or if she perceives you to have betrayed her. Have you ever cheated on her? Or done something to make her feel insecure in your union?

3. Immaturity. A refusal to acknowledge one’s fault / mistake and apologise accordingly is usually down to misplaced pride and immaturity. Wisdom comes with age. How old is your wife?

For a marriage to work, both parties have to roll up their sleeves and get stuck in. You have to ask yourself if there’s any part of you that wants to salvage the marriage. If you do, then you need to ask your wife if she’s still interested in the marriage too.

If the answer is “yes” from both of you, then both of you need to make the effort to save it. Start by seeking help from a neutral third party such as a marriage counsellor. Book a couple of sessions with them so you and wifey can talk through your issues.

Your problems didn’t start today. They’ve festered for over four years so you need to be patient and not expect everything to be miraculously resolved in one day. A lot of patience, perseverance, and constant communication will be needed to get your relationship back to a healthy state.

It is well.

This advice is beautiful I love it ,however from your comments you are probably a woman ,

To the op first things first my advice is move out for some days to have a clear head, no matter the advice people give you it's your problem you need to man up and face it but you can only do that when you are alive, then do a DNA to confirm the baby you have is yours to avoid stories that touch the heart.

People give excuses for different things dont let your life be a super story.

Don't deceive yourself, every divorce comes with complications, you just have to develop balls to go through with it